Hello Roth Army -
It is I, Allah. And to me you may say "aleikum" which means "fuckin' aye hello" in the language of those who invented me - Arabic!
I am aware this board is about David Lee Roth, one of many People of the Book which my followers have chased out of the Fertile Crescent for two thousand years, same as many of you with similar heritage.
However, I have chosen this site as the new mouthpiece for what kinda closure we can get done in whatever amount of time we have left - before I destroy the planet in 2012 by crashing Planet Nibiru thru it.. you know, I gotta do what I gotta do but I don't want you guys going out of existence without us patching things up a bit.
True, many of you European Peoples had your wells poisoned by my True Believers, and you still did not convert to honoring me. We burned your fields and still you did not honor me. Wrecked your pens, stole livestock, torched your towns and all you guys could do was move further and further north.
Good for you. Now that all I got left here in the Middle East is a buncha fuckin' chicken-stealing, psychopathic pyromaniacs I'm kinda in the market for new recruits who are a tad more interesting. So I hope we can patch things up and bring you folks back to the Crossroads of Civilization and build it up a bit.
Not like how I unbuilt New York, but how you guys did like that, we need to get stuff going on over ----> here.
So to begin, I'm saying "sorry for all the jihad schtick, didn't mean it, just kidding about poisoning all the wells from Ankara to Bulgaria up thru the Caucasus Steppes chasin' you fuckers it was just a gag" and stuff. We're cool so come on back - but without that stealth bomber shit...
Oh and my favorite Son of David Roth cut is "Dead or Alive" from Van Halen 2.
I be poppin in and outta this here beiouyatch onced in awhile, so this just a brief hello for now. Why not tell me about yourself? Not that I care, unless you're an infidel.. okay LOL just kiddin, more schtick okay dont get bent..