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Thread: John Edwards Thanks "Papa" John Phillips

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    Talking John Edwards Thanks "Papa" John Phillips

    Today

    HIDING IN THE GUEST HOUSE, NORTH CAROLINA : Former Presidential candidate, former Vice Presidential running mate, former Senator and former decent human being John Edwards issued a statement thanking 'Mamas and the Papas' founder "Papa" John Phillips.

    Over this past weekend, Edwards was the subject of a New York Times piece and then a cover story on The Huffington Post that included details such as promising his mistress Rielle Hunter a rooftop wedding after the death of his wife Elizabeth Edwards. Monday night, Edwards was the subject of a long segment on CNN's Anderson Cooper 360 that included details such as Rielle Hunter's nickname for Edwards : 'love lips'.

    Edwards said that midday Tuesday, however, things started 'to look up' as details came out about "Papa" John Phillips, who is currently living in a vast lake of flaming feces while snakes gnaw on his testicles for all eternity.

    "I completely condemn the unspeakable and impossible to comprehend evil that John Phillips visited on his own family," said Edwards, adding "But I'm also smart enough to know how the news cycle works and hot damn, I dodged a bullet. So since nobody is paying attention to Papa John Edwards this week let me say - yes, baby whatsername is mine. Yes, I slept with Rielle the very first night we met. Yes, a campaign worker walked in on Rielle and I while we were in shower once. And yes, I had other affairs prior to Rielle. But I urge you to watch Oprah this week and you'll seen how innocent all that junk suddenly seems."

    Normally reserved reporters began hurling rotten vegetables at Edwards, who pursed his lips and stood safely behind a three inch thick piece of plexiglass and a barbed wire setup reminiscent of the country and western bar scene in the film The Blues Brothers.

    Asking if such a cynical and disgusting statement by John Edwards was possible even in a fictional article, Edwards then showed the stunned crowd of reporters that he actually had a video of him receiving The Father Of The Year Award on an out of town trip about nine months before the Edwards / Hunter baby was born - still posted on his official campaign YouTube channel. For reals.

    Edwards smiled and said, "Look, if I have the balls to currently have a video up for the world to see of me getting a Father Of The Year award on the same trip I probably knocked Rielle up on behind my cancer stricken wife's back...well sir, tell me what moral compunctions you think I have that would keep me from being thrilled that an even bigger chum bucket than me is gonna steal all the headlines the same week I'm getting ready to finally come clean? Oprah giveth and Oprah taketh away, baby."

    The alleged 'chum bucket' Phillips could not be reached for immediate comment because his tongue was swollen thick with thousands of maggots and he was being forced to lie face down in Hitler's ass but a spokesperson pointed out that Mackenzie Phillips had made more positive statements about her father recently than Elizabeth Edwards had made about her husband.


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    that's much too coherent for you to make up on your own. link?
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    Does it need a link, asswipe ??

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    It does if you don't want me to boot it over to non, manjuice.

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    I agree. If you're going to post inane shit about has-been politicians who no one gives a shit about anymore, at least put in a link, Elvira, you lazy bedpan switcher....
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    It's a joke article, you fags!!!!

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    How is that different from what you usually post?

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    I dunno...

    Your momma said you would like it...

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    It doesn't need a link. There is nothing more to see about it. But Edwards is a crappy human being. I don't care what his politics are, the man is a piece of shit. Good riddance. Both parties are better off with this guy out of there.
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    Thanks sad...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nickdfresh View Post
    How is that different from what you usually post?


    The racial slurs were missing, for one...
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    So funny I forgot to laugh...

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    We're laughing AT you not WITH you.

    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post
    So funny I forgot to laugh...
    Yeah, yeah..

    So true you had to respond...

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    I gotta pad my posts...

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    Quote Originally Posted by jhale667 View Post


    The racial slurs were missing, for one...
    He made up for it by eventually invoking his homophobia

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dr. Love View Post
    He made up for it by eventually invoking his homophobia
    Good point...

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    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post
    I dunno...

    Your momma said you would like it...
    She also said you were a cunt and that Jesus hates you for your closet faggity...

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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    It doesn't need a link. There is nothing more to see about it. But Edwards is a crappy human being. I don't care what his politics are, the man is a piece of shit. Good riddance. Both parties are better off with this guy out of there.
    What do you think about a real article on Mark Foley getting a radio gig?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nickdfresh View Post
    What do you think about a real article on Mark Foley getting a radio gig?
    When did the pedophiles get their own radio network? And does this mean our old friend Andy will have the "All Duran Duran Request Show" on the same network?
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    John Edwards is like a Kennedy without condoms...
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    Edwards had an affair with some dumb slut posing as a journalist. I don't think it's that big of a deal, but God it would have sunk him if he had been nominated. That being said, who gives a fuck? Since when is getting consenting pussy a huge crime on a Van Halen fan board all of a fucking sudden? The guy didn't fuck his non-existent daughter, and he and his wife suffered the tragic loss of their son years back --which isn't an excuse, but it does make him a bit more sympathetic than that cunt of a South Carolina Gov. that is screwing some Argentine slut posing as a journalist. The same "conservative" hypocrite who raged with moral indignation against Clinton during "Monica-gate"...
    Last edited by Nickdfresh; 09-24-2009 at 11:26 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dr. Love View Post
    It does if you don't want me to boot it over to non, manjuice.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jhale667 View Post


    The racial slurs were missing, for one...
    So says the chicken-legged beerbellied stickboy!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nickdfresh View Post
    Since when is getting consenting pussy a huge crime on a Van Halen fan board all of a fucking sudden?
    Since you gotta go cockblocking for any Democrat for any reason.. why ask why Nakedfrisk?

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    Quote Originally Posted by GAR View Post
    Since you gotta go cockblocking for any Democrat for any reason.. why ask why Nakedfrisk?
    You make about as much sense as Katydid, and are about half as interesting or relevant...

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    You found Katy interesting ???

  31. #27
    Fuck this and fuck that
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    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post
    You found Katy interesting ???
    Compared to GAyR, probably. Her Catholic babbling was slightly more tolerable than his library squatting Klansman routine.

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