"The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

[Nickdfresh]

Dude... seriously you couldn't find something better to think about..?

Might want to question your sanity if this happens frequently...

I was thinking it an inevitable outgrowth of the Sammy empire. It doesn't happen frequently, like your senior moments do...

[marty d.]

ched chunker mother fucker

Wassup everybody , I have not posted in awhile. But after hearing some people at my shop talk about
super chunker diss Eddie. I drank a couple of crowns, remembered this as my favorite crack up thread.I just wanted to say Sammy... you fucking ugly spiteful piece of shit sorry talk shit motherfuckin asshole,backstabbin blowjob ched chunkin, salty salt, shitty lyric writin mofo. dont ever talk shit about Eddie and Dave again! this is the DLR army bitch. We dont put up with that shit. P.s. Envy me, nice damm
pics girl. whoooo

[Yount]

Knock 'em down marty d !!

[katina]

The Red Retard is on History Channel, on an episode of American Restoration entitled "Right Here, Rum Now "

http://www.hennemusic.com/2012/09/sammy-hagar-to-guest-on-american.html

In an episode entitled “Right Here, Rum Now,” Sammy hires Rick to restore a vintage refrigerator into a rum dispenser - something Hagar calls a "Rumerator."

The hookup between the two is a promotion for Sammy’s Beach Bar Rum, the latest addition to Hagar’s alcohol empire. Distilled on Maui by Mark Nigbur of Pau Vodka, the Red Rocker launched the drink in Hawaii last November and it was introduced Stateside in February.

The Hagar episode of American Restoration premieres Wednesday, September 26 at 9:30pm eastern / 8:30pm central.

This is unbelievable

[Nickdfresh]

I saw the Godawful commercial for that mutual reach-around and ass-feltching fest. God it looks bad...

[chefcraig]

I saw the Godawful commercial for that mutual reach-around and ass-feltching fest. God it looks bad...

Next up on the History Channel: The Red Flatulence shows up on Pawn Stars, attempting to sell off some alleged framed gold albums depicting his success as a rock star. The shop's owner Rick calls in an expert, who promptly points out the so-called awards are nothing more than some old records, hastily coated with gold Rust-Oleum spray paint and crammed into buy-one, get-one free WalMart picture frames. The Old Man sneers with disgust, then has Big Hoss and Chumley throw the tequila-swilling yahoo out into the parking lot on his ponderously huge ass, along with his rather dubious "achievements."

[Yount]

[Nickdfresh]

Sammy Hagar is a douche who has to substitute marketing with actual achievement and a career...

[Halen High]

How old is this guy? You would think by now that he would have grown up enough to stop the blatant bullshit – particularly to his own fans. Then again, they tend to be as delusional as he is and believe this nonsense. As if he would get a call from Eddie Van Halen about joining the biggest hard rock band on the planet in 1985... only to answer, “Nope. Not right now. I’ll come and see you next week.”
He based this attitude on being burned out from his VOA tour, “Playing multiple arenas in the whole country.” Well…a fan at the VHND who was involved in the tour business in the 80s, who is a fan of all eras of VH, loves Sammy as much as Dave, read these same claims in his book and accused him of grossly exaggerating the size of his tour. He said Sammy missed most cities on in the east due to lack of interest, only played single nights other than in 3 or 4 cities, and generally played in smaller venues than VH did.
Yet here he is, trying to spin the great delusional ‘Sammy Hagar narrative’, that he was so huge in ’84 that VH were lucky that he even bothered to answer the phone.
Notice how he was squirming and struggling to know what to do with his hands when the interviewer got him talking about his chapter on Eddie. Body language can be very revealing…

[Hardrock69]

[envy_me]

Since I am no huge fan of Eddie, I can understand what he is saying about Eddie being a jerk.
But he forgets that Eddie being a piece of shit is a condition for Sammy being in the band in the first place. He would never have gotten the opportunity if Ed was a smart, decent guy.

One thing that irritates me in this interview is Sammys nonchalant attitude. No matter how Eddie was as a person back then, VH were huge. It seems that Sammy was given a dream job and now act as if he was doing them a favour.
And at the end also implying that Eddie doesn't really wanna work with Dave, but since Sam is off the market or won't work with him until he cleans up, Ed is forced to work with Dave.

He acts like a bitter ex boyfriend, who you dumped but he says he's better off, while in reality he is begging you to get back together.

I am positive, no matter how wasted Ed is, if he'd just look in Sams direction the guy would leave everything to go back to VH again.

[philouze]

Gaygar is bitter indeed.
Because of VH but also because of Chickenshit's sloppy record & ticket sales. He thinks everyone owes him everything.

Here: (to the tune of Lonesome Cowboy Burt, by FZ)

My name is Hagar
I am a donkey
All my friends
They call me Sam (Hi Sam)
All my pet friends
From Cabo Wabo
Make their living
Eating my ass.

Came out here
In Van Halen
Just to shit on Diamond Dave
Once I do
I get so horny
That my cock is black and blue

Lonesome Cowboy Sam
Shitting atcha
Come drink the piss I sell
Mas Tequila
My crappy band,
Can't sell a damn,
And I can't tell,
If I could make it without Eddie Trunk
(Yodel-oh-oo-pee-hey)

[Dave's Bitch]

Since I am no huge fan of Eddie, I can understand what he is saying about Eddie being a jerk.
But he forgets that Eddie being a piece of shit is a condition for Sammy being in the band in the first place. He would never have gotten the opportunity if Ed was a smart, decent guy.

One thing that irritates me in this interview is Sammys nonchalant attitude. No matter how Eddie was as a person back then, VH were huge. It seems that Sammy was given a dream job and now act as if he was doing them a favour.
And at the end also implying that Eddie doesn't really wanna work with Dave, but since Sam is off the market or won't work with him until he cleans up, Ed is forced to work with Dave.

He acts like a bitter ex boyfriend, who you dumped but he says he's better off, while in reality he is begging you to get back together.

I am positive, no matter how wasted Ed is, if he'd just look in Sams direction the guy would leave everything to go back to VH again.

Exactly this.Great post envy

[envy_me]

Exactly this.Great post envy

:-) <3