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Thread: Hagar Predictably Runs His Boorish Yap In Revisionist History Memoir, 'Red'

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    Hagar Predictably Runs His Boorish Yap In Revisionist History Memoir, 'Red'

    Now normally I wouldn't dare put a Hagarita thread into Main, but this must be an exception....

    http://www.marinij.com/diningandfood/ci_17353018

    Sammy Hagar's memoir, "Red: My Uncensored Life in Rock," doesn't comes out until March, but I've just finished reading an advance copy and I can tell you that there's one poor guy who's going to wish it had never seen the light of day: Eddie Van Halen.

    Sammy's one of the nicest guys I've met in rock 'n' roll, but Marin's Red Rocker shows his former Van Halen bandmate no mercy, portraying Eddie as more street person than guitar god.

    This is Sammy describing him just before their Van Halen reunion tour in 2003: "I hadn't seen him in 10 years. He looked like he hadn't bathed in a week. He certainly hadn't changed his clothes in at least that long. He wasn't wearing a shirt. He had on a giant overcoat and army pants, tattered and ripped at the cuffs, held up with a piece of rope. I'd never seen him so skinny in my life. He was missing a number of teeth and the ones he had left were black. His boots were so worn out he had gaffer's tape wrapped around them and his big toe still stuck out."

    In passages like that, "Red" reads like one of those angry e-mails we write when we're really ticked off at someone and need to vent by trashing him or her. But once we chill out, most of us don't hit the send button. With this book, Sammy hits the send button.

    And he hits it over and over. After describing the squalor that he claims Eddie lived in, Sammy lays into him again, writing: "This was Eddie Van Halen, one of the sweetest guys I'd ever met. He had turned into the weirdest (expletive) I'd ever seen, crude, rude and unkempt."

    So how do you really feel, Sammy?

    After his "I Can't Drive 55" made him an arena-level headliner, Sammy joined Van Halen in the mid-'80s, replacing David Lee Roth, another guy he has no use for.

    "I hated Dave," he writes. "The guy rubbed me wrong. I'm sure I rub all kinds of people wrong, so it's not like I'm putting him down. The guy was a great front man, great attitude in rock, and had an image from hell, but I just couldn't stand the guy. He was the opposite of what I believed in and what I am. First of all, the guy's not a great singer and he acts like he's the coolest, hottest guy in the world when, to me, he looks gay."

    I don't know who's going to be more upset by that, Roth or gay people?

    Settled down now at 63, Sammy writes ecstatically about his second and current wife and their contented family life. But when he was younger and his first marriage was on the skids, he took full advantage of his rock star status during his decade as lead singer of Van Halen.

    "I was eating in the greatest restaurants, drinking the finest wine, flying on private jets, walking on stage to sold-out audiences going crazy. The only thing missing was ... I don't think anything was missing."

    Groupies certainly weren't missing. Like the other members of what Sammy calls "the biggest rock band in the world," he had his own sex tent underneath the stage. Roadies would stock it with "five or six girls" every night, and Sammy writes about getting it on with them during Van Halen's nightly guitar solo. On this particular subject, he reveals a little more than I'd prefer to know, but it will probably sell a lot of books.

    It seems like everything Sammy does makes money. At the beginning of his career, he was smart enough to buy the "architectural wonder" of a house on Mount Tam where he still lives for only $60,000 down, a pittance now. He was on the road a lot, so he started a successful travel agency in Mill Valley. He has a profitable fire sprinkler company in Fontana, the blue collar Southern California town where he grew up. And his Cabo Wabo Cantina in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, has spun off into franchises in Lake Tahoe and other places.

    More recently, he made headlines when he sold his Cabo Wabo tequila company to the Campari Group for $80 million in a deal that lets him keep 20 percent of the business.

    "If I wanted to be a billionaire, I probably could," he writes. "It's probably not that hard. But I'm not interested."

    From that, it's clear that Sammy, with Joel Selvin, didn't write "Red" for the money. So he must have had other motives, like getting even with the Van Halen brothers, Eddie and Al, for not showing up at their Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction in 2007, leaving him and bassist Mike Anthony to go it alone.

    The question of whether Sammy quit Van Halen or was fired doesn't really get answered in "Red," as far as I can tell. One thing it does do, though — "Red" is hot enough to burn bridges.
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    See, here's the thing: Eddie Van Halen is an alcoholic. Dave imho left the band because Eddie was an alcoholic. In all the time he was gone, Dave basically had statements about Eddie's attitude, like, "it is really dark up there on howdy doody mountain". He never said he hated Eddie as a person, or made fun of his humanity. He genuinely likes Eddie and has admiration for him as far as I can tell. He wrote a song about it "Damn Good". He constantly pushed the BAND Van Halen, even when not in the line up.

    Ched Head on the other hand, does not say "I saw Eddie looking terrible, I asked if he would like to see my Doctor who I trust", instead he makes fun of him. He uses Van Halen for all the money girls and fame he can get, then goes back to being a solo artist. Eddie was right to tell him to go to hell, he only used Eddie for a ride; Dave always wanted to be in the Band. Spammy, as opposed to Dave, writes a song where he portrays Eddie as a monkey playing a guitar.

    Between the two attitude types, I certainly know which one I would want to be in a band with:

    Dave, somewhat patient and Zen, or The Well Fed Rocker, who doesn't even say thanks for the Cheetos.

    The truth is in the telling: Spam brags about his ability to be a billionaire, Dave gets his EMT certificate and works as one. Dave gets his Helicopter License, Spam drinks Tequila.

    Good riddence to bad rubbish.
    Last edited by SunisinuS; 02-11-2011 at 11:20 AM. Reason: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mIP7ySBXBg http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHOQdbL3rrQ
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    I'm keeping my eye on you Va, Cheddar in The Main

    You can't really judge by an excerpt but this is all stuff we knew about......Ed's downward spiral into Meth, he doesn't like Dave, and he thinks he's a rock star.

    Hopefully, we'll find out what his favorite color is.
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    "First of all, the guy's not a great singer and he acts like he's the coolest, hottest guy in the world when, to me, he looks gay."
    It's always fascinating to me when certain "straight" guys seem to know just what to seek in order to recognize gay folks.

    Quote Originally Posted by kwame k View Post
    Hopefully, we'll find out what his favorite color is.
    I believe that is answered in the title of the book.
    Last edited by chefcraig; 02-11-2011 at 11:11 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    It's always fascinating to me when certain "straight" guys seem to know just what to seek in order to recognize gay folks.



    I believe that is answered in the title of the book.


    Can anyone spot Dave in this picture?

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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    It's always fascinating to me when certain "straight" guys seem to know just what to seek in order to recognize gay folks.
    Exactly! I always thought it was strictly up to the females to make that decision. When a guy makes that call, it's from the closet.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Va Beach VH Fan View Post
    Now normally I wouldn't dare put a Hagarita thread into Main, but this must be an exception....


    Groupies certainly weren't missing. Like the other members of what Sammy calls "the biggest rock band in the world," he had his own sex tent underneath the stage. Roadies would stock it with "five or six girls" every night, and Sammy writes about getting it on with them during Van Halen's nightly guitar solo.
    Eleven minutes minus the time it took his fat ass to get from the stage to his tent and back. Those lucky girls...
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    In other words Sammy is like Gene Simmons but with less talent and drive.
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    I wonder who Sammy was fucking in the sex tent. Mike?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    I wonder who Sammy was fucking in the sex tent. Mike?
    You gave some thought to that, did you?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Va Beach VH Fan View Post
    "I hated Dave," he writes. "The guy rubbed me wrong. I'm sure I rub all kinds of people wrong, so it's not like I'm putting him down. The guy was a great front man, great attitude in rock, and had an image from hell, but I just couldn't stand the guy. He was the opposite of what I believed in and what I am. First of all, the guy's not a great singer and he acts like he's the coolest, hottest guy in the world when, to me, he looks gay."


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    The annoying thing, and the reason he is writing doing the book, is whatever fucking bullshit he tells the ghost writer people will accept and will become part of the intro to everything ever written about him by the 99% of music journalists who are lazy bastards these days. I've lost count of the number of lies that have come out of his dribbling fat mouth over the years.

    Quote Originally Posted by Va Beach VH Fan View Post
    This is Sammy describing him just before their Van Halen reunion tour in 2003: "I hadn't seen him in 10 years.
    BOOM! Line 1.

    How did he get sacked in 1996 and then not see Ed for 10 years before their 2003 tour?

    We should have a competition here when this shit comes out. Hagar Lies Bingo, the person who finds the most documented lies and falsehoods wins a prize. I guarantee the winning score will be at least 3 figures...

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    It's not like I'm putting him down but he can't sing and looks gay.

    You have to laugh...

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    hopefully Sam will be the voice of the audiobook, then we can chop it up into things like "i am a big fat fuck." there's a fucking contest to have!
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    You gave some thought to that, did you?
    Sammy Hagar is the catalist for horrifying gay thoughts. Once you start to think about Sammy, all the other gay shit just sort of follows. I mean you know Sam didn't really have any women down there so who is in there? Mike? Alex? the towel boy? the venue janitor?

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    Is it just me but....the older I get the more annoyed I am by this guy.

    Seems he has a compulsive need to get his side of the story out every time he speaks.......has he done an interview [since joining Van Hagar] where he doesn't mention VH or Dave in a negative light.

    The guy would be a B-list rock star at best had he not joined VH......he should be kissing their asses at every opportunity, like bassplayer usually does.

    Would the guy ever have gotten in the Hall of Lame as a solo "artist"?

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    Quote Originally Posted by twonabomber View Post
    hopefully Sam will be the voice of the audiobook, then we can chop it up into things like "i am a big fat fuck." there's a fucking contest to have!
    Brilliant I say, brilliant!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    Sammy Hagar is the catalist for horrifying gay thoughts. Once you start to think about Sammy, all the other gay shit just sort of follows. I mean you know Sam didn't really have any women down there so who is in there? Mike? Alex? the towel boy? the venue janitor?
    Why are you having gay thoughts, and more to the point, why do they horrify you? I mean, I'm not judging you, and if that is how you choose to get through your day, all the more power to you.

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    He's spot on about Dedwad and he deserves it...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jagermeister View Post
    Can anyone spot Dave in this picture?


    I think I see his shoulder way off in the background. He's the guy selling t-shirts and bags of weed out of the back of a pickup?


    Sam is right here though about Ed. Eddie was a fucking bum. I was crushed when I saw my idol disintegrate to whatever that toothless, crypt-keeper thing was. he was a goblin. I thought he was going to die any day. It made me so sad to see the cute, smiling, happy guitar player from the Jump & Panama videos now look worse off than a guy sleeping behind the trash cans at the local 7-11. And yeah, he looked like he smelled, he had horrible meth mouth, the boots he wore were disgusting, and everything else Sammy is quoted as saying. We all saw the pics.

    As far as Sammy on Dave...again spot on. Dave is not a great singer, but a great frontman...the greatest. We've all agreed on that. Dave was never about being Andrea Bocelli. And yeah, Dave does think he is the coolest mother fucker on the planet...and most the time he is right. It's Daves swagger that makes him a rock star and not just a musician.

    I think this book will be a good read when it discusses Van Halen related subjects. It's somewhat redeeming to see someone on the inside share his thoughts and realize that was the same fucking thing we all were thinking at the time. I loves the juicy dirt.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    The annoying thing, and the reason he is writing doing the book, is whatever fucking bullshit he tells the ghost writer people will accept and will become part of the intro to everything ever written about him by the 99% of music journalists who are lazy bastards these days. I've lost count of the number of lies that have come out of his dribbling fat mouth over the years.



    BOOM! Line 1.

    How did he get sacked in 1996 and then not see Ed for 10 years before their 2003 tour?

    We should have a competition here when this shit comes out. Hagar Lies Bingo, the person who finds the most documented lies and falsehoods wins a prize. I guarantee the winning score will be at least 3 figures...
    they should have named it Sammy Hagar's Revisionist History, Volume One. 'cause you know the stories are gonna change before the paperback comes out.

    and i find it funny that a guy pushing 65 who wears capri pants is calling someone else gay.

    here's another challenge: keep the RIAA numbers handy, so if Hagar the Horrible does a tour of radio stations promo-ing' the book, you'll have the true numbers when he says "Van Hagar sold more records than Van Halen." even better if they take listener calls and someone can get on the air and bust his chops.
    Last edited by twonabomber; 02-11-2011 at 12:32 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by twonabomber View Post
    they should have named it Sammy Hagar's Revisionist History, Volume One. 'cause you know the stories are gonna change before the paperback comes out.

    and i find it funny that a guy pushing 65 who wears capri pants is calling someone else gay.here's another challenge: keep the RIAA numbers handy, so if Hagar the Horrible does a tour of radio stations promo-ing' the book, you'll have the true numbers when he says "Van Hagar sold more records than Van Halen." even better if they take listener calls and someone can get on the air and bust his chops.

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    I see Samuel, the descendant of Abraham's maidservant Hagar is still bearing false witness.
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    Haven't looked at current sale stats.....this was from a few years ago but it illustrates the point.

    The real Van Halen
    Van Halen......10 million-Diamond Status, bitches!
    Van Halen II......5 million
    Women and Children First......3 million
    Fair Warning......2 million
    Diver Down......4 million
    1984....10 million-Diamond Status, bitches!

    34 million and counting!

    Van Hagar
    5150......6 million
    Live: Without a Net.....2 million
    OU812......4 million
    For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge......3 million
    Live: Right Here, Right Now......2 million
    Balance......3 million

    20 million.......just by using VH I and 1984 you beat the Van Hagar years.

    The Gay years....
    Van Halen III......500,000

    Best of.....
    The Best of Van Halen, Vol. 1.......3 million
    The Best of Both Worlds......1 million

    Even if you give Hagar credit for full sales of the Best of, he misses the mark by millions.

    The only thing the sheep can say is that Van Hagar sold more Live albums than Van Halen......of course, Van Halen never released a Live album but don't confuse the sheep with facts.

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    It's amazing that Fair Warning, perhaps the best CVH record, sold only 2 million copies. I know there weren't any "hits" on the record but come on...
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    Why are you having gay thoughts, and more to the point, why do they horrify you? I mean, I'm not judging you, and if that is how you choose to get through your day, all the more power to you.
    Because I'm conflicted and confused on the whole gay thing. When I think of two lesbians, I want to join in on their fun. When i think of a man fucking another man up the asshole, I find it gross and wrong. In other words, women can be gay as long as they let us men join in with the fun and men can't be gay at all.

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    Maybe we all are gay.

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    his first bio that has never seen the official light was an interesting read about the split in 1996...no need to read how fatty got some worn out hookers to give him a blow job in a tent...yawn...

    do I want to read about his family life? do I want to read about what a great salesman he is? thanks but no thanks...show me something that I never read a zillion times before? have you been to the himalaya, fatty? the jungle? the amazon? do you know something about the beginning of the mighty =VH= in the backyards?

    too good that I ALWAYS have "crazy from the heat" near my bed...will go through some chapters tonight....
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guitar Shark View Post
    It's amazing that Fair Warning, perhaps the best CVH record, sold only 2 million copies. I know there weren't any "hits" on the record but come on...
    Yeah no shit. That can't be right.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    Because I'm conflicted and confused on the whole gay thing. When I think of two lesbians, I want to join in on their fun. When i think of a man fucking another man up the asshole, I find it gross and wrong. In other words, women can be gay as long as they let us men join in with the fun and men can't be gay at all.
    as a wise man said...dip me in chocolate and feed me to the lesbians...

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    Ah it's all a freak show. Maybe the smart and enlightened souls don't buy into the whole money/acquisition game at all and find a nice safe place on the side lines and watch the rest of us fuck, screw, cheat, and manipulate each other for entertainment purposes.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Guitar Shark View Post
    It's amazing that Fair Warning, perhaps the best CVH record, sold only 2 million copies. I know there weren't any "hits" on the record but come on...
    Quote Originally Posted by Jagermeister View Post
    Yeah no shit. That can't be right.
    No kidding. I mean think about it for a moment: How many of us bought it when it first was released, then had to buy (or make) a cassette for the car, then bought it on CD once, or even twice? Amongst the guitar players alone that claim to have been influenced by the damned album, that has to account for 2 million copies by itself.

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    I can remember being told I needed an IRA to keep the government out of my retirement money. In the back of my mind I was thinking,"yeah right, I will put my money there and as soon as the government spends itself into oblivion and needs money, they will raid everyone's IRAs and give us worthless IOU's. Just like they did with Social Security. I mean everyone is selling a safe place but everyone is talking shit. It's all bullshit. If you live long enough to play by the rules you will see most if not all the rules are shit.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Guitar Shark View Post
    It's amazing that Fair Warning, perhaps the best CVH record, sold only 2 million copies. I know there weren't any "hits" on the record but come on...
    I hear ya but......

    Artist VAN HALEN
    Title FAIR WARNING
    Certification Date 08/04/1994
    Label WARNER BROS.
    Award Description 2.00x MULTI PLATINUM
    Format ALBUM
    Category GROUP
    Type ST

    Link doesn't work but go to www.riaa.com and it's there.

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    So....Spam thinks DAVE looks "gay"....

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Yeah...look at the PJ look Spam was sportin' during the 5150 tour....all the way up to the 50+ beach bum look of the 2004 Fleece the Sheep tour.....

    Wow....I really think Spam is still pissed at DAVE for the crack on Spam's 1st wife back in the day....how Dave understood Spam's love of cars....having seen Spam's old lady...
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    here is an analogy for all of you:
    listening to sammy hagar sing is like listening to one of my records.
    that really ain't saying much.........i'm just sayin'......
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    Quote Originally Posted by kwame k View Post
    I hear ya but......

    Artist VAN HALEN
    Title FAIR WARNING
    Certification Date 08/04/1994
    Label WARNER BROS.
    Award Description 2.00x MULTI PLATINUM
    Format ALBUM
    Category GROUP
    Type ST

    Link doesn't work but go to www.riaa.com and it's there.
    I wasn't questioning you, just think it's a travesty that FW is one of the least-selling VH albums.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    Ah it's all a freak show. Maybe the smart and enlightened souls don't buy into the whole money/acquisition game at all and find a nice safe place on the side lines and watch the rest of us fuck, screw, cheat, and manipulate each other for entertainment purposes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    I can remember being told I needed an IRA to keep the government out of my retirement money. In the back of my mind I was thinking,"yeah right, I will put my money there and as soon as the government spends itself into oblivion and needs money, they will raid everyone's IRAs and give us worthless IOU's. Just like they did with Social Security. I mean everyone is selling a safe place but everyone is talking shit. It's all bullshit. If you live long enough to play by the rules you will see most if not all the rules are shit.
    Do you even attempt to look at what thread you are posting in anymore?

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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    No kidding. I mean think about it for a moment: How many of us bought it when it first was released, then had to buy (or make) a cassette for the car, then bought it on CD once, or even twice? Amongst the guitar players alone that claim to have been influenced by the damned album, that has to account for 2 million copies by itself.
    The RIAA database sucks and it says 2x's Platinum was awarded in 1994......so they haven't sold any more records since then?

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