"The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

[Roth & Roll]

Here was Spammy's going away present. Unfortunately Eddie wasn't sober enough to have the guitar land on Fagar's head. Plus, let's not forget his famous last words on this mediocre tour:

"THERE'S YOUR KING!"

The only King that Spam-bot can relate to is Burger King.

[DONNIEP]

Sammy sucks balls. Gary not only sucks balls, but he dances around onstage and acts out his ball-sucking, anal-fingering fantasies. Fuck Sammy...fuck Mikey...praise God that Dave has taken back his rightful role as captain of the ship!! Let's fucking GO!!!

[Nitro Express]

Sammy sucks balls. Gary not only sucks balls, but he dances around onstage and acts out his ball-sucking, anal-fingering fantasies. Fuck Sammy...fuck Mikey...praise God that Dave has taken back his rightful role as captain of the ship!! Let's fucking GO!!!

It's nice to finally have a band that doesn't have anal lube on the rider for once.

[DONNIEP]

It's nice to finally have a band that doesn't have anal lube on the rider for once.

Let's just set it straight, once and for all...Dave left the band in '85. Sammy came in and wrecked the band. Eddie crawled out from under his favorite rock in '96 and strung Dave along long enough to get two songs out of him. Eddie then pissed all over every true Van Halen fan by bringing in a third - THIRD - singer and shoved him down all our throats as the "real" lead singer of Van Halen - how's that tuba workin' out for ya Ed? And finally, FINALLY we get the one and only true singer back in the band. I honestly could give two shits what Sammy thinks of the new single, or the whole fucking record. Sam should concentrate on his piss-ass band and step to the side while the Mighty Van Halen rolls all over America.

[BITEYOASS]

Spammy still has a sore ass about the tour he had with Dave. You know, the solo tour in which he PWNED that troll sheep at every gig? Even Dave on his own doesn't have to put much effort into kickin' Spamster's ass..

[BITEYOASS]

[sadaist]

GW..."Ok, so how did Dave wind up back in the band?"
Ed..."Uhhh...well....Uhhh...I chase tone man, you know? I chase tone."
GW..."Ok, Dave, so how did you wind up back in the band?"
Dave - "I AM Van Halen motherfucker!"

Oh man! How did I miss this genius post. Excellent!!! Sig worthy in fact.

[ThatArtGuy]

The 'Lost show' was the first and main time Roth lost it on the air with CBS and spent 20 minutes calling them retards and morons. It was by a long way one of the best shows but they caught everyone off guard by not surprisingly failing to put it online, Turned out that someone had a raw copy which he sent to me which I knocked into shape and put up, Don't think I have it anymore but I think I'll have a look just in case.

I have all of them.

[BITEYOASS]

I have all of them.

What was the date of that show? Is it on YouTube?

[Yount]

Blows

...and not like Missy Stone

[Yount]

Big foot's lyrics are shite. I just picture Sammy in his car at the drive-thru getting a burger meal with upsize before heading over to her house.

[ashstralia]

hmmm, chookfoot ay?

joe. i've met the man, he's a champion bloke. and i suspect he's got a nice fat contract

[DavidLeeNatra]

hmmm, chookfoot ay?

joe. i've met the man, he's a champion bloke. and i suspect he's got a nice fat contract

at least he's got a fat singer...

[Seshmeister]

hmmm, chookfoot ay?

joe. i've met the man, he's a champion bloke. and i suspect he's got a nice fat contract

Is he tiny in real life? Like Mini-Me with a guitar?

[ashstralia]

pretty much. like jockey sized.

[Yount]

why does he always wear glasses? He always had those dark eyes. Is he always stoned?

Two guitarists that always look baked... Snatch and Vito Bratta

[Halen High]

Big foot's lyrics are shite. I just picture Sammy in his car at the drive-thru getting a burger meal with upsize before heading over to her house.

If you need a laugh check out the video.......It's so 'try-hard'.

Embarrassing for all involved.

[slowhand]

Not that I would think so highly of Spammy Gaydar and his beach bum rum, but I just can't think of anything else he could possibly say to discredit Van Halen and ADKOT. It made me think "what if" he came out and complemented them? I haven't decided yet if I would spill my beer after I shit my pants. If he's looking for another plug for his chickenshit band, he would get much more attention if he actually said something positive. So if you searched Van Halen and saw a picture of Sammy at the top with a quote saying he was impressed by the new songs, how would you react?

[VanCanHalen]

Sammy who..........???

[gbranton]

What if I admitted Sammy Hagar never happened?

[VanCanHalen]

What if I admitted Sammy Hagar never happened?

OMG quote of the day, love it!

[slowhand]

What if I admitted Sammy Hagar never happened?

I'd be glad the truth finally came out. We'd certainly be better off. Maybe ADKOT has a double meaning. Ed and Al want to come clean about how the fat guy was part of a failed CIA brainwashing program.

[Julius]

Why is this fucking post in main?

NO HAGAR IN MAIN!

[gbranton]

I'd be glad the truth finally came out. We'd certainly be better off. Maybe ADKOT has a double meaning.

Over the last 28 years we have all lived the final two episodes of Dallas. We thought he was gone but now we are finding out J.R. is alive and Bobby just dreamt it all.

[DONNIEP]

No Hagar in the Main!! And for your enjoyment I give you The Mighty Van Halen:

[binnie]

Sammy's opinion on ADKOT doesn't interest me.

[Carmine]

I watched The A-Team movie last night...I'm reminded of a quote from the movie...

the response to anything said by him goes like this...

Alpha...

Mike...

Foxtrot...

ADIOS...MOTHER...FUCKER!!

[DavidLeeNatra]

it's 2.800.000 views for "Tattoo"...and a strong 30.000 views for "Different Devil"...say you don't care, Sammy...say it like you mean it...

[Fairwrning]

All this " Old " shit sounds better than new Sammy shit..

[neuralfraud]

You know, after all these years, I never really gave it too much thought other than Spammy is a fucking weird mother fucker who writes shit lyrics and mediocre rock tunes.

He's a fucking homer. That's right. Everything he does is the best. Everything he likes is the best. He's so full of himself he probably jerks off to pictures of himself onstage. He's a fucking homer with a inferiority complex who doesn't want anyone to even possibly think what he's doing isn't as good as someone else - more of HIS songs on the Best of Volume 1, aint gonna sing any of daves songs.

Interesting old interview and im sure everyone here has read it

http://www.vhlinks.com/pages/interviews/evh/gw1296.php

[Seshmeister]

it's 2.800.000 views for "Tattoo"...and a strong 30.000 views for "Different Devil"...say you don't care, Sammy...say it like you mean it...

Not to mention the three songs he did in his reunion in 2004 are under 20 000 views...

[DavidLeeNatra]

Not to mention the three songs he did in his reunion in 2004 are under 20 000 views...

yeah...so glad that VH "at least came out with something"...even if it should be so much better...

[ashstralia]

why does he always wear glasses? He always had those dark eyes. Is he always stoned?

when we met him he wasn't wearing sunnies; but he had one of his funky beanies on. but in concert he wore the sunnies. i've a hunch they're prescriptions so he can see better and kill the lights a bit... looks cool. i'll be back joe, once you get this chookshit out of your system.

coincidentally it was his birthday when we met... i had chocolate cake and coffee with joe satriani!!! heheh

[Yount]

That interview link of EVH HOLY FUCK!! Never read that one!! Thankyou. Very insightful. Eddie crying out for Dave's funky funny twisty honey lyrics!

[Jetstream]

a dog named Russell is far more relevant than Sammy Hagar now...as it should be!

[redblkwht]

it's 2.800.000 views for "tattoo"...and a strong 30.000 views for "different devil"...say you don't care, sammy...say it like you mean it...

lmmfao bro funny shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Yount]

"half-assed standing ovation"

Eddie Van Liar.

I'm glad Van Halen is BACK because it means that EVH must be in a much better place now. Even though he was preaching sobriety in that interview he still wasn't thinking that clearly. Reading this just made me feel sorry for the guy, and sorry for Dave the way he got treated all those years - even the early years. Although he's certainly big enough to shrug it all off and doesn't need my sympathy.
Case in point - new album

[Yount]

but back to Hagar...

And so what does Sammy come back with? "Sky is turning black, knuckles turning white, headed for the hot zone." It was total tornado stuff! Not only did Alex tell him not to do that, but the director of the fucking movie told him, "Do not write about tornadoes."

infantile lyrics farking idiot

[GreenEyedMurder]

a dog named Russell is far more relevant than Sammy Hagar now...as it should be!

Russell can write better music.

[Jetstream]

Notice Sammy has not posted a single thing the last 4 days on his social network sites, not a damn thing after he had been posting on a regular bases every other day about the crap he was doing and always making sure to say how great it was in advance in the description. Why? He heard the LP by Van Halen. Scoreboard and team Chickenshit just got their ass kicked before the teams have even come out of the tunnel next month with the official release of ADKOT