"The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

[DLR Bridge]

I still can't believe Mike's Billy Ray Cyrus mullet. I never realized it had gotten that absurd. The only redeeming quality to this video is Ed's tone and the solo ain't bad. Such a shame it can't be enjoyed or appreciated without all of the other horrific trappings.

[BenJammin]

When I first heard Poundcake I thought......that's pretty good. Maybe the new album will rock hard after all. It turned out to be the most generic, bland and uninspired hard rock album I had ever heard from a famous band. An album of clunkers, and in time, even its best song by far, Poundcake, started to sound a little 'tired' and I stopped listening to it as well. It wasn't just Hagar's awful lyrics, Eddie had no connection in the studio with this guy at all and he served up some really forgettable stuff.

They were so 'done' by the time the stupidly named F.U.C.K. was released. In Australia, by the early 90s they had become the 'incredible disappearing band'. Unlike other famous hard rock bands who were still releasing albums at that time, Van Hagar had lost the kids. Only diehards, guitar heads and old Hagar fans were hanging on. They had become dull - on and off stage - despite bass player's lame attempt to claim they went to another level......lol.

Yes, "stupidly named F.U.C.K.". I know it's the 'intellectual' reference to the origin of the word, blah, blah, but to me it just shows the banality of what they represented at the time. That, along with songs like Poundcake, Amsterdam, Up for Breakfast, etc, also belied the trailer trash mentality of Sam and his inability to write sexual innuendo into songs beyond a junior high school level. Not to mention the shit all started sounding the same to me.

[fryingdutchman]

"When Sammy joined the band it just went BADOOOSH!"....

He got the "douche" part right....he just spelled it differently.

[moose]

I CUNT believe that some of you fuckers went to see this fakkked up version of ................send them to the PEN

Repent you fuckin sinners....REPENT!!~!!!!!!:
:

[ZahZoo]

Yes, "stupidly named F.U.C.K.". I know it's the 'intellectual' reference to the origin of the word, blah, blah, but to me it just shows the banality of what they represented at the time. That, along with songs like Poundcake, Amsterdam, Up for Breakfast, etc, also belied the trailer trash mentality of Sam and his inability to write sexual innuendo into songs beyond a junior high school level. Not to mention the shit all started sounding the same to me.

Reaching junior high level innuendo was the pinnacle of Hagar's career and creative output... at his age it's also repulsive as hell...

[chefcraig]

Reaching junior high level innuendo was the pinnacle of Hagar's career and creative output... at his age it's also repulsive as hell...

Which perfectly explains why ADKOT and it's mature lyrical themes outclass anything the Red Rectum has ever offered up, in the past or even currently. It's like watching someone, hell anyone in their 60s dress like a teenager and adapt the vernacular of today's youth in a desperate move to still remain young. In other words, puke-inducingly shameful, and equally oblivious.

[Zing!]

I still can't believe Mike's Billy Ray Cyrus mullet. I never realized it had gotten that absurd.

Totally - that thing is a sight to behold. Like a horrific car crash on the freeway. You just can't look away...

[DlocRoth]

Ugh. I watched the whole thing. When Sammy licked his fingers in the camera I almost puked a little in my mouth.

And this is Poundcake, not Amsterdam. I used to kinda like that song. Haven't heard it in a long time and oh man....it has not held up to time well.


Only time will tell if Sammys music stands the test of time.........and time has reached it's answer. NO

This actually sounds like Mozart compared to the rest of Spam's food = sex lyrics.

[Halen High]

Yes, "stupidly named F.U.C.K.". I know it's the 'intellectual' reference to the origin of the word, blah, blah, but to me it just shows the banality of what they represented at the time. That, along with songs like Poundcake, Amsterdam, Up for Breakfast, etc, also belied the trailer trash mentality of Sam and his inability to write sexual innuendo into songs beyond a junior high school level. Not to mention the shit all started sounding the same to me.

In Australia, we call people like Sammy Hagar - 'a try hard'. He's one of those people who really does try hard to be cool, creative, controversial or funny - but he never really pulls it off. I think he knows he's limited compared to Eddie and Dave - hence the extreme level of insecurity.

[78/84 guy]

It's amazing how classy Gary is. Never was a big fan of his voice or his style, but that aside, he is very complimentary and respectful of Van Halen. I love that he prattled of the names of the face-rippin' songs on Truth like he gave it, or has been giving it a serious listen. Just the way jerk-off tries to be blase about not listenting to it because he's too into the Black Keys or Kings of Leon (yeah, OK) is a joke. Hey Sammy, Gary said the king took back his throne. How do you like them apples?

I couldn't have said it better. Gary seems like a nice guy. Sam talks about how he loved Van Halen music and the way they presented themselves on the albums and in the next sentence he slams them. I used to be somewhat of a fan of his music but the last ten years he has show how he just used the Van Halen name to keep his career going. Kind of sad. I mean Dave did leave the band but...... There were alot of bad choices made by people in 1985. Fuck if Sam hasn't heard the new album !!

[Yount]

I can't wait for this thread to get to 55 pages. And it will... I love his red grunts. They stand by their man, Sammy. Hahahaha. Love the spelling and grammar!

Gerald Criece(CF Facebook) Tatoo is like jump, they both sucked and were so Commercial they made me sick ! , that was when they where losing there edge and running out of matterial , Sammy never has ever ! so lets see what the future brings , only time will tell !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Tuesday at 4:12pm · Like

[sadaist]

Post #1 of a 41+ page thread of great fun. Everyone should go back to page 1 and thank Bob_R for this awesomely entertaining thread.

Oh come the fuck on already! 1 of the most epically funny threads we have had around here. Go back to post #1 and give Bob R some love for creating it. I can't do everything around here. Sheesh.

[ZahZoo]

In Australia, we call people like Sammy Hagar - 'a try hard'. He's one of those people who really does try hard to be cool, creative, controversial or funny - but he never really pulls it off. I think he knows he's limited compared to Eddie and Dave - hence the extreme level of insecurity.

We just call em "Jackasses" here... or if the kids are in ear shot... Loser is appropriate.

[Unchainme]

Just watching a few minutes of the RUSH Time Machine concert on VH1 before we go out for the evening.
I have to say this regarding Spam claiming chickenshit has raised the bar as far as 4 piece bands go.
I will take his 4 piece and raise it with this 3 piece anytime!!!

You haven't raised the bar Spam, you couldn't even pick the fucking bar up!

just keep remembering this quote by guwapo for some reason.

Rush kicks fucking ass. Rush would own Hagar if the two preformed on the same bill.

It's a fucking crime that they're not in the Rock N'Roll Hall of Fame. Considering the fact that the city that got the HOF pretty much were Rush's biggest supporters!

[Yount]

Funny blog

From http://www.insidesocal.com/davidallen/2011/08/

"I read your article on Sammy Hagar's book and his Fontana years. He apparently spent some time at Alta Loma High School too. Attached is his senior picture which appears in the 1966 Sisunga (yearbook)," Vath writes.

That picture appears at right.

"We've had some debates about this subject in our Alta Cucawanda Facebook group," Vath continues. "Some of the people who grew up in Etiwanda say they remember him. Others say it isn't true because they researched online and couldn't find any information about it. I believe he spent some time at Alta Loma High School even if he was just there on picture day. Please take a look at the picture. It sure looks like him even if the hairdo is very different. We have the book to prove it!"

Looks like Sammy Hagar to me, Sheree. His memoir, "Red," doesn't name any of the schools he went to, although he talks about wanting to get out of Fontana after high school and he's known to be a Fontana High alumnus.

Hagar writes that his mom married again when he was growing up and that her new husband was a man from Cucamonga who was a chef at "Chafee" College. (They met at a polka dance.) So it makes sense that Hagar would attend Alta Loma High, even if only briefly.

At lunch Monday at Nancy's Cafe in Rancho Cucamonga I ran into a regular, Darlene Scalf, who saw me reading Hagar's memoir and said: "I went to high school with that guy." In Fontana, she confirmed. She added: "A friend of mine dated him. She had to break it off. Her parents said, 'He'll never amount to anything.' "