*STOP PRESS*
Alan The Panther hath announceth his new movie, the first holy movie since "Spartacus II: The Revenge". It is to be titled "Alan The Panther in London" and hath been co-writteth by Alan and John Landis, who has also directed thy film (Alan decided against directing, I think we all remember the "Emmanuele 29: Finally We Get To See Some Serious Fucking" fiasco).
Here's John's report:
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"The story begins with 2 American students, Jack and David, travelling to London for a relaxing break. They go to to a pub, where they get wrecked.
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Jack stays longer than David, becuase he wants to get into the barmaid's pants.
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But, Alan has already banged her, and ruined her for other beings. She now only has eyes (and vagina) for Alan. When she turns him down, she gets restless. This angers Alan, who was passing by the pub, looking for a new furdryer, and set fire to a hammer to prove the fact. He decided the only thing he could do was maul the guy. Which he did. When he got to the hotel, the American looked bad.
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In fact, he died 20 minutes later.
David didn't know. He woke up next morning and saw Jack lying on the floor, and thought he'd just passed out from alcohol consumption. He tried to talk to him, but with little success.
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He went into the bathroom to brush his teeth, and was startled by the terrible paint job on the other side of the room, and by the Panther that was staring at him with a branch from behind the door.
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He was still miffed about what Jack did, so he mauled David as well (this scene is too grusome to show, so Alan has supplied me with an artist's impression. The artist wasn't good enough, so Alan mauled him too).
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But, David didn't die, and went to the hospital to seek medical attention for the substantial injuries caused by Alan, but Alan was also banging the nurse who treated him, which was seen in an earlier scene involving shrimp.
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When David tried to bang her, Alan was waiting for him outside.
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Jack and David were buried side by side, back home in California.
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This is the best movie I've ever done and I thank Alan for the oppurtunity, and to Steve Savicki for funding it after the success of his Harry Potter forum. I just hope he opens up a forums for THIS movie. Surley, this will be the hit of the summer and the top selling DVD come Christmas time. Everything with Alan's name on it sells these days."
Link: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu...p=1&indicate=1
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