I know there's a huge debate going on, and alot of anti-Hagar propoganda being promoted at the Roth sites in the hopes that the Van Hagar tour will fail. But fellow "David Lee, or the-grave-it-be"-ERS, I hitch1969©, come to you, and sing your praises.

Amen.

I am going to miss my small town of Windsor Colorado, my life here, and the hopes that we all once shared in November 1999 through just several months ago.

I have found a brand new Christian rock station out of Denver on the FM dial, and for some GAY reason I am just loving this shit. And then I got to thinking. Yes, it is time, maybe... Time for us to grow up. Time for us to move out of our parent's basements which we've dwelled in for TWOscore Apriori Millennia™.

Maybe it's time to TRUST LOVE again, and open our hearts again... like we swore we wouldn't when we found the wife FUCKING in our marital beds, and for so many years after. Time to cut the hair, kiss some corporate ass and take responsibility for that chick at work that you knocked up over Christmas holiday. Time to be a man and sober up, with BALLS that you can hand over to that chick with the security that she will care for them as tenderly as she cracks the pussywhip that provides the structure in your life that you've been lacking.

Maybe even time to pay child support to the chick that fucked you over. Go ahead and reward the whore, it's okay. She's still a whore and who cares. It's just money, and money's as much of a pain in the ass as she was. Time to SETTLE DOWN, stop wasting time on the internet inciting anger in people over what largely amounts to nothing just to justify thine own anger. Let go of all that.

We're getting OLD and fat like hagar, balding and we can't stop it. Time to accept that we are fathers, and no longer children. Time to grow up and leave Van Halen, David Lee Roth... hell, the 80s - and your adolescence, BEHIND.

Time to retire the hitch1969© persona, and just be doug.

Because we're growing up, and we can't get around it. No.....

Well, one last fling with irresponsibility cannot hurt. Through the anger I see posted in regards to the Van Hagar tour... it certainly is a foregone conclusion that this is simply a smear effort to bring down the Van Hagar tour, not an uplifting and positive campaign to make the Van Halen's realize their mistake and right the wrongs and reinstate David Lee. We all know that this is IT, in any way, shape, or form for Van Halen. After this little tour... it's done.

You really can't blame Sammy Hagar for any of this, as much as you want to hate him. Because for almost 4 1/2 years... David Lee was the man for the job and we ALL knew it. I am sorry that Dave was either so obstinate or narrow focused that in 4 1/2 years and several recording sessions, the remasters and all that... he could not make it work. And you've gotta look at who he was dealing with before you blame even HIM for that - Ed and Al. Alex must have such a small penis and/ or been so misused by his mother as a child to be full of such unrelenting anger. Ed is just fucking crazy, period... inventing cancer treatments "every day" to some reporter when drunk and pissed at some golf tournament when all it was... was a benign "scare". The world's greatest rock guitarist, reduced to lying about dying to get himself attention, when all he needed was to DO WHAT HE DOES BEST to have so much attention that he can't leave his house? His fucking wife, who put up with YEARS of it all.... FINALLY says, after having to lie for him on Regis and Kathie Lee and every other fucking show, that THIS TIME he's crossed the line and she's DONE with him too after 20 years and swearing she'd NEVER divorce?

How can David Lee Roth be wrong, if you think about it?

You guys need to think about what is best for David Lee. I am sure that Valerie Bertinelli's hen friends are just fucking THRILLED that she finally divorced Edward Van Halen and his fucked-up-Ed-ness. It's not healthy to stay in the doom and gloom, especially when there's drama just for the sake of drama with no real consequence. Dave was ALWAYS right. He's a glass half full kinda guy, where as Edward VH is just a fucking broken glass look at me cry about it guy when he can afford every glass ever made and his glass was never really broken.

So just how good does Sammy Hagar have it?

And as all of you are so quick to point out... Sam's smart enough to just be doing the one-shot deal. I've always told you that he will massage the situation until he wants out on his own terms.

Why would you want David Lee to come back in on those kinda leftovers and instability?

The shit went down the way it went down. Dave was the man for a long time, and if they can't work it out in 4 years or any of those before.. it ain't gonna happen. I can't help it if it didn't pan the way we thought or wanted. Neither can David Lee. But make no mistake... the Van Hagar tour is IT. Then it's over for good.

I'm cool with that, rocking with the Christians. Moving on to the next phase of life, a more mature and responsible time. Leaving my childhood behind and recognizing that I am no longer the angry young man that got hurt so many years ago, although I am basically the same dude who likes PUSSY, loud music, and beer that I have always been. I've got Viagra to keep me as hard or harder than when I was 14. I can afford big ass speakerbox to FUCK the chicks to. Beer was always overrated... but I can cop a buzz here and there, or even score the over priced Cabo Wabo™ if I like. Fuck it. We've seen more years than we will see, at this point. Midlife crisis? Nah, leave the crisis to the ragheads in the middle east. I've seen some shit go down in this life, been around the block a few times and there are no more surprises and those that were I've gotten over. Get me some milk and a Nissan, I want to have some fun this summer.

And I am talking PreggerChick milk, if you fucking know what I am saying. I've always maintained that PREGGERsex™ is the kink that will save your life. It's just a little better than going down on a chick on the rag, I am serious. I worship PUSSY. These fucking overglorified, overpayed, superbred slave descendents that we watch on sundays.... thanking their "GOD" for the winning touchdown... or the fat white politicians that only go to church sunday mornings to network their real estate deals... that shit, like, bums me the FUCK out. God should be all the TIME, no matter what. Why aren't these fuckers thanking him when they lose, or atleast keeping the shit in check when they lose and thanking him for the opportunity to BE in the NFL or to drive a fucking Lexus to work on hungover Monday mornings that they hate? I worship my God 24/ fucking seven, baybeee. I am down on that prom gown. The hitchman hogs it, dogs it, and kermit the motherfucking FROGS it. Baby, the pussy is yeasty? Let's make some bread and get me the FUCK OFF!!! You're bleedy? That's a new flavor of YOU that I want to taste and have glaze my entire fucking face as I jerk off into your sweet asshole. Yep. Titties squirting milk, my kid brewing like July summer sun tea in the womb... life doesn't get any fucking better than that. You may not agree with me, you may be set in the old school mindset and that is your own dilemma and your personal loss in life. I celebrate all that is woman and I digress in kind.

Van Hagar is alot like that, my friends. And I consider you ALL friends, no matter the history or disagreement. We've shared something here... on the net, a mutual interest and expression of that. It does mean something no matter what the discourse, atleast to me. It's been good. This mental jerkoff that was the Reunification ended in Blue Balls. I still am very glad for it all. We weren't wrong to hope... you're not wrong to still hope.

I'll remind every Sammy basher here that he has always referred to Mach II as "Van Hagar" and not "Van Halen". He tries to make a distinction from Dave. I always read this an that, the complaining, but you should all acknowledge that fat sammy does not want Dave's glory.

I think that Edward wants Sammy to have that, but then again... that's Edward VH. We all know how he's jerked everyone off and basically exercised he and Al's mother issues with ALL of us, including David Lee, over the years.

So despite all this... I am shelling out $225 to take my Kid to see whatever version of Van Halen makes the last stand. Personally, I have always liked the Van Hagar version, and I never thought I'd see it again. So I am appreciative that I can let my son experience something that ended the year he was born. I am realistic and know that the Roth version, the classic version, will never happen. Or Maybe it will... really I hope it doesn't. Van Hagar this round will END Van Halen. But it's not the singer that will do it... Ed and Al have just waited into obscurity and NO ONE can save it, not David Lee or Queery Manbone.

Dave's always done right by Dave, and I don't see that changing. That's good, and if you are real fans of David Lee... you'll realize that a reunion with Edward Van Hieneken is the worst thing for him, RIGHT NOW™. I like to remember the 2001 comeback special on Later, even though Carson Daly is a bigger FAG than David Lee's gay rumors. I think I am with TMR on the whole EEAS reunion. That would be kewl, although lately I have been rocking DLRBand so hard that I waffle as to which is the better recording.

Finally, I would like to tell you that hitchWORLD© has obviously not only made Windsor Colorado a spot on the map, but our faithful residents have followed hitchWORLD exploits and I am proud to say are more intelligent than most metropolitan newpapers, having posted this most correct distinction recently in the Windsor Beacon™.

BREASTS!!


=h69=