Neutrals left disappointed as Ronaldo fails to cry
June 16, 2010 | Posted by John Foster | 0 comments
Ivory Coast 0 – 0 Portugal
Yersterday’s eagerly-anticipated Group G clash between the Ivory Coast and Portugal in Port Elizabeth did not live up to its billing, as both sides nullified one another as attacking forces, and repugnant superstar Cristiano Ronaldo failed to cry like a big baby, to the disappointment of the watching audience of millions.
The ‘immovable bellend‘ clearly has the potential for world-class tantrums, and many are convinced it is a question of ‘when’ rather than ‘if’ he breaks down in huge sobbing floods of hot tears this World Cup. But despite the Ivorians doing their best to rile the Real Madrid arsehead by a combination of hard tackling and cutting remarks, only once did his lower lip begin to tremble.
‘When [Ronaldo] went down after the tackle by Guy Demel, I was worried that he wasn’t hurt at all,’ said football-lover and Ronaldo-despiser Horace Mendez, “What with him being a massive divey cheat and that. But then when I saw the replay I realised Demel had actually kicked him really hard, which was a great relief.”
Much like quips about Aruna Dindane’s name, the match had potential but never really got going. It was enlivened though by Sven-Goran Eriksson’s lovely white coat, and by Raul Mereiles’s abundant tatoos, which make him look like one of those walls you let the kids do graffiti on so they’ll leave the recycling bins alone.
Either Portugal or the Ivory Coast will get knocked out in the second round by Spain.
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Originally Posted by jero
