Results 1 to 31 of 31

Thread: Resurrected!

  1. #1
    King of the Jews
    Veteran
    Jesus Christ's Avatar
    Member No
    34
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Heaven
    Posts
    2,428
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    25

    Cool Resurrected!

    John 20
    1 The first day of the week cometh Mary Magdalene early, when it was yet dark, unto the sepulchre, and seeth the stone taken away from the sepulchre.
    2 Then she runneth, and cometh to Simon Peter, and to the other disciple, whom Jesus loved, and saith unto them, They have taken away the LORD out of the sepulchre, and we know not where they have laid him.
    3 Peter therefore went forth, and that other disciple, and came to the sepulchre.
    4 So they ran both together: and the other disciple did outrun Peter, and came first to the sepulchre.
    5 And he stooping down, and looking in, saw the linen clothes lying; yet went he not in.
    6 Then cometh Simon Peter following him, and went into the sepulchre, and seeth the linen clothes lie,
    7 And the napkin, that was about his head, not lying with the linen clothes, but wrapped together in a place by itself.
    8 Then went in also that other disciple, which came first to the sepulchre, and he saw, and believed.
    9 For as yet they knew not the scripture, that he must rise again from the dead.
    10 Then the disciples went away again unto their own home.
    11 But Mary stood without at the sepulchre weeping: and as she wept, she stooped down, and looked into the sepulchre,
    12 And seeth two angels in white sitting, the one at the head, and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain.
    13 And they say unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? She saith unto them, Because they have taken away my LORD, and I know not where they have laid him.
    14 And when she had thus said, she turned herself back, and saw Jesus standing, and knew not that it was Jesus.
    15 Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away.
    16 Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say, Master.
    17 Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God.
    18 Mary Magdalene came and told the disciples that she had seen the LORD, and that he had spoken these things unto her.
    19 Then the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled for fear of the Jews, came Jesus and stood in the midst, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you.
    20 And when he had so said, he shewed unto them his hands and his side. Then were the disciples glad, when they saw the LORD.
    21 Then said Jesus to them again, Peace be unto you: as my Father hath sent me, even so send I you.
    22 And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and saith unto them, Receive ye the Holy Ghost:
    23 Whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained.
    24 But Thomas, one of the twelve, called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came.
    25 The other disciples therefore said unto him, We have seen the LORD. But he said unto them, Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe.
    26 And after eight days again his disciples were within, and Thomas with them: then came Jesus, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, Peace be unto you.
    27 Then saith he to Thomas, Reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands; and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side: and be not faithless, but believing.
    28 And Thomas answered and said unto him, My LORD and my God.
    29 Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.
    30 And many other signs truly did Jesus in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book:
    31 But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name.

  2. #2
    YOU GIVE PEACE A CHANCE
    ROTH ARMY SUPREME
    Big Troubles's Avatar
    Member No
    1309
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    a perception of reality-understanding your place in life will allow you to gain access into the next.
    Age
    52
    Posts
    8,512
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    29
    Hmmmmmmmmm......? And to think, I thought it was just another sunday today...Thanks JC!
    "FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKIN' BITCH! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ANYWAYS? TALK TO ME LIKE THAT? FUCK YOU. DRAG QUEEN LOOKIN' WHORE- YOU AINT SHIT. YOUR THE FRECKLE TO THE LEFT OF MY BROWN EYE. NOW GO MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL...OH, PUT DAD ON THE PHONE"

  3. #3
    Irresistible BITCH
    Veteran
    Switch84's Avatar
    Member No
    1234
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Atlanta, Ga.
    Posts
    2,315
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    23

    Thanks for Rising, JC!!!

    Happy Easter, my Lord! I only have one request about Your special day...can't church services be a wee bit shorter?

    I've already spoken with my pastor about getting a different dude to portray You for next year's Easter play. He couldn't act his way out of a paper bag, and was boring!


    BUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!
    "He doesn't need to sell millions of records, he doesn't need to fill arenas, he doesn't need to be popular, he doesn't need your money, AND HE DOESN'T NEED YOU!"
    Blackflag on DLR

  4. #4
    King of the Jews
    Veteran
    Jesus Christ's Avatar
    Member No
    34
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Heaven
    Posts
    2,428
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    25

    Re: Thanks for Rising, JC!!!

    Originally posted by Switch84
    Happy Easter, my Lord! I only have one request about Your special day...can't church services be a wee bit shorter?

    I've already spoken with my pastor about getting a different dude to portray You for next year's Easter play. He couldn't act his way out of a paper bag, and was boring!


    BUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!
    Dad and I have a Hands Off policy when it comes to the content of church sermons, so ye might want to speak to thy pastor about that one. I will mention it to him as well.

    Also about the actor portraying Me. Admittedly, I'm a little critical of such performances, since it is Me after all. Maybe this is one case where I'm not the One who should be the Judge?

  5. #5
    DIAMOND STATUS
    Panamark's Avatar
    Member No
    24
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Fucking, Australia
    Posts
    17,113
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    47
    Your'e just cashing in on Mel Gibson !!! :p
    BABY PANA 2 IS Coming !! All across the land, let the love and beer flow !
    Love ya Mary Frances!

  6. #6
    King of the Jews
    Veteran
    Jesus Christ's Avatar
    Member No
    34
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Heaven
    Posts
    2,428
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    25
    <object width="500" height="405"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/VbSnk1R31vg&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x2b405b&color 2=0x6b8ab6&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/VbSnk1R31vg&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x2b405b&color 2=0x6b8ab6&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="500" height="405"></embed></object>

  7. #7
    Dr. Lulz
    ROTH ARMY SUPREME
    Dr. Love's Avatar
    Member No
    124
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Dallas/Fort Worth, TX
    Age
    43
    Posts
    7,825
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    43
    Happy Birthday Zombie Jesus!
    I've got the cure you're thinkin' of.

    http://i.imgur.com/jBw4fCu.gif

  8. #8
    Fuck this and fuck that
    ROTH ARMY MODERATOR

    FORD's Avatar
    Member No
    32
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Cascadia
    Posts
    58,749
    Status
    Online
    Rep Power
    144
    He has risen! And verily, so hath this thread.
    Eat Us And Smile

    Cenk For America 2024!!

    Justice Democrats


    "If the American people had ever known the truth about what we (the BCE) have done to this nation, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched." - Poppy Bush, 1992

  9. #9
    Perpetually Befuddled
    DIAMOND STATUS
    chefcraig's Avatar
    Member No
    3871
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    "A Confederacy Of Dunces"
    Posts
    12,172
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    74
    Quote Originally Posted by FORD View Post
    He has risen! And verily, so hath this thread.
    Posted with the wrong user name there, your eminence.









    “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
    ― Stephen Hawking

  10. #10
    Tattoo Tattoo
    Full Member Status

    Sensible Shoes's Avatar
    Member No
    25002
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    4,650
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    31
    Screw this. Where are my chocolate bunnies?

    Oh dear.

  11. #11
    Fuck this and fuck that
    ROTH ARMY MODERATOR

    FORD's Avatar
    Member No
    32
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Cascadia
    Posts
    58,749
    Status
    Online
    Rep Power
    144
    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    Posted with the wrong user name there, your eminence.
    No, I was just replying in that KJV speak for the occasion.

  12. #12
    Dr. Lulz
    ROTH ARMY SUPREME
    Dr. Love's Avatar
    Member No
    124
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Dallas/Fort Worth, TX
    Age
    43
    Posts
    7,825
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    43

  13. #13
    Banned
    Member No
    5226
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    .
    Posts
    12,707
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    0
    Pffft, big deal.

    Dude pulls a trick & goes on & on about it for more than 2000 years.

    Give it a rest already, Jesus.

    David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear & banged Claudia Schiffer, but he doesn't go on about it.

    Some people just don't know when to stop.

    By the way, I am now a Glorious Beacon of Light. Says so in my little green dots.

    I'll go on about it for a while, it's really cool. But I won't be talking about it in 4010.

    Cheers! :bottle:

  14. #14
    ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

    Seshmeister's Avatar
    Member No
    11
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    35,139
    Status
    Online
    Rep Power
    10
    Quote Originally Posted by Panamark View Post
    Your'e just cashing in on Mel Gibson !!! :p
    A shitty remake of The Life of Brian...

  15. #15
    Banned
    Member No
    5226
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    .
    Posts
    12,707
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    0
    A heavily fantasized, shitty remake of Life of Brian.

    No historical accuracy whatsoever, unlike the original.

    Cheers! :bottle:

  16. #16
    Dr. Lulz
    ROTH ARMY SUPREME
    Dr. Love's Avatar
    Member No
    124
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Dallas/Fort Worth, TX
    Age
    43
    Posts
    7,825
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    43
    this should help you out next time zombie jesus...


  17. #17
    Banned
    132dB's At Your Service

    Member No
    25
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    20' Above Water
    Posts
    10,849
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Jesus Christ View Post
    uh huh...

  18. #18
    Fuck this and fuck that
    ROTH ARMY MODERATOR

    FORD's Avatar
    Member No
    32
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Cascadia
    Posts
    58,749
    Status
    Online
    Rep Power
    144
    Well, we already knew GAyR was going to Hell, but I'd bet that calling our Lord & Savior a "jackass" will get him there even sooner.

    I kinda feel sorry for Satan, knowing he'll have Hell's library forever polluted.

  19. #19
    The Frosty One...
    Crazy Ass Mofo
    hambon4lif's Avatar
    Member No
    5787
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    at your sisters place
    Age
    55
    Posts
    2,810
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    38
    There are no computer privileges in the library of Hell...that means 'no Google' either. Imagine that...the "Clay Aiken" wannabe...helpless and clueless in the afterlife.

    That would be a choice day to throw a party!

  20. #20
    ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

    Seshmeister's Avatar
    Member No
    11
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    35,139
    Status
    Online
    Rep Power
    10
    <object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7M8dSOyVWqM&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7M8dSOyVWqM&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

  21. #21
    ROTH ARMY FOUNDER
    International Playboy
    conmee's Avatar
    Member No
    5
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    1,945
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    28
    Sweet Christ, this is my new anthem for the month of April!!!

    Oooh! I like 'em scrambled!

    I think every 80s hair band cliche was covered in this tune...

    That is all.

    Icon
    An Icon©®™Incorporated/GODDAM BUCK-KNIFE JACKBOOT MOTHERFUCK©®™ Production.
    hitchWORLD1969.com© and Old Boy Club© Co-Founder, Investor, and Spiritual Leader 1996-2024©™®


    E.U.A.S. - "The Feng Shui in the House That Roth Built!"

    R.I.P. - Douglas Hitchens, Jr. aka Hitch1969 aka Supermodel Doug et al... 1-23-2017

    "It is possible to OverGap©®™" - Sesh©®™, 5-8-2013

    "A reacharound doesn't need to be gay." - Sesh©®™, 1-18-2012

    "If we are going to have ex mods posting cocks can they at least be a manageable size." - Sesh©®™, 8-24-2011

    "For the love of jive, have a waborita and chill out." - Hitchman©®™, 5-18-2004

  22. #22
    ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

    Seshmeister's Avatar
    Member No
    11
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    35,139
    Status
    Online
    Rep Power
    10

  23. #23
    Rock God
    DIAMOND STATUS
    Hardrock69's Avatar
    Member No
    11017
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    A Small Dive in a trashy neighborhood somewhere on Fornax 9
    Posts
    21,833
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    68
    The difference between Jebus and a picture of Jebus?


    It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jebus.

  24. #24
    King of the Jews
    Veteran
    Jesus Christ's Avatar
    Member No
    34
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Heaven
    Posts
    2,428
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    25
    That wasn't funny, My son.

  25. #25
    Sniper
    Lqskdiver's Avatar
    Member No
    5535
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    I'm Blind In Texass!
    Age
    53
    Posts
    763
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    20
    One thing I've noticed is that Jesus does not look Jewish.





    Seems like his likeness has been modified over time. Wonder what he'll look like 2000 years from now.

  26. #26
    King of the Jews
    Veteran
    Jesus Christ's Avatar
    Member No
    34
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Heaven
    Posts
    2,428
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    25
    Thou hast pictured the Mormon Jesus. They don't seem to like My Jewish roots. Oy......

  27. #27
    Sniper
    Lqskdiver's Avatar
    Member No
    5535
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    I'm Blind In Texass!
    Age
    53
    Posts
    763
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    20
    Quote Originally Posted by Jesus Christ View Post
    Thou hast pictured the Mormon Jesus. They don't seem to like My Jewish roots. Oy......
    Well the "roots" in your avatar also seem to be showing.

    And is that a nose job i detect?

    My guess is there's a reason you had Luke as your apostle, since he was a doctor.

    Nip/Tuck anyone?

  28. #28
    Dumpwaffen SS
    DIAMOND STATUS
    Golden AWe's Avatar
    Member No
    663
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Pentonville, FIN
    Age
    46
    Posts
    33,627
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    58
    Only Rising I believe in was made by Rainbow...
    Originally posted by Cato
    Golden, why are you FAT?
    Originally posted by lesfunk
    Much like yourself as the Jim Morrison of Nazi bunker flies
    http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u...TheDMCross.jpg

  29. #29
    ROTH ARMY FOUNDER
    International Playboy
    conmee's Avatar
    Member No
    5
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    1,945
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    28
    My Jesus always looked like Matthew McConaughey but with a beard, longer hair, and usually had a shirt on (except during crucifixtion)...

    That is all.

    Icon

  30. #30
    ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

    Seshmeister's Avatar
    Member No
    11
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    35,139
    Status
    Online
    Rep Power
    10
    Quote Originally Posted by Lqskdiver View Post
    Seems like his likeness has been modified over time. Wonder what he'll look like 2000 years from now.

  31. #31
    Rock God
    DIAMOND STATUS
    Hardrock69's Avatar
    Member No
    11017
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    A Small Dive in a trashy neighborhood somewhere on Fornax 9
    Posts
    21,833
    Status
    Offline
    Rep Power
    68
    Quote Originally Posted by Jesus Christ View Post
    That wasn't funny, My son.
    Of course it was.


    Beavis has more credibility than Jesus:

    Last edited by Hardrock69; 04-06-2010 at 01:51 PM.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Resurrected!
    By Jesus Christ in forum The Front Line
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 04-16-2009, 11:01 AM
  2. Dave Resurrected 1991 Alae Jacket Proof Here !!!!!
    By Calderone in forum Main VH/DLR Discussion
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 03-18-2009, 12:20 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •