INTERVIEW:
PINK STËËL
by kittenpants
With help from Corn Mo
I first saw Pink Steel perform at Cathy Cervenka's "Love Bites" Valentines Day show. For me it was love at first bite, as soon as they took the stage. I mean, how can you not fall for the self-proclaimed "Pink and Black Bareback Attack"? Especially when they perform their tribute to Lord of the Rings (about a giant gay metal robot called "the Frodonator")? Seriously? It's impossible not to adore them.
They graciously agreed to be part of this year's kittenpants birthday celebration, opening for Corn Mo and Double Dong + Wyld Lixx. After meeting them, I had to know more.
According to their bio, "In 1983, Udo Von DüYü met PINK STËËL vocalist Hanson Jobb in a smoky Bremen bathhouse/nightclub, where Udo was recovering after his lover left him for a cantaloupe with a hole cut in it. Hanson, who had just finished "chatting" in the back room with several Nigerian wrestlers, recognized the forlorn Von DüYü from their high school swim team."
kp: What were your thoughts upon first meeting? Did you know you were gay metal soulmates?
UV: I think we realized we were gay metal soulmates the minute we discovered we both liked cock. That was good for bonding.
HJ: Lets just say that had I not awoken from my Amyl nitrate popper induced blackout at that exact moment there would be no Pink Steel. K?
UV: But do not understand us wrongly! We have never "gotten together". We have been playing together so long...it would just be weird. It would be like having sex with my brother. Which I have NOT done!
HJ: I have had sex with his brother and it was weird, trust me.
kp: Is "A sausage man" really that hard to find?
HJ: Not as hard as a pickle man, or worse yet a "gherkin man".
UV: You are misunderstand our English. We mean to say that a "sausage man" is always hard when you do find him! It is true!
kp: What's Halford like in the sack?
UV: Difficult to say, unless you do have one of those medical filament-cameras.
HJ: Halford struggled a lot when first placed in the sack. After he burned up all of his oxygen he calmed down.
kp: Have you heard the ATOM + HIS PACKAGE song, "Hats off to Halford"?
UV: No, but have they heard our song, "Jeans off for Gene Simmons"?
HJ: Halford should always wear a hat cuz he is the bald.
kp: If you were able to keep a bass player, any famous ones you'd be interested in touring with? Nikki Sixx is kinda hot, no?
UV: Ah, but did you know that he is also GAY? It is true! Darling Nikki only dates the strippers for the fashion tips!
HJ: As Nikki Sixx is to hot, Geddy Lee is to Scorcho!