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Thread: A Statement Of Fact Regarding Roth Army And The Mighty Van Halen.....

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    A Statement Of Fact Regarding Roth Army And The Mighty Van Halen.....

    This is for all you troll-like retarded fucks that show up here from time to time, accusing us at the Roth Army of somehow "hating" Edward Van Halen.

    You can go fuck yourselves. Go jump in front of a fucking train. Go die in a fire.
    You obviously have nothing in between your worthless fucking ears but air. It is obvious to anyone who does have half a brain that you do not know what the fuck you are talking about.

    1. Sure, we complain about Ed. We complain about the lack of communication from Howdy-Doody Mountain. We complain about the fact that he appears to ignore what his FANS want in some areas. No, I am not talking about "guitarists", because he does seem hell-bent on selling his EVH brand, for which none of us can fault him. We complain about his unwillingness to release concerts on DVD from the period of Classic Van Halen. We complain about his unwillingness to update us on the "band".
    We complained in the past about his unwillingness to get back with Uncle Dave, and we still complain (until things change) that Ed seems unwilling to get Michael Anthony back in the game.

    2. We complain about this out of severe frustration, you dumb motherfuckers, not because we "hate" anyone, much less Ed.

    We know what a talent he is, what he was, and what he will be. We know how influential he was and still is. If he and Al had not wound up in L.A. courtesy of his parents, we would all be on other website forums discussing other bands. Dave might not have made it as big as he did, perhaps Mike might not have gone anywhere either. But the fact remains, Van Halen DID exist as a band, and DID freak out the entire musical community on Earth when they arrived, and did create not only legions of fans, but legions of inspired guitarists, many of whom were moved by the incredible atomic blast of Van Halen as a band to pick up guitars and learn how to play.

    3. We bitch because we KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that Van Halen is one of the most awe-inspiring, kickass purveyors of Big Rock to ever grace this planet. There has never been, and never will be, any band who has their incredible combination of virtuosity, blatant over-the-top showmanship, high-volume hard rock histrionics and reverent (and irreverent) tips of the hat to the forefathers (and mothers) of hard rock. They took songs by artists such as The Kinks, Roy Orbison, Linda Ronstadt, and Martha and the Vandellas, and made them their own. Sure, doing cover songs on albums reek of Major Label meddling, but even so, their versions of classic 20th-century rock, pop and R & B standards are unique to themselves.

    4. There have been accusations of us at Roth Army being blind fanbois who worship the ground Van Halen walks on without ever having even seen the real deal. Those of you who say such things can go fuck yourself in the ass with a chainsaw. Your delusional infantile rantings are the product of fathers who were earning quarters sucking off gayboi prostitutes, and retarded mothers who fucked anything that moved, including all forms of domestic and farm animals.

    In short, you are inbred retards who wish you could belong, and are jealous of the Roth Army for being a great group of people who hang together at rotharmy.com having a great time while being in awe of The Mighty Van Halen.

    5. Sure we bitch about Ed. But we KNOW what Van Halen is about, and WE WANT MORE.

    We were deeply saddened by the departure of Uncle Dave in the mid-80s, and a majority of us here at Roth Army were dismayed when the fat, chickenshit klown was asked to front the band.

    We waited for years while this fluffy-puff version of Van Halen toured the world, hoping beyond hope that perhaps someday Uncle Dave would be asked back.

    Many of us continued to go see Van Hagar, simply to see Ed, Al, and Mike in action, while tolerating the idiot who once said that "only time will tell if we can stand the test of time".

    We were glad when the tequila salesman finally got the boot in the mid-90s, and perplexed by the replacement, Gary Cherone. Better than having Patti Smith as the vocalist, but still.....WTF?

    There was the infamous "almost reunion" that crashed and burned before even actually going anywhere in the late 90s. Our hopes were dashed, but we still held on.

    We suffered through the van hagar "reunion" tour in 2004, watching as Ed disintegrated before our eyes. Yes, we were severely troubled to see such a genius behave as he did, but then, in a small way, we were glad of the reasons behind it......we had seen long before what an idiot the "frontman" was, and we were glad that Ed finally saw the light and told Spamulus Flatulus to go fuck himself.

    The fallout engulfed Mike though, and so hopes for a full-bore reunion were dimmed even further.

    But still we held on.

    The 2007-2008 reunion tour was a major leap forward, but naturally we felt short-changed. We understand Ed wanting to help his son. What father does not? And even though we still bitch about it, we ALL understand that Wolfy got to do something incredible.....he is one of only 7 people on Earth to actually BE a member of Van Halen.


    So......here we are. Indications are that Van Halen may be playing at the Grammy Awards in February of 2012. There are slight indications that we may get what we want: A reunion of the original lineup.

    We will not hold our breath for that, as we have lived with disappointment of one kind or another for the past 25 years.

    But we always have been, and always will be fans of the only TRUE lineup of the Mighty Van Halen:

    Edward Van Halen
    Michael Anthony
    David Lee Roth
    Alex Van Halen



    6. Some of us have met various members of the band. General consensus is they are all cool people.
    None of US have ever been internally involved with the band. We can only imagine the stress involved in being one of the biggest rock bands on the planet. We have seen people in such a lofty position crack and fall apart (and sometimes die) as a result of the extreme pressures involved in being an A-list rocker in the Music Business, which is operated by Satan.

    We can only make commentary from OUR point of view as THE FANS who have lived with disappointment and frustration now for 25 years....just wanting more of this incredible band.

    You cannot blame us for wanting more. Nobody can.

    So despite the idiot thinking of some of the Cro-Mag borons who show up here from time to time, we do not wish ill will on Ed at all. We respect his abilities and wish him the best.

    But we only know what we REALLY want.

    We want the band who blew our minds to get back together and tour.

    Fans of some other bands cannot have that. Like say, The Who, or Led Zeppelin due to the fact that members of those bands are no longer with us.

    But WE are fortunate in that all 4 of the original members of Van Halen are still alive and kicking.

    So there is always hope that we can see them together again.

    Anyone who says we hate Ed, or wish ill-will towards him or his son are full of motherfucking shit.

    That's all I have to say, except that you trolls can go eat shit and fucking die.
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    Wow....

    Well done Sir, well done indeed....
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    Catherine was one of the best pieces Eddie ever gave. You want programmed rock. Input formula out put formulated. Even if the ChiChi's started flooding the channels with a free download daily.. it would be like eeww.. but but we what the refraction We want the KFC (Sony). Only franchised flavors will do. Art of sound oh no... that will not do! Give prefabbed! Give the standard fare.
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    In other words, you are saying Goober eat automobile wax, foley brown inside fruit-loops of the cog wheel magazine fluff tone Jebus.

    G-g-g-g-gee Beach. Thanks for the sticky!

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    Actually, I did the sticky. But thank YOU for the best post of 2011!

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    Oh, so thank YOU sir!

    Funny when inspiration strikes....gotta get to it and put pen to paper....or fingers to keyboard.

    Just felt like publishing sort of a detailed mission statement so we can refer all the losers to it when they stop in to demonstrate their stupidity to us.

    Oh, and it applies to anyone else in the band, not just Ed. No we do not hate Mike, no we do not hate Al, no we do not hate Wolfy, no we certainly do not hate Uncle Dave.

    Now a certain former lead klown-ass of the band...sure, we despise "it". Hate is a rather strong word, but "disgusted" would be another good term. So the poor wretches can accuse us of hating on Spambot, but they cannot get a rise out of us for doing that, because they are correct!
    Last edited by Hardrock69; 11-05-2011 at 03:17 AM.

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    and thanks HR for making it in your inimitable posting style. you sir, have my utmost respect. (yeah, i know you knew that already).
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    Thanks Ash. You rule.

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    well said sir! A M E N to that!
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    Think my sentiments toward Ed and Van Halen these days mostly are in the form of disappointment.

    As young (14) and buzzed (3rd generation homegrown + Peppermint Schnapps) as I was back in 1984 when I saw Van Halen, I was lucky enough to have seen the real deal. They were the kings of the hard rock heap back then, at least stateside.

    Remembering what was (and, for those who couldn't, it really takes no more than a listen to any of the first 6 Van Halen albums to get the jist) and seeing what is, it's just sad.

    No matter how bad Ed fucks up these days and no matter how hopeless the band are in getting their shit together now, one can never deny what Van Halen meant to rock music and Ed meant to the guitar as a primary instrument in rock. In many ways, both Van Halen and Ed were in a class of one. The proof? For all those rock bands and guitarists so obviously influenced by Van Halen who were signed and released albums in Van Halen's wake, precious few came close to getting it right.

    The disappointment (not the same as anger) comes in knowing damn well that Ed and the band are capable of much more than what they have devolved into.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hardrock69 View Post
    In other words, you are saying Goober eat automobile wax, foley brown inside fruit-loops of the cog wheel magazine fluff tone Jebus.

    G-g-g-g-gee Beach. Thanks for the sticky!

    Something like that....
    Actually, my response was tl;dr

    Now that it is 9am Monday morning (joke!) with coffee in hand, It's a good read.

    I wish all the members were prolific and openly shared their works ( the good, the bad, or the ugly) , individually and as a group.

  17. #13
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    great post...

    I, for one, hate Edward Van Halen...

    and to be honest...the feelings are starting to creep into the entirety of the band. I'm so sick of this fucking bullshit time and time and time again.

    I don't have fucking time in my damn life to worry about these fucking egomaniacs any more...

    Put out a fucking album...get on a fucking tour...and be done with it. All this bullshit in between is better served on a daytime soap...

    and if memory serves, all those daytime soaps are going under...so fuck it...

    In 10 years, there will be no NEW material to worry about, because one of these idiots will likely kick the bucket...after...

    announcing a tour kicking off in Myanmar...scheduling it...cancelling because of ball cancer...rescheduling it in Nunuvut...cancelling because Dave showed up with an autographed cup, worn by Janie...hiring Mitch Malloy (who really isn't a real person)...firing Mitch Malloy...hiring Sammy Hagar...firing Sammy when he shows up wearing a red wig with a Tequila bottle sticking out of his ass, singing about fried eggs, tornadoes, and weed in Amsterdam...hiring Justin Beiber...recording an album...firing Beiber when it's found out he's having a "friendship" with Beethoven...Wolfgang...whatever...rehiring Dave, who's decided to put out an album of VH classics using an alphorn, a vuvazela, an accordian and a ukelele....firing Dave because he showed up to 5150, banged the maid, Ed's wife again, and waved to a neighbor which prompted spED to state that Dave said, "It's not about your hip." With the three to four years between each hiring...all the members of the band will be in their mid to late 90's...and well...nature will take it's course...

    except for Michael...who will assuredly join Wolfgang in the new Van Halen...
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    LMMFAO- go fuck yourself in the ass with a chainsaw. Great line.

    I have saw them 4 times. 2 at Texxas Jam 78 (1 Jul 78). They played early in the day after Walter Egan. That was the first time I had ever been at a event with that many people. To see the entire crowded Cotton Bowl do the fist pump and be part of it during Ain't talking bout love (Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey) was a memorable experience. That first Jam was great and anybody who was there will tell you that VH stole the show. Without a doubt a crowd favorite. I am not sure but I think they played the entire first album. Funny how some things remained burned in your mind over the years. It was so great because my buds and I were close to the stage. At that time of the day (1030 AM...ish) the stage still provided shade to the crowd that was close to the front. It was still cool if there is such a thing in Texas in July. It was not too long and it was a inferno down there. Without a doubt those guys TRULY Electrified the entire cotton bowl!

    Texxas Jam 79 was my 2nd. Then once at Midland Texas, Chaparral center- Stage barricade collapse 15 July 79. I got a nice scar out of that one and then 85 or 86 with Sammy. So I guess that one don't count. o. Hope this materializes into a 2012 tour.
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    Everybody has seen the 2 second clip of elite works with Eddie on the Stage at the Cotton bowl 78. In that clip there is a guy sitting down with water dripping on him. The people at the Cotton bowl had lined the short wall at the edge of the cotton bowl floor with rain gutter and PVC pipe that had holes drilled in it to provide a steady source of water for drinking. Kind of like a continual water fountain all around the field perimeter. That was a great Idea in theory, but as people continually climbed out of the field and jumped into the field the 1.5 inch PVC broke due to somebody standing on it and then probably at 3 pm in the afternoon we were standing in ankle deep water. I still remember the guy tripping his ass off. Sitting on a blanket that was underwater who had just thrown up on himself. That day was HOT as Hell.

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    My days spent caring about this band are quickly dwindling. Could just be my advanced age (at least I'm younger than you, HR!) and my desire for complete simplicity in life, but I just don't get caught up in the day to day rumors, wonderings, ponderings anymore and can barely even muster interest in anything less than an official word from the band.

    I don't hate anyone. I will always love this band and all it has given me over the years. I will always love and keep close the music they have given me. The rest just doesn't matter anymore.

    I will buy any new music if and when it happens. I will see them on tour if and when it happens. Beyond that I'm letting go of it all, physically and mentally. Everything short of the music and Dave's book are going on Ebay when I feel ambitious enough to tackle that! Scrapbooks went in the garbage already last year.

    I feel more liberated already. It is extremely exhausting loving this band. It shouldn't be that way. I'm too tired and old for it. OK, I'm only in my 40's like most of you, but I've been there since 1978 and it's been a long, long journey!

    Edward has always said he's just a musician. He is ignorant to the idea that there are people out there that spend every day waiting and wondering. Most people don't get that. In the end, I try not to judge what other people do. Just because he doesn't do everything the way we want him to is really our problem, not his. Let go of your expectations of others and life goes on with no disappointments.

    Remember the good old days and enjoy whatever comes in the future as it comes! It's all good!

    Sermon over. Peace out, Army!
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    I am waiting for somebody to BUST me out for posting off topic. Let me say in advance. Excuse me.

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    Thumbs up HR!!!
    GREAT POST
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    Quote Originally Posted by John_Downing View Post
    I am waiting for somebody to BUST me out for posting off topic. Let me say in advance. Excuse me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze View Post
    Catherine was one of the best pieces Eddie ever gave. You want programmed rock. Input formula out put formulated. Even if the ChiChi's started flooding the channels with a free download daily.. it would be like eeww.. but but we what the refraction We want the KFC (Sony). Only franchised flavors will do. Art of sound oh no... that will not do! Give prefabbed! Give the standard fare.
    programmed piece chi chi flood down load eeww but but want flavor no that will not do give give...




    yes it was good for me but not as good a sammiches now get out in that kitchen and rattle those pots and pans...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hardrock69 View Post

    You can go fuck yourselves. Go jump in front of a fucking train. Go die in a fire.
    You obviously have nothing in between your worthless fucking ears but air. It is obvious to anyone who does have half a brain that you do not know what the fuck you are talking about.

    That's all I have to say, except that you trolls can go eat shit and fucking die.
    You know, I'd love to go to a seminar with you where the focus is on people building skills.
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    On subject: > I always thought this site was about us hanging out and jiving the booshay of that that what makes a day Van Halen is the reason we come together and I agree with all that has been said but really...music is something that lies in the hands of the creator.

    I am sure none of these guys are sitting in a dark corner waiting to make fans happy.

    Like us they probably think they will spend thier money doing what we do having a good time not speculating with it on a 75 million dollar possibility of sucsess tour / record deal.


    I want professional thought to be what I grasp from any VH Roth project.
    Like NG I have no ill will anymore

    and Yokos' new tv show hot in cleveland is funny as hell..lol
    Last edited by clarathecarrot; 11-05-2011 at 12:04 PM.

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    Hardrock69 for President!!

    Well played sir!!!
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    I thank Ed for giving us some unique music and guitar work that will stand on it's own brilliance over time. To be honest, I'm amazed Eddie Van Halen is still alive due to his various addictions to substances and poor lack of judgement. The man was known to drive fast drunk. Amazing he never got in a car wreck. He's a testament the human body can take a real load of booze, nicotine, and cocaine and still keep going. The man is alive and fortunately he didn't kill anyone driving his cars drunk but he did kill his career and he did kill his band.
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    Michael Jordan was at one time the greatest basketball player in the world, surrounded by a team with talent of their own, who together were a virtually unstoppable force. Highlight films of his heyday are something to behold and fans of his are fortunate to be able to procure them should they be so inclined. At the same time these fans KNOW that his time in the sun has passed, he knows it too. It would be ludicrous to think anybody is waiting for him to return and perform at the level he once did all those summers ago.
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    yeah, but basketball sucks and rock music rules. bad analogy. HR; skeletor wants to go to a SEMENar with ya!!!!!

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    Excellent post, HR!!



    And btw, Bleater...tell that "past his prime" shit to Jeff Beck, still peeling paint off walls (of arenas) well into his 60s. Don't count Ed out.
    Last edited by jhale667; 11-05-2011 at 04:35 PM.
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  34. Thanked jhale667 for this KICKASS post:

    VAiN (11-05-2011)


  35. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by John_Downing View Post
    I am waiting for somebody to BUST me out for posting off topic. Let me say in advance. Excuse me.
    You were speaking to the greatness of Van Halen, so I don't think that was off topic at all. It's not like you made basketball analogies or something stupid like that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    You know, I'd love to go to a seminar with you where the focus is on people building skills.
    I could teach a college-level course on people building skills.

    But, on the reverse, I could teach a college-level course on people destruction skills.

    You could too.

    I also would love to attend a course with you. On whatever subject. It would be interesting to see you get pissed off and unload on someone who deserves it. But then, I have seen that here.

    Poor Jimmy Page. I just heard from my inside sources that he is ready to commit suicide because you hate his guts.

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    Oh, and it seems people from other sites have been reading my post. Have heard from some peeps who totally understand where I am coming from.

    I wrote this not only on my behalf, but on the behalf of everyone who has expressed irritation or frustration over the never-ending soap opera coming from Coldwater Canyon.

    Like Pojo says....lotsa peeps are fed up with the shit and just want the band (the original 4) to get out and tour.

    Thanks for all your kind words everyone.

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    Your thousandth "Thank You" brother Hardrock69 . One of The Roth Army's top soldier knocks another one out of the park.

    Stellar thread bro, every word the gospel!

    Roth the fuck on!!!
    =VH=
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    Oh, and Northern Girl? Nice to see you back here again sweetie! Long time no see!

  40. #33
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    Fantastic post, HR!

    Its easy to blame one half of the dynamic duo when we are on the other half's most bestest site.

    I dont think its our lack of love..... I think its Ed's perceived lack of interest, commitment, and dedication to sobriety that makes us flame on him.

    I dont hate Ed. I just hate the decisions he makes.

    Love ya, SpEd! Now get your fucking head outta your ass.
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    Holy shit! 1,000 times?

    Meh....took me 6 years and an awful lotta typing.

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    Oh and by the way, Pojo, Mitch Malloy would have been a great addition to VH. He lives here in Gnashville and I have seen him sing in clubs. He is a good singer.

    Though in the VH Historical Archives, he is somewhat less than a footnote.
    Last edited by Hardrock69; 11-06-2011 at 01:39 AM.

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    Dupe post

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hardrock69 View Post
    Oh, and Northern Girl? Nice to see you back here again sweetie! Long time no see!
    You too, HR, but I'm actually here every day!


  45. #38
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    THATS what I'm talkin' 'bout HR..............

    "Hate" EVH???

    Yeah....how many of us GOT our 1st guitars in 1984???

    And "Van-Halenized" em imediately???

    Its that fine line between Love and Hate.....

    Imagine if Babe Ruth climbed to the top of the mountain...and then fell off because he was a slobbering drunk....well, half imagine.........

    SheeeeeeIT......
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  46. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hardrock69 View Post
    Oh and by the way, Pojo, Mitch Malloy would have been a great addition to VH. He lives here in Gnashville and I have seen him sing in clubs. He is a good singer.

    Though in the VH Historical Archives, he is somewhat less than a footnote.
    Your lucky I don't make this my tag line...

    seriously...are you fucking kidding me...

    Next thing you know...someone's going to tell me he sings like an alien (IE...Eddie describing Bette and Brown Leisure Suit fag)

    ...a great addition to Van Halen?

    Holy hell...

  47. #40
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    I don't hate spED for being a drunk...I don't hate spED for deciding to take time off for whatever reason...I don't hate spED for hiring Bette, or the writing idiot in a Brown Leisure Suit...I don't hate spED for all his anti-hero, douchebagginess over the past 27 odd years. Christ, you could make a case that his behavior pales in comparison to Dave in many respects...

    What I hate spED for, and where he differs from Roth...and really...most every human being...

    ...is his total disregard for the former millions that followed him and built their first guitars to emulate his...

    ...no...better yet...his total ignorant behavior is likely the better term...

    ...and hate isn't the word...

    ...antipathy is...mixed with indifference...

    Now, "a big announcement" will take place...

    seriously...no fucking clue...

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