Rotharmy Celebrity Roast

[LoungeMachine]

It was a tough decision to arrive at.

So many worthy candidates lately. Spamming Trolls pretending to be photogs, Herpes encrusted shut-ins, and numerous newbies bent on making a mark.....

But we wanted the first roast to skewer on old-schooler, someone who's been around, someone who was about to crack under the latest reunion strain......

We needed someone who has already lost all sense of reality, someone who has been wound so tight over WOLFIE/MIKIE that the slightest breeze could send them over the edge......

And we have the perfect Celebrity........













WARF





Brother WARF has been the man around here over the years, but for whatever reason has gone down faster than katie during happy hour.

Speaking of katie, we all know she has a soft spot for WARF

It's called her ASS.

Not to be confused with her face, the other leathery gloryhole with five o'clock shadow.





So let the ROAST begin brothers and sisters.........

Let WARF know how much you love the little homo.

We have some special guests lined up, and once they're done surfing pornotube I'm sure they'll stop by for a and a joke........at WARF'S expense of course....

[Mike Anthony]

Love him? I don't even like the piece of shit.

Classic Van Halen fan my ass.

"Hey, Wolfie's in the band. Who's Mike Anthony again?"

Mike Anthony, faggot. The bass player that was kicking ass with David Lee Roth onstage years, decades even (ha!) before you even touched your first man-boob.

Remember where it all started.

If you cry too much, tonight, you traitor...I'll send you a free bottle of hot sauce.

Maybe if you PM me and remind me that I'm THE ORIGINAL.

[Warfs_Mother]

Oh dear.

I don't find this amusing at all.

My boy is a good boy.

He's in the basement working on his new I LOVE WOLFIE poster right now. He's even using his own "glue" for the glitter on it.

Why would you meanies want to make fun of my son?

I was making him and that weird looking friend of his, Pojo_Rinsing some warm milk the other day, and they were so cute playing nude twister together. You all should be more like that nice man. He just needs a haircut.

I love my WARFY.

So you be nice.

[Real Wolfgang]

hey, there. wait a minute.

this is not fair on warf.

he has been very supportive of me becoming a member of van halen with daddy and uncle alex.

thankyou warf. daddy watches these boards and he is proud that you are sticking up for his desicions. you a a real fan of eddie and alex van halen.

[Mike Anthony]

Originally posted by Warfs_Mother
Oh dear.

I don't find this amusing at all.

My boy is a good boy.

He's in the basement working on his new I LOVE WOLFIE poster right now. He's even using his own "glue" for the glitter on it.

Why would you meanies want to make fun of my son?

I was making him and that weird looking friend of his, Pojo_Rinsing some warm milk the other day, and they were so cute playing nude twister together. You all should be more like that nice man. He just needs a haircut.

I love my WARFY.

So you be nice.

This is pathetic. Only a complete ass like WARF would have his mother come on the site to defend him.

Seriously, this is just sad.

[Real Wolfgang]

hey, my daddy will kick your butt for an outburst like that

[The Truth]

The Truth?

WARF hates people who follow everything Roth does....

WARF hates Michael Anthony........

WARF hates the fact Wolfie is going to see more poon in 40 nights than WARF has seen all his life.......

WARF hates the fact he knows he's wrong about this being a legit reunion.


But it's also true WARF is a real ROTHARMY SOLDIER.

They say a friend will help you move.....

But WARF would help you move a body.....


WARF'S A CUNT, BUT HE'S OUR CUNT.

[Mike Anthony]

Originally posted by Real Wolfgang
hey, my daddy will kick your butt for an outburst like that

Before or after WARF buys his smokes and sucks his dick? "Oh, thank you, Edward, for treating me like shit but kissing my ass when you're prepared to rip your fans new assholes again!"

By the way, I'd like to see how badly you try and play my bass lines, kid...but then, maybe I wouldn't.

But don't worry...WARF probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

[ThrillsNSpills]

Warf will get in a tizzy if we post the angry Eminem pic of him showing his VH tattoo.

Probably because he secretly rhymin rhymes and bustin moves and spinnin around singing Ice Ice baby til he gots holes in his shoes.

When that 3 day bender ended he looked in the mirror and saw his bleached hair and after puking, took another shot(Cabo), put on a sombrero, and became El Warfo until his hair grew back and he could dye it back.

So don't post that pic.

Thank You

[Real Wolfgang]

Originally posted by The Truth
WARF hates the fact Wolfie is going to see more poon in 40 nights than WARF has seen all his life.......

i thought that said poop...i nearly wet my little panties laughing

[Real Wolfgang]

Originally posted by Mike Anthony
Before or after WARF buys his smokes and sucks his dick? "Oh, thank you, Edward, for treating me like shit but kissing my ass when you're prepared to rip your fans new assholes again!"

By the way, I'd like to see how badly you try and play my bass lines, kid...but then, maybe I wouldn't.

But don't worry...WARF probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

i'm trying my best. you are just a big bully and i am going to tell.

[ThrillsNSpills]

wait a second.

Is this a roast or a family reunion?
Somebody brew these guys make it a real roast.
roth on Warf





better.
next

[Horace]

WARF has been a very tender lover for many years. During high school, we got each other through the hard times.

Okay, we're still not officially together again, but I promised him once he gets off his ass and gets a real job that I'd take him back...

...and take him in back.

Seriously, guys, you're being a little hard on him.

[Horace]

Originally posted by Real Wolfgang
i'm trying my best. you are just a big bully and i am going to tell.

Don't worry, kid...WARF and I know a way to make you feel really at home.

[Shaun Ponsonby]

Well, this IS interesting.

Is Warf a new breed of sheep?

Will he rise above Wolfgang and Mike?

Will I be able to find my spanner?

Find out next week on "Shaun".

[LoungeMachine]

Originally posted by Real Wolfgang
hey, there. wait a minute.

this is not fair on warf.

he has been very supportive of me becoming a member of van halen with daddy and uncle alex.

thankyou warf. daddy watches these boards and he is proud that you are sticking up for his desicions. you a a real fan of eddie and alex van halen.

Have you taught daddy how to log on yet, sonny?

Does he share his stash with you, or do you have to score on your own?


Is it true WARF has applied to be your bass tech?

I came up with an easy way for WARF to remember how to change your strings properly

E d's tongue

A round

D ave's

G loryhole

[Horace]

Originally posted by LoungeMachine
Have you taught daddy how to log on yet, sonny?

Does he share his stash with you, or do you have to score on your own?


Is it true WARF has applied to be your bass tech?

I came up with an easy way for WARF to remember how to change your strings properly

E d's tongue

A round

D ave's

G loryhole

Leave him alone, abusive prick.

[LoungeMachine]

Originally posted by Horace
Leave him alone, abusive prick.

Ohhh, that's hot.

WARF likes the naughty talk, eh?

[Rikk]

Originally posted by Mike Anthony
Before or after WARF buys his smokes and sucks his dick? "Oh, thank you, Edward, for treating me like shit but kissing my ass when you're prepared to rip your fans new assholes again!"

By the way, I'd like to see how badly you try and play my bass lines, kid...but then, maybe I wouldn't.

But don't worry...WARF probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

Y'know, Mikey, I wouldn't get so worked up...at least not about this whole site. Some of us remember how great the original band was and don't get off on worshipping a 15-year-old boy.

[Horace]

Originally posted by LoungeMachine
Ohhh, that's hot.

WARF likes the naughty talk, eh?

I could so crush you.

And I would too...if I didn't have to clean the pubes off the bathroom floor before WARF gets home.

[Shaun Ponsonby]

Hey, Horace...where's WARF now?

[Mike Anthony]

Originally posted by Rikk
Y'know, Mikey, I wouldn't get so worked up...at least not about this whole site. Some of us remember how great the original band was and don't get off on worshipping a 15-year-old boy.

It's all good, RIKK.

Some Van Halen fans remember the li'l ol' bass player.

[LoungeMachine]

FOR THOSE WONDERING JUST WHAT WAS THE FLASHPOINT WHERE WARF OFFICIALLY WENT OFF THE RAILS.....

Originally posted by WARF
Rank the following as a top 3.
#1 Meaning the most important and...
#3 Meaning the least important...

Eddie Van Halen
David Lee Roth
Classic Van Halen

#1 David Lee Roth
#2 Classic Van Halen
#3 Edward Van Halen

--------------------------

If you ranked them like I did that means your a David Lee Roth fan first over Classic Van Halen. Thus, you support Wolfgang Van Halen being in the band or anyone else at bass guitar.... because you support David Lee Roth no matter where he goes... or who his band mates are.... David Lee Roth comes first... period!

If you rank them like this...

#1 Classic Van Halen
#2 David Lee Roth
#3 Eddie Van Halen

Then you support the MA reunion over this version of Wolfgang... This means your still a big DLR supporter... but your passion is the original lineup....

If you ranked them like this...

#1 Eddie Van Halen
#2 & #3 (Doesn't Matter)

Your a Eddie Van Halen fan and you will support any lead singer that ED chooses... and will support any decision he makes.... because you feel Eddie is Van Halen... plain and simple.... (I.E- Your a fucking sheep!)

What did you decide?

[Real Wolfgang]

Originally posted by Rikk
Y'know, Mikey, I wouldn't get so worked up...at least not about this whole site. Some of us remember how great the original band was and don't get off on worshipping a 15-year-old boy.

hey, i'm more than just a 15 year old boy, i'm a 15 year old boy who is in van halen. i must be respected, at least until my bedtime, when daddy will read me a story about a giant in his castle and somebody called wolfgang who grows a beanstalk and kills him.

[LoungeMachine]

Originally posted by Horace
I could so crush you.

And I would too...if I didn't have to clean the pubes off the bathroom floor before WARF gets home.

What's for dinner?

Tube Steak?

a nice salad?

[Real Wolfgang]

Originally posted by Real Wolfgang
hey, i'm more than just a 15 year old boy, i'm a 15 year old boy who is in van halen. i must be respected, at least until my bedtime, when daddy will read me a story about a giant in his castle and somebody called wolfgang who grows a beanstalk and kills him.

not for much longer, wolfgang van halen is the new bass player and nobody even remembers you because you are a bully. nobody likes meanies like you. if i was not on the internet i would pull my tongue out at you to show you how serious i am.

[Mike Anthony]

Originally posted by LoungeMachine
What's for dinner?

Tube Steak?

a nice salad?

Why isn't THIS guy modding Main?

[Real Wolfgang]

Originally posted by Mike Anthony
Why isn't THIS guy modding Main?

why are you only in the other half and not van halen?

[LoungeMachine]

Originally posted by Real Wolfgang
why are you only in the other half and not van halen?

I'll take ED'S CONTROL FREAK EGO for $500 Alex.

[Real Wolfgang]

no, its because i am very good at playing bass and will play better than that bully. and warf knows it which is why i would like to thank him.

thankyou warf, i hope you and i can be very good friends.

[Shaun Ponsonby]

I need a drink.

[Shaun Ponsonby]

You know, I've been doing some research (cos I'm just mad that way) and Warf backwards is fraw, which is ancient hebrew for vagina.

Vagina=CUNT.

Funny how these thigs work out.

[Real Wolfgang]

i hope warf comes soon. its nearly my bedtime and i want to say thankyou to him in person.

its a shame my bedtime is so early. thats why the tour is going to be all afternoon shows. matinees mr roth called them.

[LoungeMachine]

Originally posted by Shaun Ponsonby
You know, I've been doing some research (cos I'm just mad that way) and Warf backwards is fraw, which is ancient hebrew for vagina.

Vagina=CUNT.



Funny how these thigs work out.

LMMFAO

As in " Hausfrau " or House Cunt in German

WARF'S MOTHER would be proud.

[LoungeMachine]

Originally posted by Real Wolfgang
i hope warf comes soon. its nearly my bedtime and i want to say thankyou to him in person.

its a shame my bedtime is so early. thats why the tour is going to be all afternoon shows. matinees mr roth called them.

joe thunder just came over this post.

[Shaun Ponsonby]

Originally posted by LoungeMachine
LMMFAO

As in " Hausfrau " or House Cunt in German

WARF'S MOTHER would be proud.

Exactly, exactly...

You hit the nail on the head with a sledgehammer.

[Real Wolfgang]

Originally posted by LoungeMachine
joe thunder just came over this post.

why are you being mean as well?

its bad enough that the bass player who wasn't good enough to be in van halen anymore is bullying me but now you have to make me sound like one of those homosexuals i heard mr hagar talking about on the 2004 tour.

[Rikk]

So where is the man of the fuckin' hour, anyway?

WARF???

WARF!!!

Jesus Christ, someone give him a sobering-up pill.

[Coyote]

Before I aim my compliments to the man of the hour, I gotta give props to Lounge.
I didn't think his busy schedule of relentless roadwork with Winger would allow him to set this shit up in the first place.
Which says a lot about Winger's demand on the market these days.


But seriously, I've rarely been to an affair where the speakers are more important than the guest of honor.


WARF is the man who was once the ebodiment of "The Diamond Mafia", which worked best as a concept.
He tried to resurrect it a few years back with Arielle as a Don.
After trying to get a blowjob from her/it. You'd think one could get laid in South Florida.

But then again, we are talkin' 'bout the guy who kept feeding trolls. For example, Jesterstar.
"I'm a proud Jester ALL STAR"

Which, to some, was cute. Although I'd call it "Serious Attention Deficit".


WARF is actually a multitalent, folks. He's also known as WARFstradamus, albeit his predictions are constantly fucked up and wrong.
I didn't say that he's a GOOD multitalent...


WARF is also our resident wigga, although I'm sure he sports his "Eminem-wannabe" look purely to compliment his outlandish trailer trash attitude.


Here's to the cunt, who made me what I am today. Exactly. :bottle:

[Anonymous]

Hey, you guys shouldn't be picking on WARF! not when Katydid obviously hacked into his account and started posting all that "Jeezus will helps ya" nonsense.



You big meanies! I'm taking WARF's side on this one.

Cheers! :bottle: