SHEEP PEN Rules & Staff
WHAT IS THE SHEEP PEN??
Good question. The SHEEP PEN began as a simple thread in our Main VH/DLR Discussion forum on July 29 2004. It was begun by myself (RIKK) and another poster named MAX, who modded the Main at the time. Our idea was very simple...we wanted a thread in which we could organize, list and mock the giant number of "sheep" that were assaulting our site. These sheep were inspired by that summer's gigantic failure of a VAN HAGAR "reunion" tour...they thought they were victorious in their fight to prove which singer is preferred...so they thought attacking a Roth site was a fun way to spend their time. The posters at this site and (I'd like to think) the SHEEP PEN staff proved to the dumb 5150 fans that we can outwit them, out-argue them and make them look very stupid. Face it, if you think a lyric such as "You can always have trust in me because my heart will always be yours honestly" should even be mentioned in the same write-up as "Thought you'd never miss me till I got a fat city address", then your brain is short-circuiting and you deserve all the abuse the creative folks at this-here website can handle. Many of these Hagar-ites ran out of our site after two days, often with lame apologies or real anger from the verbal ass-whooping they had just received. Plainly, the SHEEP PEN worked. And guess what? Even after the tour fell apart with Eddie attempting to assault Sammy on-stage, the PEN stayed alive...because the frustrated "sheep" kept coming. But even more, because the SHEEP PEN Enforcers kept growing and getting better at their jobs.
The SHEEP PEN has seen its ups and downs. During a few periods in its history, the thread was bogged down in soap opera fighting bullshit. And that drama is still there to read in the original thread. In fact, the original thread is still here in this forum...right here:
http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/showt...0&pagenumber=1
Basically, the SHEEP PEN is a place in which a giant gang of hardcore Rothtards and VH fans spread the word about the great Diamond David Lee Roth, and we do this by putting the very stupid Sammy Hagar fans in their places by...basically...beating the shit out of them.
Furthermore, the SHEEP PEN is a way of life. It is a place where the wit of some of our funniest and more insane posters comes together. It is a place in which some of our most fun and controversial threads and posts comes together. This definitely isn't the FAMILY HOUR section of our fine website, though we probably don't have one...
WHAT IS A SHEEP?
I'll let VH/DLR online legend FORD answer this one, as he coined the term years ago:
Sheep are blind followers. The Van Hagar sheep, for example, heard from Eddie that 5150 was the best music they ever made, and that they "were a real band now". And so the sheep repeated this mantra to themselves, despire the fact that anyone with even ONE functioning ear knew otherwise. The worst of the sheep have sat through Van Hagar, the Van Halen reunion of 1996, the VDIII period, the attempted 2000 reunion, 5 years of Eddie exile, and finally this joke of a Van Hagar reunion which even Sammy now says was a disaster...and STILL don't think Eddie can do any wrong.
WHAT CAN I FIND IN THE SHEEP PEN FORUM?
If you post down here, you're likely to find some of our most notorious, famous, craziest and most popular posters frequenting threads such as the classic SHEEP PEN (the original SHEEP PEN thread and still a great hang-out for its current Admins), NATRA & RIKK'S BAR (a hangout thread where you can discuss sports, sex, sheep or almost anything else you like),THE SHEEP PEN PRON THREAD (a thread full of naked women for men without shame) and other classic threads. There are (usually) weekly inductions for that week's most repulsive sheep, as well as "re-visited" threads written by me, honoring classic VAN HALEN or Dave albums.
SO THE SHEEP PEN WENT FROM A THREAD TO A FORUM?
On August 2 2005, Rotharmy Webmaster Mezro created a new forum for me to run: The Sheep Pen! This was a great honor, both for me and for the SHEEP PEN staff. And needless to say, we didn't want to let him down. So we feel we've created a forum full of interesting threads and truly organized sheep-bashing. What does this all mean? Well, ladies and gentlemen, it means you should always be trying to create high-calibre threads for this amazing web site. For, if your idea is good enough, you never know where it may lead!
CAN ANYONE START THREADS IN THE SHEEP PEN FORUM?
Absolutely. THE SHEEP PEN! forum is a place where all of our Rothtards can get creative about their love of Roth, hatred for Sammy and even show off their ability to be witty, silly or outlandish. A lot is tolerated (though, of course, not everything).
CAN SHEEP START THREADS IN THE SHEEP PEN FORUM?
Absolutely. In fact, we invite them to. We love arguing with sheep and making them feel stupid by conning them into posting the lyrics of LOVE WALKS IN until they themselves realize that Sammy is a horrible songwriter. In fact, I don't just invite sheep to post in this forum or start pro-Sammy threads...I DARE THEM TO!
WHO IS ALAN THE PANTHER?
ALAN THE PANTHER is the greatest of all the panthers. If you want to start an appreciation thread to the great ALAN THE PANTHER, you are always invited to.
SHOULD ALL SAMMY HAGAR FANS AT THIS SITE BE ATTACKED? AND IS SOMEONE A SHEEP IF HE/SHE MAKES EVEN A SMALL NEGATIVE COMMENT ABOUT DAVE?
Not quite. This site is grounded in free speech. We love to destroy trouble-makers, but we also like to encourage good debate. If you have a constructive criticism to make about Dave (e.g. "Dave didn't play one solo song at his concert and I was let down"), by all means start a thread about it and trust in the fact that you won't be attacked. In fact, you can start that thread in our Main VH/DLR Discussion forum or here, if you like. Also, if you are a giant fan of Dave but happen to enjoy some of the music of VAN HAGAR...well, this won't be encouraged, but you won't be attacked for it. At least not by the SHEEP PEN staff. The SHEEP PEN is reserved for those idiots that like to come to our site and either declare that Dave sucks OR declare that Sammy is better than or equal to Dave. If you think either thing, you are not a Dave fan and shouldn't be at this site. But we LOVE to argue with you anyway...
WHAT IS NOT TOLERATED IN THE SHEEP PEN FORUM?
Soap-opera bullshit. If I see people getting into useless soap opera fights that have nothing to do with the SHEEP PEN or even the Rotharmy, I may move the threads to the DUMP. If a thread is truly offensive in nature, with confidential information being revealed, racial abuse, etc., there may be further ramifications. Otherwise, as long as you fight with brass knuckles but no machetes, it's all good. This is allowed to be a controversial forum...just not an out-of-control forum. I won't tolerate bullshit from anyone...including SHEEP PEN ADMINS. Our Webmasters and Moderators work hard to keep this site enjoyable for everyone that isn't a moron. So the fucked-up agendas of one or two trouble-makers will not be treated with patience.
WHAT DOES ONE HAVE TO DO TO BE ADDED TO THE SHEEP PEN ADMINISTRATION STAFF?
First off, you have to be a well-respected member of the site...often a longtime poster or a good contributor with a sharp wit. We've always enjoyed picking various DLR fans from various places in the world with differing ways of dealing with sheep, different political backgrounds, etc. This makes the SHEEP PEN Administration Staff a varied collective. We are often looking for new ADMINS. If you're interested in the job, post in the forum a lot. I can't guarantee that you'll be offered the job, but you may be at some point if you post a lot and are seen as: a) funny... b) effective at neutering sheep. Do not PM me and ask me for an Admin job if you have 50 posts to your name.
WHO IS CURRENTLY A SHEEP PEN ADMINISTRATOR?
RIKK
RIKK is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. His friendliness knows no bounds. His caring and brush-off nature is legendary in these parts. Well-respected and highly-intellectual poster VH LINKS SUCKS once called him: "Maybe the nicest person I've ever come across on the internet and my best friend in real life. I can't believe how well we've always gotten along. He is so great, it just makes me so happy thinking about how good we've been for each other. Just a fantastic human being that I can't envision anyone having a problem with." RIKK currently resides in Iwo Jima and enjoys Sugar-Free Rice Krispie Treats. He is Head Priest of the Church of ALAN THE PANTHER, the greatest of all the panthers. He is also a DUMP MEISTER and a solid believer in the school of GRIMSDALE, SIR FLAPPO, REV, GOLDEN AWE, FIGS, CATO, MR. BADGUY and the other DMs. He was also recently promoted to Moderator, and now Mods the SHEEP PEN forum with glee and ever-inflated ego. Of course, RIKK has been criticized in recent times for not spending as much time at the Army (and in the Pen) as he used to. In fact, there have been rumblings of a mutiny to overthrow him. "Fuck them," he smiles. "Truth is, there is no power to overthrow." But what happened, RIKK? Why are you so scarce these days? "Because the Pen seems to run itself quite well. I still come in and do the rounds and mod shit and move shit and do nasty edits where I shouldn't." Shouldn't you quit? "I would, y'know...but that would make BOB too happy. And I hate him so goddamn much!"
MATT WHITE
MATT WHITE is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. He began swimming when he was seventeen and is currently a world class swimmer and athlete. He is also the inventer of the two-second handjob and has killed four people with a hammer. His other PEN members praise him...BILL LUMBERGH: "When I think of MATT WHITE, I think of how much one person can hate another sorry sack of shit. Fuck him and his argumentative bullshit." BUENO BOB: "MATT is so fucking argumentative that it makes me so angry. I get so mad I want to hit him with a pool cue until he's dead and then hit him some more. I need fruit roll-ups and my dick is itchy. Larg!!" MATT currently resides on SHANNON DOHERTY's front lawn and is hoping to "tell her off" for quitting SCARE TACTICS when she was at her career peak. He is the coiner of the phrase: "Bring me the head of STEPHEN BALDWIN." He also digs the early years of the Osmonds and is looking to purchase a used copy of their box set. He was also recently added to the Moderator staff, where he oversees the This Is Gear Street forum with DON COREONE.
BILL LUMBERGH
BILL LUMBERGH is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. He is unique among the SHEEP PEN Administration Staff in that he is the only open homosexual. BILL: "I love being gay. I feel so strong being with another man that it inspires me to go out and buy bagels. I love water sports. It makes me feel like I'm inside another man." BILL began collecting GEORGE MICHAEL memorabilia in the mid-80s and followed GEORGE's early concert career from arena to arena as a Whamhead. BUENO BOB: "I hate BILL LUMBERGH. There are sorry sons of bitches, and then there's BILL. When he tries to convince me that GEORGE MICHAEL has even half the talent BOY GEORGE has, I want to vomit up the secretions of the three wives I ate out last night."BILL currently resides in Dover, Delaware and is looking for work for the next three months until MICHAEL-ATHON 2005 this summer, after which he expects to spend the Fall in jail for jumping on George during his Q&A session at the Delaware convention. His greatest trait is that he never goes on breaks from the Army. He's always around...24 hours a day, 7 days a week...in stereo. "I'm always here," BILL says, "because my children aren't as important to me as the site. I have my priorities set right...I post here instead of looking after my kids." Well done, BILL!
NICK D FRESH
NICK D FRESH is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. He is a trouble-making buffoon that only joined the SHEEP PEN because RIKK was intending to PM the well-respected poster DIAMOND DEN to offer him the gig but he sent the PM to NICK instead. NICK is not very intelligent and he didn't understand why the PM was addressed to DIAMOND D. He assumed that the "DIAMOND D" greeting was RIKK's playful way of substituting the word "DIAMOND" for "NICK", which people would only do if discussing the jewel-like qualities of the speedcore music of NICK CARTER. NICK repsonded enthusiastically with the following PM to RIKK: "Fuck yes! I have nothing else in my life to look forward to. It's so empty and black. In fact, I was about to kill myself until you offered me this job, RIKK." RIKK took pity on the pool fool and gave him the job, though what he does around here, we don't know. His dick is shrinking and he has more friends than Ted Bundy did just moments before his execution. NICK currently resides in Peking and eats two gerbils a day. He's an aerobics trainer every other week. He also is in love with ALBERT, the sort-of mascot of the Rotharmy. They plan to have kids one day, unlike BILL LUMBERGH.
BUENO BOB
BUENO BOB is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. GARY COLEMAN once said of him: "Dat mudda is fat! So fukkin' fat!!" ALAN THICKE agrees: "The Army is a great place. But BUENO BOB is the greatest thing about it. Without him, the place would be shit." "I consider myself a sexual man," BOB says. "My sexual prowess knows no bounds. I wake up in the morning and play with my lightsaber. Then, while I'm showering (every four mornings), I close my eyes, use the 'force', and play with my lightsaber again. I like watching recent films with cinema greats like KIRK CAMERON or TRACEY GOLD, and then I begin to play with my lightsaber. It goes on for hours...the perfect circle. Who's scruffy looking? Not this piece of Sith. You know what? Fuck you!" ALAN THE PANTHER once said of BUENO BOB: "Larg! I hate BUENO BOB. There are sorry sons of bitches, and then there's BOB." BOB has many hates in his life. One is STAR WARS and the other is sheep. But he joined the SHEEP PEN because he thought we like to make fun of real farm sheep...you know, the kind with real wool and everything. BOB's IQ was last reported at 68. He currently resides in JAKE'S DINER out on ROUTE 64 by GRAHAM'S WORMS AND AMMO. BOB is a Dark Lord of the Sith and the apprentice of the Emperor, the egotistical "tit" RIKK.
POOP BOY
TJVHOU812 is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. Known to his friends and many lovers as POOP BOY, he joined the Army in the summer and was actually a SHEEP OF THE WEEK. His incessant love of all things SAMMY HAGAR, plus his knows-no-bounds stupidity made him a quick target of RIKK and his friends' "pick-on-the-smaller-person" level of fighting. RIKK: "I like to pick on people I can beat because that's the kind of integrity I possess. I also like kicking people when they're down. That's really what the Pen is all about...beating the stupid because they can't really fight back." For some reason, the PEN gang realized that POOP BOY was really one of them, and (demonstrating their insanity) they decided to have him join the Administration Staff. NICK: "POOP BOY joining the Pen was probably the greatest day of my life." DLR7884: "When I joined the Pen, POOP BOY was there to greet me with open arms. It was so fucking gay and annoying that I hit him until he bled and was crying. Then I hit him again and again until he stopped making any noise. And then I hit him some more. I hate him." POOP BOY says of his Pen status: "Being in the PEN is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. It is so great that sometimes at night, I just can't believe my luck. My life is complete, and it's all because of the SHEEP PEN. Wow...I am just so happy, I can tell you. Gosh." POOP BOY currently resides in Nashville and is working on his second album, I Think I'll Get Drunk and Then Go Home and Hit Her.
DLR7884
DLR7884 is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. He is also the picture of non-judgmental, calm and loving behavior. "I am at one with the world. My karma is with the Lord, and I cannot accept that there is not good in every single soul I come across. I like to look for the good in everybody. If someone insults me, I say, 'Hey, let's work this out, brother. I love you like I love all my brothers around the world.'" Ever since joining the Pen, he has had major issues with the way Pen staff get involved in fights at every step of the way. He wants RIKK to know that fighting is not the way to solve the ARMY's problems. DLR7884: "I can't believe how much fighting goes on. And I want no part of it. I'm here to help people." DLR7884 resides in Detroit where he leads an idyllic country life. He also (until recently) was the mentor of SAMMY'S BITCH (who is now DAVE'S BITCH). But the cunt talked back to him and he's done with her. "She will pay," he promises, clenching his fists and thinking of the young 15-year-old girl.
REVERBERATOR
REVERBERATOR is a cunt. He also is a coch. He was born in 1908, a year he remembers well. "That was my seventeenth year on Earth," he declares, "and also the year I was born. I was born hard and I took it upon myself to feast on someone else's afterbirth." After his birth, REVERBERATOR was choked to death by the nurse using another baby's fresh umbillical cord. His death shocked millions, and he's still pissed off by it. This is why he became a detective. "I became a detective because I knew I could get away with my lifestyle then. I love fucking birds, usually married ones. And they love my gun. They like touching it. They squeeze my love juice until the panzers roll in." When we did our interview with REVERBERATOR, he was hard. He was thinking about the Dump and how great it is. "Wank alert," however, was his only comment. REV is pleased with his new position as a PEN ADMIN and is ready to hurt sheep. FLAPPO sent his congratulations in the form of a telegram: "You're an idiot, REVERBERATOR." And GRIMSDALE had no comment except to smile and throw a few crisps in his mouth while picking his nose. All is well. I think I'm going to make a nice salad. PHIL THE STALKER is sending REV a telegram soon, letting him know what a coch he is.
DAVID FLAMMA
DAVID FLAMMA is our newest poster that is a Pen Admin and is already notorious for being well-loved by ex-Pen Admins. "I don't like bullshit," he offers. "When I read that mighty dick RIKK mouthing off at someone, I get bored and roll my eyes. I tell him to cool it before it destroys us all." RIKK points out: "Having more Pen Admins is just a means by which to win more fights. Majority rules, man." RIKK's mental instability is becoming notorious among the Pen Admins...MATT WHITE: "RIKK pm'd me last week and asked me if Carl was coming to the Pen gathering we've been proposing for maybe six or seven years. I had to explain to him again and again that Carl is just a joke character in a little fun sketch we use called the DEATH SQUAD. We like to post pictures of Leatherface from TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE...RIKK actually tells me that he PM's Carl time to time. Thank god we got FLAMMA in because he reports to the rest of us." "I basically talk a lot to RIKK and he tells me who to go after because that's how all the Pen Admins fight," FLAMMA beams. "But seriously, no...the Pen Admins don't actually conspire on who to fight. What makes it beautiful is that we all often go after various people without consultation or reason...but at the end of the day we're all fucking idiots." FLAMMA is a huge fan of Beatrix Potter, Menudo, Lizzy Borden (the killer, not the band) and scratching his ass while taking a shit without getting his hands dirty. "Works every time," he smiles proudly.
So...post often. Enjoy yourself. Be creative. And most of all...have fun.
For this is THE FUCKING SHEEP PEN!.
