Man whips it out and whacks off on United flight

[Nitro Express]

DENVER (PIX11)

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It has all the elements of a horror movie: a snake, a plane and a couple of horrified passengers.

A Florida man faces a $5,000 fine after he allegedly masturbated on a United Airlines flight late last week while shocked passengers looked on in disbelief.

According to reports, 25-year-old Kyle Pierce was taken into custody shortly after United Airlines Flight 340 touched down in Denver on May 19. The flight flew in from Spokane, Washington.

A teenage passenger sitting next to Pierce first alerted flight attendants, after she witnessed the unsettling scene unfold before her eyes.

"I heard a noise and looked over and saw his penis," the 18-year-old woman told investigators, according to the criminal complaint. "He ejaculated and got some on the seat. Then he went to the bathroom for a long time."

Another passenger was alerted by a friend who saw Pierce pleasuring himself.

"My friend Zach turned to me and said, 'That man is masturbating' and in disbelief, I looked and saw his penis," Grayson Miller told authorities. "I hit him with a book in the arm, which caused him to stop and leave to the bathroom.After a while he returned."

Pearce remains in custody without bail following a court hearing Monday. If convicted of obscene and indecent exposure, he could get up to 90 days in jail in addition to a $5,000 fine.

He should be sent to Gitmo for setting off an explosion on an airplane.

[PETE'S BROTHER]

[Nickdfresh]

Well, United must have much hotter stewardesses than the ones I had on Southwest recently!

[VAiN]

He should be sent to Gitmo for setting off an explosion on an airplane.

[fryingdutchman]

That's definitely taking the whole "Mile High Club" concept a little too far.

Plus it's pathetic to "fly solo" (so to speak). If you're gonna get busted for having public sex on a flight, you might as well go for the gold and have it be with someone other than yourself.

[fryingdutchman]

Does anybody really think the 18 year old witness said "ejaculated?"

I'm guessing she went with "jizzed" or "spewed"...but they cleaned it up for publication.

[Nitro Express]

Well, United must have much hotter stewardesses than the ones I had on Southwest recently!

Southwest isn't what it used to be.

[Nitro Express]

That's definitely taking the whole "Mile High Club" concept a little too far.

Plus it's pathetic to "fly solo" (so to speak). If you're gonna get busted for having public sex on a flight, you might as well go for the gold and have it be with someone other than yourself.

I can remember when my mom had to buy me a suit to fly on a plane in the early 70's. The airlines had dress codes. If some dude pulled pork like that in the day he would have been beat to death by old ladies swinging handbags at him. My grandmother would have killed the fuck with hers. He wouldn't live long enough to make it to jail and society would say it was wonderful that the old ladies got rid of such a piece of perverted filth.

[Nickdfresh]

Southwest isn't what it used to be.

LOL Yeah, my thoughts exactly. Like they're doing some sort of penance or something...

[VAiN]

I can remember when my mom had to buy me a suit to fly on a plane in the early 70's. The airlines had dress codes.

Seriously... I HATE flying now... it's like a city bus in the sky.

[Seshmeister]

I can remember when my mom had to buy me a suit to fly on a plane in the early 70's. The airlines had dress codes.

I can remember smoking on a plane which seems really weird now.

[Nitro Express]

Seriously... I HATE flying now... it's like a city bus in the sky.

They wouldn't let you on the plane in jeans and a T shirt. You have to remember flying in the early 70's was still an upper class thing. It was a luxury. When you got on you got a complimentary bag with slippers in it and a few other things. The meals were served on real china with real silverware and you had choices of what you wanted to eat. If you were a kid the captain would pin wings on you as you departed the plane. It was a very different world. If you went to Hawaii, pretty Hawaiian girls would be at the bottom of the stairs with real flower leis and give you a kiss after they put it around your neck. Flying was fun then. In fact people used to enjoy going on business trips then. Now they hate it.

[Nitro Express]

When I was in kindergarten we flew on a Pan Am 707 overseas. The service on the plane really was like what is in this commercial. This is what flying used to be. It started to get more casual in the late 70's. I actually still have the wings they pinned on me from that trip.

[Nitro Express]

It's amazing how fat and sloppy people have gotten since then. We really have turned into McDonald's Sammy Hagar slob retards.

[Seshmeister]