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Thread: is Alan real?

  1. #1
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    is Alan real?

    http://www.thestate.com/mld/thestate/16556404.htm


    ‘Life-changing event’: Panther chases forester

    By SAMMY FRETWELL


    A federal forester says he was chased into the Chattooga River by a 7-foot-long panther with “jet black” fur.

    Terrance Fletcher, a technician with the U.S. Forest Service, dove into the frigid water and crawled up the bank in South Carolina to escape.

    “The animal started running ... so I decided to run and get away and jump in the river to get across to the other side,” Fletcher said this week. “It was a life-changing event for me.”

    The incident occurred the second week in January along the mountain river separating Georgia and South Carolina.

    Black panthers are not native to the southeastern United States, meaning Fletcher might have seen a river otter or a bobcat, state wildlife officials in Georgia and South Carolina said.

    Still, Fletcher and Forest Service District Ranger Dave Jensen said they think he saw some sort of large cat on the Georgia side of the river.

    “It was a little too big to be a bobcat,” Fletcher said. “My first impression was a panther.”

    The Georgia Department of Natural Resources found no evidence of large cat tracks in the area where Fletcher said he saw the animal, but the Georgia DNR’s Kevin Lowrey said it’s possible a black panther was lurking in the woods.

    If so, it was probably an exotic pet that escaped, he said. His agency regularly receives reports of people seeing cougars, large tawny cats that were once native to Georgia and South Carolina. Officials say the creatures are likely escaped pet cougars or other animals, rather than wild cougars.

    “We don’t have a native black cat in the United States,” Lowrey said. “That just tells me it was something released.”

    Lowrey, a wildlife biologist with the Georgia agency, said people hiking or fishing along the Chattooga River should not be overly concerned. The river is the only federally designated wild and scenic river in South Carolina, and it is popular with recreational enthusiasts.

    Lowrey said folks should always be aware of their surroundings when in the forest.

    Fletcher, a 24-year-old Alabama native, said he and another Forest Service technician were surveying trails on the Georgia side of the river south of the Burrells Ford bridge when they separated.

    While taking a break near the river bank, Fletcher heard rustling in the woods and looked in that direction. Staring back at him was what appeared to be a black panther, crouched on the forest floor like a house cat stalking a bird, he said.

    When he stood up, the cat started running, prompting him to take the icy dip in the Chattooga. Soaked to the skin and freezing, he met up with his partner and walked through the woods to their Forest Service truck.

    “We just got on out of there,” Fletcher said, adding he remains a bit spooked by the incident. “I don’t know how long (the feeling) will last.”
    Originally posted by ELVIS
    I guess you're right...

  2. #2
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    GRAB IT!

    GRAB IT AGAIN!

  3. #3
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    Ah-ha! Woe to ye, oh unbelievers, for the hour of judgment draws nigh!

    Ye of little faith WILL pay for your false accusations and wrong pursuit of the Clerics of the Mighty ALAN:

    Cheers! :bottle:

  4. #4
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    Don't fuck with the best.

    Don't fuck with Alan the Panther.

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    The title of this thread is blasphemous
    Day-dreaming's gone commercial

  6. #6
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    Does this mean the Apocolypse is upon us?

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    Only fer the unfaithful. And yes, it's the "Apocolypse". Christians have the Apocalypse, we have the Apocolypse.

    By displaying such knowledge of our religion, you are CERTAIN to be saved. Rejoice!

    Cheers! :bottle:

  8. #8
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    Well it's not as if you haven't been warned...

    LMAO

    Grate story
    Twistin' by the pool.

  9. #9
    Lick me
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    Alan frightens me.
    Scramby eggs and bacon.

  10. #10
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    Originally posted by Terry
    Alan frightens me.
    Frightens a lot of people...


  11. #11
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    Alan is The Real Deal people.
    First Roth Army Kiwi To See Van Halen Live 6/16/2012 Phoenix Arizona.

  12. #12
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    Ah, ALAN THE PANTHER.

    Roth Army Militia

    Originally posted by WARF
    Rikk - The new school of the Roth Army... this dude leads the pack... three words... The Sheep Pen... this dude opened alot of doors for people during this new era... he's the best of the new school.

  13. #13
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    Originally posted by Rikk
    Ah, ALAN THE PANTHER.

    There are panthers. And then there's Alan the Panther.


  14. #14
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    I should dig up my old picture series.

    They're on my old computer somewhere when this whole mess began...

  15. #15
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    Originally posted by Rikk
    I should dig up my old picture series.

    They're on my old computer somewhere when this whole mess began...
    You have any idea how much shit I caught for the cause while you were off on vacation?

    Alan got banned...

  16. #16
    Fuck this and fuck that
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    Turns out that Alan was indeed hunting, but he's turned vegetarian.......

    Eat Us And Smile

    Cenk For America 2024!!

    Justice Democrats


    "If the American people had ever known the truth about what we (the BCE) have done to this nation, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched." - Poppy Bush, 1992

  17. #17
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    Well, you know...health concerns and all...

    At least he's also exercising on a regular basis.

  18. #18
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    Originally posted by FORD
    Turns out that Alan was indeed hunting, but he's turned vegetarian.......

    At least he looks happy.

  19. #19
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    Originally posted by bueno bob
    You have any idea how much shit I caught for the cause while you were off on vacation?

    Alan got banned...
    LMFAO. That was one of the things I was sickest of...people getting so riled up about a panther.

    I mean, if they only knew how real he is.

    There are panthers.

  20. #20
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    AND THEN THERE IS ALAN THE PANTHER!!!


  21. #21
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    Exactly exactly.

  22. #22
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    Now THIS has put a smile on my face.
    Fast & Bulbous, Got Me?

  23. #23
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    Who bought this multi-million seller?



  24. #24
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    With no offense to all you LARG supporters/believers/whatnot, moving this to The Pen...
    Why settle for something you have, if it's not as good as something you're out to get?

    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    It's like putting up a YouTube of Bach and playing Chopstix on your Bontempi...

  25. #25
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    Alan got banned?

    How fucking uptight do you have to be to ban a panther?

    Skeev not getting Alan the Panther just gives it more credibility.
    being a Branigan fan and all.

    he tried to give a webbie a rim job for a 5 star vote.

    Of course, after several attempts, Gamera gave in.

  26. #26
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    Originally posted by Shaun Ponsonby
    Who bought this multi-million seller?


    This took several takes.
    Panther paws don't work on fretboards too well.
    Had to use several alternate tunings.

  27. #27
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    I visited him the studio...he was trying to play "Larg Gun", he was failing due to his paws. I the producer started laughing, so Alan mauled him to death. That's when Rick Rubin started producing. Luckily, the original producer was Bob Rock, so nobody really minded that he was mauled to death by an almost rabid panther in a recording studio. Besides, he's used to it. Rick, however, did a fine job, I think.

  28. #28
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    Originally posted by Shaun Ponsonby
    Rick, however, did a fine job, I think.
    It was the Protools.
    Alan only had to play the riff correctly once and they looped it.
    After Alan missed a note after the mauling, nobody said anything.

    "We'll fix it in post Alan, no big deal"

  29. #29
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    Probably a wise decision in retrospect.

    From my experience, I can tell you nobody likes to be mauled.

  30. #30
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    RRRRRuff

  31. #31
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    hmm

    i guess you can't send an issue from an alan the panther thread to feedback....

  32. #32
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    Thumbs down

    http://rotharmy.com/forums/showthrea...t=hitchs+forum
    Originally posted by Viking
    Take this shit over to Hitch's forum.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  33. #33
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    Originally posted by Steve Savicki
    http://rotharmy.com/forums/showthrea...t=hitchs+forum
    someone's having fun

    Steve doesn't understand it

    therefore Steve is against it

  34. #34
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    I don't even why he posted that particular link,

  35. #35
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    So does Steve

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