David Lee Roth triggers apathy, snooze alarms
By Len Righi
Of The Morning Call
As Howard Stern sailed into the future at Sirius Satellite Radio Monday, his East Coast replacement continued struggling to get his show off the ground.
Former Van Halen frontman David Lee Roth, filling WYSP's (94.1 FM) morning slot for the fifth time since Jan. 3, did little more than create a longing for the golden days of outrage.
Roth came across like Guardian Angels founder and sometime stand-up comic Curtis Sliwa, only with a less tenuous grip on the facts than the red-bereted pontificator.
He joked about Stern only once during his show. ''Now that Howard Stern charges for his show, does that mean he's in the porno business?'' Roth asked about 45 minutes into his broadcast, which began at 6 a.m.
Ker-thud.
Roth seemingly took an indirect jab at Stern 20 minutes earlier, as he and his amorphous studio gang were jabbering with forced jocularity about a list of words that Stern's long-time antagonist, the Federal Communications Commission, won't allow on radio.
Roth observed that only people with a limited vocabulary and intelligence would have trouble expressing themselves without those words. ''If that's a great big hurdle for you, then you've got bigger issues,'' said Roth, who never once came close to crossing the line.
One of the biggest issues facing the 51-year-old's fledgling four-hour show, which originates from New York's WFNY (the former K-ROCK), is going beyond the obvious wisecracking.
In reviewing the news — California Gov. Arnold Schwarzeneggar's motorcycle accident, Lou Rawls' death, Nick Lachey's admission to Elle magazine that he sometimes wore soon-to-be-ex-wife Jessica Simpson's shoes, the expulsion of two teen girls from a private school for making out in a closet, etc. — Roth and company's round-robin observations were hardly worth the incessant (canned) s******ing that followed each exchange.
An attempt to gin up outrage about whether convicted killers of famous people should be allowed any measure of freedom was undercut by Roth and his cohorts referring to John Lennon's paramour as May Ling, instead of May Pang.
And a debate about whether child stars such as 10-year-old Dakota Fanning should be immune from comic barbs was rendered silly when Roth said (twice) that Jodi Foster played a 12-year-old hooker in ''Taxi.'' She appeared in the film ''Taxi Driver.''
A potentially amusing segment called ''Rockers with Walkers'' turned into one the show's lamest. Though callers offered a variety of opinions about the worth of tours by the reunited Cream, the Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney, Rod Stewart and Queen with Paul Rodgers, Roth kept turning the conversation back to his old band, asking whether Van Halen with Sammy Hagar is really Van Halen. No doubt many people were late for work if they forgot to set their snooze alarms.
A quip made by Roth during Monday's show could pretty much sum up the neophyte radio host's prospects: ''Your future is looking brighter with every beer I put into me.''
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