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Thread: "The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

  1. #1721
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    HHAHAHAHA!

    You guys HAVE to see this sticker on ebay. Use the zoom feature when you mouse over & look at Sammys face. WHAT THE FUCK! HAHAHAHAHAHA! That is fucked up man.


    http://www.ebay.com/itm/Van-Halen-Ra...item3371e416a5
    George Michael....watch out....Whammy Hagar!!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    OMFG DUDES!!!

    Saw this in the Circle-K today and bought them of course. AWESOME!!!


    This is for real? Not a photoshop trick? Damn! Someone used their brain at Doritos. I got to find me a bag and get two six packs of Sol to go with it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by NIN1211 View Post
    George Michael....watch out....Whammy Hagar!!!!
    Sammy sounds and moves like George Michael knocked of bowling pin up his ass with a sledge hammer.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    This is for real? Not a photoshop trick? Damn! Someone used their brain at Doritos. I got to find me a bag and get two six packs of Sol to go with it.

    100% REAL!

    Got a bag at the Circle-K. You know on regular Doritos when you get that dark orange chip covered with cheese spices and think "Oh my God this is gonna be the best chip ever!"? Well, every chip in the Tapatio bag looks like that.
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    Quote Originally Posted by BenJammin View Post

    But you gotta love this part of the seller's writeup "this has to be the coolest VH Sticker i've seen! This is an absolute must for the True Fan."

    Uhhhh, okay dude.
    HA! I didn't even read the ad. Was just seeing if a "....I can barely see the road" VH sticker was for sale. But you can't blame the guy. Obviously if it truly was the coolest sticker he would not be selling it would he? LOL. He's just trying to get rid of the damn thing.

  6. #1726
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    HHAHAHAHA!

    You guys HAVE to see this sticker on ebay. Use the zoom feature when you mouse over & look at Sammys face. WHAT THE FUCK! HAHAHAHAHAHA! That is fucked up man.


    http://www.ebay.com/itm/Van-Halen-Ra...item3371e416a5
    This has to be the gayest thing I've ever seen. And the douche selling it thinks it's the greatest VH sticker ever??? Really??? I feel sorry for whatever kid had one of these on his school notebook back in the day...
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    Quote Originally Posted by DONNIEP View Post
    This has to be the gayest thing I've ever seen. And the douche selling it thinks it's the greatest VH sticker ever??? Really??? I feel sorry for whatever kid had one of these on his school notebook back in the day...

    No. He just wants to sell it.

    Anything you want to get rid of is THE GREATEST THING EVER OMG YOU NEED TO BUY THIS NOW!!!

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    God dam. That is so gay, it is beyond words.
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    What's the yellow stuff all over Sam's face? Piss from him drinking the golden shower his gay lover was giving him?

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    This is sad...

    Neckbrace, mullet and stupid motherfucker...



    No wonder Ed started drinking again...


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  12. #1731
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    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post
    This is sad...

    Neckbrace, mullet and stupid motherfucker...

    No wonder Ed started drinking again...



    Ugh. I watched the whole thing. When Sammy licked his fingers in the camera I almost puked a little in my mouth.

    And this is Poundcake, not Amsterdam. I used to kinda like that song. Haven't heard it in a long time and oh man....it has not held up to time well.


    Only time will tell if Sammys music stands the test of time.........and time has reached it's answer. NO

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  14. #1732
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    ugh. I watched the whole thing. When sammy licked his fingers in the camera i almost puked a little in my mouth.

    And this is poundcake, not amsterdam. I used to kinda like that song. Haven't heard it in a long time and oh man....it has not held up to time well.


    only time will tell if sammys music stands the test of time.........and time has reached it's answer. No
    lol ^^^
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    Ugh. I watched the whole thing.
    You have stronger constitution than me. I lasted until Hagar slaps his own ass about a minute in... I can't believe anyone takes this guy seriously.

    I was kinda liking Ed's tone too - interested enough to check it out, but I can't watch that shit.
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  16. #1734
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    When I first heard Poundcake I thought......that's pretty good. Maybe the new album will rock hard after all. It turned out to be the most generic, bland and uninspired hard rock album I had ever heard from a famous band. An album of clunkers, and in time, even its best song by far, Poundcake, started to sound a little 'tired' and I stopped listening to it as well. It wasn't just Hagar's awful lyrics, Eddie had no connection in the studio with this guy at all and he served up some really forgettable stuff.

    They were so 'done' by the time the stupidly named F.U.C.K. was released. In Australia, by the early 90s they had become the 'incredible disappearing band'. Unlike other famous hard rock bands who were still releasing albums at that time, Van Hagar had lost the kids. Only diehards, guitar heads and old Hagar fans were hanging on. They had become dull - on and off stage - despite bass player's lame attempt to claim they went to another level......lol.
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  17. #1735
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    Compare the above Van Hagar video with the footage of the brutal band that just destroyed Montreal......no wonder so many people across the various sites, who grew up on Van Hagar, are saying they just witnessed the best Van Halen show they've ever seen. No kidding.

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  19. #1736
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    Sammy sounds and moves like George Michael knocked of bowling pin up his ass with a sledge hammer.
    http://www.ebay.com/itm/SAMMY-HAGAR-...#ht_1133wt_698

    Not sure what is worse here. The fact that this picture is listed under vintage Van Halen, or that Spam is selling his high school graduation pictures (Senior Year Baaaaayyyyybayyyyy)! Class of 54 rules dude!

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    Quote Originally Posted by NIN1211 View Post
    http://www.ebay.com/itm/SAMMY-HAGAR-...#ht_1133wt_698

    Not sure what is worse here. The fact that this picture is listed under vintage Van Halen, or that Spam is selling his high school graduation pictures (Senior Year Baaaaayyyyybayyyyy)! Class of 54 rules dude!
    He looks like one of Dave's sheep dogs in that pic.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post
    This is sad...

    Neckbrace, mullet and stupid motherfucker...




    No wonder Ed started drinking again...
    I now remember why I left this show early! I remember when Ed started Panama...closed my eyes for a sec and it almost sounded like VH..then I opened my eyes and had the harsh reminder that I was in Spamolot.....easy exit from the Palace of Auburn Hills that night!

  22. #1739
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halen High View Post
    They had become dull - on and off stage - despite bass player's lame attempt to claim they went to another level......lol.

    Yeah. They ran out of gas about 1/3 of the way through OU812 musically. I remember the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame video where Eddie says "When Sammy joined the band it just went BADOOOSH!"....yeah Ed, that's the sound of the shit plopping into the toilet water.

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    No other way to put it.....that video is just soooooo dull.......their just another run of the mill band at that point. Van Halen after being completely neutered and spayed.

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    I still can't believe Mike's Billy Ray Cyrus mullet. I never realized it had gotten that absurd. The only redeeming quality to this video is Ed's tone and the solo ain't bad. Such a shame it can't be enjoyed or appreciated without all of the other horrific trappings.
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  26. #1742
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halen High View Post
    When I first heard Poundcake I thought......that's pretty good. Maybe the new album will rock hard after all. It turned out to be the most generic, bland and uninspired hard rock album I had ever heard from a famous band. An album of clunkers, and in time, even its best song by far, Poundcake, started to sound a little 'tired' and I stopped listening to it as well. It wasn't just Hagar's awful lyrics, Eddie had no connection in the studio with this guy at all and he served up some really forgettable stuff.

    They were so 'done' by the time the stupidly named F.U.C.K. was released. In Australia, by the early 90s they had become the 'incredible disappearing band'. Unlike other famous hard rock bands who were still releasing albums at that time, Van Hagar had lost the kids. Only diehards, guitar heads and old Hagar fans were hanging on. They had become dull - on and off stage - despite bass player's lame attempt to claim they went to another level......lol.
    Yes, "stupidly named F.U.C.K.". I know it's the 'intellectual' reference to the origin of the word, blah, blah, but to me it just shows the banality of what they represented at the time. That, along with songs like Poundcake, Amsterdam, Up for Breakfast, etc, also belied the trailer trash mentality of Sam and his inability to write sexual innuendo into songs beyond a junior high school level. Not to mention the shit all started sounding the same to me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    "When Sammy joined the band it just went BADOOOSH!"....
    He got the "douche" part right....he just spelled it differently.
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    I CUNT believe that some of you fuckers went to see this fakkked up version of ................send them to the PEN

    Repent you fuckin sinners....REPENT!!~!!!!!!:
    :
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  30. #1745
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    Quote Originally Posted by BenJammin View Post
    Yes, "stupidly named F.U.C.K.". I know it's the 'intellectual' reference to the origin of the word, blah, blah, but to me it just shows the banality of what they represented at the time. That, along with songs like Poundcake, Amsterdam, Up for Breakfast, etc, also belied the trailer trash mentality of Sam and his inability to write sexual innuendo into songs beyond a junior high school level. Not to mention the shit all started sounding the same to me.
    Reaching junior high level innuendo was the pinnacle of Hagar's career and creative output... at his age it's also repulsive as hell...
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZahZoo View Post
    Reaching junior high level innuendo was the pinnacle of Hagar's career and creative output... at his age it's also repulsive as hell...
    Which perfectly explains why ADKOT and it's mature lyrical themes outclass anything the Red Rectum has ever offered up, in the past or even currently. It's like watching someone, hell anyone in their 60s dress like a teenager and adapt the vernacular of today's youth in a desperate move to still remain young. In other words, puke-inducingly shameful, and equally oblivious.
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    Quote Originally Posted by DLR Bridge View Post
    I still can't believe Mike's Billy Ray Cyrus mullet. I never realized it had gotten that absurd.
    Totally - that thing is a sight to behold. Like a horrific car crash on the freeway. You just can't look away...
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    Ugh. I watched the whole thing. When Sammy licked his fingers in the camera I almost puked a little in my mouth.

    And this is Poundcake, not Amsterdam. I used to kinda like that song. Haven't heard it in a long time and oh man....it has not held up to time well.


    Only time will tell if Sammys music stands the test of time.........and time has reached it's answer. NO
    This actually sounds like Mozart compared to the rest of Spam's food = sex lyrics.
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    Quote Originally Posted by BenJammin View Post
    Yes, "stupidly named F.U.C.K.". I know it's the 'intellectual' reference to the origin of the word, blah, blah, but to me it just shows the banality of what they represented at the time. That, along with songs like Poundcake, Amsterdam, Up for Breakfast, etc, also belied the trailer trash mentality of Sam and his inability to write sexual innuendo into songs beyond a junior high school level. Not to mention the shit all started sounding the same to me.
    In Australia, we call people like Sammy Hagar - 'a try hard'. He's one of those people who really does try hard to be cool, creative, controversial or funny - but he never really pulls it off. I think he knows he's limited compared to Eddie and Dave - hence the extreme level of insecurity.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DLR Bridge View Post
    It's amazing how classy Gary is. Never was a big fan of his voice or his style, but that aside, he is very complimentary and respectful of Van Halen. I love that he prattled of the names of the face-rippin' songs on Truth like he gave it, or has been giving it a serious listen. Just the way jerk-off tries to be blase about not listenting to it because he's too into the Black Keys or Kings of Leon (yeah, OK) is a joke. Hey Sammy, Gary said the king took back his throne. How do you like them apples?
    I couldn't have said it better. Gary seems like a nice guy. Sam talks about how he loved Van Halen music and the way they presented themselves on the albums and in the next sentence he slams them. I used to be somewhat of a fan of his music but the last ten years he has show how he just used the Van Halen name to keep his career going. Kind of sad. I mean Dave did leave the band but...... There were alot of bad choices made by people in 1985. Fuck if Sam hasn't heard the new album !!
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    I can't wait for this thread to get to 55 pages. And it will... I love his red grunts. They stand by their man, Sammy. Hahahaha. Love the spelling and grammar!

    Gerald Criece(CF Facebook) Tatoo is like jump, they both sucked and were so Commercial they made me sick ! , that was when they where losing there edge and running out of matterial , Sammy never has ever ! so lets see what the future brings , only time will tell !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
    Tuesday at 4:12pm Like
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    Post #1 of a 41+ page thread of great fun. Everyone should go back to page 1 and thank Bob_R for this awesomely entertaining thread.

    Oh come the fuck on already! 1 of the most epically funny threads we have had around here. Go back to post #1 and give Bob R some love for creating it. I can't do everything around here. Sheesh.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Halen High View Post
    In Australia, we call people like Sammy Hagar - 'a try hard'. He's one of those people who really does try hard to be cool, creative, controversial or funny - but he never really pulls it off. I think he knows he's limited compared to Eddie and Dave - hence the extreme level of insecurity.
    We just call em "Jackasses" here... or if the kids are in ear shot... Loser is appropriate.

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    Quote Originally Posted by guwapo_rocker View Post
    Just watching a few minutes of the RUSH Time Machine concert on VH1 before we go out for the evening.
    I have to say this regarding Spam claiming chickenshit has raised the bar as far as 4 piece bands go.
    I will take his 4 piece and raise it with this 3 piece anytime!!!

    You haven't raised the bar Spam, you couldn't even pick the fucking bar up!
    just keep remembering this quote by guwapo for some reason.

    Rush kicks fucking ass. Rush would own Hagar if the two preformed on the same bill.

    It's a fucking crime that they're not in the Rock N'Roll Hall of Fame. Considering the fact that the city that got the HOF pretty much were Rush's biggest supporters!
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    Funny blog

    From http://www.insidesocal.com/davidallen/2011/08/

    "I read your article on Sammy Hagar's book and his Fontana years. He apparently spent some time at Alta Loma High School too. Attached is his senior picture which appears in the 1966 Sisunga (yearbook)," Vath writes.

    That picture appears at right.

    "We've had some debates about this subject in our Alta Cucawanda Facebook group," Vath continues. "Some of the people who grew up in Etiwanda say they remember him. Others say it isn't true because they researched online and couldn't find any information about it. I believe he spent some time at Alta Loma High School even if he was just there on picture day. Please take a look at the picture. It sure looks like him even if the hairdo is very different. We have the book to prove it!"

    Looks like Sammy Hagar to me, Sheree. His memoir, "Red," doesn't name any of the schools he went to, although he talks about wanting to get out of Fontana after high school and he's known to be a Fontana High alumnus.

    Hagar writes that his mom married again when he was growing up and that her new husband was a man from Cucamonga who was a chef at "Chafee" College. (They met at a polka dance.) So it makes sense that Hagar would attend Alta Loma High, even if only briefly.

    At lunch Monday at Nancy's Cafe in Rancho Cucamonga I ran into a regular, Darlene Scalf, who saw me reading Hagar's memoir and said: "I went to high school with that guy." In Fontana, she confirmed. She added: "A friend of mine dated him. She had to break it off. Her parents said, 'He'll never amount to anything.' "
    Attached Images Attached Images

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unchainme View Post
    just keep remembering this quote by guwapo for some reason.

    Rush kicks fucking ass. Rush would own Hagar if the two preformed on the same bill.

    It's a fucking crime that they're not in the Rock N'Roll Hall of Fame. Considering the fact that the city that got the HOF pretty much were Rush's biggest supporters!
    Fuck Spam Hagar!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Yount View Post
    From http://www.insidesocal.com/davidallen/2011/08/She added: "A friend of mine dated him. She had to break it off. Her parents said, 'He'll never amount to anything.' "
    She had very insightful parents.
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    or


    one of these fruitcakes actually has talent...
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    Quote Originally Posted by guwapo_rocker View Post
    Fuck Spam Hagar!!

    You are such a child:



    This shit is cracking me up like fucking no way: Again...DLR and Van Halen pioneered having fun in a rock band.
    Last edited by SunisinuS; 03-24-2012 at 05:58 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halen High View Post
    Compare the above Van Hagar video with the footage of the brutal band that just destroyed Montreal......no wonder so many people across the various sites, who grew up on Van Hagar, are saying they just witnessed the best Van Halen show they've ever seen. No kidding.
    No doubt I actually feel sorry for the peeps that never had the chance to see real Van Halen and where stuck seeing Van Gaygar posing as Van Halen

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