At the same time, there was a tremendous spiritual war for my will. I had a great difficulty surrendering a lot of things, and money was a big one. I figured the only way I could make money was in secular rock music. But while making a rock album after coming to the Lord, my best friend Felix Papilardi, was murdered. 'Two days before, I had witnessed to him and he had rejected Christ. Now he was dead. Soon after, my drummer Gary Driscoll was murdered.'
I tried investing in 'Christian investments' and was severely ripped off twice. The Lord showed me that I had put my faith and trust in other men instead of Him. But once again I panicked, and headed back to making a living in the world of secular rock music.
So guess who called me first? Black Sabbath. I accepted the offer and was the group's lead vocalist from January to May of 1985, all the while thinking I could be a 'light in the darkness'. It didn't work.
Finally, I came to the point where I said, 'Okay, Ive been in the biggest rock groups in the world, but I can't get blessed in these groups anymore because I'm not of the same spirit.' At that point I wasn't getting blessed in Christianity either because I hadn't gone completely into it. I was like a donkey standing between two bales of hay starving to death because he wouldn't make the choice. So I said to myself, 'Either you go all the way into the world and forget Jesus, or go all the way with Jesus.' It took about 1/10th of a second to decide; I could not live one minute without my Saviour.
The incredible power of Christ's forgiveness and compassion has led me into a whole new ministry to those who have also suffered abuse or have been bound by bitterness, violence, or drugs