Spammy Diet Tip: Listen To New Single Here, Then Vomit

[Loons The Great]

...Just occurred to me why I liked "Finish What Ya Started"...one of the few Van Hagar songs Sam didn't kill for me...but it was because on that one he was trying to sound more like Dave...

Wait....

OK, I just punched myself in the fucking face when I caught myself thinking "Holy fuck, does that mean there is actually a Van Hagar song I wouldn't mind hearing Dave do?" NO THERE ISN'T

There was a lil' Van Hagar on the Van Halen Family Band Bulldozin' This Land 2007 - 2008 Tour...Eddie would play some 316 during his solo...although I don't think every night...Wolf and Ed would play the dueling drills ala the 'Poundcake intro' during Everybody Wants Some or Somebody Get Me A Doctor mostly...an' nat'chly...this was the mo' best Van Hagar(if that's even possible)...INSTRUMENTAL Van Hagar!!

Chef had it right a long, long time ago...Shambo is not worth the time or energy...he is too insignificant to bother with...Sambo always believed anything too stupid to be spoken must be sung...

In other news, Sambo's birth certificate showed up at a local news station...wait, it was actually a letter to Sammy's Mammy...an apology from the condom factory!!

[Va Beach VH Fan]

I'm just struggling with the "raise the bar" statement....

Raise the bar with touring in bunch of clubs and other small venues ??

Raise the bar with their "Gold" album ?? I mean, fucking VH III went "Gold" !!

It's just the latest version of "Van Hagar sold 70 million albums".....

Fucking blowhard.....

[VAiN]

Enjoy this time, fat-fucking-clown... VH is rolling out soon and it will officially put you away for good.

[ODShowtime]

Hagar says "Chickenfoot raised the bar."

Really? Too bad no one knows where that bar is since no one 's listened to them.

[Terry]

I recall what Roth once said re:Hagar in an early 1990s interview, something along the lines of "Van Halen could reunite for 45 minutes at a Farm Aid show and it would eclipse everything the band has done since I left...I wonder how Sammy Hagar sleeps at night knowing this."

[Nickdfresh]

The bar Chickepoop ever raised was the one of cliched irrelevance....

[Etienne]

It doesn't matter if the new VH album with Roth is as good as one of the 6 pack or not. It will have an impact greater than Chickenfoot, just naturally...

[Coyote]

The very little Chickenfoot-material I've heard was NOT interesting. I've heard some bad Led Zep-copycats, but that shit's just Chinese watertorture for me...

[SunisinuS]

It doesn't matter if the new VH album with Roth is as good as one of the 6 pack or not. It will have an impact greater than Chickenfoot, just naturally...

It should not be that way. But it is what it is. Van Halen with David Lee Roth.

[sadaist]

The very little Chickenfoot-material I've heard was NOT interesting..

EXACTLY!

I heard 2 songs on youtube. Not bad songs by any stretch. But nothing that stood out. Not one part was hum-along sounding. Not 1 part would stick in your head the next day. Not 1 part would make you click 'replay'. It was just very boring, going through the motions, 1-2-3-note type formulaic rock music. No passion, no love, no drive, no energy, no oomphf!

It was very bland. Just like a piece of boiled white meat chicken. Tastes like everything else with no flavor. its the fucking sauce & marinades & how you cook it that make it any good.

They got no sauce. Boring.

[PETE'S BROTHER]

They got no sauce. Boring.

mikey quit that bbq thing?

[Jagermeister]

Yeah saw this yesterday and about shit. Actually I did shit because I was on the crapper.

[Loons The Great]

My posts have turned Joe Miller.

Joe Miller — An old, stale and/or corny joke. Named for the ancient and seemingly eternal Joe Miller's Joke Book. Miller (1684-1738) was a popular comic actor whose name was attached to a "book of jest" containing 247 quips ostensibly uttered (but probably not authored) by Miller. The book was published in 1739 and re-published, pirated and rewritten endlessly into the 19th century. Referred to in Dickens' A Christmas Carol when Scrooge mutters, "Joe Miller never made such a joke as sending [the turkey] to Bob's will be!" Since the contents were endlessly recycled, performers often referred to any joke that saw wide and repeated use as "a Joe Miller."

[ThrillsNSpills]

Any time we bring up the movie Crossroads Loons shows up.

coincidence?

doubtful

[chefcraig]

Talk about barf-inducing: The new Chickenfool single...

[FORD]

Wow, another Hagar song about how he loves to drive fast. How goddamn original. Cliche filled lyrics, as usual, and calling your second album "III", I think that was already done by the Travelling Wilburys, you tequila peddling jackass. And "get your boots on"? What was that, an attempt at ripping off U2's last album?

Sad thing is, this might have been a decent song with a real vocalist who can write lyrics.

[Loons The Great]

The scratches in Sam Hagar records are moments of relief.

Compare music to drinks. Some is like a strong brandy. Some is like a fine wine. The music you're playing sounds like Crystal Pepsi.

[chefcraig]

Loons, I'm surprised that you (nor FORD, for that matter) didn't notice that the hack stole the "Big foot on the gas" line from Don Nix' "Going Down", memorably covered by Freddie King and later by Jeff Beck.

[Loons The Great]

Funniest thing Michael Anthony has ever said, "Sammy is really coming up with some great lyrics!"

[VAiN]

Wow... lame as hell.

I agree, the fat-fucking-clown has definitely taken it to another level.

[Hardrock69]

Glad you guys had to waste some minutes of your life you can never get back. I think I listened to a couple of chickenass songs off the first album just to hear how Chad, bassplayer and Satch sounded together. The experience was ruined by some idiot who kept screeching over the instrumentals I was listening to.

I will not listen to this. I have no use for any music that has been soiled by the BurgerKlown. Fuck that worthless piece of cheesewhiz...

[Little Texan]

I've let farts that sounded better than that new abortion of a single by Chickenshit! Just more boring, mediocre drivel from the king of mediocrity. I had to laugh when it said something on the video about Chickenshit's debut album shaking the world of heavy rock in 2009. I don't remember hearing much about Chickenshit 2 years back, only the shitty song or two that was played on the radio for a couple of months, then never heard again afterward. If this new single is indicative of what the rest of the album is like, then I'd say that Van Halen could put out the worst album they've ever done and still soar over that "high" bar his mediocre band has supposedly set with this new album.

[Coyote]

Talk about barf-inducing: The new Chickenfool single...

Was that supposed to rock? Where's the chorus?

[Etienne]

Was that supposed to rock? Where's the chorus?

The answers are here:

http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/showt...ite-Rock-Songs

[Little Texan]

EXACTLY!

I heard 2 songs on youtube. Not bad songs by any stretch. But nothing that stood out. Not one part was hum-along sounding. Not 1 part would stick in your head the next day. Not 1 part would make you click 'replay'. It was just very boring, going through the motions, 1-2-3-note type formulaic rock music. No passion, no love, no drive, no energy, no oomphf!

It was very bland. Just like a piece of boiled white meat chicken. Tastes like everything else with no flavor. its the fucking sauce & marinades & how you cook it that make it any good.

They got no sauce. Boring.

This is a very accurate description of everything I've heard from Chickenpoot so far, and you'd think with the kind of musicians they have in that band, at least the musical side of the equation would sound good and rock hard, but it is just as you say...bland, boring, run of the mill, music by numbers drivel. Add Hagar's screechy, increasingly irritating voice and godawful, first grade level lyrics and you have what amounts to a big turd of an album.

[ThrillsNSpills]

It's like putting roadkill between two pieces of bread .

There was one ok riff on the first album but they just repeated it over and over and over, and if that wasn't enough the singer was screechin arriba riba riba . It's almost like they're deliberately disrespecting rock .

[chefcraig]

It's like putting roadkill between two pieces of bread .

I see I'm not the only one to have eaten at my ex-mother in law's house. Believe me, the skills were passed on to the daughter.

[DlocRoth]

It sounds like Mas Tequila with a slightly better backing band.

Pass. As usual.

[ThrillsNSpills]

arriba riba riba



target CF demographic

[ThrillsNSpills]

damn disappearing picture

[Little Texan]

Target CF Demographic:



Not the picture I wanted to use, but the cocksuckers wouldn't let me link to the picture of the guy without ears.

[lesfunk]

That chickenfoot single is like shoving a live marmot up your ass.

[Unchainme]

Don't toss trash at me for this..but there's only been one time Hagar's done anything really "legit" in terms of being a Rock N' Roll star....

...When he was involved with Montrose...

It begins and ends there, anything after that's drenched in cheese. And even then, a song like "Bad Motor Scooter" is fucking lame.

So congrats Sam, your career peaked for only 2 brief years in the mid to early 70's.

[toplr]

whatever Van Halen are cooking in the studio it better be good, cause Chickenfoot just raised the bar with this guitar based hard rock masterpiece:



Mikey's background vocals sound so hot.

Chickenfoot are at the top of their game with this sonic gem.

You can complain, You can whine, and most sincerely, You can squirm...

But one fact remains....

If Van Halens record is mediocre....

It's gonna tank when compared next to this radio friendly classic!

I do hope Chickenfoot's Big Foot doesn't end up stomping on a fresh turd from Van Halen.

So its up to Van Halen, the game is on thanks to Chickenfoot!

I know who you want to win, but can Van Halen really do it? I do hope so.

[VAiN]

whatever Van Halen are cooking in the studio it better be good, cause Chickenfoot just raised the bar with this guitar based hard rock masterpiece:



Mikey's background vocals sound so hot.

Chickenfoot are at the top of their game with this sonic gem.

You can complain, You can whine, and most sincerely, You can squirm...

But one fact remains....

If Van Halens record is mediocre....

It's gonna tank when compared next to this radio friendly classic!

I do hope Chickenfoot's Big Foot doesn't end up stomping on a fresh turd from Van Halen.

So its up to Van Halen, the game is on thanks to Chickenfoot!

Kindly fuck off.

[Matt White]

"Chickenfoot are at the top of their game with this sonic gem."

Really....put down the crack pipe...............

another mid-tempo dose of "Soccer-Mom rock" thanks to Chickenshit............



Farking Sheepeople.......

[Seshmeister]

I'm sure the second album will be better than the first which was surprisingly poor, it has to be.

Single sounds 'by numbers' again though. Hagar coming up with mediocre melodies is no shock but you would think the band would do more.

Nothing you haven't heard 1000 times before.

[toplr]

Kindly fuck off.

Really....put down the crack pipe...............

Hey no offense meant people, although I realise anything from Sammy has 'Offensive' written all over it on this site.

Im just saying that you guys better get ready for a war.

It's gonna be fought on the radio, on the internet, in ticket sales, merchandise, media and the number of discs sold.

I really want Van Halen to produce an earth shattering sonic overload that settles this once and all.

Sammy Hagar has pissed all over David Lee Roth for over 20 years.

It's time to stop the rot!

[PETE'S BROTHER]

[chefcraig]

Im just saying that you guys better get ready for a war.

Just what the world needs: Advice from the French about warfare.

"Bonjourrr, yah cheese-eatin' surrender monkeys!"