Chuck Norris: America's Own Bourgeois Domestic Terrorist

[Kristy]

From Examiner.com

The call by some right wing leaders for rebellion and for the military to refuse the commander in chief’s orders is joined by Chuck Norris who claims that thousands of right wing cell groups have organized and are ready for a second American Revolution. During an appearance on the Glen Beck radio show he promised that if things get any worse from his point of view he may “run for president of Texas.” The martial artist/actor/activist claims that Texas was never formally a part of the United States in the first place and that if rebellion is to come through secession Texas would lead the way.

Today in his syndicated column on WorldNetDaily Norris reiterates the point: “That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.”

He continues; calling on a second American Revolution; “…we've bastardized the First Amendment, reinterpreted America's religious history and secularized our society until we ooze skepticism and circumvent religion on every level of public and private life.

How much more will Americans take? When will enough be enough? And, when that time comes, will our leaders finally listen or will history need to record a second American Revolution? We the people have the authority according to America's Declaration of Independence, which states: That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government…”

Norris claims that; “Thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation.” The right wing cells will meet during a live telecast, "We Surround Them," on Friday March 13 at 5 p.m.

He closes with the words of Sam Houston followed by a plug for his next martial arts event.

“We view ourselves on the eve of battle."

[Little Texan]

I think Walker Texas Ranger has taken a few too many karate chops to the head over the years! He's gone mental!

[Andy Taylor]

The US is on the fast track to fascism but not as much as the UK. What's with Gordon Brown threatening to use anti-terrorism laws to put a freeze on Iceland assets? Like this won't be abused in other ways when the powers feel like it. But never mind all that, let the good times roll...

[Kristy]

Maybe Chucky has already recruited these two to help lead his "revolution"?


eve of battle, indeed

[Nickdfresh]

Um, I call fringe media bullshit on this...

The only actual mainstream stuff is Norris ("tongue-in-cheek") talking about being president of a secessionist Texas...

The Dallas Morning News article also said Chuck was, "about as Texan as Yao Ming.

Norris has a ranch in Navasota.

But he was born in Ryan, Okla., and grew up in Southern California."

TRAIL BLAZERS Blog | The Dallas Morning News

[Kristy]

Maybe so as I've become to cynical to believe face value what I read in print anymore but Norris never stuck as one ever having his mental faculty in order.

[chefcraig]

Maybe so as I've become to cynical to believe face value what I read in print anymore but Norris never stuck as one ever having his mental faculty in order.

Oh, I dunno...





Whenever an actor says anything, I'm reminded of what the late comedian and writer Pat McCormick once said regarding the subject:

"Show me an out of work actor and I'll show you an activist."

[kwame k]

Maybe so as I've become to cynical to believe face value what I read in print anymore but Norris never stuck as one ever having his mental faculty in order.

Respectfully, I declare shenanigans!

First off, how dare you ever even question anything that Walker Texas Ranger, MD ever says or does!

This is Fucking Chuck Norris we are talking about and not some insignificant person like say....The President or any Major World Leader.....this is fucking Chuck Norris!

Let's look at the facts shall we;

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.


There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.


Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.


The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.


There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.


Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.


The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.


Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.


Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.


Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING.

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks. (New!)

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.

Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year. Link

In summation, I suggest you get your facts straight before you ever post anything about Chuck, God Bless America, as long as Chuck Norris says it's OK!

[Kristy]

All right you got me, K. Maybe these right cell revolutionary splinter groups which Norris speaks are just a bunch of disgruntled steroid-popping Total Gym Pro owners with semi-automatic weapons.

[kwame k]

We do not question the ways of the Chuck

[ULTRAMAN VH]

Here is Chuck's full commentary, which gave birth to the Examiner article.




On Glenn Beck's radio show last week, I quipped, in response to our wayward federal government, "I may run for president of Texas."

That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not I, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star State, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.

From the East Coast to the "Left Coast," America seems to be moving farther and farther from its Founders' vision and government.


George Washington advised, "The great rule of conduct for us, in regard to foreign nations, is, in extending our commercial relations, to have with them as little political connection as possible." Yet the Obama administration just pledged $900 million in U.S. taxpayer-funded aid to Hamas-controlled Gaza and Mahmoud Abbas' Palestinian Authority.

Thomas Jefferson counseled us, "We must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt." Yet the feds have skyrocketed our national debt by trillions of dollars, and they plan much more fiscal expansion, with few expectations of resistance. George Washington admonished, "To contract new debts is not the way to pay for old ones." But we keep borrowing and bailing out, and we watch the stock market plunge further every time we do.

Patrick Henry taught, "(Our Constitution) is an instrument for the people to restrain the government." Yet our Congress and president stampede that founding document, overlook its explicitness and manipulate its words to abandon a balance of power and accommodate their own desires, partisan politics and runaway spending.

John Adams declared, "Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people." Yet we've bastardized the First Amendment, reinterpreted America's religious history and secularized our society, and now we ooze skepticism and circumvent religion on every level of public and private life.

How much more will Americans take? When will enough be enough? And when that time comes, will our leaders finally listen, or will history need to record a second American Revolution? We the people have the authority, according to America's Declaration of Independence, which states:

"That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient Causes; and accordingly all Experience hath shewn, that Mankind are more disposed to suffer, while Evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security."

It was this type of thinking that led me to utter the tongue-in-cheek comment on Glenn Beck's radio show that I may run for president of Texas.

I'm not saying that other states won't muster the gumption to stand and secede, but Texas has the history to prove it. As most know, Texas was its own country before it joined the union as the 28th state. From 1836 to 1846, Texas was its own republic. Washington-on-the-Brazos served as our Philadelphia. Washington-on-the-Brazos is where, on March 2, 1836, a band of patriots forged the Texas Declaration of Independence.

On March 1, 1845, then-President John Tyler signed a congressional bill annexing the Republic of Texas. Though the annexation resolution never explicitly granted Texas the right to secede from the union (as is reported often), many (including me) hold that it is implied by its unique autonomy and history, as well as the unusual provision in the resolution that gave Texas the right to divide into as many as five states. Both the original (1836) and the current (1876) Texas constitutions also declare: "All political power is inherent in the people. . They have at all times the inalienable right to alter their government in such manner as they might think proper."

Anyone who has been around Texas for any length of time knows exactly what we'd do if the going got rough in America. Let there be no doubt about that. As Sam Houston once said, "Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may."

For those losing hope and others wanting to rekindle the patriotic fires of early America, I encourage you to join Fox News' Glenn Beck, me and millions of people across the country in the live telecast "We Surround Them," which will be on Fox News Channel Friday, March 13, at 5 p.m. EDT. Thousands of cell groups will be united in solidarity over their concerns for our country. You can host or attend a viewing party by going to Glenn's Web site. My wife, Gena, and I will be hosting one from our Texas ranch. We've invited many family members, friends and law enforcement officials to join us. It's our way of saying, "We're united; we're tired of the corruption; and we're not going to take it anymore!"

Again, Sam Houston could have been speaking to all of us present-day Americans when he gave these marching orders: "We view ourselves on the eve of battle. We are nerved for the contest and must conquer or perish. It is vain to look for present aid; none is at hand. We must now act or abandon all hope! Rally to the standard, and be no longer the scoff of mercenary tongues! Be men, be free men, that your children may bless their father's name."

(NOTE: Speaking of showdowns, Chuck is inviting anyone near the Houston area this weekend to see a good example of the raw Texas fighting spirit. Join him and others for the national martial arts event "Showdown in H-Town.")