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Thread: "The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

  1. #761
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    The Ched Chunder from '06...
    http://www.melodicrock.com/interviews/sammyhagar.html

    Notice Ched is so gracious that he feels he should instigate the Van Halen talk, and of course it's a bitchy swipe:
    "That was the hard thing about the Van Halen tour. We were not able as a band to ad-lib and change it up too much because in order to play a Van Halen thing you have to rehearse for a month per song. So we had to do the same show every night, you know. I'm telling you, after 40 shows I wanted to commit suicide and we did 80!"
    Damn! Too lazy to work on his songs and too lazy to even kill himself.

    The interviewer is a Sammy Yes Man.
    MR: And your shows seem to becoming more of a party each and every year.
    SH: Yeah they do. It's the reason…it gives me a reason to do it. Otherwise I would be saying this isn't fun anymore.

    We all need booze to enjoy your show too. I on the other hand need only a ticket to another show. I'm easily pleased. Pass on the tequila.

    "For me it's half the amount of titties I see by the first…if I haven't seen a nice pair of tits by the first four songs, I go 'this ain't working, I gotta kick it up a bit.'
    Stretch out the neck of your t-shirt and look down.

    Starts again on Van Halen. (negative)
    "I wanted to shed the Van Halen thing and I was kinda of like a person who was trying to rebel against his parents at the time."
    Here's what happened. Sammy threw a tantrum in '96 after Ed & Al told him he was a shit lyricist, by retreating into a band he controlled (aka his room aka obscurity) to write further shit lyrics.

    "The reason I bring up the tequila thing – it gives me a double reason to come over (to Australia.) The distributor is going to want me to come over and promote the tequila and I'm going to want to come over and promote what I do. It all works the same."
    All about the $$$$ for $cammy

    "You know, something could happen in my life – like I could go see a band – a wild example could be some extreme far-out free jazz form band and that would blow my mind and completely set me on a new track.
    I'm open like that…I'm one of those people that loves music and loves style and all that stuff. So anything could happen, but right now I'm just kickin' around the beach."

    You have ONE style... mediocre.

    "No this record I think is my best song-for-song songwriting I think. Some of my most honest."
    Honestly Sam, you should let somebody else say those words. (Then again who would? Oh... probably Mike)

    "It's not any fun to be around Eddie..."
    This is very revealing. I agree with most of what he says here, but I do think Eddie's craziness comes from a curse Roth left. Ed trying to better that legacy, never getting close and becoming frustrated by that with Sammy in the fold.

    MR: And you went from 4 weeks on that record (5150) to nearly a year on Carnal Knowledge.
    SH: Yeah. That was kind of intentional.

    Live shows just weren't paying as well in 1991. And the next album came in 1995 so I figure they were making a big cash grab so they could do fuck all and live it up for half a decade.

    "when I took Dave on tour with me – the Sam & Dave tour."
    So gracious of Dave to let Sam have his name first don't you think? Give him a little ego boost, sardonic motherfucker!

    On Dave:"C'mon man, he needs to get over the fact he's not in Van Halen anymore."
    Oh the irony!

    "Journey is a great commercial band."
    Don't stop believing Sam

    "4 old guys…there's nothing worse than 4 old guys! One's ok, but 4!!!"
    Spooky.

    "...he's one of the greatest bass players on the planet"
    Billy Sheehan? Geddy Lee? Michael Anthony!

    Over 50% of the interview about VH now:
    "I would be the first guy there saying 'Hey, this is a great band, I want to be part of this.' And I do want to be part of this, but not when you can't."
    Is that like standing the test of time if only time will tell?
    Last edited by Yount; 02-01-2012 at 08:37 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hardrock69 View Post
    And yes.....he is like one of those inflatable Bozo The Klown punchover dolls....fun to rag on, keeps opening his yap for more abuse.....masochist, perhaps?
    Has anyone played Day Of The Tentacle?!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Yount View Post
    The Ched Chunder from '06...
    http://www.melodicrock.com/interviews/sammyhagar.html

    Notice Ched is so gracious that he feels he should instigate the Van Halen talk, and of course it's a bitchy swipe:
    "That was the hard thing about the Van Halen tour. We were not able as a band to ad-lib and change it up too much because in order to play a Van Halen thing you have to rehearse for a month per song. So we had to do the same show every night, you know. I'm telling you, after 40 shows I wanted to commit suicide and we did 80!"
    Damn! Too lazy to work on his songs and too lazy to even kill himself.

    The interviewer is a Sammy Yes Man.
    MR: And your shows seem to becoming more of a party each and every year.
    SH: Yeah they do. It's the reason…it gives me a reason to do it. Otherwise I would be saying this isn't fun anymore.

    We all need booze to enjoy your show too. I on the other hand need only a ticket to another show. I'm easily pleased. Pass on the tequila.

    "For me it's half the amount of titties I see by the first…if I haven't seen a nice pair of tits by the first four songs, I go 'this ain't working, I gotta kick it up a bit.'
    Stretch out the neck of your t-shirt and look down.

    Starts again on Van Halen. (negative)
    "I wanted to shed the Van Halen thing and I was kinda of like a person who was trying to rebel against his parents at the time."
    Here's what happened. Sammy threw a tantrum in '96 after Ed & Al told him he was a shit lyricist, by retreating into a band he controlled (aka his room aka obscurity) to write further shit lyrics.

    "The reason I bring up the tequila thing – it gives me a double reason to come over (to Australia.) The distributor is going to want me to come over and promote the tequila and I'm going to want to come over and promote what I do. It all works the same."
    All about the $$$$ for $cammy

    "You know, something could happen in my life – like I could go see a band – a wild example could be some extreme far-out free jazz form band and that would blow my mind and completely set me on a new track.
    I'm open like that…I'm one of those people that loves music and loves style and all that stuff. So anything could happen, but right now I'm just kickin' around the beach."

    You have ONE style... mediocre.

    "No this record I think is my best song-for-song songwriting I think. Some of my most honest."
    Honestly Sam, you should let somebody else say those words. (Then again who would? Oh... probably Mike)

    "It's not any fun to be around Eddie..."
    This is very revealing. I agree with most of what he says here, but I do think Eddie's craziness comes from a curse Roth left. Ed trying to better that legacy, never getting close and becoming frustrated by that with Sammy in the fold.

    MR: And you went from 4 weeks on that record (5150) to nearly a year on Carnal Knowledge.
    SH: Yeah. That was kind of intentional.

    Live shows just weren't paying as well in 1991. And the next album came in 1995 so I figure they were making a big cash grab so they could do fuck all and live it up for half a decade.

    "when I took Dave on tour with me – the Sam & Dave tour."
    So gracious of Dave to let Sam have his name first don't you think? Give him a little ego boost, sardonic motherfucker!

    On Dave:"C'mon man, he needs to get over the fact he's not in Van Halen anymore."
    Oh the irony!

    "Journey is a great commercial band."
    Don't stop believing Sam

    "4 old guys…there's nothing worse than 4 old guys! One's ok, but 4!!!"
    Spooky.

    "...he's one of the greatest bass players on the planet"
    Billy Sheehan? Geddy Lee? Michael Anthony!

    Over 50% of the interview about VH now:
    "I would be the first guy there saying 'Hey, this is a great band, I want to be part of this.' And I do want to be part of this, but not when you can't."
    Is that like standing the test of time if only time will tell?
    Spam has a "different kind of truth"
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  5. #764
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  7. #765
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    I'm waiting for that National Enquirer headline "Sammy abducted by aliens, while sitting on Big Foot's shoulders, trying to spy on studio 5150...the only thing found at the scene was a chicken foot"
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    You guys fucking kill me!


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  9. #767
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    Quote Originally Posted by guwapo_rocker View Post
    Bravo, soldiers, bravo.

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  11. #768
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yount View Post
    Has anyone played Day Of The Testicle?!!!
    Another new Hagar song..?
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    ol sammy hes gonna have a coronary when he hears ADKOT

  13. #770
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    Quote Originally Posted by guwapo_rocker View Post
    [IMG][/IMG]
    You should have clicked on the comments. I've trolled a bit there as well. Just to get my fix ya know.

    I hope this isn't a repeat, but my favourite quote: "No wonder Sammy sings about cars. I've seen his wife!!"

  14. #771
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    Interesting answer from the guy who co-wrote Sammy's Red: Uncensored book

    Matt Wardlaw: Watching the electronic press kit for this book, Sammy shares the great story of how you wrote a bad review for the opening night of a four night stand at home for Van Halen on his debut tour with the group for 5150. His response to your review was to give out your home phone number on stage the next three nights. What was it about Van Hagar that rubbed you the wrong way at that time?
    Joel Selvin: Well, I haven't recollected my review, I should probably go back and take a look. But, I seem to remember that my basic viewpoint on it was that this had screwed up two perfectly decent bands. That I didn't see Van Halen without Roth and I didn't see Sammy in Van Halen. You know, all these years later, I'm not sure what I saw or how much I went in with preconceived notions about who should be where and what should be what.
    I do remember that the David Lee Roth-led Van Halen was one of the most extraordinary entrances to the rock scene in many years. The first gig I remember, they were on at like 10 in the morning at one of those day long baseball park concerts and I was up getting some sun and went, "What's that?" [Laughs]

    But I remember an Oakland Auditorium show where the audience, which was all like 15-to-17-year-old guys, was walking down the street afterwards fist pumping. And I remember one show at the Cow Palace where you know, they were just a great band. So, Sammy's entrance was really not well received on any level outside of the band itself. They loved Sammy. Sammy was something entirely different.

    Everybody loves Dave!

    More here: http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/rft...g_st_louis.php

    Page 2 is a hoot, about everyone paying out on satin-pants-Sammy for being uncool.
    Last edited by Yount; 02-01-2012 at 09:57 PM.

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    “like Cream, without the jazz, with funk mixed in.”

    Sammy describes Chickenfoot. He's gotta fix those speakers.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Yount View Post
    “like Cream, without the jazz, with funk mixed in.
    More like scream, with extra jizz, with what the fuck mixed in.
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    You just shouldn't say that kind of stuff. Tip your hat to the greats but don't compare yourself. He's been in the biz over 30 years and he still hasn't learned that when you say 5150 is better than Revolver you're just going to come off insecure and totally delusional. Except to his blind followers.

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    I know that even if this record does huge #'s it still won't sway Hagar. Different Kind of Truth sounds great and it will be a record that will stay in players not like Chickenfoot III which got thrown back in the case after a couple of listens. The combination of Sam's lyrics and screeching makes me tune out.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZahZoo View Post
    Has anyone played Day Of The Testicle?!!!

    Another new Hagar song..?
    He wouldn't come right out and say testicle, c'mon man that's not cool. He'd say something like:

    "Gonna dip my McNugget in your hot mustard.......Yeah!"

    Or:

    "You'll see my Pop Tarts poppin'........All right!"

    Maybe:

    "I got my meat balls in you angel hair.......Uh huh!"

    Possibly:

    "In between the sheets with my pizza roll, Huh, looking for your Hot Pocket, C'mon baaaaby!"

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    Such a waste by mankind when they have the one person who can finally answer life's most daunting questions concerning chickens, such as, "What came first, the chicken or the egg?" and the ever important "Why did the chicken cross the road?". No, instead they ask Sammy about music and Van Halen...two things he knows absolutely nothing about!

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    Sammy Hagar talking shit about the band Van Halen struck me in a different way this evening. This is the band name he is in the Hall Of fame under. The last thing he should do is try to bring them down & tear them up at every chance. He even attacked Alex by saying Chad is better. He has left no VH stone unturned to degrade it. Dude...this is the band name you are in the fucking hall of fame under. Stop talking shit!

    You don't win by knocking people down to below you. You win by exceeding & surpassing them. You win on your own achievements, not knocking the other guys down.

    A lot of these fans of the real VH are the same fans that helped line your pockets as well. Stop knocking the music and band they love.

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    "I don't think Van Halen can just replace me with anybody man." - Hagar
    Last edited by Yount; 02-02-2012 at 08:33 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    You win on your own achievements, not knocking the other guys down.
    Hagar always thought he was a prizefighter. Dave a martial artist. As far as credibility in the eyes of truth, poor ignoramus Sammy fights for it while Dave just oozes cred and is one of the greatest artists of our time. History will be kind to him my friends.
    Sadaist - THAT was magnificent!
    Last edited by Yount; 02-02-2012 at 08:42 AM.

  31. #782
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    You don't win by knocking people down to below you. You win by exceeding & surpassing them. You win on your own achievements, not knocking the other guys down.
    if that's the case, Hagarelli would have gotten into the RRHOF for his solo stuff, and not on Ed's coattails.

    said it before and i'll say it again...Sam ain't getting an RRHOF induction on his own. no fucking way. any dipshit who thinks Sam has a chance has been drinking too much of the red Kool-Aid.
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    Quote Originally Posted by twonabomber View Post
    if that's the case, Hagarelli would have gotten into the RRHOF for his solo stuff, and not on Ed's coattails.

    said it before and i'll say it again...Sam ain't getting an RRHOF induction on his own. no fucking way. any dipshit who thinks Sam has a chance has been drinking too much of the red Kool-Aid.
    If ever he does that will tell alot about the credibility of RRHOF...
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    don't worry about that, many believe the RRHOF has no credibility anyways.

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    the difference between a prize fighter and a martial arts guy is one does it in a controlled environment and the other does it for real in life and death situations where any space is game on...Dave is a jungle stud, Sammy is an apartment pug

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  36. #786
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    The Rock 'N Roll Hall of Fame has decided to erase any evidence of Sammy Hagar from its museum and website. Terry Stewart, president of the Hall since 1999, made his decision after listening to the new Van Halen album A Different Kind of Truth. "We made the mistake of inducting Sammy Hagar in 2008 because it had been so long since we've heard a decent rock 'n roll album. Our hearing has finally been restored after listening to the new Van Halen album. We beg forgiveness from all rock 'n roll fans and may God have mercy on Hagar's soul."
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  38. #787
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    I'm loving the Van Hagar fans around the way. They're trying to put up the good fight and keep their little flame alive and just's going down the drain for that era. This album is fucking monster and it's killing them
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  40. #788
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    I love this site.....LOL....You fuckers are hilarious.....Spammy Gagar...lololol
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  41. #789
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yount View Post
    "I don't think Van Halen can just replace me with anybody man." - Hagar

    Dude, Sam...YOU were the replacement for Christs sake! Don't you understand this simple concept?

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  43. #790
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    Who is this sammy hagar guy?

    was he the guy who opened for dave a few years back? .
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  44. #791
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unchainme View Post
    Who is this sammy hagar guy?

    was he the guy who opened for dave a few years back? .
    Yes, and he suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.
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  45. #792
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unchainme View Post
    Who is this sammy hagar guy?

    was he the guy who opened for dave a few years back? .
    No, he played during the Diamond David Lee Roth intermission! Now Dave's back to close the show!

  46. #793
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    Sammy, I am an English teacher. I have freshmen that can write more meaningful lyrics than this. Please go solo and play only your 80's songs. Freshly posted on The Chickenfoot site boys...you all inspired me!

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  48. #794
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    Damn...it's addicting. You post some "truth" on Fowlfoot's site and some sissy says knock it off....I have a new hobby until the 7th....

  49. #795
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  50. #796
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  51. #797
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    Please caption the photo....you guys will kill it.

  52. #798
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    "It took 4 doctors, but they finally got it out of my ass. It's all fun and games 'till someone's left gaping Mikey."

  53. #799
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    [QUOTE=guwapo_rocker;1607560]

    "My number 1 chickenshit fan"
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  54. #800
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    He's gonna flip when he hears this new album. Holy shit!!!!

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