Dumbest Lyrics Ever?

[MERRYKISSMASS2U]

Megadeth - 5 magics. the song is really good, but the lyrics suck.

Bestow upon me knowledge
Wizard - all knowing all wise
I want to rule this kingdom
Make sweet the breeze now defiled
Dethrone the evil prince's iron fists
In velvet gloves of sin
Parade the grey robed monks
The vestal virgins,wheel the wyvern's in
Let the ceremony
consecrate the marriage
Let me be the protege
Of five magics
Give me alchemy
Wizardry
Sorcery
Thermatology
Electricity
Magic if you please
Master all of these
Bring him to his knees
I master five magics

Possessed with hellish torment
I master magics "5"
Hunting the abyss lord
Only one will stay alive
He who lives by the sword
Will surely also die
He who lives in sin
Will surely live the lie

[sadaist]

Damn you! That song kicks some serious ass. But you're right, the lyrics are kinda dumb. Same with Psychotron.

DLR's worst lyrics have got to be Stand Up. Van Halen, probably How Many Say I or Up For Breakfast.

But I'll have to vote for Cherry Pie from Warrant or Up All Night from Slaughter for dumbest ever.

[sadaist]

Dang, forgot about Ugly Kid Joe...Everything About You.

[Padre Atilio]

I love this song as the whole Rust In Peace album but youre right the lyrics are strange but it remains a good song. Mustaine maybe wanted to write somethin special and he came up with this one...

[knerken]

Anything by Manowar

[binnie]

Saxon - Denim and Leather.

"denim and leather, they bring us togehter"


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(always had a soft spot for em tho)

[binnie]

Oh, hang on

"Loch Ness" by Judas Priest!

Absolutely shocking......

[binnie]

Originally posted by sadaist
Up All Night from Slaughter for dumbest ever.

Now we're talking

"Awake from dusk till dawn
Watchin the city lights
The lights come shinin' down
They'll be shinin down on you and I
And I hold you till the morin comes

EVERYBODY SING IT NOW

UP ALL NIGHT

SLEEP ALL DAY

That's right"

I think Slaughter should also get a mention for "FLy to the Angels"...

They were shit lyrics too...

[Mr Badguy]

"Read my body" by Kiss.

READ MY BODY
Are the letters big enough?
READ MY BODY
Do you like the book of my love?
READ MY BODY
Turn the page, get to the good stuff
EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

Horseshit.

And that`s just the chorus.

[binnie]

Originally posted by knerken
Anything by Manowar

Didn't they have a song called "real men play on 10"?

[binnie]

Also Anthrax "Medusa"

Now Anthrax are one of my altime favs, but check this out

"Medusa
She's staring at you
With her eyes"

Like, what else is she gonna be starin at you with, her feet?

[Mr Badguy]

Originally posted by binnie
Saxon - Denim and Leather.

"denim and leather, they bring us togehter"


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(always had a soft spot for em tho)

Do you dream of playing guitar?
Or smashing up the drums?
Maybe you can learn to play the bass
You can always be a singer
Like me, and front the band
We`re on th stage we wait at your command

Great!

Where were you in `79, when the dam began to burst?

[binnie]

Fantastic, right?

Sometimes shit lyrics make a song worthwhile....

[binnie]

"I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride, cause i'm wanted, WANTEEDD,

Dead or alive"

That's gonna be in everyon'es heads all day....

[binnie]

Hows about,

"My World" from Use Your Illusions 2.

Now they are shit lyrics....

[Mr Badguy]

Originally posted by binnie
Didn't they have a song called "real men play on 10"?

All men play on ten:

I made a rock n roll sin when I tried giving in
To make money, had to turn down low
They said "Why be proud, don`t play so loud,
Be like us and get a sound that`s real thin.
Wear a polyester suit, act happy, look cute,
Get a haircut and buy small gear".
That`s when I turned to them and said:
"Hold it, right there!".

Well it`s more to me than just a job
And while I`m playing you won`t get robbed
Nobody tells a man how to play
It just ain`t that way
Hey, hey, hey, can`t you hear me say

ALL MEN PLAY ON TEN
I`m never going to turn down again
ALL MEN PLAY ON TEN
I`m never gonna turn down again

I`m jet fuel honey, plug me into 220
Step back and let my fingers fly
While I`m burning up my gear there`s a fire in your ear
that won`t stop until the day you die
I really put it to the floor when I hear the crowd roar
Oh, it`s music to my ears when they scream
The I run back to the power rack and deck, all of my gear

Well it`s more to me than just a job
And while I`m playing you won`t get robbed
Nobody tells a man how to play
It just ain`t that way
Hey, hey, hey, can`t you hear me say?

ALL MEN PLAY ON TEN
I`m never going to turn down again
ALL MEN PLAY ON TEN
I`m never going to turn down again



Jeez, I managed that just from memory!

Dumb? Yes.

Funny? Yes.

Relevant? Yes!

[Wawazat]

Uh-uuh
Uhhhh

Wa-ahahahah
Hey!
Wa-ahahahah

We drink Mescal right from the bottle
Salt shaker, little lick a lime, ahh
Throwin' down, down, tryin' to reach the bottom
Where the guave worm, well he's mine all mine

(Oooh) Come on, crash on the beach
(Oooh) You know I wanna
(Oooh) Make love in the sea (oooh)
(Oooh) Woo! Gonna try a little dance
(Oooh) So Cabo Wabo
(Oooh) It's all right by me

Let me take you down
I will show you all around
(Down in Cabo)
Let me take you down
Face down in Cabo, kissin' the ground. Woo! Come on

Face down (Face down)
Down in Cabo
Take me down (Take me down)
Down to Cabo. Uh!
Face down (Face down)
Down in Cabo
doin' the Cabo Wabo, ow!
Take me down (Take me down)
Down to Cabo, woo!
Come on, get it, get it, ow!
Ah-hah! Woo-hoo! Ow! Come on!


not sure if that shit even qualifies as lyrics though

[knerken]

One of my favourite songs of all time:

Turbonegro - The Age Of Pamparius

So you think you had an opera -
Well not like this -
So you think you had a napoli -
Well not like this -
So you think you had a decent pizza -
Well not like this -
So you think you had a real good pizza -
Well not like this -

You've got nothing to lose pamparius -
Gonna wear them happy shoes tonight -
You've got nothing to lose pamparius -
Gonna bake a motherfuckin' pizza tonight -
Alright -

So you think you had a pepperoni -
Well not like this -
So you think you had a calzone -
Well not like this -
So you thought you could make your own -
Well not like this -
So you thought you could take it home -
Well not like this -

You've got nothing to lose pamparius -
Gonna wear them happy shoes tonight -
You got nothing to lose pamparius -
Gonna bake a motherfuckin' pizza tonight -
Motherfuckin' pizza tonight -

Clock strikes twelve -

Apocalypse dudes got nothing to lose -
Gonna stomp some teenage ass tonight -
Apocalypse dudes got nothing to lose -
Gonna bake some motherfucking magic tonight -
Tonight - tonight - well alright -

The song kicks ass, but the lyrics are retarded and hell funny!

[Mr. Vengeance]

All Spammy sucks and this sng is among the worst, but this particular verse is clearly the worst lyric writing EVER:

One foot on the brake and one on the gas, hey!
Well, there's too much traffic, I can't pass, no!
So I tried my best illegal move
A big black and white come and crushed my groove again!

CHORUS:
Go on & write me up for 125
Post my face, wanted dead or alive
Take my license n' all that jive
I can't drive 55! Oh No! Uh!

[binnie]

Originally posted by Mr Badguy
All men play on ten:

Jeez, I managed that just from memory!

Dumb? Yes.

Funny? Yes.

Relevant? Yes!

An outstanding memory, I must say!

Those lyrics are so bad you have to love em.

[MERRYKISSMASS2U]

Originally posted by binnie
Hows about,

"My World" from Use Your Illusions 2.

Now they are shit lyrics....

is that even considered music?

GUESS WHAT I'M DOING NOW?

[DylanLeeRoth]

How about...Pantera "Walk" there simple and sound good. But when you really listen you're like. "Thats all?"

[MERRYKISSMASS2U]

Originally posted by DylanLeeRoth
How about...Pantera "Walk" there simple and sound good. But when you really listen you're like. "Thats all?"

The simplest song is probably Dyer Maker by Led Zep. Oh oh oh im sick of this oh oh oh oh oh song!

[MERRYKISSMASS2U]

Dare I say DLR - Skyscraper?

[MAPRamone]

Originally posted by MERRYKISSMASS2U
The simplest song is probably Dyer Maker by Led Zep. Oh oh oh im sick of this oh oh oh oh oh song!

Led Zep attempts reggae... ... not so good! They did good with rock'n'roll, blues, r'n'b and folk, but reggae? Nah.

[binnie]

"I'll be there for you" Bon Jovi.


"I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you

I'll be there for you
Therse five words I'll swear for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you."

[jslav06]

Dumbest Lyrics ever?! HAH easy...

She put the cream in my coffee (first thing in the morning)
Put that butter on my biscuit (honeydew my melons)
Cherries on bananas (gonna need a second helpin')
You know I'm up for breakfast so early in the morning

Got bacon on the table (first thing in the morning)

[MERRYKISSMASS2U]

Originally posted by binnie
"I'll be there for you" Bon Jovi.


"I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you

I'll be there for you
Therse five words I'll swear for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you."

There's only 5 unique words to the entire song!



KISS - Lick it Up


Dont wanna wait til you know me better
Lets just be glad for the time together
Lifes such a treat and its time you taste it
There aint a reason on earth to waste it
It aint a crime to be good to yourself
Chorus:
Lick it up, lick it up, its only right now
Lick it up, lick it up, ooh yeah
Lick it up, lick it up, come on, come on
Lick it up, lick it up

Dont need to wait for an invitation
You gotta live like youre on vacation
Theres something sweet you cant buy with money - lick it up, lick it up
Its all you need, so believe me honey
It aint a crime to be good to yourelf

Chorus

Come on - its only right now (its only right now)
Ooh yeah (ooh yeah) ooh yeah (ooh yeah), yeah yeah

Chorus repeats out


Kiss got so lame after the makeup. Damn Gene and his money...

[binnie]

I actually like the lyrics to "lick it up"

Always cheers me up, but I admit that they are cheesy as hell!

[MERRYKISSMASS2U]

Originally sung by Sammy Hagar
an only
Time will tell
If we stand the test of time

Wow...

[binnie]

Another Hagar "classic"

There's only one way (To Rock)

"I heard it called by different names, all over the world but it's all the same
There's so many ways to make love, a million ways I've been thinkin' of
But There's only one way
There's only one
there's only one way

To Rock"

Etc etc.....

[binnie]

Limp Bizkit "Break stuff"

"I pack a chainsaw, I'll skin your ass raw"

oooo I'm terrified...

[MERRYKISSMASS2U]

Originally posted by binnie
Limp Bizkit "Break stuff"

"I pack a chainsaw, I'll skin your ass raw"

oooo I'm terrified...

that sounds funny!

[Padre Atilio]

I think we have a winner - Up For Breakfast sucks more than anything else...

Many great songs were written with shitty lyrics bu who cares if its good then its good

[MERRYKISSMASS2U]

Holy Diver
You've been down too long in the midnight sea
Oh what's becoming of me

Ride the tiger
You can see his stripes but you know he's clean
Oh don't you see what I mean

Gotta get away
Holy Diver

Shiny diamonds
Like the eyes of a cat in the black and blue
Something is coming for you

Race for the morning
You can hide in the sun 'till you see the light
Oh we will pray it's all right

Gotta get away-get away

Between the velvet lies
There's a truth that's hard as steel
The vision never dies
Life's a never ending wheel

Holy Diver
You're the star of the masquerade
No need to look so afraid

Jump on the tiger
You can feel his heart but you know he's mean
Some light can never be seen

Repeat verse 1

[jslav06]

Originally posted by MERRYKISSMASS2U
Holy Diver
You've been down too long in the midnight sea
Oh what's becoming of me

Ride the tiger
You can see his stripes but you know he's clean
Oh don't you see what I mean

Gotta get away
Holy Diver

Shiny diamonds
Like the eyes of a cat in the black and blue
Something is coming for you

Race for the morning
You can hide in the sun 'till you see the light
Oh we will pray it's all right

Gotta get away-get away

Between the velvet lies
There's a truth that's hard as steel
The vision never dies
Life's a never ending wheel

Holy Diver
You're the star of the masquerade
No need to look so afraid

Jump on the tiger
You can feel his heart but you know he's mean
Some light can never be seen

Repeat verse 1

So what if he likes tigers? You find something that sounds like it would kinda rhyme with diver that sounds badass.

[MERRYKISSMASS2U]

Originally posted by jslav06
So what if he likes tigers? You find something that sounds like it would kinda rhyme with diver that sounds badass.

Tiger
Diver
Divin' into the fuckin' water yeah clap your hands
[solo]

[binnie]

Originally posted by Padre Atilio
I think we have a winner - Up For Breakfast sucks more than anything else...

Many great songs were written with shitty lyrics bu who cares if its good then its good

Yep, I would be more than happy if that won!

However, I think the lyrics in Dreams are the worst ever by a long long way....

[MERRYKISSMASS2U]

Originally posted by binnie
Yep, I would be more than happy if that won!

However, I think the lyrics in Dreams are the worst ever by a long long way....

This beats it:

You say that we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You'll say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don't care

CHORUS:
And I said what about "Breakfast at Tiffany's?
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."

I see you - the only one who knew me
And now your eyes see through me
I guess I was wrong
So what now? It's plain to see we're over,
And I hate when things are over -
When so much is left undone

CHORUS:
And I said what about "Breakfast at Tiffany's?
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."

You say that we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You'll say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don't care

CHORUS:
And I said what about "Breakfast at Tiffany's?
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."

[Mr. Vengeance]

What kills me is that Spammy used to make a big production about singing "Jump" because he was "a lyricist"...yet the trash he wrote is among the worst ever!!!

Yeah Mas Tequila, assholelips!!!!