New Bertinelli book

[eddie78]

As a self proclaimed Ed-aholic, i picked up Val's new book, yesterday at B&N.

I gotta say, it's quite an interesting read!

Bertinelli was obviously within VH's inner circle since 1980, and her take on all things VH carry some serious weight (no pun intended, to miss Bertinelli, btw).

She offers something all the VH sagas & Ian Christe books never could, because she was there & married to the core creative member, Edward, himself.

Bertinelli comes across as extremely likable & down to earth.
Ed's no angel, but neither is she, and she sort of explains things as they were.

Val also has the good taste to admit that "Romeo Delight" remains her favorite VH composition!

I'm liking this book, though it seems my mom would as well, for other, less rock 'n roll reasons.

[VAiN]

Can you post any interesting quotes?

[VanHalener]

Is your mom hot?

[Jim Shetterlini]

Originally posted by VanHalener
Is your mom hot?

funny post!

[VanHalener]

I'm just messin' with a soldier while I wait for a new Virginia/Georgia schedule.

But is she hot?

[erviewer]

I skimmed through the book at a book store. She has some nice things to say about Dave actually. Saying that he is a master showman etc.

[VanHalener]

Originally posted by erviewer
I skimmed through the book at a book store. She has some nice things to say about Dave actually. Saying that he is a master showman etc.

What were they asking for her book out there?

[Diamondjimi]

Originally posted by eddie78

Val also has the good taste to admit that "Romeo Delight" remains her favorite VH composition!

Yeah ,I got something she can taste !

[Northern Girl]

I've only read the first couple chapters so far, but skimmed through and read some key parts.

She seems to play the blame game a lot though. Looking for excuses as to why she got fat.

"I resented them, and especially Dave, for making Ed so unhappy, which in turn made my life unhappy. As far as I was concerned, Ed took such unnecessary hits. He'd emerge from the studio dazed and distraught, and it wasn't from the booze and drugs he'd ingested as part of his creative process."

[Northern Girl]

"What with Dave and record company execs at him all the time, I marveled that he functioned at such a high level creatively."

Poor Ed!

[Northern Girl]

"Ed was at the peak of his artisty as he worked onsongs for the 1984 album. But Dave made life hard for the band's resident genius. He seemed to be pissed at Ed for venturing beyond the band by doing 'Beat It' and to have thought it a distraction.

I would get so mad at the way Dave and Ed interlaced, but then Ed would tellme it had been like that from the band's earliest days when Ed was a shy guitar genius plagued by low self-esteem, while Dave was this big ball of gorgeous (damn right!) machismo who knew people loved him and knew he had the talent (damn right again!) to back it up. Ed once told me that an LA newspaper had singled him out as the band's key member before their first album had come out. Ed thought Dave was jealous since the lead singer was supposed to get all the attention.

Ed didn't know how to react then - and he still didn't six albums later. Did he play too well? Should he play worse? As much as he thought about songs, he also thought about what would please Dave. Theirs was a fragile, difficult, combustible relationship; that was the bottom line."

[Northern Girl]

"By the time they embarked on the 1984 tour in mid-January, Ed and Dave had basically had enough of each other. Onstage there was nothing but respect, but offstage they were like warring countries, unable to communicate.

As far as Ed was concerned, Dave made his life miserable, as he always had, only now the stage was bigger. Devoted to his music, Ed saw Dave glamming it up with a smarmy Vegas style that didn't feel like rock to him. After seeing Al's wife, Kelly, behind the drum rise, Dave banned any blondes other than him onstage or among the crew. Then he issued an edict banning wives backstage before shows. Then he stipulated that the women permitted to watch from the side of the stage had to wear black jumpsuits. It was endless.

I didn't know whether I was welcome or not."

[Northern Girl]

It's my opinion that no one makes another person miserable unless you let them.

Val and Ed were both insecure enablers to each other who obviously spent all of their time blaming others for their problems.

[Northern Girl]

Time for breakfast, maybe some more later...

[EAT MY ASSHOLE]

No, I totally see how some people can bully you into misery. You can rationalize that, "Hey, this is their thing, not mine", but it is true, people who want to wear you down, with enough effort and preserverance, can.

[rocknrolldork]

thanks NG!

[Northern Girl]

Meeting Dave (backstage passes set up my radio station, and she is supposed to give them M&M's as they snap photos):

"After the show, my brothers and I went backstage again...my wait was interrupted when I was taken to a small room that was curtained off - Dave's lair. I stepped in, and he raised his eyebrows.

'You were great,' I said.

'Thanks, sweetheart,' he purred.

'I'm supposed to give you these,' I said, handing him a bag of M&M's as the radio station's photographer leaned in and squeezed off his shots.

I think Dave made a crack about what he could give me. It was funny and full of innuendo, but that's as far as it went. Based on the few minutes we spoke, I though he was charming if not intimidating.

Then I was taken to meet Ed. Shy and nervous, he was not what I expected..."

blah blah blah the rest is boring!

[Northern Girl]

Someone asked earlier about the guy she fucked 4 years into the marriage. The band was called Private Life. He was the drummer, Craig. Never heard of them; don't know of their success.

It happened in Japan. She makes it sound like it was in response to Ed's new friendship with Patty Smyth. Almost sounded like he got a bit obsessed with Patty. Skimming through though it doesn't seem they slept together (Ed and Patty).

She's said in several interviews that Ed maintains that she cheated first.

[Northern Girl]

That's about all she has to say about Dave, as he had left and Spam entered.

However, in the last chapter, she talks about Wolfie being on tour and says this:

"I enjoyed getting reacquainted with Dave, who, now that I was older and wiser, I realized I liked and appreciated. He was a master showman, great at what he did. Back in the eighties, I was too angry with him to see it. Watching him onstage with Ed, it was clear the two were magic together.

I also loved the way Dave treated my son..."

[Northern Girl]

Oops. There were a couple paragraphs about 1996, but nothing we don't already know except:

"I liked seeing Dave again. He looked great...After eleven years, I forgot whatever grudges I had toward Dave. My problems with him had all stemmed from the friction in his relationship with Ed. Otherwise I liked Dave - and still do.

[Northern Girl]

That's it for Dave. Of course, half the book is about Ed, but you'll have to wait until I'm done reading for more.

C ya

[eddie78]

Good quotes, NG!

It's pretty much a tell-all about Ed & VH disguised as a "I lost weight & you can too" book.

I think it's cool because we finally have someone within the framework of the band telling us how it was, though she may be slightly biased, in some respects.

But if your a VH fan, ya gotta check this thing out.
All the VH sagas & VH101's are loaded to the gills with everything i already knew.
This one is unique.

[VanHalener]

Thanks NG

[eddie78]

In a later chapter, Val describes a chance encounter with Yngwie Malmsteen:

"He pursued Ed like he was a hamburger, salivating at the oppurtunity to learn the secrets of a guitar player that could actually compose real songs instead of pretentious garbage like 'Trilogy suite: opus 1,555,000' and 'Queen in love.'
Ed & i attempted to avoid the hulking swede, but he cornered us backstage. I was fearful for my life, but Ed remained cool.
Yngwie became agitated & warned us not to unleash the fury..."

Val really should write horror ala Stephan King!

[Dan]

Thanks For Sharing That With Us N.G.

[Vinnie Velvet]

What did she say about Mike?

Did she also refer to him as "bass player"?

[J Curling]

Hey Northern Girl, nice work, thanks for that.

Guess I have to buy that book...

[Eddie's Booze]

Originally posted by eddie78
In a later chapter, Val describes a chance encounter with Yngwie Malmsteen:

"He pursued Ed like he was a hamburger, salivating at the oppurtunity to learn the secrets of a guitar player that could actually compose real songs instead of pretentious garbage like 'Trilogy suite: opus 1,555,000' and 'Queen in love.'
Ed & i attempted to avoid the hulking swede, but he cornered us backstage. I was fearful for my life, but Ed remained cool.
Yngwie became agitated & warned us not to unleash the fury..."

Val really should write horror ala Stephan King!

Yngwie smoked Eddie on guitar as far back as '83.....

Yngwie has OWNED Eddie since then.

Yngwie did his own take on stuff EVH ripped off from Alan Holdsworth.


(Vai and Satch can fuck off.......they aren't even good enough to be Eddie or Yngwie Guitar techs).

So yah....Valerie talked shite there.....she isn't a Guitar Player/Musician.

[Ellyllions]

Originally posted by Northern Girl
" After seeing Al's wife, Kelly, behind the drum rise, Dave banned any blondes other than him onstage or among the crew. Then he issued an edict banning wives backstage before shows. Then he stipulated that the women permitted to watch from the side of the stage had to wear black jumpsuits. It was endless.

I didn't know whether I was welcome or not."

Good GOD, I've been there!
First no wives or girlfriends on the bus, then no wives or girlfriends in the hotel rooms, finally no wives or girlfriends in the club.

Musicians....

[Vinnie Velvet]

Originally posted by Ellyllions
Good GOD, I've been there!
First no wives or girlfriends on the bus, then no wives or girlfriends in the hotel rooms, finally no wives or girlfriends in the club.

Musicians....

Didn't Dave refute that claim about his wanting no blondes on stage other than him??

I seem to remember a 1986 interview where he says that it was basically made up and then shows Greg Bisonette and Billy Sheenan, who of course are blondes, now in his band.

[Ellyllions]

I dunno what Dave did or didn't do.

I just know that hubby's lead singer was completely against any band member having a public relationship. He wanted them all single or either to appear single at all times.

Us girls were cramping the band's style.

[Northern Girl]

Originally posted by Vinnie Velvet
Didn't Dave refute that claim about his wanting no blondes on stage other than him??

I seem to remember a 1986 interview where he says that it was basically made up and then shows Greg Bisonette and Billy Sheenan, who of course are blondes, now in his band.

Yeah, he did. I'm taking what she says about the band with a grain of salt, because she's just repeating what Ed told her for the most part.

I don't really see the point of even talking about the band at all regarding her weight issues. She could have said 'my husband was in a band and wasn't very happy.' The end. Bringing up all she does is unnecessary. I suppose she figures it would sell more books, because her story is pretty boring. So she writes about the band and Mackenzie Phillips' drug problems! She titled some of the chapters with Van Halen song titles too.

I know she's trying to get a career back and she wants a sitcom, but I really think she's going about it the wrong way.

[Pasadena Bunnie]

Originally posted by Vinnie Velvet
What did she say about Mike?

Did she also refer to him as "bass player"?

LOL!!!! VV - you are too funny.

[Polk High]

tell me more so I don't have to read the book

[Terry]

Seems like a lot of info we already knew, regarding the mechanics of Ed and Dave's relationship.

[RogueHorseman]

I skimmed the thing at Borders waiting on my son the other night... eh, it was on a front and center display placement, main entry isle as part of the overt marketing behind it.

This Borders had not sold one single copy with that prominent pitch, and the thing had already been out the better part of a week following the Opra plug.

I sure as hell didn't buy one, but she's got no retro news on Ed re VH that Lorna didn't pass on years ago to this old cowboy.

[78/84 guy]

It's cool that she likes Dave as a person and thinks he's talented. I wouldn't have thought she would have too much to say about him. I bet he has told Wolf some cool stuff about the past !! What did she say about Sammy ??

[eddie78]

Originally posted by Eddie's Booze
Yngwie smoked Eddie on guitar as far back as '83.....

Yngwie has OWNED Eddie since then.

Yngwie did his own take on stuff EVH ripped off from Alan Holdsworth.


(Vai and Satch can fuck off.......they aren't even good enough to be Eddie or Yngwie Guitar techs).

So yah....Valerie talked shite there.....she isn't a Guitar Player/Musician.

What is up with this site & everyone OWNING everyone else?

Yngwie is a relic from 1985, can't write a decent song to save his life.
Edward rewrote the freaking vocabulary & created compositions that are fueling this nostalgia tour.
Yngwie never had an idea as groundbreaking as Meanstreet or Cathedral (but he sure copied Cathedral with his cheeseball 'echo etude'.)
Ed leads, the swedish metaball follows. Case closed.

[gunnyhighway]

Originally posted by eddie78
What is up with this site & everyone OWNING everyone else?

Yngwie is a relic from 1985, can't write a decent song to save his life

you're so rite! malmsteen also imitated ritchie blackmore on stage in an embarrassing way and never got much further than employing blackmore's ex-singers from rainbow! indeed, except on the record he did with joe lynn turner, he rarely composed a real song, whereas blackmore was and still is song-orientated instead of masturbating on guitar!

[VAiN]

Originally posted by Northern Girl
Someone asked earlier about the guy she fucked 4 years into the marriage. The band was called Private Life. He was the drummer, Craig. Never heard of them; don't know of their success.

I believe Eddie produced their first album around 1988.... weird. Maybe they had a different drummer by then?