Artie Lange's Suicide Attempt

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  • Mr Walker
    Crazy Ass Mofo
    • Jan 2004
    • 2536

    Artie Lange's Suicide Attempt

    Boy... this is a real brutal way to do it...
    Artie really is a broken man that cannot be fixed.

    Stern sidekick in suicide try

    Posted: 12:19 AM, January 7, 2010
    Troubled comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt, sources told The Post. Lange's frantic mom called 911 Saturday morning after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found the bloodied funnyman, a law-enforcement source said. Lange sustained six "hesitation wounds" and three deep plunges. A source close to Lange's management team confirmed that the Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mother had come to visit him that day to drop off food. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding. "We all have our demons," Stern said on-air this week, referring to Lange's past battles with addiction. "Artie has given this show tremendous moments of great comedy. He's a tremendous contributor. He is a good man. Don't forget how great he is."
  • VanHalener
    ROCKSTAR

    • Nov 2006
    • 5451

    #2
    What a douche. Everyone knows the best way to whack yourself is by using a cheese grater.
    ~Only you can prevent low volume~

    Comment

    • Susie Q
      Veteran
      • Jan 2004
      • 1522

      #3
      Comics are the most depressed artists out there, I swear. Ever hear of the old addage, "A clown laughs on the outside and cries on the inside."

      I try like hell to keep things all fluffy bunnies and pink daisies. But brutal truth smacks me in the ass all the time.
      ~Susie Q 2009

      Comment

      • Igosplut
        ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

        • Jan 2004
        • 2793

        #4
        Freddy Prince comes to mind......
        Chainsaw Muthuafucka

        Comment

        • Va Beach VH Fan
          ROTH ARMY FOUNDER
          • Dec 2003
          • 17913

          #5
          So the guy makes a living cutting people down, and now I'm supposed to feel sorry for him ??
          Eat Us And Smile - The Originals

          "I have a very belligerent enthusiasm or an enthusiastic belligerence. I’m an intellectual slut." - David Lee Roth

          "We are part of the, not just the culture, but the geography. Van Halen music goes along with like fries with the burger." - David Lee Roth

          Comment

          • GAR
            Banned
            • Jan 2004
            • 10849

            #6
            Originally posted by Igosplut
            Freddy Prince comes to mind......
            "Prinze" you zit-encrusted pearshaped meth-head...

            Comment

            • GAR
              Banned
              • Jan 2004
              • 10849

              #7
              Originally posted by Va Beach VH Fan
              So the guy makes a living cutting people down, and now I'm supposed to feel sorry for him ??
              I guess all that fortune and fame, women, realestate..

              oh who'm I kidding.

              Howard Stern did it.

              Comment

              • Igosplut
                ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

                • Jan 2004
                • 2793

                #8
                Originally posted by GAR
                "Prinze" you zit-encrusted pearshaped meth-head...
                Gee, I misspelled his name....Silly me.

                Too bad (for you) he didn't ask for help online...


                You could have coached him on how many ways he could kill himself. You like shit like that....
                Chainsaw Muthuafucka

                Comment

                • BITEYOASS
                  ROTH ARMY ELITE
                  • Jan 2004
                  • 6531

                  #9
                  Hell, another fat comedian is going down the same path of Farley and Belushi. Un-fuckin believable!

                  Comment

                  • GAR
                    Banned
                    • Jan 2004
                    • 10849

                    #10
                    I'm creative like that, Igloo cmon! Dont be such a sourpuss.

                    Comment

                    • GAR
                      Banned
                      • Jan 2004
                      • 10849

                      #11
                      Originally posted by BITEYOASS
                      Hell, another fat comedian is going down the same path of Farley and Belushi. Un-fuckin believable!
                      What's unbelievable really is that he's gotten recognition for NOT being very funny at all, he's an insult machine not a comedian.

                      Comment

                      • Mr Walker
                        Crazy Ass Mofo
                        • Jan 2004
                        • 2536

                        #12
                        Originally posted by BITEYOASS
                        Hell, another fat comedian is going down the same path of Farley and Belushi. Un-fuckin believable!
                        The real comedy of the situation is that he can't go down that path.
                        No matter how hard he tries... he won't die.
                        No one should feel sorry for him.

                        Comment

                        • GAR
                          Banned
                          • Jan 2004
                          • 10849

                          #13
                          Stern should discuss the event all week, and laugh and make laughs about it then invite Artie to stab himself live.

                          Only Artie should stab everyone in the room thrashing out wildly for ruining his good name, his life, his income and everything.

                          get the knife Artie
                          get the knife

                          doit doit doit

                          Comment

                          • PETE'S BROTHER
                            DIAMOND STATUS
                            • Feb 2007
                            • 12682

                            #14
                            Originally posted by BITEYOASS
                            Hell, another fat comedian is going down the same path of Farley and Belushi. Un-fuckin believable!
                            i believe farley's o.d. was accidental, belushi...not so sure.
                            Another one of those classic genius posts, sure to generate responses. You log on the next day to see what your witty gem has produced to find no one gets it and 2 knotheads want to stick their dicks in it... Well played, sir!!

                            Comment

                            • bluemustard
                              Veteran
                              • Mar 2006
                              • 1762

                              #15
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