Lohan going to jail for 90 days!

[Diamondjimi]

Enough with your jailhouse fantasies GARfail...

Back to jail she goes....



Arrest warrant issued for Lindsay Lohan

1 hour, 40 minutes ago

By The Associated Press


BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. - A judge on Monday issued an arrest warrant for Lindsay Lohan after the actress acknowledged failing a drug test.

The 24-year-old actress could wind up back behind bars if she is found to have violated probation.

Superior Court Judge Elden Fox issued the bench warrant in Beverly Hills, but Lohan will remain free pending a Friday court hearing, according to officials from Los Angeles County Superior Court.

A message left with Lohan's attorney was not immediately returned.

Read more here...

[hambon4lif]

I'll never understand peoples obsession with this broad, and what she does.

If Alfred E. Neuman was a cokehead with tits, he'd look mysteriously like Lohan......

[Diamondjimi]

She should skip mainstream Hollywood film and go directly to hardcore porn. She could ingest all the cocaine and pussy she craves and nobody would give two shits...

[PETE'S BROTHER]

she's goin' back...

http://omg.yahoo.com/news/lohan-to-be-charged-with-grand-theft/55931?nc

LOS ANGELES - Prosecutors said Tuesday they plan to charge Lindsay Lohan with felony grand theft of a $2,500 necklace reported stolen from a jewelry store last month — the most serious count the actress has faced in more than three years of trouble with the law.

District Attorney's spokeswoman Jane Robison said the charge will be filed Wednesday. Lohan, 24, is due in court for an arraignment on Wednesday afternoon.

Los Angeles police said Feb. 2 that Lohan was under investigation for taking a necklace from a Venice store later identified as Kamofie and Co. Detectives obtained a search warrant to try to retrieve the item from Lohan's home, but it was turned in to a police station before any search was made.

Police said they had no update on the case Tuesday and did not say whether the actress had made arrangements to turn herself in at court or at a police station.

Robison said bail would be decided by a judge.

A phone message to Lohan's attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley, was not immediately returned. Holley has previously denied any wrongdoing by Lohan.

"We vehemently deny these allegations and, if charges are filed, we will fight them in court, not in the press," Holley said in a statement released Saturday.

The new case represents the most serious charges the "Mean Girls" star has ever faced. Arrested twice in 2007, Lohan was charged with drunken driving and drug possession, but both were misdemeanors.

Lohan remains on probation for drunken driving. A judge had threatened to throw her in jail if she ran into trouble again.

Prosecutors in Riverside County have been considering whether to press charges against Lohan for a December altercation with a worker from the Betty Ford Center, where she was being treated.

[hambon4lif]

If they keep throwing this bitch in the can, she's gonna go from lipstick to lumberjack.

Why didn't she just ask me for a necklace? I would've gave her one for free......

[chefcraig]

Don't these jewelry stores usually have security cameras in place? If so and there is evidence, Lohan just may have replaced Winona Ryder as America's Favorite Kleptomaniac Actress.

[Little Texan]

Why can't this stupid bitch stay off drugs and out of trouble? I hope they sentence her to 10 to 20 years this time so that I don't have to hear about the goofy bitch any more!

[kwame k]

Lohan and jail time...........some people call this news, I call it Wednesday!

[PETE'S BROTHER]

whatever, dude.

ace broke the thread...

[PETE'S BROTHER]

hey, kwame. it's thursday...

Amidst throngs of reporters, fans, and curious onlookers, Lindsay Lohan showed up for her arraignment on felony grand theft charges with every intention of owning the spotlight Wednesday in Los Angeles. Sporting a figure-hugging white knit Kimberly Ovitz mini dress paired with black pumps, Chanel sunglasses, newly-colored tresses, and a spray tan, there was no way you could miss her.

The mid-thigh length dress was universally criticized by fashion and news sites across the web. TMZ.com likened it to Sharon Stone's infamous "Basic Instinct" outfit, while E! Online asked, "Was it a fashion misdemeanor?" In an interview with the "Today" show Wednesday, defense attorney Mark Geragos advised, "I tell my clients to dress like you're going to church or temple." Clearly, Lindsay didn't get that memo.

[kwame k]

I guess it's the old Hollywood maxim.....there's no such thing as bad press!

[VAiN]

Man, I was really enjoying not hearing about her... She really seems to not get it. I almost feel bad for her... Her parents, mostly her mother/manager/fame-whore, really fucked her up. She needs to take what's left of her money, put it somewhere safe, disappear from the public eye and just live out her days...

[Hardrock69]

That is what sucks about being a celebrity.

If you are involved in some kind of outrageous situation, every time you get mentioned in the news for the rest of your life, even for something minor and irrelevant, the media will drag it out again....

Famed Movie Star Buys House in Beverly Hills.....

Joe Schmoe, the star of numerous movies dating back to the Golden Age of Pornography has bought a house in Beverly Hills.

Joe became a famous movie star in the 40s when he regularly worked with other actors such as Humphrey Bogart, Jimmy Stewart, and Blaze Starr, winning an Oscar in 1959 for the classic film "The Man Who Fucked Twice" in the category "Best-Supporting Piece Of Furniture In A Comedy/Tragedy".
He made headline news in the 1980s when it was revealed he had a mistress who had born him a bastard stepchile. The stepchile grew up to be an alcoholic rock musician who performed under the name "Ace Diamond". By his early 30s, Mr. Diamond eventually disappeared and was not heard from again.

Drug and alcohol problems plagued Joe over the following 30 years, culminating in his arrest on charges of eating in a public place without a license, when he was caught masticating while intoxicated on the roof of a semi-truck as it rolled around Laurel Canyon Blvd.

On fire.

He eventually recovered his sobriety and was most recently spotted 3 weeks ago in a public park in Santa Monica buggering a fire-hydrant, creating a firestorm of controversy, with much criticism bestowed upon his countenance by the International Brotherhood For The Benevolence Of Old And Worn-out Fire Hydrants, or IBFTBEEAWFH.

He has said through his agent that he is trying to decide on a script for his upcoming Paramount Pictures release "It Happened One Night In The Middle Of The Night".

Schmoe is 98.

So see, in the above article, Joe is just buying a house. That is ALL. He may as well have been just driving down the street minding his own business.

But in order to explain to the reader of the lame newspaper that ran the article in the first place what Joe Schmoe is all about and why he is famous at all, they have to provide a quick biography in no more than a few paragraphs, so as to give the reader all of the essential knowledge to know why Joe is famous, and how he has fucked up his life as well.

Who is going to remember the professor who taught for 30 years about Chinese History, specializing in the Mung Dynasty, then retired and lived his life out as some dull idiot who kicked the bucket at age 86?

But EVERYONE is going to remember a professor who was a champion drunk, who got arrested for pissing on a cop car, and got hauled off to the hoosegow where he decided to take on the entire population of his cell block, and WON, who then was bailed out of jail, stole a police car, used it to have sex with street hookers, then drove it onto the lawn of City Hall, set it on fire, and escaped by running inside the building yelling "FIRE FIRE FIRE! HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUH!!!!!" and then calmly walking out the back door in the general bedlam that followed.

The one who creates the most excitement in life is the one who will not easily be forgotten.

Uncle Dave figured that out when he was jus' a li'l chilluns.

End of lecture.

[Dan]

Maybe Doctor Phil Can help Her Out.

[Terry]

That is what sucks about being a celebrity.

If you are involved in some kind of outrageous situation, every time you get mentioned in the news for the rest of your life, even for something minor and irrelevant, the media will drag it out again....




So see, in the above article, Joe is just buying a house. That is ALL. He may as well have been just driving down the street minding his own business.

But in order to explain to the reader of the lame newspaper that ran the article in the first place what Joe Schmoe is all about and why he is famous at all, they have to provide a quick biography in no more than a few paragraphs, so as to give the reader all of the essential knowledge to know why Joe is famous, and how he has fucked up his life as well.

Who is going to remember the professor who taught for 30 years about Chinese History, specializing in the Mung Dynasty, then retired and lived his life out as some dull idiot who kicked the bucket at age 86?

But EVERYONE is going to remember a professor who was a champion drunk, who got arrested for pissing on a cop car, and got hauled off to the hoosegow where he decided to take on the entire population of his cell block, and WON, who then was bailed out of jail, stole a police car, used it to have sex with street hookers, then drove it onto the lawn of City Hall, set it on fire, and escaped by running inside the building yelling "FIRE FIRE FIRE! HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUH!!!!!" and then calmly walking out the back door in the general bedlam that followed.

The one who creates the most excitement in life is the one who will not easily be forgotten.

Uncle Dave figured that out when he was jus' a li'l chilluns.

End of lecture.

People like to rubberneck and get off on someone else's troubles. I'm no better.

However, I AM thankful that I didn't have tabloid journalists stalking me when I was in my teens and twenties.

Most people fuck up at some point in their lives (if not, how boring).

Thanks for showing your hiney and titties in Machete, Lindsay!! Beat this rap and get back to disrobing onscreen soon! I don't care how many times you fuck up or how much carpet you munch - I'll still rub one out to ya!!