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Thread: The "Only In Florida" Police Blotter - Living Proof That Hell Is Other People

  1. #201
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    I'm honestly starting to think that maybe Florida is the most fucked up place in the world.

    This is about 5 times in a row now I've seen a headline and thought, 'hah if that happened in Florida I'll put it on the website' and every fucking time it has been.

    http://www.floridasunpost.com/tampa-...nk-weed-smoke/
    If you looked closely at other states in the country, there is no shortage of bizarre/dumbass crimes outside of Florida.

    It's just easier for news outlets to go with another piece of low hanging "only in Florida" fruit than to point out the same types of stuff happening in every other state. Same goes for close elections/recounts, with the tossed out undervotes and the rest of it.

    Which isn't to say a lot of fucked up shit doesn't happen here in Florida.
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  2. #202
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    http://www.fox13news.com/news/local-...deputies-say#/

    CLEARWATER, Fla. (FOX 13) - Three syringes were found in a Pinellas County man’s rectum, which he claimed didn’t belong him, deputies said.

    A warrant was out for 40-year-old Wesley Dasher Scott on a drug charge, and deputies took him into custody on January 4 around 4:30 a.m. During his strip search, deputies with the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office said he removed three syringes from his rectum and handed it to them.

    Scott said he found them, and they weren’t his, deputies said.

    Additional drug charges were added during his arrest.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Simple math: Possession is how many tenths the law?

    My advice to all criminals with syringes up their ass: never say those are not mine. Because there will be an investigation...
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  3. #203
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terry View Post
    If you looked closely at other states in the country, there is no shortage of bizarre/dumbass crimes outside of Florida.

    It's just easier for news outlets to go with another piece of low hanging "only in Florida" fruit than to point out the same types of stuff happening in every other state. Same goes for close elections/recounts, with the tossed out undervotes and the rest of it.

    Which isn't to say a lot of fucked up shit doesn't happen here in Florida.
    It comes with a great deal of affection, I've spent far more time in Florida than anywhere else in the US. Not just the Orlando parks either, Gulf coast, the Keys, Tampa, Miami, all over basically apart from the north.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terry View Post
    Man, that kid must have been half a fag to have to run and tell Mommy and Daddy about tapping that...PLUS she got him weed on top of it?! Although I think the parents caught onto it, rather than the kid just offering up the info, but still.
    Where were all these hot teachers who liked to party with and fuck their students when I was in middle school. All my teachers were ugly bitches or old hags.
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  5. Thanked Nitro Express for this KICKASS post:

    Terry (03-31-2019)


  6. #205
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    2 in just the past week. Must be some sort of cycle of the moon or some shit:

    https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...ks-her-n954286



    McDonald's employee fights back after Florida man attacks her over plastic straw
    A plastic straw ban in St. Petersburg, meant to increase sustainability, apparently caused a patron to attack a McDonald's employee.

    A viral video shows that a McDonald's worker fought back against an enraged customer who attacked her over a plastic straw.

    The man, who the St. Petersburg Florida Police Department identified as Daniel Taylor, attacked employee Yasmine James on Monday, grabbing her shirt and trying to pull her over the register.

    Brenda Biandudi, the mother of the man who posted the video, which has amassed more than 3.5 million views, told NBC affiliate WFLA that the fight began when Taylor complained there were no straws at the store’s drink station.

    According to Biandudi, James explained that a new law mandated that the store remove straws from the lobby, but that straws still could be requested. This was a result of a St. Petersburg ordinance passed last month that mandated “plastic straws can be given only upon customer request”— an effort to increase the city’s sustainability.
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    This just yesterday:

    https://nypost.com/2019/01/08/woman-...eakhouse-cops/

    Woman threatened to kill parents for denying her Outback Steakhouse: cops

    She went bloomin’ mad.

    A hangry Florida woman “became enraged” and threatened to kill her parents when they refused to take her to Outback Steakhouse, police said.

    Deana Seltzer, 28, started punching her mother Lydumila Seltzer on the chest and arms last week after being told she couldn’t go to the Australian-themed eatery known for its fried onion blossom, the local ABC affiliate reported.

    Seltzer, 28, “began screaming and flipped over a large heavy glass table top,” breaking it into “hundreds of pieces,” according to a probable cause affidavit.

    She continued her rampage through the house, flipping over recliner chairs and tearing up other pieces of furniture.

    Seltzer then allegedly ripped a 12-inch decorative knife from the wall and ran towards her dad, Vadim Seltzer, making “slashing” motions with the weapon and screeching: “I’m going to f—ing kill you” as she chased him.

    Eventually, her father was able to wrestle the knife away and called the cops.

    Seltzer was charged with simple domestic battery, battery of a person 65 or older and aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

    A Palm Beach County judge ordered her to undergo a mental health assessment and she was released on supervised recognizance.

  8. #207
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    https://www.independent.co.uk/news/w...box=1548113553


    Florida police run over couple lying in the road to watch lunar eclipse


    Both individuals were taken to the hospital and treated for non-life-threatening injuries

    Clark Mindock


    A police officer in Florida ran over two people lying on a dark road to watch the lunar eclipse, leading them requring hospital treatment.

    The West Palm Beach Police Department has confirmed the officer ran over the two people, who were taken to the hospital and treated for non-life-threatening injuries after the incident on Sunday night.

    Police said that the individuals, who have not been identified, were hit around 11.30pm, just at the height of the eclipse.

    The officer was strolling a park at the time, and driving at about 5mph when he struck the two.

    One of the individuals was a man, and the other a woman. Both were 24-years-old and lived nearby, according to police.

  9. #208
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  10. #209
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    MAGAtts open fire on biracial children as they walk to a gas station to buy candy

    rawstory.com
    Slur-spewing white men open fire on biracial children as they walk to a gas station to buy candy
    Noor Al-Sibai28 Mar 2019 at 13:33 ET



    James Reidnauer (left) and Brent van Besien (right), two men arrested on hate crime charges for shooting at children of color. Images via Lake County Sheriff's Office.

    A pair of white Florida men have been arrested after shooting at and shouting racial slurs at two biracial children — and claimed that they did so because they thought the kids were on meth.

    Orlando’s WFTV reported that James Reidnauer and Brent van Besien were arrested in the city of Leesburg on hate crime charges after shooting at the 16 and 12-year-old brother and sister on March 17.

    According to the report, the men confronted the children on a trail owned by a nearby church as they were walking to a convenience store to buy candy.

    “Deputies said Reidnauer and van Besien fired at least two shots — one near the girl’s foot and one in the air — before shouting slurs at the biracial children,” WFTV reported, adding that both were uninjured and able to run home.

    According to police, the men said they shot at the children because they thought they were, the Orlando Sentinel reported, “meth heads.”

    In an interview with local news, Michelle Sabb, the kids’ mother, said she was grateful they made it home unscathed.

    “I mean, Trayvon [Martin] — he didn’t make it home,” Sabb said. “What if my son wouldn’t have made it home?”

    This Lake County Mom says her two biracial kids, were confronted by two armed suspects. She says the suspects yelled racial slurs and even fired shots. pic.twitter.com/VfpOQQDYmo

    — Myrt Price (@MPriceWFTV) March 27, 2019
    In 2016, Lake County’s Daily Commercial newspaper reported that van Besien was arrested on domestic violence and armed robbery charges.

    A 2017 Lake County booking photo of van Besien shows him with multiple tattoos, including one that appears to be an “Iron Cross,” a German military symbol that according to the Anti-Defamation League later became associated with Nazi Germany.

    “After World War II, the medal was discontinued but neo-Nazis and other white supremacists subsequently adopted it as a hate symbol and it has been a commonly-used hate symbol ever since,” the ADL noted.
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  11. #210
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    Those mugshots make it obvious who was on meth. And it wasn't the kids. White supremacy & meth are each brain cancers on their own. Together, it's a terminal diagnosis. Send these two miserable Nazi fucks to Hell and get it over with already.

  12. #211
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    Quote Originally Posted by FORD View Post
    White supremacy & meth are each brain cancers on their own. Together, it's a terminal diagnosis.
    Don't forget Smollett Syndrome and TDS. Both will f you up bad yo.
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  13. #212
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    It comes with a great deal of affection, I've spent far more time in Florida than anywhere else in the US. Not just the Orlando parks either, Gulf coast, the Keys, Tampa, Miami, all over basically apart from the north.
    Some of it has to do with the Florida law regarding arrest records and public domain, which is much less restrictive here than in many other states in the country. So it's just easier to get arrest record info on Floridians than elsewhere, and mainstream journalists are fundamentally lazy in terms of investigative work.

  14. #213
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    Quote Originally Posted by FORD View Post
    Those mugshots make it obvious who was on meth. And it wasn't the kids. White supremacy & meth are each brain cancers on their own. Together, it's a terminal diagnosis. Send these two miserable Nazi fucks to Hell and get it over with already.
    German soldiers and SS routinely took Pertivan in WWII. A stimulant drug that is basically meph in a pill form...

    https://www.dw.com/en/a-fresh-light-...ion/a-18703678
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