Atheists offer to rescue Christians’ pets after judgment day

[Hardrock69]

Ok so it is after 6 PM and as far as I know, these Christian jackoffs are still here.

Too bad. I was hoping God would do the rest of us a favor and take these fucking idiots away so we would no longer have to listen to their hallucinatory bullshit!

[FORD]

Well, the "Reverend" Camping is based in California, so he probably meant 6:00 PM Pacific time. So we'll know in another 45 minutes or so.

Really hope it doesn't happen though. Who wants to rise up to Heaven in the rain?

Ironically, we had much more "Rapture friendly" weather the last 4 or 5 days.

[Jesus Christ]

Good evening, My children....

As ye may know, the Son of Man usually does not post on the Sabbath, but in this instance, Dad and I thought I should make an exception.

Once again, My words in Matthew 24, that no man shall know the day or the hour of My return have been proven true.

And My message to Harold Camping, and others who have gained financially from this fraud......... :tongue0011:


Oh, and by the way, that whole "camel/eye of the needle thing" still applies too. So I expect to see that $700 million you raked in on this fiasco given to the poor immediately, lest thy next accomodation be at Lucifer's Lake of Fire beach resort.

Enjoy the rest of thy weekend, kids. JC out.........

[jhale667]

JC, not to presume to tell you what to do, but I think you should consider sending the Macho Man back to apprehend Harold Camping. Smite him just a tad?

[Hardrock69]

Now THAT is a good suggestion.

FUCK HAROLD CAMPING!

Fucking idiot retard blasphemy motherfucker!!!!

Sorry JC. Pet peeve......con men who take advantage of gullible people. I know you lose your temper once in awhile....like that day at the Temple with the money changers and all....

[ashstralia]

i feel pity for these poor gullible retards who freely give their time and money to these fucking latter day snake oil salesmen. it's not as though they don't have the same access to knowledge or information that i do, or the logic to process it. but.... to me there's no difference between a christian fundamentalist and a muslim one.

[Anonymous]

I feel absolutely NO pity for those retarded fucks who gave their money freely. It's your own fucking fault if you still believe in fairy tales when you should be a responsible adult.

And there is absolutely no difference between fundamentalists. You only feel that way because you're a christian & so you think that's the right thing to be. Just like a muslim.

Furthermore, the fact that these stupid cunts gave their life savings away only proves that if a leader arises that tells them to blow themselves up in crowded places, they will.

Religion is a fuckin' disease that should be wiped out.

As for those of you looking to blame that Camping guy, you're lookin' at the situation all wrong. If those people weren't so unbelievably retarded, he wouldn't have done anything. He'd've tried, but he wouldn't have beenable to pocket a penny.

So I say purge the human race from all those that believe in Donald Duck in the sky. That will solve the majority of everyone's problems.

Cheers! :bottle:

[ashstralia]

oy vey, i'm christian now? the mohel will go meshugganah.

[Anonymous]

Apparently, I misread the "no" in your post as "a" & I apologize for that.

I was agreeing with you while I thought I was disagreeing. You're absolutely right - every religious fanatic fuckstain is the same.

Any road, you believe in their god, don't you? It's just Jebus you don't believe in (conveniently).

So, it's all the same crap.

Cheers! :bottle:

[ashstralia]

your apology is accepted mate. methinks, who gives a fuck what anybody chooses to believe, as long as it doesn't hurt the general populace. d'oh!

[Anonymous]

your apology is accepted mate. methinks, who gives a fuck what anybody chooses to believe, as long as it doesn't hurt the general populace. d'oh!

Exactly. The problem is when those fuckbags feel that they must punish you for not believing in the same delusions they do.

So I say, kill 'me first before they kill us.

Cheers! :bottle:

[Unchainme]

Donno

You can give money to a christian organization or a church, and it can go to a great cause if you so desire. Couple of the ones that come off my head, are ones that feed the elderly, some can go help the poor in other more under-developed countries around the world, helping many times with the education of those people.

and hell, I know of a place right in my neck of the woods that helps the homeless, drug addicted, etc, and has been VERY successful. Even a few professors of mine, who are admitted atheists, say they don't believe in God, but they have donated and supported this cause.

http://www.havenofrest.org/

Again, it really depends on what you're giving to. I'm sure even the most hardcore atheist could agree that at the very least some of the Christian Charities out there are doing good things.

[chefcraig]

After a little bit of reckoning, the only people I know that might be missing are my next door neighbor (who works nights and just might be sleeping), and an uncle whose phone may or may not be disconnected. If everyone else has pretty much the same experience, mathematically that would mean that roughly 99% of the Earth's population was left behind during the so-called "rapture". Talk about an inefficient way of thinning the herd. Smooth move, Jesus.

Next up at the plate: The Mayans, Hopi Indians and a handful of other cultures who have either made predictions or simply left December 21, 2012 off of their calendars.

Party on! :bottle:

[Nitro Express]

I think someone put LSD in the sacramental wine.

[Blaze]

Well, if anyone died yesterday, it was their rapture and we all got left behind. Anyone want to go sailing?

[Anonymous]

Next up at the plate: The Mayans, Hopi Indians and a handful of other cultures who have either made predictions or simply left December 21, 2012 off of their calendars.

Party on! :bottle:

I think I've said this before around here: me cellphone calendar only goes up to somewhere around 2097.

If, for some reason, it's dug up & it's still working in the 2080's, maybe late 90's, I bet it'll cause quite a stir... "Them Nokia tribe injuns predicted the world would end in 2097. We know this because they ended their calendar that year, when they could've gone for 2100."

What everyone fails to grasp is that either the Mayans or Nokia or whatever the fuck could've simply decided that a 1000 years, or maybe even a 100 would be enough for now & they'd add a few more dates when the calendar is starting to become obsolete.

What's with all this fixation with ending everything, anyway? Are people's lives so miserable that they actually feel glad that it will end someday?

Huh... yes, I think that about sums it up... so... 100,000, kill the rest & we'll start all over again. Sounds good?

Cheers! :bottle:

[PETE'S BROTHER]

Robert Fitzpatrick, who spent $140,000 of his life savings to advertise the rapture in New York, said he was dumbfounded when life went on as usual Saturday.
"I do not understand why ...," he told Reuters while awaiting the event in Times Square. "I do not understand why nothing has happened."

[Seshmeister]

App of the Week: The Rapture Detector
By Chris Gayomali on May 18, 2011

Read more: http://techland.time.com/2011/05/18/...#ixzz1NDCiJYuN

If those whacky radicals are right, and May 21st really will spell the end of the world as we know it (NewsFeed helped out with some of the number crunching), you're going to want to "live every moment like it's your last." I think Martin Luther King said that. So we should.

The inventors of the Rapture Detector (not to be confused with the more-famous Rapture Raptor, where you play as a post-apocalyptic doorknob-operating reptile that has to consume every human on Earth in order to survive), claims that they'll alert you 30 minutes before "The End" actually happens, granting you an ample window to run down to your local place of worship and repent until the walls come down.

Per the Rapture Detector's makers:
Sin, Lust and Fornication can be yours again! That's right, sin can be yours again with the right Reverend Billy Joe Estes, Holy Manifestation House of Worship Rapture Detector. That's right, you heard correctly; a Rapture Detector. Thirty minutes prior to the Rapture a blue LED light will go off on your iPhone, versions 3 and 4, iPad, Android Phone or Windows 7 Phone. And you will have 30 minutes to run down to your local preacher and be saved, Hallelujah on that!

For 99 cents, you'll get the alert service, an RSS-like aggregation feed that has all the latest "The World is Ending" news, and the peace of mind that comes with knowing that you'll be spending the afterlife unapologetically eating donut holes while sitting on a cloud (or whatever your vision of heaven is).

It's available for the iPhone, iPad, Android and Windows Phone 7. Sorry, BlackBerry users. I guess you can always set an alarm or something.

[Seshmeister]

[FORD]

Apparently Camping crawled out of his hole yesterday and is now claiming that May 21 was some sort of "invisible judgment" from God, and that the "real" Rapture won't be until October 21. I'm surprised he didn't attempt to use the tornado in Joplin Missouri to make his case.

One of Camping's Family Radio flunkies is going to be on Thom Hartmann's radio show this morning, so that should be interesting

[Nitro Express]

[Seshmeister]

Apparently Camping crawled out of his hole yesterday and is now claiming that May 21 was some sort of "invisible judgment" from God, and that the "real" Rapture won't be until October 21.

Ah but remember the story of the old man who cried rapture, the third time it was real. At least Van Halen will be back from Australia as it's the most dangerous place to be during a rapture day because of time zones. The rest of us can repent at leisure later in the day leaving the planet to the Aussies, Kiwis and a bunch of hardcore Taliban.

[PETE'S BROTHER]

Ah but remember the story of the old man who cried rapture, the third time it was real. At least Van Halen will be back from Australia as it's the most dangerous place to be during a rapture day because of time zones. The rest of us can repent at leisure later in the day leaving the planet to the Aussies, Kiwis and a bunch of hardcore Taliban.

might stay till october 25th, just in case

[Hardrock69]

Ok this time it is on a Friday. Suspicious that he keeps predicting this to happen on or around a weekend. Guess he is factoring all the peeps that will be throwing end-of-the-world bashes.

Fucking tool.

[FORD]

[PETE'S BROTHER]

[Hardrock69]

[PETE'S BROTHER]

so, it was a "rupture".

Last Thursday, the elderly pastor and Family Radio host best known for birthing an all-consuming "May 21st" rapture meme suffered a stroke and was hospitalized. The Oakland Tribune reported that the 89-year-old Harold Camping's voice "may never be the same" after suffering a stroke that left his speech "a little bit slurred" according to a unnamed neighbor.

[Hardrock69]

Yeah...guess he is going to disappear from Earth this year.

[Seshmeister]

I think the whole thing was a practical joke.

Otherwise why did they have someone taking a shit on the posters???

[sadaist]

[SunisinuS]

Ah but remember the story of the old man who cried rapture, the third time it was real. At least Van Halen will be back from Australia as it's the most dangerous place to be during a rapture day because of time zones. The rest of us can repent at leisure later in the day leaving the planet to the Aussies, Kiwis and a bunch of hardcore Taliban.

I do believe Seshmeister is a Time Lord.

[clarathecarrot]

Is it ok to fornicate again ?

[BITEYOASS]

so, it was a "rupture".

Last Thursday, the elderly pastor and Family Radio host best known for birthing an all-consuming "May 21st" rapture meme suffered a stroke and was hospitalized. The Oakland Tribune reported that the 89-year-old Harold Camping's voice "may never be the same" after suffering a stroke that left his speech "a little bit slurred" according to a unnamed neighbor.

Did someone say stroke?

[PETE'S BROTHER]

Is it ok to fornicate again ?

yup

[Diamondjimi]

SAN FRANCISCO - The California radio preacher who predicted the world would end last month was recuperating Monday after suffering a mild stroke, his family and colleagues said.

Doctors have been monitoring the progress of 89-year-old radio host Harold Camping since he was taken by ambulance from his Alameda home on Thursday.

"He is presently recuperating in a local hospital and the doctors are pleased with his progress," Family Radio's special projects co-ordinator Michael Garcia said. "Mr. Camping's family appreciates your thoughts and prayers."

Camping's daughter, Susan Espinoza, said her father was recovering but had not been doing his regular live broadcasts from the threadbare headquarters of Family Radio International, near the Oakland airport.

"He's doing quite well," said Espinoza, who works at her father's network. "We haven't made a decision on what will happen with the radio broadcasts, but for now they are playing recorded programs."

Camping's media empire spent millions of dollars— some of it from donations made by followers — publicizing the evangelist's Rapture prediction over the past seven years.

When the apocalypse failed to occur on May 21, Camping was widely mocked and he called it "a very difficult time."

He has since insisted that his prediction was overall correct. On May 24 he clarified that a "spiritual" Judgment Day had begun three days earlier, placing the entire world under Christ's judgment, and said the Earth actually would be obliterated on Oct. 21.
LINK
Ain't Karma a bitch?

[PETE'S BROTHER]

old news :tongue0011:

http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/showt...=1#post1546611

[fifth element]

I do believe Seshmeister is a Time Lord.

eeks....Whatever you do...Don'T BLinK!