The World's STUPIDEST Lyrics

[academic punk]

Could somebody tell me what the fuck is "Someone left the cake out in the rain" ("MacArthur Park") all about???

Here's the thread for us to post what we consider some of the world's crappest, most nonsensical lyrics. Here's another good example:

"If there's a bustle in your hedgerow
Don't be alarmed now
It's just a spring-clean for thr May Queen"

uh....riiiiiiiiight...

But here's the rules: they can't be CONSCIOUSLY stupid lyrics. These have to be examples of the lyricists ineptitude, or thinking that they're "really writing something deeeep, man", or just a bad stretch at a rhyme scheme...

of course the obligatory "Only time will tell if we stand the test of time" does not even need mentioning.

Even though I just did...

[academic punk]

Christ! They're even worse than I realised!

Spring was never waiting for us, girl
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in the dance
Between the parted pages and were pressed
In love's hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants (WTF???)

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

I recall the yellow cotton dress
Foaming like a wave
On the ground around your knees
The birds, like tender babies in your hands
And the old men playing checkers by the trees

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

[break]

There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it
I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one

I will take my life into my hands and I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes and I will lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers through the sky
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
I'll be thinking of you
And wondering why

[extended break]

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!
Oh, no
No, no
Oh no!!

[The Scatologist]

Up For Breakfast?

Hell any Van Hagar really.....

[Dave's Bitch]

only time will tell if we stand the test of time

[Big Fat Sammy]

"If there's a bustle in your hedgerow
Don't be alarmed now
It's just a spring-clean for thr May Queen"


That makes sense when you realize what "Stairway To Heaven" is actually about.

I heard that Robert Plant is singing to a young girl, comforting her as she is concerned about getting her first period.

Thats what I heard anyway...

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by The Scatologist
Up For Breakfast?

Hell any Van Hagar really.....

you beat me to it... you FUCKER

[Matt White]

Originally posted by Big Fat Sammy
"If there's a bustle in your hedgerow
Don't be alarmed now
It's just a spring-clean for thr May Queen"


That makes sense when you realize what "Stairway To Heaven" is actually about.

I heard that Robert Plant is singing to a young girl, comforting her as she is concerned about getting her first period.

Thats what I heard anyway...

LOL I think it's a little bit deeper than that BFS!!!

The "May Queen"? Look up some British Lit!

It might seem obscure, but dig a little deeper.....and realize PLANT was STONED to the BONE when he wrote it.

[Ally_Kat]

random definition: The May Queen is a girl (usually a teenage girl from a specific school year) who is selected to ride at the front of a parade for May Day celebrations. She wears a gown and usually a tiara or crown. Her duty is to begin the May Day celebrations.

[Mr Badguy]

"Read my body" by Kiss from `89s "Hot in the shade".

I won`t bore you with them all but the chorus (which rips off "Pour dome sugar on me") goes:

Read my body
Are the letters big enough
Read my body
Do you like the book of my love
Read my body
Turn the page, get to the good stuff

On and on it goes until the fade when Paul Stanley, obviously about to cream himself, bawls over the chorus:

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

The stupidest cornball shit ever.

[blueturk]

"Don't Let Him Go" by REO Speedwagon. This is a guy singing this shit! If Kevin Cronin qualifies as a male, that is...

So you figure that you've got him all figured out
He's a sweet talkin stud
Who can melt a girl's heart with his pout
He's the kind of lover that the ladies dream about

He's got plenty of cash
He's got plenty of friends
He drives women wild
Then he drives off in a mercedes-benz
He's got a long wick with a flame at both ends
He's hot

But don't let him go
Just give him a chance to grow
Take it easy, take it slow
And don't let him go

He makes you so angry
He makes you so sore
The weight may be worth it
But how can you wait anymore
When you're wonderin what you're waitin for
Baby I don't know

[monkeythe]

"I'm hot
sticky sweet
from my head
to my feet"
- Def Leppard

Is this song about Joe Elliot's sweaty feet?

[Panamark]

I love those lyrics from Stairway.. Am I the only one that actually
sees meaning in them ??

That whole verse to me is saying if you notice shit going down, dont
worry too much. In the grander scheme you can always make it good..

(Actually my interpretation is a lot deeper than that, but thats the
condensed version)

Ive got a good example, "Blinded by the light" written by Springsteen
and performed by Manfred Mann

Blinded by the light
Wrapped up like a douche
another runner in the night ??
or some crap...

[academic punk]

Originally posted by Panamark
I love those lyrics from Stairway.. Am I the only one that actually
sees meaning in them ??

That whole verse to me is saying if you notice shit going down, dont
worry too much. In the grander scheme you can always make it good..

(Actually my interpretation is a lot deeper than that, but thats the
condensed version)

That actually DOES sound legit, but since so did the menstruation hypothesis, I'm still in the camp that Plant was stoned off his gourd when he wrote it, and was convinced that he was "really writing some deep shit here, maaaaan".

Originally posted by Panamark


Ive got a good example, "Blinded by the light" written by Springsteen
and performed by Manfred Mann

Blinded by the light
Wrapped up like a douche
another runner in the night ??
or some crap...

Actually, Bruce's original version the lyric was "Cut loose like a Deuce": as in Deuce Coupe, as in tearing down the highway in your car. Somehow or other Manfred Mann changed this to "douche". Springsteen recently commented on his feelings towards the alteration:

"My version, I was talking about a car, like in a Beach Boys song. Thier version, for some reason they were talking about a feminine hygiene product, like in a Tampax commercial. My version went nowhere. Their version went to #1. The public has spoken."

[academic punk]

...I just realized the theme of my last post had a them regarding menstruation.

At last, I've found the common link between "Stairway to Heaven" and "Blinded by the Light". Who'd've thunk it?

And so since we ARE on this theme, allow me to cite a very GOOD menstruation reference:

"And I'm trying to make some girl
But she tells me, Baby, ya better come back
Maybe next week
'Cause you see, I'm on a losing streak"

- Jagger/Richards "Satisfaction"

[FORD]

We all know the REAL meaning of "Stairway to Heaven" can only be heard backwards.

[Keeyth]

Where do you find these sites FORD??

[FORD]

Originally posted by Keeyth
Where do you find these sites FORD??

Satan sends me the links.

[academic punk]

Originally posted by FORD
Satan sends me the links.

Junior sends you links to Zep websites??!?

...here he is, doing all this for you, trying to be your friend, and you continually bash him on and on. That's gotta hurt his feelings y'know...

[The Scatologist]

Frantic tick tick tick tick tick tick tock

[DLR_EngineRoom]

Originally posted by The Scatologist
Up For Breakfast?

Hell any Van Hagar really.....

Amen......damned straight!

Oh and add Alanis 'look-how-nonchalantly-artistic-I-can-be' Morrisette.

[The Scatologist]

LOL I was looking at some lyrics recently and came across a real gem.


Sometimes i'm just wet with confusion - Clockwork Toy, The Loudness

[Dave's Bitch]

I want to be just as close as the holy ghost is - Bed of Roses,JBJ

wtf does that mean?

[Dave's Bitch]

Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from reality-
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
I’m just a poor boy,i need no sympathy-
Because I’m easy come,easy go,
A little high,little low,
Anyway the wind blows,doesn’t really matter to me,
To me

from fucking rhapsody.i hate that song and all the lyrics are stupid

[The Scatologist]

You hate that song cause you like Van Hagar.

[LoungeMachine]

" You bend your words just like Yuri Geller's spoons"

- Toad The Wet Sprocket

[LoungeMachine]

" You fit your mind, into smaller, and smaller Jars"

- The Posies

[LoungeMachine]

" Excuse me, while I kiss this Guy"

- Jimi Hendrix

[zeronumber]

Originally posted by Sammy's Bitch
Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from reality-
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
I’m just a poor boy,i need no sympathy-
Because I’m easy come,easy go,
A little high,little low,
Anyway the wind blows,doesn’t really matter to me,
To me

from fucking rhapsody.i hate that song and all the lyrics are stupid

WTF? Are you retarded or something? I'm sorry, frankly, I just lost any and all respect for you. You just trashed, probably the greatest composition ever created by man in the 20th century, if not all time, by one of the greatest bands of all time.

What's stupid about it? Haven't you ever heard of metaphors?

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by zeronumber
WTF? Are you retarded or something? I'm sorry, frankly, I just lost any and all respect for you. You just trashed, probably the greatest composition ever created by man in the 20th century, if not all time, by one of the greatest bands of all time.

What's stupid about it? Haven't you ever heard of metaphors?

There is no need to call her names dumbass...
everyone has there own opinions...
oh wait this is coming from someone who likes spammy Hagar

[zeronumber]

Anyway, here are some stupid lyrics.

"Blame it on the rain..." MV...beyond retarded, seriously, that's the best you can come up with lip syncers?

"That don't impress me much" - Shania Twain...and frankly, your grammar "doesn't" impress me either, you high mantainace bitch...

"I want you to want me...I need you to need me...I'd love you to love me, I'm begging you to beg me"...Cheap trick...Now, I'm a fan of cheap trick, and I admit to liking this song...but these are fucking weak ass lyrics, you went from wanting, to needing, to begging? wtf?

"Ocean Man, take me by the hand back into the land, that you understand"- Ween...I'm sorry, but I don't want any man, taking me by the hand...anywere, even if I was a blind that needed to go to the bathroom. And to top off this level of fagatry, it was featured in the Spongebob squarepants soundtrack.

"It must of been love...but it's over now" Must of been? were you not there?

"All your favorite tv shows, have gone out the window"...No asshole, they didn't go out the window, they fucking got canceled.

[zeronumber]

Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
There is no need to call her names dumbass...
everyone has there own opinions...
oh wait this is coming from someone who likes spammy Hagar

Yeah, preaching to another person who has the name "Sammy's bitch"
And what the hell are you bothering me for? don't you got sheep to spank over at the pen or something?

[LoungeMachine]

Originally posted by zeronumber
Anyway, here are some stupid lyrics.

"Blame it on the rain..." MV...beyond retarded, seriously, that's the best you can come up with lip syncers?

"That don't impress me much" - Shania Twain...and frankly, your grammar "doesn't" impress me either, you high mantainace bitch...

"I want you to want me...I need you to need me...I'd love you to love me, I'm begging you to beg me"...Cheap trick...Now, I'm a fan of cheap trick, and I admit to liking this song...but these are fucking weak ass lyrics, you went from wanting, to needing, to begging? wtf?

"Ocean Man, take me by the hand back into the land, that you understand"- Ween...I'm sorry, but I don't want any man, taking me by the hand...anywere, even if I was a blind that needed to go to the bathroom. And to top off this level of fagatry, it was featured in the Spongebob squarepants soundtrack.

"It must of been love...but it's over now" Must of been? were you not there?

"All your favorite tv shows, have gone out the window"...No asshole, they didn't go out the window, they fucking got canceled.

Just HOW CLOSE did you live to those power lines growing up?

[zeronumber]

Originally posted by LoungeMachine
Just HOW CLOSE did you live to those power lines growing up?

Pardon?:confused:

[academic punk]

Re: "That don't impress me much"...

I'm not a fan of the song, but come on, you're going to accuse a pop/rock tune of having poor grammar??? Hello, "I Can't get No satisfaction"? "It Ain't Me"? Rock/pop music is BUILT on bad grammar (not bad english, john waite blows chunks)

Whe was the last time William Safire had a hit single, schmuck??

[fryingdutchman]

Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
There is no need to call her names dumbass...
everyone has there own opinions...
oh wait this is coming from someone who likes spammy Hagar

With all due respect Canadiandlrgirl, and you know I love ya....but Sammy's bitch is pretty fucking stupid on this one. First of all, to trash lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody, or "rhapsody" as she calls it, shows that she has no clue.

But if that's not enough, let's take this little instance...same thread....several posts prior....

academic punk said this...

Originally posted by academic punk

of course the obligatory "Only time will tell if we stand the test of time" does not even need mentioning.

And Sammy's Bitch, about 3 or 4 posts later, comes up with (DRUM ROLL PLEASE.......)

Originally posted by Sammy's Bitch
only time will tell if we stand the test of time

Game. Set. Match.

[fryingdutchman]

Originally posted by LoungeMachine
" Excuse me, while I kiss this Guy"

- Jimi Hendrix

I thought that was Jesterstar's lyric??

Isn't he hungry for the cock?

[zeronumber]

Originally posted by academic punk
Re: "That don't impress me much"...

I'm not a fan of the song, but come on, you're going to accuse a pop/rock tune of having poor grammar??? Hello, "I Can't get No satisfaction"? "It Ain't Me"? Rock/pop music is BUILT on bad grammar (not bad english, john waite blows chunks)

Whe was the last time William Safire had a hit single, schmuck??

Ok, I'm not going to go over the grammar of all of rock and roll and songs, but think about it when you read the lyrics of this song....
She doesn't care if you're brad pitt, have a nice car, or got a lot of money, "That don't impress me much", seriously, who are you to go and judge men out there for not being enough to satisfy, when you have weak ass grammar?

According to Shania "Now don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're all right, but that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night"

Basically, the song is about how she's not impressed by anything, except a good fuck. You can be homeless, homely, and claim the train is your "ride", and she wouldn't care, because all she cares about is getting slammed. And frankly, she's better off with some homeless dude who is a nimfo, because with grammar like that, she won't be impressing anybody either.

It's a stupid song, with stupid lyrics, and I stand by that, 'kay douche?

[zeronumber]

Originally posted by fryingdutchman
With all due respect Canadiandlrgirl, and you know I love ya....but Sammy's bitch is pretty fucking stupid on this one. First of all, to trash lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody, or "rhapsody" as she calls it, shows that she has no clue.

But if that's not enough, let's take this little instance...same thread....several posts prior....

academic punk said this...




And Sammy's Bitch, about 3 or 4 posts later, comes up with (DRUM ROLL PLEASE.......)




Game. Set. Match.

You forgot 2 words...

DOUBLE OWNAGE, you put two members in their place, at the same time. My hat goes off to you.

[Keeyth]

Originally posted by zeronumber



Basically, the song is about how she's not impressed by anything, except a good fuck. You can be homeless, homely, and claim the train is your "ride", and she wouldn't care, because all she cares about is getting slammed.

My kind of girl!

[Keeyth]

And she laughed all the way to the bank with that song too...