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Halestrom – The Strange Case Of (2012)
Strange indeed. How can such a devastating live band – easily one of the best out-and-out rock ‘n’ roll live bands this reviewer has seen in a decade – suck such an unholy amount of dick on record? You sense that this – album number two for Halestrom – was conceived with world-domination in mind. There is a pervasive whiff spreadsheets, focus groups and demographics throughout, and a frankly Disneyfied approach to production which spruces up and buffs what is at heart a dirty rock ‘n’ roll band into a shiny-teeth-and-shinier-shoes product for middle America. Add in the cluster of outside writers (I stopped counting at 14) and you have to ask whether this is a band at all, or just a vehicle to sell units to Wallmart.
There are certainly plenty of radio-friendly unit shifters, albeit spiced with just enough contrived baddassery for this to be filed under ‘(not really) edgy’: ‘Mz Hyde’ is the sort of ‘hard rock’ that makes Evanescence look abrasive – essentially a Katy Perry song with the guitars turned up in the mix, it is an awful display in cynical girl power trading on the gender of front-woman Lzy Hale (I’m sure this is meant to be ‘Lizzy’, but surely it is actually ‘ulzy’?). And the pretense of edge continues – ‘Freak Like Me’ is the way Taylor Swift would sound in punk get-up; and ‘I Miss The Misery’ has a feint twang of the ‘rock’ that comes out of Nashville (i.e. not very rock at all). By the time you get to ‘Rock Show’ you’ll be laughing. And ‘You Call Me A Bitch Like It’s A Bad Thing’ is not just an awful (and rather sexist) idea, it is appalling executed – even the 14 year old girls this is meant to empower will surely see through it in 10 seconds flat? At least Courtney Love meant it…….
And then there’s the ballads. Even Barry Manilow would baulk at these for being too saccharine. ‘Break In’ and ‘Beautiful With You’ are woeful, smaltzy tofu-filled balls of cheese; whilst ‘In Your Room’ was probably passed over by the Partridge Family for being too twee. So why write all of this? Well, the thing is you actually sense that beneath the stylists, and beneath the production, and beneath the ‘hit factory’ songwriting team, Halestrom are a genuinely good rock ‘n’ roll band. Lzy has a sensational voice. Truly, jaw-droppingly brilliant. And when she does wail – as on opener (and best thing here) ‘Love Bites (And So Do I)’ it pierces you, owns you, and takes you with it. And given their live performances, the covers they’ve done (from the obvious [AC/DC] to the not so obvious [Skid Row]) you just know that if they focused on kicking ass rather than selling records they could deliver something very satisfying indeed. As it stands, they’ve made a conundrum. Who is ‘The Strange Case Of’ for? Surely too risque for Wallmart moms and clean-cut America, it is far from dirty enough for the rock ‘n’ roll barflies who should be Halestrom’s natural audience.
So this is not a review, but a plea to Halestrom: play to your strengths. Ditch Howard Benson (actually, shoot him); ditch the outside writers; stop restraining your playing and do it like you do live – solos, caveman drum fills, spit, piss, vinegar and a genuine enthusiasm for the music we all love. When you do that, I’m in. Until then, pass the Meshuggah record………………I’ve gotta get this shit out of my ears.
Strange indeed. How can such a devastating live band – easily one of the best out-and-out rock ‘n’ roll live bands this reviewer has seen in a decade – suck such an unholy amount of dick on record? You sense that this – album number two for Halestrom – was conceived with world-domination in mind. There is a pervasive whiff spreadsheets, focus groups and demographics throughout, and a frankly Disneyfied approach to production which spruces up and buffs what is at heart a dirty rock ‘n’ roll band into a shiny-teeth-and-shinier-shoes product for middle America. Add in the cluster of outside writers (I stopped counting at 14) and you have to ask whether this is a band at all, or just a vehicle to sell units to Wallmart.
There are certainly plenty of radio-friendly unit shifters, albeit spiced with just enough contrived baddassery for this to be filed under ‘(not really) edgy’: ‘Mz Hyde’ is the sort of ‘hard rock’ that makes Evanescence look abrasive – essentially a Katy Perry song with the guitars turned up in the mix, it is an awful display in cynical girl power trading on the gender of front-woman Lzy Hale (I’m sure this is meant to be ‘Lizzy’, but surely it is actually ‘ulzy’?). And the pretense of edge continues – ‘Freak Like Me’ is the way Taylor Swift would sound in punk get-up; and ‘I Miss The Misery’ has a feint twang of the ‘rock’ that comes out of Nashville (i.e. not very rock at all). By the time you get to ‘Rock Show’ you’ll be laughing. And ‘You Call Me A Bitch Like It’s A Bad Thing’ is not just an awful (and rather sexist) idea, it is appalling executed – even the 14 year old girls this is meant to empower will surely see through it in 10 seconds flat? At least Courtney Love meant it…….
And then there’s the ballads. Even Barry Manilow would baulk at these for being too saccharine. ‘Break In’ and ‘Beautiful With You’ are woeful, smaltzy tofu-filled balls of cheese; whilst ‘In Your Room’ was probably passed over by the Partridge Family for being too twee. So why write all of this? Well, the thing is you actually sense that beneath the stylists, and beneath the production, and beneath the ‘hit factory’ songwriting team, Halestrom are a genuinely good rock ‘n’ roll band. Lzy has a sensational voice. Truly, jaw-droppingly brilliant. And when she does wail – as on opener (and best thing here) ‘Love Bites (And So Do I)’ it pierces you, owns you, and takes you with it. And given their live performances, the covers they’ve done (from the obvious [AC/DC] to the not so obvious [Skid Row]) you just know that if they focused on kicking ass rather than selling records they could deliver something very satisfying indeed. As it stands, they’ve made a conundrum. Who is ‘The Strange Case Of’ for? Surely too risque for Wallmart moms and clean-cut America, it is far from dirty enough for the rock ‘n’ roll barflies who should be Halestrom’s natural audience.
So this is not a review, but a plea to Halestrom: play to your strengths. Ditch Howard Benson (actually, shoot him); ditch the outside writers; stop restraining your playing and do it like you do live – solos, caveman drum fills, spit, piss, vinegar and a genuine enthusiasm for the music we all love. When you do that, I’m in. Until then, pass the Meshuggah record………………I’ve gotta get this shit out of my ears.
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