My Name is Bueno Bob

[bueno bob]

My name is Bueno Bob. I guess I got into Van Halen, oh, 1984...saw Jump on MTV and at 10 years old thought, "Now these fuckers are pretty bad ass, I say!". Saw the videos for "Hot for Teacher" and "Panama" also, and that pretty well confirmed it.

Didn't really pay much attention beyond that, other than what was on the radio. Heard this wonderful gem called "Why Can't This Be Larg" a year or two later and wondered what happened. Heard "Screams", "Worst of All Worlds" and "Love Walks Out" and thought, "Holy shit. I have to go kick a sheep in the ribs. Immediately."

This began my hate/hate affair with all things Van Hagar. And for as much as I hated them, Van Hagar seemed determine to find ways to make me hate them all the more. Because next came "When it's Loss", "Cabo Slobbo" and "Smellin' What Ya Farted" and became so immediately nauseated after hearing them, I ran into the bathroom and puked up my entrails.

It was quite the experience having my mother grab a stick and shove them down my throat and back into my stomach, but it did reaffirm the fact that I had to throw my shoes at Sammy Hagar when I saw him.

Which I did, in 1993, during the Yankee Doodle Disaster that they called a 1993 world tour.

In any regards, 1996 rolled around and when Best Of Vol. 1 came out, I could be found walking up to any number of local women (most of whom knew me, since I came from a smaller town) and saying "David Lee Roth is back in the Van Halen world - how about we make some bedlam in bed to celebrate?". And in that span of DLR/VH time, I scored more vagina to my chalkboard then I have before or after. Finally, the stars had lined up and the universe had seen fit to grant me a reprieve of red rockin' flacidness.

All that is this - I fucking hate you, Eddie Van Halen. I hope there are worms inside of your skull. I fucking hate you, Sammy Hagar. Please take your shoes off, wander around an old barnyard and step on as many rusty nails as you possibly can and then fail to get shots.

That is all.

[Sarge's Little Helper]

Hi bueno bob Welcome to The Diamond David Lee Roth Army. The ROTH ARMY carries the Van Halen Torch, Diamond David Lee Roth Style! This is where Classic Van Halen is celebrated and Diamond Dave reigns as the Supreme Toastmaster of the Immoral Majority. Welcome aboard and enjoy your stay!

[bueno bob]

Hi bueno bob Welcome to The Diamond David Lee Roth Army. The ROTH ARMY carries the Van Halen Torch, Diamond David Lee Roth Style! This is where Classic Van Halen is celebrated and Diamond Dave reigns as the Supreme Toastmaster of the Immoral Majority. Welcome aboard and enjoy your stay!

You got the crack pipe in this mother fucker?

Let's roll....

[LoungeMachine]

Great, another alias.

Welcome, fucking newbie.

[LoungeMachine]

Heard "Screams", "

Then she hit you with the mace.

Told you to knock that shit off.

[Guitar Shark]

My name is Bueno Bob. I guess I got into Van Halen, oh, 1984...saw Jump on MTV and at 10 years old thought, "Now these fuckers are pretty bad ass, I say!". Saw the videos for "Hot for Teacher" and "Panama" also, and that pretty well confirmed it.

Didn't really pay much attention beyond that, other than what was on the radio. Heard this wonderful gem called "Why Can't This Be Larg" a year or two later and wondered what happened. Heard "Screams", "Worst of All Worlds" and "Love Walks Out" and thought, "Holy shit. I have to go kick a sheep in the ribs. Immediately."

This began my hate/hate affair with all things Van Hagar. And for as much as I hated them, Van Hagar seemed determine to find ways to make me hate them all the more. Because next came "When it's Loss", "Cabo Slobbo" and "Smellin' What Ya Farted" and became so immediately nauseated after hearing them, I ran into the bathroom and puked up my entrails.

It was quite the experience having my mother grab a stick and shove them down my throat and back into my stomach, but it did reaffirm the fact that I had to throw my shoes at Sammy Hagar when I saw him.

Which I did, in 1993, during the Yankee Doodle Disaster that they called a 1993 world tour.

In any regards, 1996 rolled around and when Best Of Vol. 1 came out, I could be found walking up to any number of local women (most of whom knew me, since I came from a smaller town) and saying "David Lee Roth is back in the Van Halen world - how about we make some bedlam in bed to celebrate?". And in that span of DLR/VH time, I scored more vagina to my chalkboard then I have before or after. Finally, the stars had lined up and the universe had seen fit to grant me a reprieve of red rockin' flacidness.

All that is this - I fucking hate you, Eddie Van Halen. I hope there are worms inside of your skull. I fucking hate you, Sammy Hagar. Please take your shoes off, wander around an old barnyard and step on as many rusty nails as you possibly can and then fail to get shots.

That is all.

You are a fag.

[Guitar Shark]

A fag with a vagina, no less.

That is very rare.

[bueno bob]

Then she hit you with the mace.

Told you to knock that shit off.

You know how it is...they say no, they mean yes...

[bueno bob]

A fag with a vagina, no less.

That is very rare.

This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that I auditioned for Erasure, does it?

[Dan]

Hi Bob,

Is It True You Are Working On The Death Star Again?

[bueno bob]

Hi Bob,

Is It True You Are Working On The Death Star Again?

Anything helps, Dan...anything helps...

[Panamark]

Onya Bob !!

May the farce be with you !!!
Would not be the same Roth Star
without ya !!

[bueno bob]

Onya Bob !!

May the farce be with you !!!
Would not be the same Roth Star
without ya !!

The legendary Panamark sees fit to visit my thread! Thank you sir!

[Panamark]

The legendary Panamark sees fit to visit my thread! Thank you sir!

No need for the "sir" mate

Just acknowledging a grate contributor !
The guys and gals that constantly post entertaining
posts and threads are the blood that powers
the Roth Army's heart !!

you are one of those entertaining mofo's

Without that blood, this would be one helluva boring
ass place.. Like a blank canvass.. We can wank all
we like about servers and codes and colors and
whatever, but the lifeblood is the posters..
The content is the life, not some jerkoff (like me)
with a "mod" tag..

It doesnt take long to look around here and see
who pumps life into the place.. I dont care
if you are a member, mod, supermod or webmaster.
If you keep the crazy train racing down the
track of insanity, you are the Army !!

[Panamark]

(I've been dying to use that smilie !)

[Reverberator]

Hello Bueno Bob , I have heard you're a cunt.

[Igosplut]

The legendary Panamark.....

Don't call him that, you'll just swell his head...

[Dr. Love]

Hi Boner Bob.

[Blaze]

Hi!


Do we call you Bobbie when dressed in pastal pink and green?

[Panamark]

Wow nice new kit there Bob,

Hey this really is the RothStar now !
Igo has become a croth grabbin stormtrooper
and Bob is the Dark Master !
Who is Luke ?? WARF ??

[Douglas T.]

BB!

I have to go kick a sheep in the ribs. Immediately."

[bueno bob]

Hi!


Do we call you Bobbie when dressed in pastal pink and green?

I'm preferential to Bobbette...

[bueno bob]

Hello Bueno Bob , I have heard you're a cunt.

You've not been misinformed.