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Thread: Eats, Shoots & Leaves

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    Eats, Shoots & Leaves

    A panda goes into a café, eats a sandwich, and then takes out a gun. He fires two shots into the air and moves toward the door. Perplexed, the bartender asks him why he did that. "I'm a panda," he replies, tossing a badly-punctuated wildlife manual at the man. "Look it up." Inside, the panda's entry reads as follows: "Panda. Large bear-like mammal native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."


    This is a great book. There are more than a few of us puncuation perfectionists in here, and this is a great read.

    There's actually a name for the comma in a list sentence, which precedes the "&"

    It's the seldom used "Oxford comma".

    As in: Van Halen is Ed, Mike, Al, and Dave.

    I also learned there's actually a name for what I refer to as "Pojospeak"

    The sentences that trail off in the ...

    The [...] are ellipsis.

    It's full of stuff I've wondered, or have forgotten from school long ago.

    Such as the "sic"

    I've always known what it meant, however had no idea of it's origin.




    Anyway, not to get all "Oprah book club" on anyone, but it's a good book. Pick up a copy in paperback. Read it in the can.


    -LM



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    didn't you have language arts throughout your education?
    Roth Army Militia

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    Sounds like a good read...


    I will keep a lookout for it.
    The Power Of The Riff Compels Me

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    Originally posted by Ally_Kat
    didn't you have language arts throughout your education?
    Yes, Ally, I'm sure I did.

    However except for the occasional "career day", I haven't stepped foot in a classroom in over 20 years. ["My dad used to be a rock star, but now all he does is sit around the house playing with things, he doesn't have a job anymore"] My kids pretty much stopped asking me to speak at their classes around grade 4.... LOL

    Which is why I bought the book. Some of us old fogies [sp?] need a refresher every now and again, Ally, but thanks for your concern.

    Should we stop reading books once we finish school?

    Should we not let others know when we find something worth reading?


    Punctuation, especially the your/you're debate is a constant flame tool on this site. I thought it was an appropriate book to suggest.

    But then so would beginning a sentence with a capital letter.

    -LM

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    LOUNGE: I'm impressed, you actually get a book that is'nt mostly pictures! Who knew?!

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    yeah, well, I don't need to buy a book to re-teach myself stuff I learned every year from 1st to 12th grade.

    Originally posted by LoungeMachine


    But then so would beginning a sentence with a capital letter.

    -LM
    Oh noes, I didn't capitalize! *shakes in my booties* Please, everyone knows that grammar is different on the interweb, unless you're a journalist/news organization posting articles on the web. You need to look no further than Pojo-speak as an example, as they are the incorrect use of ellipses.

    I'm actually surprised that you didn't know what ellipses were
    (and yes, that's spelt correctly. Ellipses is the plural of ellipsis).

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    Originally posted by LoungeMachine
    Should we stop reading books once we finish school?

    Should we not let others know when we find something worth reading?


    Punctuation, especially the your/you're debate is a constant flame tool on this site. I thought it was an appropriate book to suggest.

    But then so would beginning a sentence with a capital letter.

    -LM
    1. No
    2. No
    3. Looks like a good one, too.
    4. No habla ingles.
    Why settle for something you have, if it's not as good as something you're out to get?

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    It's like putting up a YouTube of Bach and playing Chopstix on your Bontempi...

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    We now return you to your regular programming...

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    I used to have this book called "Giant Pandas': Evolution, Tigers, and The Manchurian Province".

    It was basically a veiled attempt @ solidifying some dipshit's theory of extreme variances' in climate effecting DYNASTYS'.

    There's also a joke about some Panda trying to make bamboo Jambalaya that I can't remember now.


  10. #10
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    Originally posted by Ally_Kat
    yeah, well, I don't need to buy a book to re-teach myself stuff I learned every year from 1st to 12th grade.


    Yes, you're so above it all.

    We get it.

  11. #11
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    Originally posted by Ally_Kat


    . You need to look no further than Pojo-speak as an example, as they are the incorrect use of ellipses.

    Not according to the book.

    Miss no-it-all

    Pojo is using them correctly.

    Guess you're even smarter than the author.

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    Originally posted by Ally_Kat
    yeah, well, I don't need to buy a book to re-teach myself stuff I learned every year from 1st to 12th grade.
    There's a dirty joke in there somewhere... But I won't go there.

  13. #13
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    LMAO


    This isn't about your fucking commas...

    It's about my fucking cunt.

  14. #14
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    Note to self:

    Don't let Ally know what you're reading, because she may mock and ridicule you for admitting that after 20 years out of the classroom, it's fun and interesting to revisit certain subjects.

    By the way, Ally. I also studied history in grades 1-12, yet am reading some fascinating books that seem to differ from American Public School text books from 20 years ago.

    Should I burn them?


    Nevermind.

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    Originally posted by rustoffa


    There's also a joke about some Panda trying to make bamboo Jambalaya that I can't remember now.

    There's also a dirty version of the Eats, Shoots and Leaves jokes. It takes place in a whorehouse.

    As if a panda carries that kind of cash...

  16. #16
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    Lounge, you're so gay.
    RIM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    Originally posted by LoungeMachine
    There's also a dirty version of the Eats, Shoots and Leaves jokes. It takes place in a whorehouse.

    As if a panda carries that kind of cash...


    As a matter of fact they have several lunch buffets @ shoeshows here. Angry pimps have cwazy getups!

  18. #18
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    Originally posted by EAT MY ASSHOLE
    Lounge, you're so gay.

    said EAT MY ASSHOLE


  19. #19
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    Originally posted by rustoffa


    As a matter of fact they have several lunch buffets @ shoeshows here. Angry pimps have cwazy getups!
    Was wonderin' when Denny would come up

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    Originally posted by LoungeMachine
    LMAO


    This isn't about your fucking commas...

    It's about my fucking cunt.
    Something like that, albeit more twisted.

    Kinda like her...

  21. #21
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    a dyslexic walks into a bra...

    fully (sic) m8!

  22. #22
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    Originally posted by LoungeMachine
    said EAT MY ASSHOLE

    Dude, I pity the slob who has to rim me. My shit smells so bad these days flies won't even get near it.

  23. #23
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    Originally posted by LoungeMachine
    Note to self:

    Don't let Ally know what you're reading, because she may mock and ridicule you for admitting that after 20 years out of the classroom, it's fun and interesting to revisit certain subjects.

    By the way, Ally. I also studied history in grades 1-12, yet am reading some fascinating books that seem to differ from American Public School text books from 20 years ago.

    Should I burn them?


    Nevermind.
    It's one thing to read more indepth about an area in WWII or to examine autobiographies dealing with the Civil Rights Movement. I just don't see the point in revisting 6th Grade ELA Skills unless one is that lacking in Grammar.

  24. #24
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    Yes, Ally, I know.

    You don't see the point.


    However, we all see different points.

    Hence, Baskin & Robbins.


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