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Thread: My Name is Bueno Bob

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    My Name is Bueno Bob

    My name is Bueno Bob. I guess I got into Van Halen, oh, 1984...saw Jump on MTV and at 10 years old thought, "Now these fuckers are pretty bad ass, I say!". Saw the videos for "Hot for Teacher" and "Panama" also, and that pretty well confirmed it.

    Didn't really pay much attention beyond that, other than what was on the radio. Heard this wonderful gem called "Why Can't This Be Larg" a year or two later and wondered what happened. Heard "Screams", "Worst of All Worlds" and "Love Walks Out" and thought, "Holy shit. I have to go kick a sheep in the ribs. Immediately."

    This began my hate/hate affair with all things Van Hagar. And for as much as I hated them, Van Hagar seemed determine to find ways to make me hate them all the more. Because next came "When it's Loss", "Cabo Slobbo" and "Smellin' What Ya Farted" and became so immediately nauseated after hearing them, I ran into the bathroom and puked up my entrails.

    It was quite the experience having my mother grab a stick and shove them down my throat and back into my stomach, but it did reaffirm the fact that I had to throw my shoes at Sammy Hagar when I saw him.

    Which I did, in 1993, during the Yankee Doodle Disaster that they called a 1993 world tour.

    In any regards, 1996 rolled around and when Best Of Vol. 1 came out, I could be found walking up to any number of local women (most of whom knew me, since I came from a smaller town) and saying "David Lee Roth is back in the Van Halen world - how about we make some bedlam in bed to celebrate?". And in that span of DLR/VH time, I scored more vagina to my chalkboard then I have before or after. Finally, the stars had lined up and the universe had seen fit to grant me a reprieve of red rockin' flacidness.

    All that is this - I fucking hate you, Eddie Van Halen. I hope there are worms inside of your skull. I fucking hate you, Sammy Hagar. Please take your shoes off, wander around an old barnyard and step on as many rusty nails as you possibly can and then fail to get shots.

    That is all.
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    Hi bueno bob Welcome to The Diamond David Lee Roth Army. The ROTH ARMY carries the Van Halen Torch, Diamond David Lee Roth Style! This is where Classic Van Halen is celebrated and Diamond Dave reigns as the Supreme Toastmaster of the Immoral Majority. Welcome aboard and enjoy your stay!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarge's Little Helper View Post
    Hi bueno bob Welcome to The Diamond David Lee Roth Army. The ROTH ARMY carries the Van Halen Torch, Diamond David Lee Roth Style! This is where Classic Van Halen is celebrated and Diamond Dave reigns as the Supreme Toastmaster of the Immoral Majority. Welcome aboard and enjoy your stay!
    You got the crack pipe in this mother fucker?

    Let's roll....

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    Great, another alias.

    Welcome, fucking newbie.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bueno bob View Post

    Heard "Screams", "
    Then she hit you with the mace.

    Told you to knock that shit off.


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    Wow.

    Quote Originally Posted by bueno bob View Post
    My name is Bueno Bob. I guess I got into Van Halen, oh, 1984...saw Jump on MTV and at 10 years old thought, "Now these fuckers are pretty bad ass, I say!". Saw the videos for "Hot for Teacher" and "Panama" also, and that pretty well confirmed it.

    Didn't really pay much attention beyond that, other than what was on the radio. Heard this wonderful gem called "Why Can't This Be Larg" a year or two later and wondered what happened. Heard "Screams", "Worst of All Worlds" and "Love Walks Out" and thought, "Holy shit. I have to go kick a sheep in the ribs. Immediately."

    This began my hate/hate affair with all things Van Hagar. And for as much as I hated them, Van Hagar seemed determine to find ways to make me hate them all the more. Because next came "When it's Loss", "Cabo Slobbo" and "Smellin' What Ya Farted" and became so immediately nauseated after hearing them, I ran into the bathroom and puked up my entrails.

    It was quite the experience having my mother grab a stick and shove them down my throat and back into my stomach, but it did reaffirm the fact that I had to throw my shoes at Sammy Hagar when I saw him.

    Which I did, in 1993, during the Yankee Doodle Disaster that they called a 1993 world tour.

    In any regards, 1996 rolled around and when Best Of Vol. 1 came out, I could be found walking up to any number of local women (most of whom knew me, since I came from a smaller town) and saying "David Lee Roth is back in the Van Halen world - how about we make some bedlam in bed to celebrate?". And in that span of DLR/VH time, I scored more vagina to my chalkboard then I have before or after. Finally, the stars had lined up and the universe had seen fit to grant me a reprieve of red rockin' flacidness.

    All that is this - I fucking hate you, Eddie Van Halen. I hope there are worms inside of your skull. I fucking hate you, Sammy Hagar. Please take your shoes off, wander around an old barnyard and step on as many rusty nails as you possibly can and then fail to get shots.

    That is all.
    You are a fag.
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    A fag with a vagina, no less.

    That is very rare.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoungeMachine View Post
    Then she hit you with the mace.

    Told you to knock that shit off.

    You know how it is...they say no, they mean yes...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Guitar Shark View Post
    A fag with a vagina, no less.

    That is very rare.
    This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that I auditioned for Erasure, does it?

  10. 2 users say thank you to bueno bob for this KICKASS post:

    Dan (03-26-2009),Guitar Shark (03-26-2009)


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    Hi Bob,

    Is It True You Are Working On The Death Star Again?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dan View Post
    Hi Bob,

    Is It True You Are Working On The Death Star Again?
    Anything helps, Dan...anything helps...


  13. Thanked bueno bob for this KICKASS post:

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    Onya Bob !!

    May the farce be with you !!!
    Would not be the same Roth Star
    without ya !!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panamark View Post
    Onya Bob !!

    May the farce be with you !!!
    Would not be the same Roth Star
    without ya !!
    The legendary Panamark sees fit to visit my thread! Thank you sir!


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    Quote Originally Posted by bueno bob View Post
    The legendary Panamark sees fit to visit my thread! Thank you sir!

    No need for the "sir" mate

    Just acknowledging a grate contributor !
    The guys and gals that constantly post entertaining
    posts and threads are the blood that powers
    the Roth Army's heart !!

    you are one of those entertaining mofo's

    Without that blood, this would be one helluva boring
    ass place.. Like a blank canvass.. We can wank all
    we like about servers and codes and colors and
    whatever, but the lifeblood is the posters..
    The content is the life, not some jerkoff (like me)
    with a "mod" tag..

    It doesnt take long to look around here and see
    who pumps life into the place.. I dont care
    if you are a member, mod, supermod or webmaster.
    If you keep the crazy train racing down the
    track of insanity, you are the Army !!


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    (I've been dying to use that smilie !)

  18. #16
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    Hello Bueno Bob , I have heard you're a cunt.
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    Quote Originally Posted by bueno bob View Post
    The legendary Panamark.....

    Don't call him that, you'll just swell his head...
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    Hi Boner Bob.

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    Hi!


    Do we call you Bobbie when dressed in pastal pink and green?
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    Wow nice new kit there Bob,

    Hey this really is the RothStar now !
    Igo has become a croth grabbin stormtrooper
    and Bob is the Dark Master !
    Who is Luke ?? WARF ??

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    BB!

    Quote Originally Posted by bueno bob View Post
    I have to go kick a sheep in the ribs. Immediately."
    Last edited by Douglas T.; 03-30-2009 at 11:57 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze View Post
    Hi!


    Do we call you Bobbie when dressed in pastal pink and green?
    I'm preferential to Bobbette...

  29. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reverberator View Post
    Hello Bueno Bob , I have heard you're a cunt.
    You've not been misinformed.

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