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Thread: Some Thioughts on CHRISTmas

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    Some Thioughts on CHRISTmas

    1.) It's here. Again. Nothing so special about that except that not even corporate America can sell it to a unsuspecting horde of brain dead consumers; even the malls are dead. Sure, they'll crowd close today, tomorrow and on the "Eve" where shit bags like Wal-Mart will once again, not give a fuck about their employees and make them work it right though until 12:00PM Christmas day. If you shop there please kill yourself now. Which brings me to

    2.) Wanting to kill yourself at Christmas time. My advice? Don't. Sure all that infested Dean Martin Christmas music where Dean in his holiday sweater programming us that this is the "most wonderful time of the year" and we buy into it like a Marlin fish at a ZZ Top concert. Okay, facts: it isn't, winter blows and Dean was a frustrated homosexual who drank himself to death under the auspicious of the Illuminati. Of course, I cannot prove this but it has been rumored on the internet so it MUST be true. Besides, no one in your family want to plan your funeral when they can't come up with an idea on how to get rid of the god damn tree. Wait until the next season of American Idol - you'll be glad you did.

    3.) Midnight Mass guilt attendance. Um, you'd be better off killing yourself.

    4.) Egg Nog/Rum drinks. Toxic, expensive and highly fattening. Over 300 calories in a shot alone! Apparently not one has killed off Spammy yet so drink up. Combine with your favorite neighbor-baked cookie, $5 vino or black tar heroin. But remember, moderation.

    5.) Family. Ah, toughie, this one. Well, were you good and ass kissed the richest member of yours? Sure, they may not have bought you a plasma TV and a recovering meth-addicted hooker but what they did get you may beat a bland gift certificate card at Wal-Mart where all you are doing is making some poor fucker's life more miserable as you make them wait on you so you can get your retarded XBox 'Call Of Duty' on the "Eve" so you can avoid the crowds on the 26 when you return every god damn sweater you mother bought you in money so you can go out and buy your own recovering meth-addicted hooker. Asshole.

    6.) Christmas music. If it's not Brain Setzer then you suck. See #2

    7.) I fucking hate neo-Nazi Ebeneezers. Fuck you and all your negative shit. "I hate Christmas" Yeah!? Well, the world, Jesus and every Wal-Mart employee hates you. Fuck you and your hipster coats loaded with razor blades that you feed to kittens. Say "I hate Christmas" to my face and I'll shove that whatever generation iPod touch loaded with your crappy Dubstep right up your skinny jean hipster ass. Tell you what, either spend the rest 364 days working for your perfect ideal Utopia or shut the fuck up for good, Deal?

    8.) Snow. Cloaked Christmas racism.

    9.) Homeless people. May God bless them. And be thankful you have a family, home and warmth to enjoy unwrapping your whatever generation iPod so you can "download" your shitty Dubstep crap while others suffer (some by choice, most not) in a cold alley, you whining miserable Starbucks-sipping fuck. Life can change on your sad ass just as quick.

    10.) Have a Merry one yourself. But you're still an asshole.
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    Dean Martin is gay? I wonder if Sinatra knows?
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    XMas Ale is the reason for the season.

    Last edited by Unchainme; 12-22-2011 at 01:09 AM.
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    Lots of great winter brews out there, but I usually go back to the Snow Cap Ale, by default....


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    My advice to you is to drink heavily.
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    Kristy, would you like a hug?
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    If you focus in on the tacky part of Christmas, yeah, it's horrible.

    But it's a time to re-charge and spend some time with your loved ones. My working life is busy, and I'm glad of a week to spend with Mrs binnie.....

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    uhhhh....Happy Holidays to everyone...
    regardless of race, creed or other personnal beliefs.....

    Listen to some good music,
    talk to some good friends, (or barring that, to some intelligent ones),
    have a drink or more, just for fun....

    and enjoy life and love....
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unchainme View Post


    XMas Ale is the reason for the season.
    ugh. i don't like that stuff. more for you!

    i should be more sympathetic toward the retail crowd. my mom managed movie theaters when we were younger, we'd eat dinner early and she'd have to go to work at 5 pm. but that meant one of two things...either we were going to the movies (on Christmas!) or she'd leave us at home, and we would be able to play the new video games we got all night and not have anyone telling us to turn them off.
    Last edited by twonabomber; 12-22-2011 at 04:56 AM.
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    If I didn't know better, I would think that you give a shit.
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    Kristy you channeled all that animosity into something pretty damned relevant. Cheers!
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    I read all of Kristy's post and just want to say is, I am sorry, for once again having her find me passed out on her doorstep, with a empty bottle of Chamagne in my hand,dressed only in a crystal blue sequin thong and 237 dollars in 1 dollar bills stuck in the waistband.

    and that I cannot remember where I left her Little Bopeep outfit..and that the cat box litter in my beard, was a set up.

    Merry and a Happy to all.
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    Quote Originally Posted by binnie View Post
    I'm glad of a week to spend with Mrs binnie.....

    The other 51 of us here are glad for our weeks too Binn....we are too.




















    hmm...too much? lol. Nah. Tis the season for bad jokes as well. Have a good one Binnie.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    1.)
    please kill yourself now.
    Fuck you and all your negative shit.
    Have a Merry one yourself. But you're still an asshole.
    That would make a great Hallmark KRISTmas card, wouldn't it?
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    Family visits are a lot like fish... both start to stink after two days...
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZahZoo View Post
    Family visits are a lot like fish... both start to stink after two days...
    Catch and release.......



    The best policy with family during the Solstice.
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoungeMachine View Post
    Catch and release.......



    The best policy with family during the Solstice.
    It's even better if you simply manage to outlive the lame-assed, "Do nothing because WE are on vacation", freeloading bastards. About every other year that goes by, I check another one off the list. Cuts down on Christmas card postage as well.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    1.)
    please kill yourself now.
    Fuck you and all your negative shit.
    Have a Merry one yourself. But you're still an asshole.
    Quote Originally Posted by ThrillsNSpills View Post
    That would make a great Hallmark KRISTmas card, wouldn't it?
    Yep, sure would.

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    Yeah, the commercialization of the holiday and the blatant materialism on display are a bit off-putting...

    However, I'm looking forward to down time. Time off with the missus and hanging with our friends.

    I think I'm gonna get REAL drunk, like, on Xmas eve.

    At any rate, Merry Xmas, fuckers!
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    Merry Satanmas!

    The solstice is tomorrow. Don't forget to sacrifice something.
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    Good idea. Gonna build my altar.

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    I mess up. The solstice was today. Oh well. One day late. I haven't kidnapped my virgin yet.



    I'm going to get drunk and have a riotice occasion.
    Last edited by Nitro Express; 12-23-2011 at 12:08 AM.

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    But for those who truly know. Happy Saturnalia!

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    btw, any of you with clear skies... (not me atm) there's a beautiful comet in the pre dawn sky. ba rum pa pa pum.



    http://www.skyandtelescope.com/obser...136099108.html
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    Well shit, that lets me out...... No sky at all here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ThrillsNSpills View Post
    That would make a great Hallmark KRISTmas card, wouldn't it?
    Hi, Thrills. I have my own Christmas card for you.


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    Of course Jesus really is boring. Satan has given me more misery than pleasure. Let's be realistic. The best thing about Christmas is the excuse to buy more gear. Sadly there is no Santa Clause. Don't we wish we really would wake up and go out in the living room and see a Marshall stack and a 59 Les Paul. Oh well. Growing up is a bitch.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    Hi, Thrills. I have my own Christmas card for you.
    Pete also hated Led Zeppelin.


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    Quote Originally Posted by ashstralia View Post
    btw, any of you with clear skies... (not me atm) there's a beautiful comet in the pre dawn sky. ba rum pa pa pum.



    http://www.skyandtelescope.com/obser...136099108.html
    Comet Lovejoy (2011 W3) rising over Western Australia from Colin Legg on Vimeo.

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    awesome LT!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post

    6.) Christmas music. If it's not Brain Setzer then you suck. See #2
    You really MUST stop doing that to the name "Brian." C'mon Kristy, "I" before "A" except when it's this...





    But seriously.....Happy Christmas luv!
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    Fucking hell. Sweet photo!


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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    1.) 6.) Christmas music. If it's not Brain Setzer then you suck. See #2
    I love that CD. And I'm not afraid to say it! Obviously you have good taste.

    But fuck egg nogg. It's vanilla embalming fluid.
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    Zip,Have Some Kiwi Snow.
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    Hey Kristy, I have a special meat-popsicle for you for Christmas!



    Don't despair just because it's Christmas
    Children they're all so gay at Christmas
    All the children on the street
    Hope they get something good to eat
    But for me it's not so great
    Fuck Christmas!
    Fuck Christmas!
    Fuck Christmas!
    Merry Kristymas Mrs. Scroogeykins!

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    Quote Originally Posted by aesop View Post
    I love that CD. And I'm not afraid to say it! Obviously you have good taste.

    But fuck egg nogg. It's vanilla embalming fluid.
    Brian has several christmas albums. I put together some christmas MP3's to play over the holidays. I got christmas music from Brian Setzer to Joey Ramone. I threw in some Dean Martin too. I don't drink egg nogg. I pour some brandy in a sifter and warm it up in the microwave. That's my winter drink. Another thing I like to do is take some champaign up the ski hill with me and hide the bottles in the snow off in the trees. Ski all day and before the last run find the chilled champaign and drink it. Always good to stash some munchies like cheese, crackers, goose patte, smoked oysters and even caviar.
    Last edited by Nitro Express; 12-24-2011 at 04:52 AM.

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    Oooooh fun!

    I like cognac and grand marnier warmed in a snifter. It's that girl/sweet thing.

    and I make killer eggnog from scratch - but it's got so much heavy cream in it, I haven't done it in years, it's just a heart attack waiting to happen.

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