Artie Lange's Suicide Attempt

[Mr Walker]

Boy... this is a real brutal way to do it...
Artie really is a broken man that cannot be fixed.

Stern sidekick in suicide try

Posted: 12:19 AM, January 7, 2010
Troubled comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt, sources told The Post. Lange's frantic mom called 911 Saturday morning after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found the bloodied funnyman, a law-enforcement source said. Lange sustained six "hesitation wounds" and three deep plunges. A source close to Lange's management team confirmed that the Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mother had come to visit him that day to drop off food. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding. "We all have our demons," Stern said on-air this week, referring to Lange's past battles with addiction. "Artie has given this show tremendous moments of great comedy. He's a tremendous contributor. He is a good man. Don't forget how great he is."

[VanHalener]

What a douche. Everyone knows the best way to whack yourself is by using a cheese grater.

[Susie Q]

Comics are the most depressed artists out there, I swear. Ever hear of the old addage, "A clown laughs on the outside and cries on the inside."

[Igosplut]

Freddy Prince comes to mind......

[Va Beach VH Fan]

So the guy makes a living cutting people down, and now I'm supposed to feel sorry for him ??

[GAR]

Freddy Prince comes to mind......

"Prinze" you zit-encrusted pearshaped meth-head...

[GAR]

So the guy makes a living cutting people down, and now I'm supposed to feel sorry for him ??

I guess all that fortune and fame, women, realestate..

oh who'm I kidding.

Howard Stern did it.

[Igosplut]

"Prinze" you zit-encrusted pearshaped meth-head...

Gee, I misspelled his name....Silly me.

Too bad (for you) he didn't ask for help online...


You could have coached him on how many ways he could kill himself. You like shit like that....

[BITEYOASS]

Hell, another fat comedian is going down the same path of Farley and Belushi. Un-fuckin believable!

[GAR]

I'm creative like that, Igloo cmon! Dont be such a sourpuss.

[GAR]

Hell, another fat comedian is going down the same path of Farley and Belushi. Un-fuckin believable!

What's unbelievable really is that he's gotten recognition for NOT being very funny at all, he's an insult machine not a comedian.

[Mr Walker]

Hell, another fat comedian is going down the same path of Farley and Belushi. Un-fuckin believable!

The real comedy of the situation is that he can't go down that path.
No matter how hard he tries... he won't die.
No one should feel sorry for him.

[GAR]

Stern should discuss the event all week, and laugh and make laughs about it then invite Artie to stab himself live.

Only Artie should stab everyone in the room thrashing out wildly for ruining his good name, his life, his income and everything.

get the knife Artie
get the knife

doit doit doit

[PETE'S BROTHER]

Hell, another fat comedian is going down the same path of Farley and Belushi. Un-fuckin believable!

i believe farley's o.d. was accidental, belushi...not so sure.

[bluemustard]

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[thome]

He is just a stooge for Stern who thought he was something more than that.

Sad really, just reminds me of a fat junkie who would sukker punch a wino for his booze.

He is a fellow human in pain due to his own demons real or immagined so get well whatever you are.

I never got Stern I think he is a bore NY'ers must be the most desperate stuck up dou=chebags in the nation .

Because they are and he is in NY they think they are the sh!t.

But, just like most media people; power to them all, for finding a cash cow in making assholes think they are cool.

[lesfunk]

Stern says " I would really like to know who the scumbag is who put this story out..."
What he means to say is " I would really like to know who the scumbag is who put this story out before me!"

It's O.k. When Stern is making a joke about everybody else's problems, but when it happens to one of his loser buddys nobody should say anything.

Fuck them both. The chickens came home to roost. I wouldn't mind seeing something bad happen to Howard. Karma's a bitch eh?

[chefcraig]

A little over a year ago, Rolling Stone published an article on Lange, detailing his unhinged way of dealing with life (basically, by not dealing with it through heroin use). It was a fairly disturbing piece, so much so that anyone who read it at the time would not have been surprised by the events of this week.

You can read the complete column at this link: America's Biggest Loser

[ThrillsNSpills]

He needs around the clock surveillance since he's gone with this cycle for years. He was like this before Howard so linking them is unfair in this case.
Howard and Robin were talking like he passed away at times.
I haven't heard this show in years and Marianne from Brooklyn is still the bearer of the most annoying voice in history.
But what a fluke that Artie's mother walked in when she did or he'd be gone.

[Igosplut]

A little over a year ago, Rolling Stone published an article on Lange, detailing his unhinged way of dealing with life (basically, by not dealing with it through heroin use). It was a fairly disturbing piece, so much so that anyone who read it at the time would not have been surprised by the events of this week.

You can read the complete column at this link: America's Biggest Loser

That's quite the sad interview I'd say.

[thome]

He is probably just keeping quite about the drug dealer collection agent who got tired of his skipping around paying his dope bill.

He is young enough to get his sh!t together and sock some cashe away 'caus e outside of this gig (Stern) he is just a street junkie.

I turned the channel nearly everytime he appeared on Mad TV.

He gets kicked off the show then wrangles a 3 min skit back on the show and the comedy is about getting kicked off the show and it wasn't funny or entertaining just struck me as there are lots of talented people who could use this gig and if you weren't -Sterns Monkey- you wouldn't be anywhere.

The dope elevates your personna of yourself .

Soon you believe you are more than just a side monkey in a clown car.

and there is good money in, buisiness side car monkey ...

[Mr Walker]

But what a fluke that Artie's mother walked in when she did or he'd be gone.

She's the one I feel sorry for... first her husband falls off a ladder and spends quite some time as a quadrapalegic before passing away and now she has to put up with this nonsense from her son.

[Kristy]

i believe farley's o.d. was accidental, belushi...not so sure.

I'd call Belushi's death a "characterization suicide" in that he didn't know how to stop being John Belushi. Um, in other words, his recognition came from him being notorious from heavy drinking and heavy drug use; he was lauded for it so much so that Belushi thought himself as being indestructible so he was always pushing the limits of his previous drug usage until his body said "fuck this, I"m outta of here."

Farley's death was more of a cause to his obesity in that his heart was already pumping more than it should to get the oxygen going to his adipose tissues. When you compile that with drugs that are nervous system depressants in that they will slow the heart rate down further there's not much chance you're going to be breathing much longer.

As for Lange, it's hard to have any compassion or sympathy for the guy in that unlike most comedians, he's had a lot of breaks and fortunate circumstance happen to him. I'm not downplaying his depression or what he did to himself but the guy seems to be loved by many and he had avenues to seek help.

[ThrillsNSpills]

As for Lange, it's hard to have any compassion or sympathy for the guy in that unlike most comedians, he's had a lot of breaks and fortunate circumstance happen to him. I'm not downplaying his depression or what he did to himself but the guy seems to be loved by many and he had avenues to seek help.

That's a great point. A lot of people who seek this level of success do so to feel better about themselves and in a lot of cases they attain it, get the mass adulation and still feel crummy or have the "is that all it is" mentality.
There are countless examples of this in show biz people we've seen over the years.

[Kristy]

A little over a year ago, Rolling Stone published an article on Lange, detailing his unhinged way of dealing with life (basically, by not dealing with it through heroin use).

What gets me after reading that is is what Lange himself who thought his "chaotic life" was funny. Maybe it's instant fame and money, maybe it's instant notoriety, maybe many people can't have success in their lives and be happy. And why he did such hardcore drug(s) like heroin without being arrested is beyond me. It's like what Steve Earle said after being busted for cocaine (he was also a heroin user) in that it was the best thing to ever happen to him where he became clean, sober and wrote some of his best albums (in my opinion) after his release.

Lange should have had his ass kicked after that interview (and seek some serious therapy of cutting the apron strings with his mother). Nobody "dabbles" in heroin without paying a price; think of it as having a lap dance with a beautiful women who turns out to be Rosanne Barr and puts a knife in your back. Plus, drugs don't make you remotely interesting, creative or clever. Instead, they screw up talent, fuck you in the eye socket leaving your life shattered and fucked. Always baffles me why we praise people like this who do such shit to themselves.

[Diamondjimi]

The guy needs some serious help. He didn't want to die. Hows that? Well HE called 911 and should've simply OD'd if he wanted to die.

Can't help but think of this song when I hear shit like this...

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You say there ain't no use in livin'
It's all a waste of time
'n you wanna throw your life away, well
People that's just fine
Go ahead on 'n get it over with then
Find you a bridge 'n take a jump
Just make sure you do it right the first time
'cause nothin's worse than a suicide
Chump

You say there ain't no light a-shinin'
Through the bushes up ahead
'n we're all gonna be so sorry
When we find out you are dead
Go head on and get it over with then
Find you a bridge 'n take a jump
Just make sure you do it right the first
Time
'cause nothin's worse than a suicide
Chump

Now maybe you're scared of jumpin'
'n poison makes you sick
'n you want a little attention
'n you need it pretty quick
Don't wanna mess your face up
Or we won't know if it's you
Aw there's just so much to worry about
Now what you gonna do?

Go head on 'n get it over with then
Go head on 'n get it over with then
Go head on 'n get it over with then
Go head on 'n get it over with then

[ThrillsNSpills]

She's the one I feel sorry for... first her husband falls off a ladder and spends quite some time as a quadrapalegic before passing away and now she has to put up with this nonsense from her son.

Yeah definately. They had that experience with the father that nobody can completely get over plus the if only syndrome. If it was only a few years later artie could have retired his father. I read some of Artie's book and it seems he was never in the ballpark of getting over his Dad's problem or being able to deal with it at all. Artie had a dazzling amount of breaks that seemingly he was subconsciously trying to sabotage at the same time, dragging his work buddies through it as well.

[chefcraig]

I'd call Belushi's death a "characterization suicide" in that he didn't know how to stop being John Belushi. Um, in other words, his recognition came from him being notorious from heavy drinking and heavy drug use; he was lauded for it so much so that Belushi thought himself as being indestructible so he was always pushing the limits of his previous drug usage until his body said "fuck this, I"m outta of here."

The correct term for Belushi's death was murder. As I recall, some "hanger-on" type of woman admitted to injecting him with a fatal concoction, and ended up serving time in prison for her efforts. Yet I agree with what you are saying. This whole selfish idea of needing to push the limits of excess to absurd levels never ceases to amaze me, but oddly (by the same token) does not surprise me when the net result is a pointless and needless death. Ultimately, it was Belushi himself that created the circumstances for his end. How he got there or who assisted him along the way by and large is irrelevant. And more is the pity, I guess.

[Kristy]

Ultimately, it was Belushi himself that created the circumstances for his end.

Exactly. And his "murder" was by of his own design if that makes sense. Wasn't he doing "speedballs" or "snowballs" which is basically a mixture of cocaine and heroin in that after one injection you're too fucked up to do another?

Drugs actually scare me. Not so much a stoner taking a toke or two after midnight (guilty) but pill heads, meth fuck-ups and those who "dabble" into the harder narcotics. Pill-heads if anything are becoming the norm with more and more popping Oxycotin like candy - and I seriously believe that drug fucks up you brain chemistry. Anyone remember Wynona Rider cutting tags off of $2,500 designer dresses at Saks Fifth Ave? Bizarre behavior indeed.

[Mr Walker]

The guy needs some serious help. He didn't want to die. Hows that? Well HE called 911 and should've simply OD'd if he wanted to die.

The way I read it, his mother let herself in to drop off some food and found him in a pool of blood and she called 911.

Wonder if Stern will play that 911 call... probably not.

Maybe he really has some deep seeded mental health issues... far beyond depression. Stabbing yourself is such a brutal, angry way to attempt suicide and it really is different than some kind of superficial goth-emo adolescent cry for attention. The only times I've had experiences with self stabbings like this involve psychosis and hallucinations... now that I think about it... I bet he relapsed on heroin and was in the middle of some kind of self-detox that cause him to act so psychotically.

[twonabomber]

i was guessing it was an OD or this.

Howard won't play the 911 call, he didn't get through the article. i'm sure the other morning show on Sirius is having a good time with this.

[Mr Walker]

i was guessing it was an OD or this.

Howard won't play the 911 call, he didn't get through the article. i'm sure the other morning show on Sirius is having a good time with this.

I would be curious to see what they were saying... although they play for rival teams, I think that Jim Norton and Artie were pretty respectful of each other.

[Va Beach VH Fan]

John Belushi was a fucking comedic genius, don't use this scumbag in the same breath with him.....

[High Life Man]

Read "the Chris Farley Show".

His problems, like Artie, stem from father issues.

So much talent, just a complete waste.

[Vinnie Velvet]

The correct term for Belushi's death was murder. As I recall, some "hanger-on" type of woman admitted to injecting him with a fatal concoction, and ended up serving time in prison for her efforts.

That was the "speedball", right?

Other than that chick Belushi was with, his buddy Robin Williams (who was also a druggie) was the last to see him alive.

[Nitro Express]

Most comedians with weird personalities usually have some deep seated issues. They really are deeply disturbed people with a lot of inner pain and they make a living venting it. The warning signs is in their act. You can see the suicide or drug overdose coming and it should be no shock when that happens.

[Nitro Express]

Satalite radio is going broke. XM merged with Sirrus but it's going down and they are contracted to pay Howard Stern lot's of money. If the US Government bails this failure out and our tax dollars go to pay Howard Stern his fat check, I'm going to be pissed.

Stern was a cute novelty but the world has gone insane and frankly the juvanile act is old.

[Nitro Express]

New York is nothing more than Wall Street criminals, smug media types, spoiled yuppie artsy fartsy types living on their inheritance, arrogant advertising people, lot's of people on welfare, and a few decent working class people who actual keep the whole mess running and I wonder why they bother to put up with it. I guess it's home.

[Nitro Express]

That was the "speedball", right?

Other than that chick Belushi was with, his buddy Robin Williams (who was also a druggie) was the last to see him alive.

When I was in college I found myself laying down on a bed drunk off my ass with the room spinning. I had bad bed spins and this prick that looked like Robin Williams jumped in the bed with me and wanted to have gay sex. I punch him in the face and went to the bathroom and puked.

[Nitro Express]

That's a great point. A lot of people who seek this level of success do so to feel better about themselves and in a lot of cases they attain it, get the mass adulation and still feel crummy or have the "is that all it is" mentality.
There are countless examples of this in show biz people we've seen over the years.

Money buys physical comfort but many who achieve success actually worry about losing it. The old story of once you have had wealth and lost it, it is better to not have had it in the first place. You also get used to success and take it for granted and you have the resources to go full steam ahead with your bad habits. Money is nothing more than a multiplier. You want to ruin someone, give an unstable person a lot of money.