The Ultimate Fretboard Masturbation Thread....

[Diamondjimi]

Youtube is rampant with dudes claiming to be the fastest in the world.
It's gotten waaay outta hand. Most of it is some of the funniest shit on the net...

Now there's good speed and there's bad speed. Let's expose all of it shall we?!

Let's start off with this joker...
Sheer WANKING!

[Diamondjimi]

WOW!!!

[Diamondjimi]

Sheer insanity!!!!

[Panamark]

That last guy sounds like when you have a mosquito buzzing around
your head when you are trying to sleep. You know the one, the fucker
that you can never find when you turn on the light but when you
get back into beds with the lights off, out he comes again !!

FUCK !!

[Diamondjimi]

I hear ya there. How much of their waking hours do these guys spend/waste to gravitate to this height of absurdity?

[Panamark]

It would be understandable if what they were playing was actually enjoyable to listen to ??
Great argument for less equals more..
I would rather listen to Dave Gilmour's slowest solo than any of these so far..
Yngwie has a lot to answer for !!

[Seshmeister]

Sheer insanity!!!!

In the 320 BPM version he clearly misses an G in the 31st bar and stubs a B at the 82nd.

[Panamark]

Yeah I noticed that too but had a feeling you would also find it annoying, and I didn't want to
deny you your post Seshman

[VanHalenFan5150]

I thought this thread was about fast masturbating. Lol. My bad.

But yes, there are too many people on YT claiming to be the fastest.

[Diamondjimi]

In the 320 BPM version he clearly misses an G in the 31st bar and stubs a B at the 82nd.

You cought that,eh?!

[Panamark]

I thought this thread was about fast masturbating. Lol. My bad.

But yes, there are too many people on YT claiming to be the fastest.

It is about widdly widdly wankery......
Sure its impressive, but not expressive
these dudes are playing the same scales./modes/patterns
up and down a step. The end effect is you think, ok, that
sounds like a pentatonic minor, ooh now he is playing it
down two frets...

No heart and soul. I totally believe there is a place forever for
these techniques, but change it around a bit dudes ??

Lets take Randy Rhoads, he used a lot of these techniques
but there was pure soul with his variation and phrasing
in the solo's... These fuckers sound like sequencers.

[jhale667]

That's what distinguishes the greats...even when they're playing something technical, it serves the song and most importantly, sounds MUSICAL rather than like someone doing exercises...

[Reverberator]

I can wank really fast , but I try not to anymore as I keep missing the tissue and it's ruining the carpet.

[Diamondjimi]

I can wank really fast , but I try not to anymore as I keep missing the tissue and it's ruining the carpet.

Classic Verbie!

[jhale667]

This guy is the king of the silly wank. Mattias Ia Eklundh :