CHEF MAXIMUS' KITCHEN or THE OFFICIAL ROTHARMY COOKBOOK

[jharp84]

Originally posted by Chooch MaGooch
I hear your favorite is man jizz goulash.

WTF?

[Romeo Delight]

Originally posted by MAX

Is that some sort of recipe that originated in Russia? Now and only to be found transcribed within the grout of a bathouse in San Francisco?

Again, this thread isn't about poopy nor doodies. So please feel free to start your own culinary thread pertaining to fudge, corn kernels, peanuts, raspberry ripples, etc or how to remove chocolate rings around your lips during a quick "bathroom break" at a nice dinner party for both yourself along with your fans.

Thanks

Hey MAX.

[MAX]

Originally posted by DavidFlamma
Hey MAX.

How are you bro? Long time and no see.

I hope you had a wonderful holiday season!!!

Anyway, great to see you and here's to a wonderful 2008!!!

[diamondsgirl]

Penis Stew

1 pound of penis, ram's or bull's
3 tbls. oil
1 large chopped onion
2 garlic cloves, peeled and chopped
1 tsp coriander seeds, crushed
1 tsp salt
freshly ground black pepper

Scald the penis, then drain and clean (doesn't say how you clean a penis. Not sure a guy would know since this penis is, well . . . never mind).
Place the penis in a saucepan, cover with cold water, and bring to a boil.
Remove any scum, then simmer for 10 minutes.
Drain and slice.
Heat the oil in a large skillet.
Add the onion, garlic, and coriander and fry until the onion is golden.
Add the penis slices and fry on both sides for a few minutes.
Stir in the remaining ingredients with a good grinding of pepper, add enough water to cover, and bring to a boil.
Lower the heat, cover, and simmer for about 2 hours, or until tender.
Add a little water from time to time if necessary to prevent burning.

Yum!

:p

[Hyman Roth]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
Penis Stew

1 pound of penis, ram's or bull's
3 tbls. oil
1 large chopped onion
2 garlic cloves, peeled and chopped
1 tsp coriander seeds, crushed
1 tsp salt
freshly ground black pepper

Scald the penis, then drain and clean (doesn't say how you clean a penis. Not sure a guy would know since this penis is, well . . . never mind).
Place the penis in a saucepan, cover with cold water, and bring to a boil.
Remove any scum, then simmer for 10 minutes.
Drain and slice.
Heat the oil in a large skillet.
Add the onion, garlic, and coriander and fry until the onion is golden.
Add the penis slices and fry on both sides for a few minutes.
Stir in the remaining ingredients with a good grinding of pepper, add enough water to cover, and bring to a boil.
Lower the heat, cover, and simmer for about 2 hours, or until tender.
Add a little water from time to time if necessary to prevent burning.

Yum!

:p

[Hyman Roth]

Originally posted by MAX
I'm sorry that you took the time to post within this thread.

Unfortunately, I've now read your post three times and I still don't get it? :confused:

...

Thanks

Well I get it. Still have my email addy?

[MAX]

'ello folks.

Long time and no post.

Anyhoo, I hope everyone's doing well?

K,

Two nights ago, I actually had one of those weird "accidents" like how Nachos and Buffalo Wings were created. Mine's far less significant but was delicious nonetheless.

Anyhoo, I had a surplus of shrimp that needed to be cooked. I'd already scampied the shit out of the prawns to death. So, I busted out the deep fryer. Well, when I went to make a batter, the fridge was bare. I was out of both milk and eggs!!! So wtf was I going to use since I'd already seasoned the prawns with spices and made a seasoned flour?

Well, I'd had a cupla glasses of shiraz, went through the pantry and got creative.

I used a can of fucking creamed corn and whisked it with some beer to make a batter.

Crezzi, I know!!!

Anyway, the fucking fried shrimp turned out golden, crispy, delicious and spectacular!!!

So here's how to do it...

Season your shrimp with whatever like cajun seasoning, salt, pepper or whatever. Do the same with some flour. Then dip your uncooked shrimp in the seasoned flour, dunk in the batter and deep fry.

Again, the batter was so flavorful and rockin', I'm going to do some chicken fingers using the exact same method.

It was a great surprise!!! Also and what's great 'tis the fact that there's ZERO dairy for those poor bastards of whom are lactose intolerant. Hence, what a great substitution batter for frying cod, halibut, chicken, clams, etc. and no need for eggs, milk or anything!!!

K, just thought I'd pass along my latest crowning jewel. lmao!!!

Again, hope all's well people.

[Julius]

Hi Max, hello all.

So it's back? Back for reals?

Wow, I had given up all hope. It's great to see this place and the people again.

Hope everybody is happy and healthy, I'm looking forward to more cool recipes 'n shit.

[Little Texan]

Digging this thread back up to share a great recipe I just tried.

Broccoli and Crab Bisque

Ingredients:

1 cup sliced leeks (white part only) (Note: I substituted onions because I couldn't find any leeks)
1 cup sliced fresh mushrooms
1 cup fresh broccoli florets
1 garlic clove, minced
1/4 cup butter, cubed (Note: I used a whole stick of butter)
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon dried thyme, crushed
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1 bay leaf
2 cans (10-1/2 ounces each) condensed chicken broth, undiluted
1 cup half-and-half cream
3/4 cup shredded swiss cheese
1 package (6 ounces) frozen crabmeat, thawed, drained and flaked

Directions:

In a large saucepan, cook the leeks, mushrooms, broccoli and garlic in butter until broccoli is crisp-tender. Stir in flour and seasonings until blended. Gradually add broth and cream.
Bring to a boil. Cook and stir for 1-2 minutes or until thickened. Add cheese; stir until melted. Add crab; heat through but do not boil. Discard bay leaf before serving.

[standin]

I had thought about this thread.
Great recipe, Little Texan!
I did not realize how many people did not know how very easy and quick it is to make butter.

1 mason jar.
whipping cream (or heavy cream {haven't tried it, trying it today})
Pour cream into mason jar until half full or less.
Add spices or don't.
Let cream warm to room temp (not sure if this makes a difference, seems logical it would lessen the time to make the butter.)
Shake jar until butter forms.


The butter happens pretty quick, maybe the length of the news. I haven't timed it.
When it becomes butter. It will be like shlirp. Poof there it is. You can't hear it if you not making it. You hear it in your hands.

So then you have the butter in a milk liquid. This liquid tastes nothing like the butter milk from the store. Actually is kinda reminds me of skim milk. Very good skim milk. Skim milk from the store taste as bad as the butter milk from the store.

The soft butter is in the mason jar and you have to get it out in one piece.
Turn the mason jar on its side, shake it until the butter is shaped for that angle (3 or 4 shakes)
Take the lid of the butter dish and gently pour the butter and liquid in to the TOP of the dish ( that is the deep part not the flat part)
Put into the refrigerator.
The butter hardens quickly.
Remove the butter.
Pour liquid into a container to save or drink.
Put the butter back into the top of the butter dish.
Use the bottom of the dish as the top of the butter container.
Enjoy your butter.
This butter does not burn like store bought butter.

[Little Texan]

Bump

Howza bout that Chile Relleno recipe, Maxwell?

[MAX]

Bump

Howza bout that Chile Relleno recipe, Maxwell?

K, here goes...

Chile Rellenos


One can Ortega canned chiles (or you can use fresh but all of that roasting and peeling is not for me. lol)
3-6 large eggs (approx. 1 egg for 2 chiles)
1/4 cup flour (optional)
Brick of cheese cut into 1/4 inch thick rectangles as long as the chile
Deep fryer or a large pan with 2 inches of oil
Pinch of salt
Paper towels for draining


Stuff the chiles
Place a slice of monterey jack (or pepperjack) cheese into the chile, but don't force it. If the cheese is too large, trim it down until it fits inside. Make sure the open edges of the chile still come together.


Prepare the chiles
Place half of the flour on the bottom of a plate. Place the chiles on the flour and sprinkle the rest of the flour on top. Use your finger to make sure the entire chile is coated. Dust off remaining flour and set chiles aside. Since the canned chiles are in liquid, this step is important for the batter to stick.

Prepare batter
For a simple batter, whip 3-6 egg whites until stiff. Slowly fold in yolks and a pinch of salt.

Cook chiles
One at a time, dip the stuffed chiles into the batter and then into the hot oil. Cook until batter is a crisp golden brown.

Drain excess oil
Remove chiles from the oil and drain on paper towels.

Use cold eggs for the batter.
Test the oil with a drop of batter before putting a whole chile in. If the drop of batter sizzles and floats to the top, it's the right temp. If it sinks, the oil is not hot enough.
The flour should be a very light coat. It helps the batter stick to the chile.

When they're all fried up, I usually put some echilada sauce on the top along with some shredded cheese.

[Susie Q]

Max, since Christmas is right around the corner, what are some of your favorite holiday recipes?

[Dan]

1 Chicken,Dead Or Alive.
1 Oven, Set On Hot.
1 Plate,1 Fork.

Now Eat That Chicken.

[Susie Q]

1 Chicken,Dead Or Alive.
1 Oven, Set On Hot.
1 Plate,1 Fork.

Now Eat That Chicken.

mmmm....so tasty too!!:tongue0011: