One In 10 Drivers You Pass On The Road Are Naked From The Waist Down!
By FRED KENNEDY
A whopping one in 10 motorists you pass in traffic are naked from the waist down, a new federal study warns.
And you can pinpoint them with tips from National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, which says "seminude driving is just as dangerous as driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol."
"It's important to watch for the warning signs so you can protect yourself by driving defensively when you suspect a seminude motorist is near," NHTSA spokeswoman Jan Kelmer told reporters in Washington, D.C.
According to Kelmer, naked drivers usually are "just regular folks in search of a cheap thrill." They give themselves away by:
Weaving through traffic like drunks, especially while pleasuring themselves, or after they've scalded their privates with spilled coffee or a dropped cigarette.
Slapping and arguing animatedly with a passenger or passengers, indicating somebody has made an unwelcome advance involving their fully exposed naughty bits.
Flipping off or waving handguns at other drivers at random, as if to say, "I'm naked and there's not a damn thing you can do about it!"
Look REALLY embarrassed during routine traffic stops that end with them wrapping up in a police-issue blanket for the trip downtown.
Motor around town grinning like Cheshire cats for no apparent reason whatsoever.
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damn ... busted! 
