an open "legal"question

[ace diamond]

as per the state of california, county of riverside.

what is the law pertaining to the following:

a certain person i have been friends with for nearly 6 years.
all of a sudden, and out of the blue, i don't exist and any help i have given, in any way, shape or form, does not count, because all of a sudden
after HALF A DECADE, she finally has a SERIOUS SUITOR.
now, i know she is a bit sheltered, and i have tried to protect her
for the last 5 or 6 years from the wrong kind of suitor.
as of recently, the present suitor i actually find to be a decent suitor.

i try to be respectful to them both.

however, all of a sudden i do not exist and everything is my fault.
regardless of fact.
now please bear in mind that i live next door.

there are certain things i gave my word about that i shall take to my grave.
she will reveal those things.
not i.
it is a matter of honor.
now, i know most of you may call bullshit, and may find this very difficult to accept.

i have, at my own peril and expense,
paid her rent in part or in full several times.
paid for groceries for her & her children
many times over.
even though i could not afford to, then or now, and even though they are not my offspring.
this alone cost me at least $2500.00.

then, even though i do not drive, i bought a car from my cousin.
it needed expensive repairs in order to pass a smog test.
i paid $500.00
for the car.
i paid for some of the repairs.

this is between 2004-2006.
i was homeless at the time.
she needed a car.
my cousin had a car she wanted to sell.

i bought the car.
i gave the car away to the "friend" in question.

as a matter of honor,
i have never asked for a single cent in return.
i still do not.
nor will i ever.
however, i want to know what my options are to protect myself legally should she and new boyfriend decide that for some reason,
i owe them anything.
i have given them their privacy.
the only time i am present, is when i have been asked to be there.
or on occassion when i have been granted permission to be present.
otherwise, i have left the 2 of them alone with what little time they
have had together.
i do not interfere. nor will i ever.

the problem is, in order to support and help keep her and her kids
in food and a place to live, i have suffer hunger,homelessness, health,
and my own well being for many years.

i care about my friends that much.

however, as of late, that doesn't seem to matter.
how quickly she forgets what i suffered to help her and her kids.

now look, i am not naming names, nor doling out any personal info
as to anyone other than myself here.

however, i do feel a bit taken for granted to the tune of about $4,000.00.

i do not mention this to her.
ever.

i do bring it up to the new suitor.
if he is going to be a permanant figure in hers and and childrens' lives,
he needs to know.

now, i give him a general accounting.
not counting anything i have sworn my silence over.

he has a rather cheap figure of what this woman has cost me.

if i ever gave him a full and true accounting, i would be breaking my oath.
i will not do that.
however, the pettiness as of late has become terribly stupid.

if anyone has any valid "legal" advice,
it would be greatfully appreciated.

thanks in advance.
ace diamond.

[GAR]

1. You are in a dysfunctional relationship. /not illegal
2. You have been overextended in obligations. /not illegal
3. She is inconsiderate of your needs in the relationship. /not illegal
4. Your kind offer of a car, of your freewill. /not received illegally
5. Sounds like she wisened up after 6 years of your crashing at her place to find a more appropriate relationship. /not illegal
6. An irresponsible adult female with kids moves in some unrelated loser. /not illegal
7. You gave your word not to disseminate any of her confidences, but now that the entertainment factor is more valuable than your word here, you will share these quirks with us. /not illegal
8. Do not give New Dude a general-anything, do not give him another exhale or a thought move on even if the place is in your name. /not illegal (but notify the landlord your posse is cooking meth there so he comes to check out the new living arrangements)
9. Yucaipa is the fucking stix get out.. if you're on permanent SSI or SSD disability, you're getting almost $800 a month which is more than enough to rent a room from Jay and you two can be a sorta Odd Couple guitar-buddies while you save up for a place of your own and get an under-the-table job in unreported income, so as not to fuckup your disability. /no W-2 form, not illegal
10. And fuck the psychological ploy of the kids' welfare interest. Kids are like rubber, they never break and so long as the neighbors have kids also, she doesn't even have to feed 'em. Let that shit go. 6 years of couch-crashing at some ratty broads' pad divided by $4000 thousand bucks isn't even 100 a month.. and you probably eat more than that in a week so fukkit. /no regrets, not illegal

Fukkit!

[twonabomber]

not your woman, not your kids, not your problem.

and why would you ask us about laws pertaining to your locality when you know that fully 99% of us don't live in Riverside County, CA? and maybe 85% don't even live in California?

you're what, 4 grand in the hole to this hole, without even SEEING her hole? and now it sounds like you want him to pay you back? good luck with that, Captain Save-a-ho.

[GAR]

He'll get his own room someplace, work those abs out of that muck of a belly, and get some serious babes riding his knob - and have forgotten about this sow.

May take a few years but its entirely possible!

[ace diamond]

1. You are in a dysfunctional relationship. /not illegal
2. You have been overextended in obligations. /not illegal
3. She is inconsiderate of your needs in the relationship. /not illegal
4. Your kind offer of a car, of your freewill. /not received illegally
5. Sounds like she wisened up after 6 years of your crashing at her place to find a more appropriate relationship. /not illegal
6. An irresponsible adult female with kids moves in some unrelated loser. /not illegal
7. You gave your word not to disseminate any of her confidences, but now that the entertainment factor is more valuable than your word here, you will share these quirks with us. /not illegal
8. Do not give New Dude a general-anything, do not give him another exhale or a thought move on even if the place is in your name. /not illegal (but notify the landlord your posse is cooking meth there so he comes to check out the new living arrangements)
9. Yucaipa is the fucking stix get out.. if you're on permanent SSI or SSD disability, you're getting almost $800 a month which is more than enough to rent a room from Jay and you two can be a sorta Odd Couple guitar-buddies while you save up for a place of your own and get an under-the-table job in unreported income, so as not to fuckup your disability. /no W-2 form, not illegal
10. And fuck the psychological ploy of the kids' welfare interest. Kids are like rubber, they never break and so long as the neighbors have kids also, she doesn't even have to feed 'em. Let that shit go. 6 years of couch-crashing at some ratty broads' pad divided by $4000 thousand bucks isn't even 100 a month.. and you probably eat more than that in a week so fukkit. /no regrets, not illegal

Fukkit!

dude, don't be a dick.
she and i have never lived under the same roof.
gar, that wasn't cool, man.

[ace diamond]

not your woman, not your kids, not your problem.

and why would you ask us about laws pertaining to your locality when you know that fully 99% of us don't live in Riverside County, CA? and maybe 85% don't even live in California?

you're what, 4 grand in the hole to this hole, without even SEEING her hole? and now it sounds like you want him to pay you back? good luck with that, Captain Save-a-ho.

dude, i was just trying to give the guy fair warning.
as for me, i'm done.
6 years of being used and taken advantage of is finished.

well, i figured asking was worth a shot.
better safe than sorry.

what better way to find out something you do not know than to ask questions?

oh well, what's done is done.
that is all.

[jhale667]

First it was troll-on-troll violence, and then...

you're getting almost $800 a month which is more than enough to rent a room from Jay and you two can be a sorta Odd Couple guitar-buddies while you save up for a place of your own and get an under-the-table job in unreported income

Wait, I thought you two were pals? :confused: But wait - Insert your name in there instead of mine and it sounds like troll heaven...guy who can't really play (much) with the guy who says he used to...I smell a sitcom, baby.


Way to treat your friend, dude.

Srsly?
300-lb. weird Internet troll-dude (which actually could describe either of you, but Ace is probably taller) crashing on my couch indefinitely?

/not illegal./Not happening.

Speaking of guitar-buddies, can I just quote this in your crybaby thread in Gear Street, and you two can just go at it in there? Oh, pretty please?

[Susie Q]

I honestly didn't read the entire post, as about the middle of it I gave up. I got to the "I was homeless and I bought this chick a car".

Come ON Ace, at what point are you going to stop with really insipid, delusional, and overly dramatic horseshit?! Do you really believe this to be fact Ace? I'm mean REALLY?!

This is why you get your ass handed to you at every given opportunity.

Fucksakes already!!

[ThrillsNSpills]

as per the state of california, county of riverside.

what is the law pertaining to the following:

a certain person i have been friends with for nearly 6 years.
all of a sudden, and out of the blue, i don't exist and any help i have given, in any way, shape or form, does not count, because all of a sudden
after HALF A DECADE, she finally has a SERIOUS SUITOR.
now, i know she is a bit sheltered, and i have tried to protect her
for the last 5 or 6 years from the wrong kind of suitor.
as of recently, the present suitor i actually find to be a decent suitor.

i try to be respectful to them both.

however, all of a sudden i do not exist and everything is my fault.
regardless of fact.
now please bear in mind that i live next door.

there are certain things i gave my word about that i shall take to my grave.
she will reveal those things.
not i.
it is a matter of honor.
now, i know most of you may call bullshit, and may find this very difficult to accept.

i have, at my own peril and expense,
paid her rent in part or in full several times.
paid for groceries for her & her children
many times over.
even though i could not afford to, then or now, and even though they are not my offspring.
this alone cost me at least $2500.00.

then, even though i do not drive, i bought a car from my cousin.
it needed expensive repairs in order to pass a smog test.
i paid $500.00
for the car.
i paid for some of the repairs.

this is between 2004-2006.
i was homeless at the time.
she needed a car.
my cousin had a car she wanted to sell.

i bought the car.
i gave the car away to the "friend" in question.

as a matter of honor,
i have never asked for a single cent in return.
i still do not.
nor will i ever.
however, i want to know what my options are to protect myself legally should she and new boyfriend decide that for some reason,
i owe them anything.
i have given them their privacy.
the only time i am present, is when i have been asked to be there.
or on occassion when i have been granted permission to be present.
otherwise, i have left the 2 of them alone with what little time they
have had together.
i do not interfere. nor will i ever.

the problem is, in order to support and help keep her and her kids
in food and a place to live, i have suffer hunger,homelessness, health,
and my own well being for many years.

i care about my friends that much.

however, as of late, that doesn't seem to matter.
how quickly she forgets what i suffered to help her and her kids.

now look, i am not naming names, nor doling out any personal info
as to anyone other than myself here.

however, i do feel a bit taken for granted to the tune of about $4,000.00.

i do not mention this to her.
ever.

i do bring it up to the new suitor.
if he is going to be a permanant figure in hers and and childrens' lives,
he needs to know.

now, i give him a general accounting.
not counting anything i have sworn my silence over.

he has a rather cheap figure of what this woman has cost me.

if i ever gave him a full and true accounting, i would be breaking my oath.
i will not do that.
however, the pettiness as of late has become terribly stupid.

if anyone has any valid "legal" advice,
it would be greatfully appreciated.

thanks in advance.
ace diamond.

whoops .
I wasn't paying attention.
What's going on.

-Judge Wapner's little helper

[thome]

Increase this from one woman to 25.

Add 5 crystal chandeliers...(my metaphore for houses) KNOW YOUR thome!

Then come talk to me.

If you didn't loan her money with a written check and note in the corner "loan".Or make her sign a long term payback for the car. Even "when you get the money you can pay me back".

You got nothing to take to court.


You helped her of your own free will, count it off as a loss and move on to the next .....

If your lucky this won't be your last, Boat.

[Susie Q]

Increase this from one woman to 25.

Add 5 crystal chandeliers...(my metaphore for houses) KNOW YOUR thome!

Then come talk to me.

If you didn't loan her money with a written check and note in the corner "loan".Or make her sign a long term payback for the car. Even "when you get the money you can pay me back".

You got nothing to take to court.


You helped her of your own free will, count it off as a loss and move on to the next .....

If your lucky this won't be your last, Boat.

This is what I am talkin' about, Thome postin' coherent stuff, which is why I go to bat for him as much as I do.

I am givin' you a Thank You Thome cause ya deserve it.

[Dr. Love]

Ace, I'm not really sure what legal advice you were asking for. Your post seems to indicate you did it all you did out of the kindness of your heart and that you weren't going to ask for it back.

My feeling is that you've been taught an important and valuable lesson and that you paid several thousand dollars for the course. If I were you, I'd consider the tuition paid, the lesson learned and go on. Most likely she'll be back asking for more. I hope you've learned to say no.

[ZahZoo]

Running a special on advice...

If you gave the things you claim to have to this woman out of the kindness of your heart. Then leave it at that. Feel good about it and move on.

If you are looking to recoup your investment now that another dog has taken up squating rights... forget it. Refer back to the previous paragraph...

If you feel slighted and cast to the side now because this woman is no longer dependent on your good nature... oh well. Welcome to real life. Refer back to paragraph 1...

Not sure what legal advise you are seeking... these people can't come after you for more unless you are willing or stupid enough to invest anything of yourself to them. Nothing legal for anyone...

If all that stuff is true, you did a nice thing. She's got a man and don't need your helping hand. Move on. Fuck them... Find a new project to support. Get a job. Get a life. Forget about the woman... Your work is done there.

[ThrillsNSpills]

Imagine what you gave to her will be returned to you 10 fold in it's own time.

[ace diamond]

thanks for the input.
all of you.