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I just finished the merging of several types of amplifier modification with an ace physics student and metal fan out of Long Beach tech who was down on his pot levels, but up on killing people drawn to hurting others in mosh pits at deathmetal shows.. and the occasional roadie retard.
It all started when I placed an ad for a guy who really, really knows tube amps, but all I could pay was in pot.
So that's how I met Hakan. He's from Ukraine, and pretty naiive about people from Los Angeles yanking his chain. But he knows how to derive equations for high-gain tube amps and probably thinks he's getting the better end of the deal because everytime I stop by to check up on my amps, I could tell the guys' been smokin alot of my dope away.
We got to a point in the first amp now where I like it: kinda Dieselly on lead channel, and glassy blackface Twin Reverby on the second.. then I tell him the bad news "Dude, I have to kill people with this amp."
Leave me be he says, I give to you.
"You give to me? What give to you me do you mean?"
He takes a strong hit and motions me out the screen door You come back Moondee, Moondee he he hee.. I didn't know what this meant until yesterday.
So monday came and I stopped by, he's got two of my four stacks setup in the garage, plus a heap of old discarded microwave chassis by the trash next to it and I begin to grow a little worried going inside.
"Ukee, ukee you play geetah how you like eeynd I make deez eeydustments ukee.." Hakan geev me geetah I plug in.. and seeing how he's cut my grille cloth in the center with a big fucking hole in it I'm plenty ticked to boot.
But I play geetah.
Eet syounds emayzeenk. Just amazing, I click one footswitch, both heads silently switch to dirty.
Then he brings in a birdcage with a rat in it "Now you play keel. Play to keel ukee?" an puts it on a box directly in front of the new hole.
As I start bomping open E and G chords, I begin to smell a moldy hairdryer smell which was interesting because I didn't order the Smellovision and started to sweat that maybe Hakan was just a HAKK and my transformers are melting.. then I looked at the rat and I could see the fur melting.
Then a full roll of the volume knob, and the thing literally MELTED in front of me. My jaw dropped!
I played for little over a minute, while watching this poor creature become BBQ stewed in it's own juices.
"Yah we make here Carcinotron, eez a backwave-oscillator cabinet now. I take only two microwave each cab from tubes output, before speaker, now you got electron-speaker-gun. I need $300 for parts.. and more skunkweed if you please."
This is obviously a joke, how'd you do it? "Eez ez NAH joke, uhkee. Eez killing machine for metal, you don't like?"
Now prior to this, I should add: all I ever expected was retubing and possibly new filter caps - but after discussing the old Ted Nugent boast of his amps exploding a stray pigeon that accidentally flew past.. and I said how cool would that be if you could roast the thing mid-air.. he surprised me with an amp that also is gonna be a great beam-weapon for crowd control!!
Spent all day with him today cooking steaks and building extra dummy cabs with added focusing lenses for greater pressure and water cooler lines.. for being fairly antisocial psychotic types, we're getting along fairly well on this project.
I'
It all started when I placed an ad for a guy who really, really knows tube amps, but all I could pay was in pot.
So that's how I met Hakan. He's from Ukraine, and pretty naiive about people from Los Angeles yanking his chain. But he knows how to derive equations for high-gain tube amps and probably thinks he's getting the better end of the deal because everytime I stop by to check up on my amps, I could tell the guys' been smokin alot of my dope away.
We got to a point in the first amp now where I like it: kinda Dieselly on lead channel, and glassy blackface Twin Reverby on the second.. then I tell him the bad news "Dude, I have to kill people with this amp."
Leave me be he says, I give to you.
"You give to me? What give to you me do you mean?"
He takes a strong hit and motions me out the screen door You come back Moondee, Moondee he he hee.. I didn't know what this meant until yesterday.
So monday came and I stopped by, he's got two of my four stacks setup in the garage, plus a heap of old discarded microwave chassis by the trash next to it and I begin to grow a little worried going inside.
"Ukee, ukee you play geetah how you like eeynd I make deez eeydustments ukee.." Hakan geev me geetah I plug in.. and seeing how he's cut my grille cloth in the center with a big fucking hole in it I'm plenty ticked to boot.
But I play geetah.
Eet syounds emayzeenk. Just amazing, I click one footswitch, both heads silently switch to dirty.
Then he brings in a birdcage with a rat in it "Now you play keel. Play to keel ukee?" an puts it on a box directly in front of the new hole.
As I start bomping open E and G chords, I begin to smell a moldy hairdryer smell which was interesting because I didn't order the Smellovision and started to sweat that maybe Hakan was just a HAKK and my transformers are melting.. then I looked at the rat and I could see the fur melting.
Then a full roll of the volume knob, and the thing literally MELTED in front of me. My jaw dropped!
I played for little over a minute, while watching this poor creature become BBQ stewed in it's own juices.
"Yah we make here Carcinotron, eez a backwave-oscillator cabinet now. I take only two microwave each cab from tubes output, before speaker, now you got electron-speaker-gun. I need $300 for parts.. and more skunkweed if you please."
This is obviously a joke, how'd you do it? "Eez ez NAH joke, uhkee. Eez killing machine for metal, you don't like?"
Now prior to this, I should add: all I ever expected was retubing and possibly new filter caps - but after discussing the old Ted Nugent boast of his amps exploding a stray pigeon that accidentally flew past.. and I said how cool would that be if you could roast the thing mid-air.. he surprised me with an amp that also is gonna be a great beam-weapon for crowd control!!
Spent all day with him today cooking steaks and building extra dummy cabs with added focusing lenses for greater pressure and water cooler lines.. for being fairly antisocial psychotic types, we're getting along fairly well on this project.
I'
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