Another VH story from Motley's "The Dirt"

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  • ThatArtGuy
    Foot Soldier
    • Jan 2004
    • 672

    Another VH story from Motley's "The Dirt"

    It took me forever to find this book for some odd reason, but I hadn't come across this story before.

    Nikki: The next day was the kickoff of the Monsters of Rock minitour. While we were traveling in the States with Ratt, we had gotten into the habit of biting each other. Tommy would grab Vince or a security guard, and clamp his teeth down on an arm until he broke the skin. It was all affectionate, of course, but it hurt like hell if you weren't fucked up.
    I was so drunk and coked up at that fist show that I walked up to Eddie Van Halen and tackled him. Then I reared my head up, lifted his shirt, and sank my teeth into his bare stomach. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" his wife Valerie Bertinelli, bellowed. "Biting my husband? You fucking freak!"
    Eddie stood up, dusted himself off, and narrowed his squinty eyes. I couldn't tell whether he was turned on or offended. Before I had a chance to apologize, Vince ran up to him like a savage dog and sank his teeth into his hand. And that threw Valerie into hysterics: Nobody bites the hand that Eddie Van Halen uses to play guitar with.

    LOL
    I brought my pencil!!!
  • sadaist
    TOASTMASTER GENERAL
    • Jul 2004
    • 11625

    #2
    Originally posted by ThatArtGuy
    Nobody bites the hand that Eddie Van Halen uses to play guitar with.

    LOL


    Yeah....that is a bad idea. Bite his lips or something. His mouth only causes problems anyways. If it had been me, I woulda bit Valerie on the ass. She was a cutie back then.
    “Great losses often bring only a numb shock. To truly plunge a victim into misery, you must overwhelm him with many small sufferings.”

    Comment

    • DavidLeeNatra
      TOASTMASTER GENERAL
      • Jan 2004
      • 10703

      #3
      bite off half of his tongue...
      Roth Army Icon
      First official owner of ADKOT (Deluxe Version)

      Comment

      • GAR
        Banned
        • Jan 2004
        • 10849

        #4
        Originally posted by DavidLeeNatra
        bite off half of his tongue...
        HAHAHAA yeah "RJ Reynolds bit me.."

        Comment

        • sadaist
          TOASTMASTER GENERAL
          • Jul 2004
          • 11625

          #5
          Originally posted by GAR
          HAHAHAA yeah "RJ Reynolds bit me.."

          Is that similar to how Larry Flynt gave me carpal tunnel?
          “Great losses often bring only a numb shock. To truly plunge a victim into misery, you must overwhelm him with many small sufferings.”

          Comment

          • jero
            Crazy Ass Mofo
            • Jan 2004
            • 2927

            #6
            Originally posted by DavidLeeNatra
            bite off half of his tongue...

            Comment

            • Heater
              Foot Soldier
              • Nov 2010
              • 508

              #7
              Gotta admit, I love the crüe, this is funny stuff Val should stay at the buffet table and shut it. I'm a little disappointed that Vince is now doing Skating With the Stars! WTF is that?

              Comment

              • GreenBayLA
                Sniper
                • Jan 2006
                • 796

                #8
                I remember that story, Crue is stoooopid.
                Vince is desperate for attention at this point...
                "Nothing gets a yak over a suspension bridge faster than 'Back in the Saddle Again' by Aerosmith" ~ DLR

                Comment

                • GAR
                  Banned
                  • Jan 2004
                  • 10849

                  #9
                  Originally posted by sadaist
                  Is that similar to how Larry Flynt gave me carpal tunnel?
                  That is depraved. Say you're sorry!

                  Comment

                  • Nitro Express
                    DIAMOND STATUS
                    • Aug 2004
                    • 32798

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Heater
                    Gotta admit, I love the crüe, this is funny stuff Val should stay at the buffet table and shut it. I'm a little disappointed that Vince is now doing Skating With the Stars! WTF is that?
                    I will watch if Vince starts biting people out on the ice.
                    No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

                    Comment

                    • Chong Li
                      Head Fluffer
                      • Jan 2004
                      • 230

                      #11
                      Too bad Ed didn't kick him in the nuts. YOU BETTER WEAR A CUP.
                      "Can't you hear Jamies cryin? Shes runnin with the Devil oh nooooo!!! oh no!

                      Comment

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