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Thread: Van Halen is the BIGGEST joke in the history of music.

  1. 02-22-2007, 11:28 PM #1
    WARF
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    Van Halen is the BIGGEST joke in the history of music.

    It appears from the LA Times article, this reunion is falling faster than Britney Spears jumpin' off the third floor of mental health facility. Unbelievable. Maybe like Brit, I should shave off my fucking head in protest! Well it looks like Gary Cherone might be inducted now that nobody else gonna show up... or maybe Dave & Sammy can do a karaoke version of, "Ebony & Ivory" together. This blows. I was just showing all my friends the new printout of the recent lineup from the Rolling Stone. What the hell is up with this band? How many times must Eddie and Alex stab a dagger into the hearts their fans? This is beyond sad... it looks "inevitable" that Eddie Van Halen will drink himself to death. I appreciate DLR trying to keep a positive attitude over these recent change of events... but I don't like the fact he is trying to sugar-coat this travesty and botched reunion attempt. Van Halen is over fellas, it's time to send Bernie Lomax to his grave once and for all.

    Now let's talk about Alex Van Halen... first off... I suggest if anyone comes in contact with him... just break his neck... just walk up to the dude and play a human game of "pencil peg" involving a swift karate chop and his fucking neck!!

    Eddie.... Enjoy your final Heinekins.... As it looks from the recent pictures the yellow jauntice is in full effect... have fun thumbing your asshole with your co-enabling brother!!!

    Valerie Bertinelli... I don't have much to say to you... god bless you for tolerating the Idiot Savant known as Eddie Van Halen.... I would also like to say that , 'One Day At A Time' was one of the worst shows of all time... and your melodramatic lifetime specials are sleep inducing!!!

    Mikey...
    fuck it...
    I have nothing further to say to you...
    Except that your head looks like a fucking chia pet experiment gone wrong!!!

    Dave...
    Your the man...
    You better go get a few valiums and a team of lawyers now!!!
    Last edited by WARF; 02-22-2007 at 11:32 PM.
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  2. 02-22-2007, 11:34 PM #2
    LoungeMachine
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    I take it WARF has fallen from the band wagon.

    Good.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    Dude, what in the fuck is wrong with you? I'm full of hate and I do drugs.
    Quote Originally Posted by cadaverdog View Post
    I posted under aliases and I jerk off with a sock. Anything else to add?
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  3. 02-22-2007, 11:44 PM #3
    WARF
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    I'm so fucking pissed off i'm going buy Van Halen III and dub over DLR's voice... and pretend it's new music....

    Wolfie lost some weight...
    Congratulations....
    Maybe now you be a queer singin' in a nu-metal band...
    It's not like Uncle Pennybags is gonna be calling you... to claim you won first place in a beauty contest....

    Speaking of monopoly... Sammy... Have fun licking Michael Anthony's BALLtic avenue!!!
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  4. 02-22-2007, 11:50 PM #4
    WARF
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    Honestly LoungeMachine,

    I'm just pissed off.
    Either have the reunion or don't!
    Quit dick teasin' the fans already!
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  5. 02-22-2007, 11:53 PM #5
    WARF
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    I seriously wanna just retire from here.
    No goodbyes of nothing.
    Maybe they should just induct Menudo to the Rock N' Roll hall of fame... atleast Ricky Martin will show up for the award!! lol
    Thank-god there is a fantasy forum...
    There is really nothing left to say about this abortion of a band.
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  6. 02-22-2007, 11:56 PM #6
    Dan
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    Originally posted by WARF
    I seriously wanna just retire from here.
    No goodbyes of nothing.
    Maybe they should just induct Menudo to the Rock N' Roll hall of fame... atleast Ricky Martin will show up for the award!! lol
    Thank-god there is a fantasy forum...
    There is really nothing left to say about this abortion of a band.
    Keep The Faith my Friend.
    First Roth Army Kiwi To See Van Halen Live 6/16/2012 Phoenix Arizona.
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  7. 02-23-2007, 12:07 AM #7
    Panamark
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    WARF, you could always wait in the carpark for the next
    Superbowl ??
    BABY PANA 2 IS Coming !! All across the land, let the love and beer flow !
    Love ya Mary Frances!
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  8. 02-23-2007, 12:09 AM #8
    WARF
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    Originally posted by Panamark
    WARF, you could always wait in the carpark for the next
    Superbowl ??
    Dude... this blows...
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  9. 02-23-2007, 12:14 AM #9
    Panamark
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    Originally posted by WARF
    Dude... this blows...
    After all these years, you are giving up now ?
    Man, we have seen far crazier shit..
    Its not over until Dave says so, not WARF !
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  10. 02-23-2007, 12:16 AM #10
    Rikk
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    Originally posted by LoungeMachine
    I take it WARF has fallen from the band wagon.

    Good.
    I want to tell him, "I told ya so."

    But was it the new news?

    Or was it the roast?

    Roth Army Militia

    Originally posted by WARF
    Rikk - The new school of the Roth Army... this dude leads the pack... three words... The Sheep Pen... this dude opened alot of doors for people during this new era... he's the best of the new school.
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  11. 02-23-2007, 12:17 AM #11
    VanHalener
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    Nurse, we're losing him!

    Get me two chicks on a mat as a distraction and maybe we can get this temperature down...

    <object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8TdlVcmUKtE"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8TdlVcmUKtE" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>
    ~Only you can prevent low volume~
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  12. 02-23-2007, 12:20 AM #12
    WARF
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    Originally posted by Panamark
    After all these years, you are giving up now ?
    Man, we have seen far crazier shit..
    Its not over until Dave says so, not WARF !
    Dude... I could never leave this place.
    I'm just beyond pissed right now...
    whatever...
    what a joke this band is...
    Just when you think they hit rock bottom...
    Eddie pulls another stunt...
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  13. 02-23-2007, 12:20 AM #13
    VHrocks
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    eliminated.
    Last edited by FORD; 05-19-2009 at 02:32 PM. Reason: old spam wasting bandwidth
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  14. 02-23-2007, 12:44 AM #14
    LoungeMachine
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    Everyone say goodbye to VHRocks
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  15. 02-23-2007, 12:47 AM #15
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    Bye Rocky Wocky, dont forget, Rikky loves you !!
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  16. 02-23-2007, 12:50 AM #16
    LoungeMachine
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    Originally posted by Rikk
    I want to tell him, "I told ya so."

    But was it the new news?

    Or was it the roast?
    No, the roast was all friend to friend ribbing...

    He knows that.

    There's alot of WARFitis going around.

    One big collective "fuck this"

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  17. 02-23-2007, 12:51 AM #17
    VanHalener
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    Everybody's ready, but Eddie.

    All I hear is cricketts in the future

    Hey Eddie

    <object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/P85INTg4xvQ"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/P85INTg4xvQ" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>
    Last edited by VanHalener; 02-23-2007 at 12:53 AM.
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  18. 02-23-2007, 12:54 AM #18
    Coyote
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    Originally posted by LoungeMachine
    Everyone say goodbye to VHRocks
    Good riddance...
    Why settle for something you have, if it's not as good as something you're out to get?

    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    It's like putting up a YouTube of Bach and playing Chopstix on your Bontempi...
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  19. 02-23-2007, 12:58 AM #19
    jhale667
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    Originally posted by vanhalener
    Everybody's ready, but Eddie.

    All I hear is cricketts in the future

    Hey Eddie

    <object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/P85INTg4xvQ"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/P85INTg4xvQ" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>
    LMFAO

    Thanks for that. Yeah, this shit kinda blows.
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  20. 02-23-2007, 01:44 AM #20
    scottydabodi
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    Ah, fuck it. This whole VH reunion thing is too little too late anyways...

    F-ED. IN BIG CAPITAL LETTERS: F-ED.
    If you listen to fools
    The Mob Rules
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  21. 02-23-2007, 01:49 AM #21
    VanHalener
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    I'm cool on the outside because the wifey is sleeping 30 feet away.

    Inside?...

    <object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ka0J2zOUnT4"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ka0J2zOUnT4" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>
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  22. 02-23-2007, 01:55 AM #22
    jhale667
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    Originally posted by vanhalener
    I'm cool on the outside because the wifey is sleeping 30 feet away.

    Inside?...

    <object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ka0J2zOUnT4"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ka0J2zOUnT4" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>



    Fucking Classic!!! You're fucking killing me. Fuck.
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  23. 02-23-2007, 02:11 AM #23
    DLRdelight!
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    Originally posted by WARF
    Dude... this blows...
    fuck yeah it does. and i believe its 99 percent eds fault!
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  24. 02-23-2007, 02:22 AM #24
    perilousepete
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    knucks to vanhalener for posting that hilarious vid. see you in the funny papers, vhrocks. or the obituaries, somewhere in the paper at least.
    http://geocities.com/sirdominic@sbcg...iestrat3yx.jpg
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  25. 02-23-2007, 02:45 AM #25
    frankfasteddie
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    Originally posted by WARF
    It appears from the LA Times article, this reunion is falling faster than Britney Spears jumpin' off the third floor of mental health facility. Unbelievable. Maybe like Brit, I should shave off my fucking head in protest! Well it looks like Gary Cherone might be inducted now that nobody else gonna show up... or maybe Dave & Sammy can do a karaoke version of, "Ebony & Ivory" together. This blows. I was just showing all my friends the new printout of the recent lineup from the Rolling Stone. What the hell is up with this band? How many times must Eddie and Alex stab a dagger into the hearts their fans? This is beyond sad... it looks "inevitable" that Eddie Van Halen will drink himself to death. I appreciate DLR trying to keep a positive attitude over these recent change of events... but I don't like the fact he is trying to sugar-coat this travesty and botched reunion attempt. Van Halen is over fellas, it's time to send Bernie Lomax to his grave once and for all.

    Now let's talk about Alex Van Halen... first off... I suggest if anyone comes in contact with him... just break his neck... just walk up to the dude and play a human game of "pencil peg" involving a swift karate chop and his fucking neck!!

    Eddie.... Enjoy your final Heinekins.... As it looks from the recent pictures the yellow jauntice is in full effect... have fun thumbing your asshole with your co-enabling brother!!!

    Valerie Bertinelli... I don't have much to say to you... god bless you for tolerating the Idiot Savant known as Eddie Van Halen.... I would also like to say that , 'One Day At A Time' was one of the worst shows of all time... and your melodramatic lifetime specials are sleep inducing!!!

    Mikey...
    fuck it...
    I have nothing further to say to you...
    Except that your head looks like a fucking chia pet experiment gone wrong!!!

    Dave...
    Your the man...
    You better go get a few valiums and a team of lawyers now!!!
    Wasn't this the end of the HOT FOR TEACHER video??

    someone whisked off to a mental hospital
    Are you Mr. Roth? I said yes I am. She said well Mr. Roth I can't serve you anymore because I think your drunk and if I was you girlfriend I'd put poison in your drink! And I looked in the bottle and I said why you old witch if I was your boyfriend I'd fucking well drink it too!!!!
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  26. 02-23-2007, 02:48 AM #26
    DLRdelight!
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    Originally posted by frankfasteddie
    Wasn't this the end of the HOT FOR TEACHER video??

    someone whisked off to a mental hospital
    ha dave predicted it from way back then!!! and mikey may as well be a sumo since he already wrestling with one!
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  27. 02-23-2007, 05:53 AM #27
    katie
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    Originally posted by Dan
    Keep The Faith my Friend.




    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
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  28. 02-23-2007, 06:26 AM #28
    BALLYJUNKIE
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    1984 HOT FOR TEACHER VIDEO .... PREDICTION COMES TRUE OVER 20 YEARS LATER ............. MIKEY BECOMES A SUMO WRESTLE (NOW WITH SAMMY) ..... EDDIE IS IN THE MENTAL WARD (SUPPOSIDLY MAKING PROGRESS ...... ALEX IS A DOCTOR (DOCTOR DICKHEAD !!).... DAVE BECAME AMERICA "S FAVORITE GAME SHOW HOST (RADIO HOST ) FOR 2 MONTHS ................AND AS FOR WALDO ......... ITS WOLFIE ..... YES WOLFIE IS WALDO ........... THERE YA ARE .........TRUE DAT !!!
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  29. 02-23-2007, 06:58 AM #29
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    Originally posted by LoungeMachine
    Everyone say goodbye to VHRocks
    That seems a little unfair, he's clearly just mastered copy and paste and now your taking his fun away.

    How could you Lounge, how could?

    He'll accuse you of bullying and post EXACTLY the same insult in 8 different places using, you guest it, the cut and paste funtion.
    The Power Of The Riff Compels Me
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  30. 02-23-2007, 10:09 AM #30
    Hardrock69
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    Well, since he can't actually spell, copy and paste is his only course of action.

    Now he just needs to copy John Holmes's Cock and Paste it up his ass....
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  31. 02-23-2007, 10:20 AM #31
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    Did any of you honestly think this tour was going to happen? C'mon. EVH is an unstable alcoholic who cannot be controlled. If Dave had any conviction that there was a reasonable shot of a tour, he would have been more active on the media circuit. Lastly,the fact that Ed/Al are reportedly not planning on attending their own induction ceremony into the rock-n-roll hall of fame is nothing short of pathetic.

    VIVA BARTOS!!!!
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  32. 02-23-2007, 10:22 AM #32
    DavidLeeNatra
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    Originally posted by Hardrock69
    Well, since he can't actually spell, copy and paste is his only course of action.

    Now he just needs to copy John Holmes's Cock and Paste it up his ass....
    there you go...

    Roth Army Icon
    First official owner of ADKOT (Deluxe Version)
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  33. 02-23-2007, 10:31 AM #33
    binnie
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    Ha Ha!!

    You got 'em!
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  34. 02-23-2007, 10:20 PM #34
    Terry
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    Originally posted by LoungeMachine
    No, the roast was all friend to friend ribbing...

    He knows that.

    There's alot of WARFitis going around.

    One big collective "fuck this"

    The whole thing is getting tiresome.

    Note to Ed, Al and Dave: Don't open the ball up on this again without being prepared to go all the fucking way.
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  35. 02-23-2007, 10:30 PM #35
    fenway5150
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    Hey Warf, I feel your pain but hey, cheer up, the new Guns N' Roses cd will be out real soon! At least we can count on that!
    "To keep up with me, you must be fast. To sing like me, you must be great. To beat me? You must be kidding!"
    - DLR, 2004
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  36. 02-23-2007, 10:32 PM #36
    fenway5150
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    Originally posted by DavidLeeNatra
    there you go...
    Holy Christ on a popsicle stick that's funny.
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  37. 02-27-2007, 12:41 PM #37
    WARF
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    Originally posted by fenway5150
    Hey Warf, I feel your pain but hey, cheer up, the new Guns N' Roses cd will be out real soon! At least we can count on that!
    I'd rather have the half ass reunion tour, than the AXL ROSE solo cd!
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  38. 02-27-2007, 12:48 PM #38
    David Lee Rocks
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    you said it all my friend, Im tired of this shit too, Ive tried to stay away from here after last week, but im hopeless, if the tour does not happen this year, Im guessing when they do finally do it, no one will show up!!
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  39. 02-27-2007, 12:50 PM #39
    Steve Savicki
    ®oth A®my f®an©hise ?laya
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    Biggest joke with kick arse music... and that's no joke.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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  40. 02-27-2007, 01:20 PM #40
    ppg960
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    Originally posted by Hardrock69
    Well, since he can't actually spell, copy and paste is his only course of action.

    Now he just needs to copy John Holmes's Cock and Paste it up his ass....
    Funny one!
    Thanks Lounge for Banning that clown.
    And you thought I was bad?? For Fuck Sake.
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