Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: An Introduction to the Knuckleboner

  1. #1
    Rice Cooker
    Crazy Ass Mofo
    knuckleboner's Avatar
    Member No
    120
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    07-01-2013 @ 10:30 PM
    Location
    Fairfax, VA
    Posts
    2,927
    Status
    Offline
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 241 Times in 190 Posts


    Rep Power
    20

    An Introduction to the Knuckleboner

    hello, my name is the knuckleboner and i'm very pleased to meet you.

    first, a few words about myself: i'm a man of few words.

    secondly, i was born in the wilds of borneo, and growing up, had never heard of rock and roll music. in fact the only music we had was beating together two rocks. which, coincidently, was also our mating ritual.

    so one day, i'm out in the jungle, trying to find a couple of rocks, because, well, i was looking to get my rocks off. there i was, rock hunting when, with a tremendous commotion, this wild-eyed peacock man came through the bush leading a band of people on some sort of trek. the multi-colored leader stopped right in front of me and with a rapid display of kung fu kicks and jazz hands, introduced himself and his entire crew.

    i asked him what he was doing way out here in the jungle. he replied, "what am i NOT doing out here?" and proceeded to launch into a tail that enraptured me with its intricacies of outrageous tribal warlords conquering the world through voodoo jungle screams, acres of prime produce, high intensity spotlights, cases of jack daniels, and about a half dozen of my pygmy neighbors. i didn't understand a single word that peacock man said, but i was in awe of his enthusiasm and just a little bit terrified of his power.

    at that point, he asked me what i was doing there. i explained my dilemna of having to find rock to beat, in order to get my rocks off.

    again, the awe-inspiring stranger began to talk in a language foreign to me; telling me tales of late night groupies and stickered prize winners and your drummer's wives, and various other suggestions that i knew i didn't know how to implement. at the end, when i stared at the stranger with a vacant look on my face, he proceeded to pull out a round disk from his pack. he offered it to me free of charge (plus shipping and handling), and told me that i was doing it wrong.

    and then, with a howl, he leaped across the jungle and was gone. still in shock, i took the disk back to the jungle hut and played it on one of our jill, one of our missionaries', record machines. upon hearing it, my world changed and i quickly made it my mission to get missionary jill into the missionary position. with the help of the voodoo jungle screams, she couldn't resist, and i quickly realized that my days of beating were long gone.

    thanks to the disk called, "van halen" i could actually get laid.

    shortly after that i left the jungle and entered the city. a few years later, i found the roth army.
    Hey Jackass! You need to [Register] or log in to view signatures on ROTHARMY.COM!

  2. 2 users say thank you to knuckleboner for this KICKASS post:

    Pink Spider (02-10-2009),Sarge (01-15-2009)


  3. #2
    Builder of Sites
    DIAMOND STATUS
    LoungeMachine's Avatar
    Member No
    6584
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Last Online
    02-08-2016 @ 02:28 AM
    Location
    Milan to Minsk
    Posts
    32,555
    Status
    Offline
    Thanks
    4,111
    Thanked 3,703 Times in 2,511 Posts


    Rep Power
    84
    Van Halen.

    Helping ugly people get laid since 1978

    Hey Jackass! You need to [Register] or log in to view signatures on ROTHARMY.COM!

  4. #3
    Banned
    Easy day was yesterday.

    Member No
    19824
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Last Online
    03-21-2018 @ 02:27 AM
    Location
    Yakima
    Posts
    3,406
    Status
    Offline
    Thanks
    414
    Thanked 309 Times in 279 Posts


    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by knuckleboner View Post
    i'm a man of few words. . .
    If only.
    Hey Jackass! You need to [Register] or log in to view signatures on ROTHARMY.COM!

  5. #4
    Banned
    Member No
    24249
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Last Online
    09-29-2009 @ 07:44 AM
    Location
    Your mama's house
    Posts
    918
    Status
    Offline
    Thanks
    103
    Thanked 48 Times in 45 Posts


    Rep Power
    0

    Exclamation

    Quote Originally Posted by knuckleboner View Post
    i'm a man of few words.




    .....
    secondly, i was born in the wilds of borneo, and growing up, had never heard of rock and roll music. in fact the only music we had was beating together two rocks. which, coincidently, was also our mating ritual.

    so one day, i'm out in the jungle, trying to find a couple of rocks, because, well, i was looking to get my rocks off. there i was, rock hunting when, with a tremendous commotion, this wild-eyed peacock man came through the bush leading a band of people on some sort of trek. the multi-colored leader stopped right in front of me and with a rapid display of kung fu kicks and jazz hands, introduced himself and his entire crew.

    i asked him what he was doing way out here in the jungle. he replied, "what am i NOT doing out here?" and proceeded to launch into a tail that enraptured me with its intricacies of outrageous tribal warlords conquering the world through voodoo jungle screams, acres of prime produce, high intensity spotlights, cases of jack daniels, and about a half dozen of my pygmy neighbors. i didn't understand a single word that peacock man said, but i was in awe of his enthusiasm and just a little bit terrified of his power.

    at that point, he asked me what i was doing there. i explained my dilemna of having to find rock to beat, in order to get my rocks off.

    again, the awe-inspiring stranger began to talk in a language foreign to me; telling me tales of late night groupies and stickered prize winners and your drummer's wives, and various other suggestions that i knew i didn't know how to implement. at the end, when i stared at the stranger with a vacant look on my face, he proceeded to pull out a round disk from his pack. he offered it to me free of charge (plus shipping and handling), and told me that i was doing it wrong.

    and then, with a howl, he leaped across the jungle and was gone. still in shock, i took the disk back to the jungle hut and played it on one of our jill, one of our missionaries', record machines. upon hearing it, my world changed and i quickly made it my mission to get missionary jill into the missionary position. with the help of the voodoo jungle screams, she couldn't resist, and i quickly realized that my days of beating were long gone.

    thanks to the disk called, "van halen" i could actually get laid.

    shortly after that i left the jungle and entered the city. a few years later, i found the roth army.
    Hey Jackass! You need to [Register] or log in to view signatures on ROTHARMY.COM!

  6. #5
    Dr. Lulz
    ROTH ARMY SUPREME
    Dr. Love's Avatar
    Member No
    124
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    03-11-2016 @ 02:30 AM
    Location
    Dallas/Fort Worth, TX
    Age
    38
    Posts
    7,822
    Status
    Offline
    Thanks
    488
    Thanked 1,441 Times in 995 Posts


    Rep Power
    38
    I always figured your username was a sexual preference
    Hey Jackass! You need to [Register] or log in to view signatures on ROTHARMY.COM!

  7. #6
    Banned
    132dB's At Your Service

    Member No
    25
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    05-21-2013 @ 07:57 PM
    Location
    20' Above Water
    Posts
    10,849
    Status
    Offline
    Thanks
    2,599
    Thanked 334 Times in 307 Posts


    Blog Entries
    1
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by knuckleboner View Post
    ...with the help of the voodoo jungle screams, she couldn't resist, and i quickly realized that my days of beating were long gone.

    thanks to the disk called, "van halen" i could actually get laid.
    This means someday that experience could happen to me, too!

    Welcome back, Knucklboner!
    Hey Jackass! You need to [Register] or log in to view signatures on ROTHARMY.COM!

  8. #7
    Rice Cooker
    Crazy Ass Mofo
    knuckleboner's Avatar
    Member No
    120
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    07-01-2013 @ 10:30 PM
    Location
    Fairfax, VA
    Posts
    2,927
    Status
    Offline
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 241 Times in 190 Posts


    Rep Power
    20
    Quote Originally Posted by Dr. Love View Post
    I always figured your username was a sexual preference
    (sadly, it's an anatomical description. but don't tell nobody!)



    and thanks, GAR!

  9. #8
    Skills That Thrill
    ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

    Sarge's Avatar
    Member No
    1
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Last Online
    01-29-2019 @ 01:12 AM
    Location
    Vicenza, Italy US ARMY
    Age
    47
    Posts
    5,417
    Status
    Offline
    Thanks
    257
    Thanked 747 Times in 310 Posts


    Blog Entries
    2
    Rep Power
    10
    Welcome,
    That was great!
    Hey Jackass! You need to [Register] or log in to view signatures on ROTHARMY.COM!

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Introduction
    By Deklon in forum Main VH/DLR Discussion
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 10-05-2007, 05:41 PM
  2. Introduction
    By SolaRise in forum Main VH/DLR Discussion
    Replies: 73
    Last Post: 01-15-2007, 11:34 PM
  3. What the Knuckleboner Dislikes About the DLR Army
    By knuckleboner in forum Main VH/DLR Discussion
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 02-05-2004, 12:36 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •