The "Only In Florida" Police Blotter - Living Proof That Hell Is Other People

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  • DONNIEP
    DIAMOND STATUS
    • Mar 2004
    • 13390

    #76
    So these mofos were eating this shit just to win a season pass?? Who the fuck are these people?
    American by birth. Southern by the grace of God.

    Comment

    • VAiN
      Use my hand, I won't look
      ROCKSTAR

      • Nov 2006
      • 5057

      #77
      Originally posted by Little Texan
      Are people in Florida just into eating cockroaches or what?
      No... No we are not.
      Originally posted by wiseguy
      That shit will welcome you in the morning and pour the milk in your count chocula for ya.

      Comment

      • chefcraig
        DIAMOND STATUS
        • Apr 2004
        • 12172

        #78
        Originally posted by Little Texan
        Are people in Florida just into eating cockroaches or what?
        Nah, having resided here since 1968 or so, I'd have to say that the main diet consists of eating a great deal of shit, while not only refusing to complain about it, but remarkably enough, asking for seconds.









        “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
        ― Stephen Hawking

        Comment

        • gbranton
          Veteran
          • Aug 2005
          • 1847

          #79
          Florida does not have the market cornered when it comes to trashy, illiterate idiots. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

          About 7 p.m. Dec. 4 in the 2500 block of Farnell Drive, the victim was coming home when he was approached in his front yard by a man with a handgun. The gunman told the victim to empty his pockets, then the robber fled on foot, police said.


          MOBILE, Ala. -- A Mobile man remained in the Mobile County Metro Jail this evening, charged with first-degree robbery for an incident that occurred in early December, police said.

          Nigah Kawmon Edwards, 18, was scheduled for a court appearance Wednesday, according to jail records.

          Edwards was arrested about 11 this morning on the 1600 block of Hartwell Drive, Officer Christopher Levy, police spokesman, said.

          Police said that about 7 p.m. Dec. 4 in the 2500 block of Farnell Drive, the victim was coming home when he was approached in his front yard by a man with a handgun. The gunman told the victim to empty his pockets. The robber fled on foot, police said.
          "Don't want 'em to get you goat, don't show 'em where it's hid." - David Lee Roth

          Comment

          • Nitro Express
            DIAMOND STATUS
            • Aug 2004
            • 32797

            #80
            The places I've been in Florida where a lot of New Yorker transplants and upscale hispanics. Actually it was sophisticated. In the more sleepy areas it was much like you would find in any other beach area in the world. I really didn't see a big hick factor there. Maybe that's up in the panhandle more or in places like Jacksonville? I never made it that far north.
            No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

            Comment

            • chefcraig
              DIAMOND STATUS
              • Apr 2004
              • 12172

              #81
              Originally posted by Nitro Express
              The places I've been in Florida where a lot of New Yorker transplants and upscale hispanics. Actually it was sophisticated. In the more sleepy areas it was much like you would find in any other beach area in the world. I really didn't see a big hick factor there. Maybe that's up in the panhandle more or in places like Jacksonville? I never made it that far north.
              Exactly what type of space suit do you wear when traveling, Major Matt Mason? At your nearest opportunity, you might wish to readjust your oxygen supply or at the very least, clean off your helmet visor.










              “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
              ― Stephen Hawking

              Comment

              • VAiN
                Use my hand, I won't look
                ROCKSTAR

                • Nov 2006
                • 5057

                #82
                Shit does roll downhill...

                Ricardo Salamanca faces a charge of aggravated battery causing bodily harm and remains in jail on $75,000 bond on Wednesday.


                Man Cut Almost All of Girlfriend's Nose Off: Police

                A man was arrested for cutting almost all of his girlfriend's nose off after she refused to have sex with him, Fort Lauderdale Police said.

                Ricardo Salamanca, from Plantation, faces a charge of aggravated battery causing bodily harm and remains in jail on $75,000 bond on Wednesday. It wasn't immediately known if he had an attorney. On Oct. 28, the victim was taken to North Broward Hospital for surgery to have her nose reattached. "The victim's nose was severed down to the sinus cavity where the victim's nose was only attached by a thread," the complaint affidavit said. The woman identified Salamanca as the person who did this to her, authorities said. She said that she had been in a relationship with him, and they lived together, the report said. That night, she had seen him at a Plantation nightclub but went home alone, the affidavit said. Later, he knocked on the door and she let him in, but he started yelling when she would not have sexual intercourse with him, and he threw her down, trying to place her in a chokehold, the affidavit said. She told authorities that he couldn't place her in a chokehold and she was ran to the front door, according to the affidavit. She remembered being thrown across the room, and then saw that she was bleeding from her face, authorities said."That's what you deserve, b****," the affidavit quoted the defendant as saying. Salamanca left, and she drove herself to the hospital, the report said. She told authorities that she had been a victim of domestic violence from Salamanca in the past.
                Originally posted by wiseguy
                That shit will welcome you in the morning and pour the milk in your count chocula for ya.

                Comment

                • Seshmeister
                  ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

                  • Oct 2003
                  • 35149

                  #83


                  'Don't move or the nose gets it!'

                  Comment

                  • chefcraig
                    DIAMOND STATUS
                    • Apr 2004
                    • 12172

                    #84
                    That night, she had seen him at a Plantation nightclub but went home alone, the affidavit said.
                    Ummm...we don't have nightclubs in Plantation. For shit's sake, we don't even have a McDonald's franchise. WTF?









                    “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
                    ― Stephen Hawking

                    Comment

                    • qikgts
                      Head Fluffer
                      • Jan 2012
                      • 498

                      #85
                      Originally posted by chefcraig
                      Ummm...we don't have nightclubs in Plantation. For shit's sake, we don't even have a McDonald's franchise. WTF?
                      There actually is a McDonald's in Plantation. University just north of 595. West side of the road...
                      You're gonna hear the angels sing...

                      Comment

                      • VAiN
                        Use my hand, I won't look
                        ROCKSTAR

                        • Nov 2006
                        • 5057

                        #86
                        I'm just more impressed with her driving herself to the hospital with her nose hanging off..
                        Originally posted by wiseguy
                        That shit will welcome you in the morning and pour the milk in your count chocula for ya.

                        Comment

                        • chefcraig
                          DIAMOND STATUS
                          • Apr 2004
                          • 12172

                          #87
                          Originally posted by qikgts
                          There actually is a McDonald's in Plantation. University just north of 595. West side of the road...
                          Yeah, but in terms of conveniance it might as well be in Davie. And you certainly don't want to go eat anywhere East of the turnpike, ya know? Which means going North into Sunrise or waaay the hell West out beyond Plantation Acres, by the ghastly Sawgrass Mills Mall.









                          “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
                          ― Stephen Hawking

                          Comment

                          • ODShowtime
                            ROCKSTAR

                            • Jun 2004
                            • 5812

                            #88
                            Go to the Primanti Brothers in Oakland park or where ever the hell it is. Get a sandwich with some french fries. That's a weird ass area of the world and I've spent way too much time there. Davie is really weird.
                            gnaw on it

                            Comment

                            • chefcraig
                              DIAMOND STATUS
                              • Apr 2004
                              • 12172

                              #89
                              Originally posted by ODShowtime
                              Go to the Primanti Brothers in Oakland park or where ever the hell it is. Get a sandwich with some french fries. That's a weird ass area of the world and I've spent way too much time there. Davie is really weird.
                              Ya know OD, a Primanti Brothers opened up in Sunrise on University Drive, just North of Sunrise. (It's located on the west side of University.) And speaking of fries, a 5 Guys recently opened up in the Fountains shopping center. But as far as good fast food goes, that's about it. Thankfully, the city has a handful of mom & pop pizzerias still going strong, all within home delivery or work distance.









                              “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
                              ― Stephen Hawking

                              Comment

                              • VAiN
                                Use my hand, I won't look
                                ROCKSTAR

                                • Nov 2006
                                • 5057

                                #90
                                Originally posted by ODShowtime
                                Go to the Primanti Brothers in Oakland park or where ever the hell it is. Get a sandwich with some french fries. That's a weird ass area of the world and I've spent way too much time there. Davie is really weird.
                                They make a nice pizza, but I just can't get into the sandwiches with slaw and fries on them..
                                Originally posted by wiseguy
                                That shit will welcome you in the morning and pour the milk in your count chocula for ya.

                                Comment

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