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Thread: john holmes out of jail

  1. #1
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    Thumbs up john holmes out of jail

    Editor's Note - This story contains graphic, sexually explicit language. It is not intended for children.

    Behind a strip of gay bars in the heart of his hometown neighborhood sits a shaggy 25-year-old in ratty clothes, perched on top of a fence clutching a plastic, red gas can.

    Two older men in tight jeans look him up and down, but shake their head as they pass him by. As the men walk off, he follows them, telling them that he will sell them the gas container that he has just found on the street for a dollar. They tell him, ‘No.’

    He really isn’t interested in selling his gas can though. He’s trying to sell himself.

    JOHN HOLMES is a male prostitute and is addicted to crack cocaine. He’s been in this condition for more than 15 years, living on the street, having sex with men, so that he can get enough money to buy more crack. Although he says isn’t gay, he sells himself to men, many times for less than five dollars a trick.

    “I don’t have prices,” said JOHN HOLMES. “It’s just like I take what I can get. I do everything, and I let them fuck me in the ass, cause I like it. I’ll fuck them in the ass, but I can’t do it [my dick is too small]. I can relax the muscles in my ass enough for them to stick their dicks in me.”

    JOHN HOLMES has been living on the street off and on since he was 10 years-old. His mother, a recovering addict, divorced his father (JOHN'S PIMP) when JOHN HOLMES was younger. JOHN HOLMES left home and started doing drugs: heroine, marijuana, cocaine and crystal meth.

    He hitch-hiked his way through chocolate town , along with some friends. Along the way, JOHN HOLMES got into an argument with the BLACK man he was riding with, and was kicked out of the car in NEW ORLEANS leaving him without shelter, friends and money.

    One day a WHITE man told JOHN HOLMES that he would pay him $20 to look at his penis and JOHN HOLMES agreed. Now, many years later, JOHN HOLMES is still on the street turning tricks. Nowadays, he’s living underneath a Mexican restaurant eating out of dumpsters.

    “I don’t like doing it, but there’s no other job that I can have that can support what I do,” said JOHN HOLMES. “I think I could quit if I met the right SUGAR DADDY someday, maybe. That might make me want to stop.

    BUT then again JOHN HOLMES says he enjoys the sex at all times. With a diamond-stud in his ears JOHN HOLMES seems better off than his competition down the block. He claims that he makes about $500 a week, charging $10 for a hand-job, $30 for a blow-job and $50 for anal sex.

    THAT IS WHY JOHN HOLMES DOESN'T LIKE BLACK PEOPLE...

    THEY DON'T WANT TO FUCK IS WHITE ASS!!!

    SUMMER'S JUST
    AROUND
    THE CORNER!

    [IMG]
    http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a1...rs/2wbthcw.jpg

  2. #2
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    Why is this in the Main?
    :confused:

  3. #3
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    Originally posted by rustoffa
    Why is this in the Main?
    :confused:
    No offense Stoff but why is ANY of "John Holmes' " disgusting racial rhetoric allowed anywhere on this site?
    EAT US AND SMILE!!!!

  4. #4
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    I dunno.

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    John Holmes is worm food !
    Trolls take heed...LOG OUT & FUCK OFF!!!

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    ok who's the troll here
    Originally posted by Cato
    Golden, why are you FAT?
    Originally posted by lesfunk
    Much like yourself as the Jim Morrison of Nazi bunker flies
    http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u...TheDMCross.jpg

  7. #7
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    The floor's wide open.

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    WTF?
    First Roth Army Kiwi To See Van Halen Live 6/16/2012 Phoenix Arizona.

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    Boo-be-doo!!!

  10. #10
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    Originally posted by Dan
    WTF?

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    Originally posted by MAX
    No offense Stoff but why is ANY of "John Holmes' " disgusting racial rhetoric allowed anywhere on this site?
    amen...
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    First official owner of ADKOT (Deluxe Version)

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    Originally posted by MAX
    No offense Stoff but why is ANY of "John Holmes' " disgusting racial rhetoric allowed anywhere on this site?
    Thank you Max for understanding my point, the last time I made a thread to concentrate all of john holmes fucked up stuff in 1 thread in the non ALLY closed it...

    so I saw all of john holmes post over here last night, I said to myself I'll do it here...

  13. #13
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    That's fucked up, yet typical, that your thread gets closed and Holmes is allowed free range for his racist ferver.

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    Originally posted by Golden AWe
    Boo-be-doo!!!
    See, Franksters, "Boo" is spam. But "Boo-de-doo" is an acceptable post in the main. Are you starting to understand?

  15. #15
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    Originally posted by fuckhowardstern
    That's fucked up, yet typical, that your thread gets closed and Holmes is allowed free range for his racist ferver.
    be sure that he is not...

  16. #16
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    Originally posted by DavidLeeNatra
    be sure that he is not...
    I hope you are right!

  17. #17
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    I get high with a little help from my friends.....
    http://img220.imageshack.us/img220/8...19yc8872wu.jpg


    http://img218.imageshack.us/img218/5...0269il5.th.jpg




    Originally posted by fuckhowardstern - dude - you sounded cool as a cucumber - totally relaxed and spoke with authority - must say I was a bit surprised but you sounded really at ease - super cool-like.

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  18. #18
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    Originally posted by fuckhowardstern
    See, Franksters, "Boo" is spam. But "Boo-de-doo" is an acceptable post in the main. Are you starting to understand?

  19. #19
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    Holmes is your typical anal blood clot.



    Let me explain...


    Holmes=Ass Fucker
    Ass Fucking=Anal Blood
    Anal Blood=Anal Blood Clot
    Anal Blood Clot=Dirty Hillbilly
    Dirty Hillbilly=Holmes


    So therefore:

    .4x = .12x - 4
    .4x - .12x = -4

    .28x = -4
    .28x/.28 = -4/.28
    x = -100/7



    or


    Holmes=Anal Blood Clot.




    Does it all make sense now?





    SPAM.
    23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

  20. #20
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    *punt*

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    I guess holmes gay boy is busy with some clients right now, maybe he's establishing a record for the biggest male gang bang ever, he invited all of his kkk friends to stretch his ass...just a little more!

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    The KKK chapter in ITALY !!!!!

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......................

  23. #23
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    He's nowhere to be found right now...busy busy...

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    don't even think about cumming back, john.

  25. #25
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    fuck off John (bitch) Holmes

  26. #26
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    John ''gimpgrip'' holmes as run out of creativity...

  27. #27
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    I missed something... how did he end up in jail, to start with?
    http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e9...oman-movie.jpg
    Originally posted by Nitro Express
    ... What erases the linger of horniness more than Al Quaida? Then blondegirl can post some new hot dudes and stir a new wave of horniness...
    Originally posted by Jérôme Frenchise
    [B]... Cooking, I mean Cooking, is men's field...
    http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e9...i_triangle.jpg
    Originally posted by VanHalener
    ... Fight the Good Fight and Win!...
    Originally posted by FORD
    ... And let's face it, if mothers (except Chelsea Clinton's) ruled this world, there would be no goddamned war in the first place...

  28. #28
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    Originally posted by blonddgirl777
    I missed something... how did he end up in jail, to start with?
    He claimed he fisted (well, in his face, to be precise, because with such a homo you'd expect something else) a Moroccan man and then burnt his Volkswagen. He added he was freed on parole. Well.

    I guess he won't be seen before long, because he's a very busy fag.
    posted by Ellyllions Men say, "I'll never understand women." That's a very lonely place to be if you're a woman because we don't understand half of what we do either.
    posted by ALinChainz Katy, Pipe down, pump off, and fly back to your cave you old bat.

  29. #29
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    OK, I will admit it, I'm a closet fag, are you happy now.


    GOLDEN AWE IS MY IDOL

  30. #30
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    hahaha remember this troll? but he was no challenge for the dump meisters...look at his signature...

  31. #31
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    At least the trolls back then were capable of creating interesting posts, threads and replies.

    Unlike the useless bunch of fuckwits these days, who couldn't find a public hair in a whorehouse at midnight with a flashlight, a magnifying glass and a fist full of 100 dollar bills.
    Scramby eggs and bacon.

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    No shit.

  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hardrock69 View Post
    No shit.
    Keep Digging.
    Quote Originally Posted by hideyoursheep View Post
    When Hagar speaks, I want to cut off my ears and send them to Bristol Palin.
    "It's like trying to fit a mouse fart into a sardine can with a shoe horn"-Ace Diamond

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terry View Post
    At least the trolls back then were capable of creating interesting posts, threads and replies.

    Unlike the useless bunch of fuckwits these days, who couldn't find a public hair in a whorehouse at midnight with a flashlight, a magnifying glass and a fist full of 100 dollar bills.


    There's some truth in that, but also an irony in that you're sort of hearkening back to the days when we had a "higher class" of troll...


    "Echelons" of trolls...there's a joke in there somewhere....

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by jhale667 View Post
    "Echelons" of trolls...there's a joke in there somewhere....

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    "The best of the best!"

    The "Top Guns" of trolls.

    Who do you think in current times would qualify as our "Maverick" of trolls? Who would be "Iceman?"

    Some trolls fly "ice cold....no mistakes"....
    Originally posted by perilouspete
    fryingdutchman you pretty much own everyone.....sick comebacks, well put. top class wit.

  36. #36
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    Thumbs down

    Fargin poofters
    ~Only you can prevent low volume~

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terry View Post
    At least the trolls back then were capable of creating interesting posts, threads and replies.

    Unlike the useless bunch of fuckwits these days, who couldn't find a public hair in a whorehouse at midnight with a flashlight, a magnifying glass and a fist full of 100 dollar bills.
    Some Douchiebag necro-posts a thread and then steals the; crusty long, lost stiff, long, laid ,out cadavereized name of John Holmes....and you consider that quality trolling...?

    As self appointed -LORD- of all "thomrpoewnedllage" around here I find this all somewhat disturbing ....you know....


















    down there..

  38. #38
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    You are so creepy and so conditioned gay~
    To put it simply, we need to worry a lot less about how to communicate our actions and much more about what our actions communicate.
    MICHAEL G. MULLEN

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Golden AWe View Post
    hahaha remember this troll? but he was no challenge for the dump meisters...look at his signature...
    Ah, it takes us back to the golden age of trolls. Holmes,Lardo, and Sagebrush the Army's resident racist trolls. Holmes was an Italian Nazi posting from Italy while Lardo and Sagey were posting hate between white hooded reach-arounds in the backwoods of the Virginia swamps...

    All 3 PwN3D into oblivion... good times!

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by standin View Post
    You are so creepy and so conditioned gay~

    thanks for the stroke babe...that post is a bit flacid... I was reaching around and couldn't seem to get it off in the right place it just didn't come together like the way I like it...

    i will try harder next time..

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