"The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

[So this is love]

Never was a fan. The only song they ever did that I really loved and still love to this day is "Rest In Peace" from "III Sides...", it sounds great turned up really loud.

Are you sure its named Rest in Peace?? I have twelve songs loaded in my Bose from VHIII and none are namedRest in Peace??/

Ohhh you mean EXTREME...

[gbranton]

Ohhh you mean EXTREME...

Yep, from the album III Sides To Every Story.


Shit I just Googled it, Rest In Peace reached #1 on the Mainstream Rock chart. I thought I was the only one who liked it.

[Jetstream]

I was shocked how bad Cherone sounded on VHIII, he is like completely out of tune the whole LP but then Eddie was playing around with these John Cage like atonal chords. On Extreme's 'Pornograffiti' , he has one ballad where he takes out the other Sinatra wannabes like Harry Connick Jr. and pulls it off really well and songs like When I'm President gave me the illusion at least he could sing a track like Hot For Teacher live better than Hagar ever could. But like Hagar...it was an epic fail

[So this is love]

Yep, from the album III Sides To Every Story.


Shit I just Googled it, Rest In Peace reached #1 on the Mainstream Rock chart. I thought I was the only one who liked it.

Yeah I agree its a good song...I like him better with Extreme...

[DONNIEP]

I still just don't get how Eddie was convinced that Gary was THE best, final, one and only, hallelujah-it-doesn't-get-any-better-than-this singer for Dave's previous backing band. I mean, you can only use alcohol as an excuse for so long. Never once, even when I was fucked up out of my mind, did I say to myself - "you know what, Gary Cherone would be the perfect lead singer for Van Halen!"

[Panamark]

I still just don't get how Eddie was convinced that Gary was THE best, final, one and only, hallelujah-it-doesn't-get-any-better-than-this singer for Dave's previous backing band. I mean, you can only use alcohol as an excuse for so long. Never once, even when I was fucked up out of my mind, did I say to myself - "you know what, Gary Cherone would be the perfect lead singer for Van Halen!"

Good one !

[ThatArtGuy]

Don't forget Ray Daniels' input on the singer. Also, don't forget Ed's "the previous company was crap. THIS company makes the guitars I have always wanted."

[ELVIS]

WARNING: Repeated exposure to Hagar music and/or lyrics may result in the permanent inability to discern between good and bad music. A condition known as Totalfuckingstupidasscocksuckingitis. This condition is believed to be contracted through exposure to Van Hagar, Chickenfoot, or any so called music or literature even reomtely related to Sammy Hagar and is curable only by a Hagar free environment for a minimum of 6 years at which time some testing is required to determine if the Totalfuckingstupidasscocksuckingitis is permanent.

Symptoms of Totalfuckingstupidasscocksuckingitis include improper discussion of Sammy Hagar on Van Halen and David Lee Roth message boards. More Extreme cases of Totalfuckingstupidasscocksuckingitis may include appreciation and discussion of gary Cherone. These Extreme cases of Totalfuckingstupidasscocksuckingitis, also known as Extremetotalfuckingstupidasscocksuckingitis, are considered to be non-reversable and the only known treatment is blowing your fucking brains out.

[Hardrock69]

What is wrong, E? You LIKE Spamicus Blasphemus?

[Jetstream]

I'm just waiting for So This Is Love's avatar, GI Barbie, to be put in more action poses...you know, the poses she had to get in before she was able to claim that beach in the current view...and I know she lost the dress, but from this shot it is hard to tell if she kept the shoes

[BITEYOASS]

I still just don't get how Eddie was convinced that Gary was THE best, final, one and only, hallelujah-it-doesn't-get-any-better-than-this singer for Dave's previous backing band. I mean, you can only use alcohol as an excuse for so long. Never once, even when I was fucked up out of my mind, did I say to myself - "you know what, Gary Cherone would be the perfect lead singer for Van Halen!"

How you ask? Because his manager at the time Ray Daniels said he was. Of course it didn't help matters that Alex divorced his wife, who was the sister of his manager. Hence the payback.

[sadaist]

I was shocked how bad Cherone sounded on VHIII, he is like completely out of tune the whole LP but then Eddie was playing around with these John Cage like atonal chords. On Extreme's 'Pornograffiti' , he has one ballad where he takes out the other Sinatra wannabes like Harry Connick Jr. and pulls it off really well and songs like When I'm President gave me the illusion at least he could sing a track like Hot For Teacher live better than Hagar ever could. But like Hagar...it was an epic fail

Eddie & the band were on Rockline or something when the album dropped. I remember him saying this was the first album where he wrote the music to the lyrics Cherone had. Totally backwards from standard songwriting. I think that's a huge reason it sounds so fucking weird and bad.

[SNIPER]

I bought the special tin edition of VHIII the morning it came out. I was exited about it not being Sambo and I had high hopes. What was the point of those damn cards anyway? What a lame time and a strange album. I really tried to like it and I think I might have convinced myself for a bit that it even kicked ass. But it did not. I have not heard the whole album for over 10 years. There has been a few times on a road trip or something I put it on but I can't make it past "The One I want" I like some of the music but the vocals make it unlistenable to me.

[DLR Bridge]

I bought the special tin edition of VHIII the morning it came out. I was exited about it not being Sambo and I had high hopes. What was the point of those damn cards anyway?.... I really tried to like it and I think I might have convinced myself for a bit that it even kicked ass. But it did not

Same here. Such a bummer to ever have to try to like something. There are decent musical moments peppered throughout, but moments alone can't carry a record on it's back. I love the music to Dirty Water Dog. I remember hearing that it had half cooked Sammy lyrics on it, then shelved. That would mean it was up for grabs when Dave popped in in '96. He clearly would've kicked some Panama-sized ass on that one. When the riff to Ballot's verse kicks in before the God aweful singing punishment commences, there is a gleaming 5 seconds of Fair Warning-esque beauty. Then it's dashed. The vamp at the end of the ultra shitty Fire in the Hole is also tremendous. I even like whatever carnival barking Gary is doing there. I will say that I, for the most part, love the song Josephina. I just can't stand when Gary thinks it's OK to even attempt to channel Freddie Mercury. One thing I will always say about VHIII is that as much as it takes it's lumps, it's still ions better than Balance.

And yeah, what the hell were you supposed to do with the cards? What a waste. The cover would have been much better with no writing on the cannon, but they managed to fuck the cover up, too. Oh wells.

[gbranton]

I'll never forget when VH III first came out they started playing tracks from it on a local rock station and the two DJs were going on and on about how bad it sucked. They were playing the songs while talking over them and laughing. Then one of the DJs said they were going to have a VH III compact disc giveaway, anyone who wanted their copy could drive by the station and pick it up off the middle of the street while the other one was dying laughing. I have never heard anything like that before or since. One of my best friends bought it the day it came out and later tried to give it to me and I turned it down.

[sadaist]

One of my best friends bought it the day it came out

I did too. I gave it several listens through to be fair. Then I took it back to Tower Records & said it was scratched. They gave me an unopened CD which I then took back in a few days later for a full refund.

[BITEYOASS]

Four words on why VHIII sucked balls: How Many Say I

Does anyone have that Howard Stern clip in which he plays that song for Dave?

[DLR Bridge]

I like Ed's grizzly Tom Waits voice. Ashame his first recorded dabbling with lead vocals was on such a clunker of a tune. Words were aweful and Gary accompanying came of like he was Ed's vocal coach. If there's a song on Truth with Dave and Ed going back and forth with lines to a verse, no one will have a problem with it. HMSI was a poor gamble indeed.

[SNIPER]

I hated all those drum triggers used in some parts of songs. Ed's broom on the porch was a poor attempt at creativity also. That song "From Afar" Just strange I say...

[Roth & Roll]

I like Ed's grizzly Tom Waits voice. Ashame his first recorded dabbling with lead vocals was on such a clunker of a tune. Words were aweful and Gary accompanying came of like he was Ed's vocal coach. If there's a song on Truth with Dave and Ed going back and forth with lines to a verse, no one will have a problem with it. HMSI was a poor gamble indeed.

I always found Ed's voice had a Roger Waters sound to it - not sure how his voice would sound now since the tongue cancer incident. His speaking voice has changed greatly since then. I would assume the same is true with his singing voice.

[ELVIS]

Maybe Roger Waters on his death bed...

[Diamondjimi]

Still, I'd rather listen to Ed's voice than Jack White's. Any day!

[BITEYOASS]

Eddie's singing voice sounds like a drunk Leonard Cohen.

[GreenEyedMurder]

Fuck 'em both. I cannot imagine how bad it must suck for them to try and pull off a tour while the Mighty Van Halen is rolling across America. I hope Sammy really really likes playing in his club in Cabo. Cause that's gonna be the only place he can pull a crowd after this tour is over.

Can he even pull a crowd there now?

[Sensible Shoes]

If he hands out free shots all night he might.

[GreenEyedMurder]

I felt that Anthony should have been asked to tour with the band in 2007-2008. While not being aware of the particulars of Mike's relationship with the Van Halens or Roth, as a fan it seemed appropriate that he should have been there onstage with them...particularly because that was a greatest hits only live cash grab.
Five years on, Anthony not being there isn't quite as relevant for me anymore. The Van Halens don't want him there, Roth doesn't seem to care, Anthony seems content to be in Chickenfoot.
I mean, at some point you either accept Van Halen for what it is now or you don't.
It must be odd for Anthony to see the band remaking unreleased tunes off their old demo tapes, forging ahead, getting an amount of media attention that totally dwarfs Chickenfoot and embarking on a tour that will undoubtedly sell out a round of concert halls that will hold much larger audiences than Chickenfoot could ever dream of filling themselves. And doing it all without [Anthony]. I mean, on some level that's gotta hurt...especially considering how loyal he was to the Van Halen brand...but Anthony was there at the beginning, and regardless of being joined at the hip with Hagar these days, he will always have been a part of CVH.
Mike's place within the CVH legacy will always be intact.
Hagar's place within the overall Van Halen legacy will always be suspect and, at the most, second-best.

Good points. But the supposed laughing at VH's misfortune happened *before* the new VH album, media blitz, tour announcement, etc. It was like they were (or thought they were) kicking VH when they were down.

[GreenEyedMurder]

I never cared about Extreme.... i listened to "Once" this aft in the car it reminded me how weird it sounded to me back then...

Back in the mid-90s, I was friendly with a woman who had a massive obsession with Gary. I got to a point where if I heard "More Than Words" one more time, I was going to climb up a skyscraper with a rifle and show Charlie Whitman how it's really done.

[kwame k]

Back in the mid-90s, I was friendly with a woman who had a massive obsession with Gary. I got to a point where if I heard "More Than Words" one more time, I was going to climb up a skyscraper with a rifle and show Charlie Whitman how it's really done.

Should of just crushed her world by "outing" Gary to her

[fourthcoming]

I have never heard any of Van Halen III with the exception of seeing maybe a minute of some video they made for their crappy single. Don't even know the name of the tune but Eddie was wearing some rediculous Jester hat or something to that effect and I believe he had gloves with no fingertips on too. I was so pissed that after getting our hopes up for a CVH reunion in 1996 and FINALLY ridding ourselves of Hagar the horrible, Eddie and Alex turned to Gary Cherone??? Are you kidding me??? What a slap in the face......thank God DLR Band was a kick ass album. Too bad the rest of the world didn't latch on to that album. I could never understand how that wasn't a huge comeback album for Dr. Dave.

[DLR Bridge]

I too agree that it would have to be odd for Mike at this point in light of the older material being used, but his partnering up with Sammy has, in more recent times, brought out a side of him that is not so classy. The intro to Sam's book, the chiming in on laughing that the Soundwave Revolution fell apart, he's just kind of cornered himself as Sam's toad.

On a different note, I love that Mike, Joe and Chad have all contributed words of praise towards either Ed or the whole CVH band in both of Zloz's books. That has to sting a little, huh Sam? Chump.

[GreenEyedMurder]

Should of just crushed her world by "outing" Gary to her

Gary had a girlfriend back then, and this chick was insanely (and I do mean insane!) jealous of her. This woman once managed to get herself locked in a bathroom with him.

[kwame k]

Gary had a girlfriend back then, and this chick was insanely (and I do mean insane!) jealous of her. This woman once managed to get herself locked in a bathroom with him.

Holy fuck!

Can you say creeper

[mohican]

Gary had a girlfriend back then, and this chick was insanely (and I do mean insane!) jealous of her. This woman once managed to get herself locked in a bathroom with him.

Was Gary scared shitless locked up with a crazy chick or was he kind of pleased?

[kwame k]

Was Gary scared shitless locked up with a crazy chick or was he kind of pleased?

Or is that what finally turned him gay

[ashstralia]

it just occurred to me that i've never heard even one second of vh with cherone...

[kwame k]

it just occurred to me that i've never heard even one second of vh with cherone...

Don't....you'll thank me for it later!

[DavidLeeNatra]

[ashstralia]

Don't....you'll thank me for it later!

i'll thank you right now!

[kwame k]

[Yount]

I still just don't get how Eddie was convinced that Gary was THE best, final, one and only, hallelujah-it-doesn't-get-any-better-than-this singer for Dave's previous backing band. I mean, you can only use alcohol as an excuse for so long. Never once, even when I was fucked up out of my mind, did I say to myself - "you know what, Gary Cherone would be the perfect lead singer for Van Halen!"

YOU EEEEDIOT!!! Compare him to Sammy and he's the messiah! Man I REALLY DUG VHIII after 13 years of SPEW HAGAR. It was THAT refreshing. I think Eddie was onto some better drugs when he worked with Cherone. It wasn't a backwards step. Yeah, not perfect, you're right, you're never going to replace Roth, but he wasn't bad either. And How Many say I was probably Eddie strong-arming to get on the album, I wouldn't blame it on Gary at all. III sounded like Eddie's baby all the way. If anything, it was a case of - "Gary, sing this, do this, bend over."