CHEF MAXIMUS' KITCHEN or THE OFFICIAL ROTHARMY COOKBOOK

[Panamark]

Must heat them first, until they open up !!

You sneaky devil, Dan.. these are good tips, Im writing
this shit down !!!

(Are we talking about cooking ??)

[Dan]

Originally posted by Panamark
Must heat them first, until they open up !!

You sneaky devil, Dan.. these are good tips, Im writing
this shit down !!!

(Are we talking about cooking ??)

LOL

Yes the cooking.

[blonddgirl777]

I might have written that one before but since I think it's a real good one for the majority here...

Beer Chicken;

Cut in cubes, some chicken breasts and boil them in beer until cooked right but not to much.
Serve with white rice.

Seriously!

I've never been that great of a cook but my husband saw me as a real chef, the first time I pulled that one.

[diamondsgirl]

Originally posted by Dan
Hello Max.

Yes,Green Lip Mussels are The Best

Max prefers green lipstick...actually aquamarine is his fav...and it looks great with his eyes...

[Little Texan]

Bacon Wrapped Stuffed Anaheims

Original Recipe

10 or more fresh anaheim peppers
8 oz. pkg Mexican cheese blend
1 pkg thick sliced bacon
2-3 small jalapeno peppers, sliced
1 pkg Philadelphia cream cheese
1/2 stick real butter
vegetable oil
toothpicks

Roast peppers in pan under broiler until skin is blackened and ready to peel. Peel skin from peppers, cut stem end off and remove seeds. Set aside. In a skillet melt butter, add jalapeno slices, and saute until soft, about 3-4 minutes. Drain butter from jalapenos and set aside. In a bowl, place cream cheese, a few handfuls of the cheese blend, and the sauteed jalapenos. Stir and blend well. With a spoon, scoop the cheese mixture and stuff the anaheims. Wrap each anaheim with a slice of bacon, and place toothpicks through peppers to hold bacon on. Close open ends with toothpicks. Heat oil in skillet and fry stuffed peppers until bacon is nearly crispy. Remove from oil, remove toothpicks, and serve. Delicious!

[Seshmeister]

Originally posted by MAX
For the buns, there's a "trick" my grandmother always used to "toast" them. Just spread mayo over the buns, put them face down and grill them. Might sound weird and/or gross but believe me, it flavors the fuck outa the buns and toasts them perfectly.

It does sound weird. I might give it a go though.

When I do fajitas I never use the sauces you are meant to. I think a lot of the commercial sun dried tomato you get here at least are pretty shit. If you are short of time much better to use a tomato and garlic pasta sauce and tart it up with lime and fresh coriander.

I never have any time these days.

I was cooking for 7 at the weekend and did great fajitas in 15 minutes.

Got pre diced chicken breast, pre chopped onions. Threw some tumeric over the chicken, fried it. Chucked in the onions, some green peppars and mushrooms. Squeezed 2 limes cut length ways for the juice. Handful of fresh coriander. I then let it reduce with a jar of tomato and garlic pasta sauce and a little water.

Served it with pre grated cheese, tortillas, salsa and creme freche. Everyone seemed to think it was great and as I said 15 minutes in the kitchen so no wasted drinking time.

I used to spend 4 hours cooking shit when people came around, nowadays I can't be bothered. Best option is just to cheat. If it tastes good it's good.

Cheers!

[Seshmeister]

Jesus I'm getting gayer by the minute but if you are going to use mayo remember that you can get the low fat stuff which is 1/10th the fat and tastes pretty much the same. Sour cream has the same amount of fat as full cream so use reduced fat creme freche. It tastes the same especially if you are drinking.

Don't waste calories on non alcoholic products...

[Seshmeister]

I've got a few of these.

I should write a book.

15 minute tasty recipes that allow you to drink like fuck without becoming a fat bastard.

Anyone know a publisher?

[Seshmeister]

Originally posted by blonddgirl777
I might have written that one before but since I think it's a real good one for the majority here...

Beer Chicken;

Cut in cubes, some chicken breasts and boil them in beer until cooked right but not to much.
Serve with white rice.

Seriously!

I've never been that great of a cook but my husband saw me as a real chef, the first time I pulled that one.

Sounds too good to be true.

Boiled chicken and white rice? Prison food...? Maybe he's just being polite.

Hmm...

[Dan]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
Max prefers green lipstick...actually aquamarine is his fav...and it looks great with his eyes...

LOL.

[blonddgirl777]

Originally posted by Seshmeister
Sounds too good to be true.

Boiled chicken and white rice? Prison food...? Maybe he's just being polite.

Hmm...

Prison food? L.O.L.
I really do, feel in prison when I have to cook meat (I'm a vegetarian).
So he better be polite!

No, it's not boiled... I meant in the oven but still...
Haaaa... he didn't marry me for my coocking talents for sure.
I suck at it!

[Seshmeister]

Originally posted by blonddgirl777
Haaaa... he didn't marry me for my coocking talents for sure.
I suck at it!

LOL! Freudian slip!

[blonddgirl777]

Originally posted by Seshmeister
LOL! Freudian slip!

L.O.L.
One has to compensate! :p

[Little Texan]

One of my favorites, easy and delicious!

Crab Bisque

1 (10 3/4 ounce) can cream of asparagus soup
1 (10 3/4 ounce) can cream of mushroom soup
1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup half and half
1/2 pound lump crab meat
1/4 cup sherry

Using a heavy saucepan, combine all of the ingredients and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and allow to simmer for 5 minutes.

[Little Texan]

Best Guacamole

2 avocados
1/2 lemon, juiced
2 tablespoons chopped onion
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons olive oil

Cut the avocados into halves. Remove the seeds, and scoop out the pulp into a small bowl. Use a fork to mash the avocado. Stir in lemon juice, onion, salt, and olive oil. Cover the bowl and refrigerate for 1 hour before serving.

Notes: I wouldn't use the amount of salt called for, but salt to taste. Also, a tablespoon of olive oil works fine, as 2 tablespoons is overkill and makes the guacamole too oily.

[Little Texan]

Bump

[blonddgirl777]

Try this for an orgasmic smile

Mr. Blonddgirl's French Crêpe (or thin pancakes):

In a blender, put;
1 cup Flour
1 1/2 Cup Milk
2 or 3 Eggs
1 Tea spoon Salt
2 Table spoons Melted Butter
2-3 drops Vanilla (optional)

Blend at low speed until smooth and let sit in the frig. for about 1 hour.
In a very hot big frying pan, brush a little bit of butter and spread a THIN layer of that batter... flip until golden.

Spread some "Nutella", put one scoop of ice cream, fold the whole thing, let it melt and... ...!

[rustoffa]

CHEESY BAKED HOMINY GRITS

4 c. boiling water
1 c. hominy grits
1 stick butter
1 8 oz. pkg sharp cheddar cheese
3 eggs
1 tsp. salt (opt.)
1 tbsp. Lawry's seasoned salt

Stir grits into boiling water and cook 5 minutes after mixture returns to boil. Turn off heat, do not remove pan from burner. Add cheese, butter, seasoned salt. Stir until well blended, remove pan from burner. Separate eggs. Beat yolks well, beat whites until very foamy. Stir yolks into hot grits. Fold whites into grits. Place in a lightly greased 9"x12" baking pan. Bake 30 to 40 minutes at 350 degrees.

[MAX]

Originally posted by Little Texan
One of my favorites, easy and delicious!

Crab Bisque

1 (10 3/4 ounce) can cream of asparagus soup
1 (10 3/4 ounce) can cream of mushroom soup
1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup half and half
1/2 pound lump crab meat
1/4 cup sherry

Using a heavy saucepan, combine all of the ingredients and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and allow to simmer for 5 minutes.

I'm sorry bro but I think I have you beaten wid this one...

Garlic Lobster/Crab/Shrimp or Whatever the Fuck You Wanna Use Bisque

6 tablespoons olive oil
Pinch red pepper flakes
1 1/2 cups sliced onions
1/3 cup peeled garlic cloves (about 12 to 14)
3 bay leaves
2 1/2 teaspoon salt - If you can find it, This shit is THE BEST and for EVERYTHING!!!
7 turns freshly ground black pepper
2 quarts chicken stock/broth (I just use the Swanson Boxed or Canned stuff)
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon freshly chopped basil leaves
1 teaspoon freshly chopped thyme leaves
3 cups diced day-old French or Italian bread
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/3 cup coarsely grated fresh Parmesan

Heat 2 tablespoons of the oil in a soup pot over high heat. Add the red pepper flakes, onions, garlic cloves, bay leaves, salt, and pepper. Stir well and saute until the onions are caramelized, for about 7 minutes. (Don't let the onions get too dark; they should be sweet-tasting and a rich golden-brown color.)

Stir in the stock, minced garlic, basil, and thyme, and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer for about 40 minutes.
While the soup is simmering, toss in the cubed day old bread. After the soup has cooked for about 40 minutes, increase the heat to high and whisk in the remaining 2 cups of the bread and the cream, and continue whisking until the bread has disintegrated into the soup, about 10 minutes. Whisk in the Parmesan and remove from the heat. Puree the soup with an immersion blender.

That's for the basic soup. If you want it a bit "sweeter" like a normal bisque, by all means, toss in a bit 'o sherry, cognac or whatever. However, with all of the sweet garlic and carmelized onion flava, I really don't see the point?

Now for the seafood. If you're good enough to make the basic soup/bisque then you're prolly already there regarding the shellfish of your choice.

I will usually steam about 3 or 4 10 oz. Lobster tails, cool them, dice them up and toss in (just to heat up) prior to serving. Same goes with shrimp. Shelled King Crab also works well but that's 99.9% cooked when you buy it so just use common sense.

For added color or festiveness (lol) I've diced red, green and yellow bell pepper before. I've also put corn in it. Again, it's whatever floats your collective boat and being creative never hurts.

This shit is extremely rich and very hearty. However, it's a nice yum yum for a cold fall or winters day.

[Little Texan]

No doubt there are better crab bisque recipes, but I like mine since I'm a lazy cook and it's easy! I'll try yours, though.

[Little Texan]

This is really good...

Beef Mexican Casserole

2 lbs. ground beef
1 pkg. corn tortillas (approx. 12) (use fresh if possible)
1 lg. can ranch-style beans
1 lb. grated cheddar cheese (i use mexican cheese blend)
1 can Ro-Tel tomatoes
1 sm. can green chile peppers
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 1/2 tsp. cumin
1/2 tsp. salt and pepper
1 TB. minced onion flakes
2 TB. chili powder
1/2 tsp. garlic powder

Brown the ground beef and season with minced onion, chili powder, garlic powder, cumin, salt and pepper. Spread 1/2 of tortillas over the bottom of a greased 9x12 inch dish. Layer the meat, beans, cheese, and then put the rest of the tortillas on top of this. Next, add the Ro-Tel tomatoes (chopped) and half of the green chiles (over all of this with the cream of mushroom soup and remaining green chiles). Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes.

[Little Texan]

I just made this this evening...it's easy to make and very good!

Hominy Casserole

2 lg. cans hominy, drained
1 can green chiles, chopped
1 can mushroom soup
1/2 cup milk
10 oz. sharp cheese, grated

Mix in order given. Pour into buttered casserole and bake 1 hour at 350 degrees.

[MAX]

Originally posted by Little Texan
This is really good...

Beef Mexican Casserole

That sounds awesome!!! I'll have to make it. I make something similar, it's like a Mexican Lasagna except I use tortillas for layering instead of noodles. I made it up so I don't have a recipe written down. I'll post it one of these days.

[Flash Bastard]

Originally posted by MAX
That sounds awesome!!! I'll have to make it. I make something similar, it's like a Mexican Lasagna except I use tortillas for layering instead of noodles. I made it up so I don't have a recipe written down. I'll post it one of these days.

A perfect recipe... all the grate elements are there.

[MAX]

Originally posted by Flash Bastard
A perfect recipe... all the grate elements are there.

Thank you my friend and the same applies with you as a human being.

A perfect recipe... all of the grate elements are there.

I love you man and am honored to know you and have you as my friend.

God bless you and shine on forever...

[diamondsgirl]

Originally posted by MAX
Thank you my friend and the same applies with you as a human being.

A perfect recipe... all of the grate elements are there.

I love you man and am honored to know you and have you as my friend.

God bless you and shine on forever...

[tjvhou812]

this shit is good.....

White Clam Sauce

Ingredients:
1/4 cup Olive Oil
1/4 tsp Red Pepper Flakes
10 oz whole Baby Clams
16 oz minced Clams
2 Garlic cloves, minced
1/4 tsp Salt
1/3 cup dry White Wine
3 Tbsp chopped Parsley
4 tsp all-purpose Flour


Directions:
Drain and reserve juice in the cans of minced and whole baby clams. In a medium sauce pan heat oil. Add garlic and sauté for 2 minutes. Stir in flour. Add reserved clam juices, wine, red pepper flakes and salt. Bring to boil and simmer for 10 minutes. Add minced clams, baby clams and parsley. Return to boil, then keep warm while preparing linguine. When linguine is done, pour white clam sauce over top and toss gently and serve. Makes enough for 6 servings.



New England Style

[Little Texan]

Here's recipe I came up with on the fly today at lunch. You might not get to try it for a while because I used some bagged spinach that I bought a few weeks ago to make this! Don't worry, I cooked it pretty thoroughly, so I don't think I'll get sick if it's tainted.

Cheesy Spinach and Mushrooms

1/3 stick butter
1 pkg Baby Spinach
4 oz. Baby Portobello Mushrooms (white will work, also)
1 cup Cheddar Cheese
Salt and Pepper

Melt butter and stirfry spinach and mushrooms until spinach is wilted and mushrooms are soft. Salt and pepper to taste. Remove from skillet and place on a plate. Sprinkle cheese on top and microwave until cheese is melted.

Call me a dumbass or a risktaker, but I hate to see things go to waste! If I get sick, I'm really going to feel like an idiot!

[Little Texan]

Cheesy Spinach and Mushrooms aka E. Coli Delight!

[Little Texan]

I don't know if it would be near as good, but you could try sauteing the mushrooms in butter, then add some canned spinach after thoroughly draining it and squeezing all the water out.

[Little Texan]

I did some experimenting in the kitchen earlier with some canned green beans, and the results were awesome! Take a couple of cans of green beans and drain them. Put them in a seive or a collander and rinse them under some running water for about a minute, and dump them in a pan. Pour in a couple of cans of chicken broth. Turn the burner on high, then while it's heating up, dice up a couple of strips of bacon and dump in there. You can skip this, but I took a can of diced potatoes and rinsed them like the green beans and dumped those in. Heat it to a boil, and put a good bit of salt and some pepper in there, but don't overdo it on the salt. After a few minutes boiling, turn the heat down and simmer it, covered, for several minutes, until the bacon is cooked. Canned green beans are so much better this way!

[EbDawson]

Super Bowl's getting close, time to fire up the grill. Here's one thing I'm gonna do, tried it a few weeks ago and it turned out pretty good, got it off a cooking show here.

Salmon fillets

buy those cedar wood cooking planks, you can get em at most stores and even at Bed, B. and B.

You can cook this in the stove too but I do it on the grill. Soak the plank(s) in water for 1/2 hour, or an hour or so so they don't flare up. Then drizzle a little olive oil on the middle of the planks where the fillets will go.

You can marinate the fillets for a couple of hours if you want but it's not necessary. I use the pre-cut fillets instead of the whole fish deal because I can cram on more meat that way. Salt and pepper on the fillets, generously. Drizzle some olive oil on the top of the fillet. Then take brown sugar and pack it down on top of the fillets, very generously. I know it sounds weird, trust me it's not gonna taste like a piece of candy, it'll taste great. Place those babies on the grill and cook 'em for 30-40 minutes, medium to medium-high heat til the sugar is pretty much all melted away. I did one plank with sliced lemons and herb seasonings and one plank with the brown sugar deal. The Brown sugar one was better. There ya go.

[BottomLine65]

Originally posted by MAX
Here's my fucking recipe gor the day...

1 Six Pack Red Stripe Lager

1 Perkacet

Swallow pain killa with tall, ice cold beeya and forget about it Dave...

Can you sub vikes for percs?

[diamondsgirl]

Originally posted by BottomLine65
Can you sub vikes for percs?

you won't even notice the difference...

[diamondsgirl]

Originally posted by EbDawson
Super Bowl's getting close, time to fire up the grill. Here's one thing I'm gonna do, tried it a few weeks ago and it turned out pretty good, got it off a cooking show here.

Salmon fillets

buy those cedar wood cooking planks, you can get em at most stores and even at Bed, B. and B.

You can cook this in the stove too but I do it on the grill. Soak the plank(s) in water for 1/2 hour, or an hour or so so they don't flare up. Then drizzle a little olive oil on the middle of the planks where the fillets will go.

You can marinate the fillets for a couple of hours if you want but it's not necessary. I use the pre-cut fillets instead of the whole fish deal because I can cram on more meat that way. Salt and pepper on the fillets, generously. Drizzle some olive oil on the top of the fillet. Then take brown sugar and pack it down on top of the fillets, very generously. I know it sounds weird, trust me it's not gonna taste like a piece of candy, it'll taste great. Place those babies on the grill and cook 'em for 30-40 minutes, medium to medium-high heat til the sugar is pretty much all melted away. I did one plank with sliced lemons and herb seasonings and one plank with the brown sugar deal. The Brown sugar one was better. There ya go.

This sounds yummy! I am going to try this as well.

I have been mixing dijon mustard with a little mayo and spreading it on the fillets and then sprinkling lemon over them. Its pretty gooood.

[blonddgirl777]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
This sounds yummy! I am going to try this as well.

I have been mixing dijon mustard with a little mayo and spreading it on the fillets and then sprinkling lemon over them. Its pretty gooood.

The planks and this... seems very good... I will certainly try it!

Now try this;

Marinate your salmon in 1/2 part soy sauce, 1/2 part maple syrup with sesame seeds,
Then cook it in the oven (with the same marinade)...
Fast and delicious!

Or;

Marinate the salmon filets in Italian (non-creamy) vinaigrette,
Throw the vinaigrette away after marinating,
Place salmon on oiled pan,
Make a mixture;
- Grated Cheddar cheese
- Sour Creme
- Green Onions
- Salt, pepper and your favorite herbs...
Put that mixture on the filets
Oven cook...
Very good too!

[BottomLine65]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
you won't even notice the difference...

Just being funny...

[BottomLine65]

Jersey Shore Pain-Relief Recipe

1) 20-24 oz. glass or cup
Fill it with ice
Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum (you be the judge of how much, half pint will do it!).
Regular or Diet Dr. Pepper
Stir gentlly, not too much.
Take one or one and a half #5 perc or vike (depending on tolerance).
Very relaxing and will result in a good 2-4 hour nap.
Great for the Summer time.

[BottomLine65]

Originally posted by MAX
Hey,

I'm sure we've prolly had one of these before but let's make this one a keepa. The reason that I thought of this is cos number one, I fucking love to cook. Number two, things are a bit slow in Non at the moment. Number three tis' that over the yeeyas I've both given and received so many stellar recipes from fellow posters and it's been stellar.

In fact, I just made a stellar dessert today that another fellow poster sent me and it would be killer to share such culinary skills from around the globe.

Seriously, I'll also be happy to answer anyone's questions as well. I'm not a chef (although I play one on tv. lol) but I cook everything from homemade soups from scratch, BBQ'ing the perfect Lobster tail, doctoring up a grilled cheese sammich, using the right beeya to pre-cook brats prior to grilling and peparing a five star dinna for snotty company. Also, include any drink recipes as well.

Again, I'll love this thread cos I can start saving my recipes in it and not have to look all ova the computer, print them from local news, etc.

I'll start posting recipes tomorrow and I hope that many of y'all will as well.

Muchas Gracias.

Too Max and all:
Great fucking post and recipes!
Thank you...

[Little Texan]

Anyone have any good recipes for Buffalo/Hot Chicken Wings, and any good Super Bowl recipes? We're having a Super Bowl party next Sunday at my mom's, and I need some food ideas.