"The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

[TJMKID]

Now for something fuckin' hilarious, and it ain't even photo-shopped.

Picture of Hagar's dead Mommy! She let the mop top get in her eyes --- that way she didnt have to see Sambo slipping his old cock between those gnarly teeth....

[Hardrock69]

Ooops...

SUBJECT: Your review of Red: My Uncensored Life in Rock could not be posted to Amazon.com

Dear Sesh,

Thanks for submitting a customer review on Amazon. Your review could not be posted to the website in its current form. While we appreciate your time and comments, reviews must adhere to the following guidelines:

http://www.amazon.com/review-guidelines

We encourage you to revise your review and submit it again. A few common issues to keep in mind:



• Written reviews must be at least 20 words long. The ideal length is 75 to 500 words.
• Your review should focus on specific features of the product and your experience with it. Feedback on the seller or your shipment experience should be provided at www.amazon.com/feedback.
• We do not allow profane or obscene content. This applies to adult products too.

LAFF MY FUCKING ASS OFF!

That last line says it all. I don't even need to know exactly what you said Sesh.

Overall, this thread is a piece of classic comedy!

[rustoffa]

I was watching the Styx behind the music deal the other night. Eventually, after Dennis told all about his light allergies and hatred of all things hard rocking, they discussed following Sammy Hagar on their Roboto play at a festival. Like they could see the tail lights leaving down the highway after two songs or whatever. Hagar, then the Roboto play.....lots of people contemplated the final solution that night.

[Panamark]

What I really want to know is, was it sober or Drunk Sesh that submitted
Im picturing all kinds of Mikey and Sammy dildo references and extreme abuse
about lies and exagerations that the red tampon is famous for inventing
on the spot !

Sesh, post what they rejected !!

[Panamark]

RUSS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crazy grate to see your name !! As good as the latest Van Halen snippet !

[rustoffa]

Great to see you as well Mark! Long story short, I love the way that VH Torch looks on the front page.....It's surreal.

[Panamark]

I love how Sarge remembers all the old traditions and stays true to them.
Its great to be around and see the torch blazing away, I havent felt this
excited for an album for over 20 years. Never thought I would feel
that way again. This is a sweet ride

[Golden AWe]

I'd like Heater to stay. One day he'll recover...

[Carmine]

That MPH/Kilo difference always fucks with my head when I drive in the US. On top of the fact that you
guys are all on the wrong side of the freakin road and the driver has to sit where the passenger normally does !

[Hardrock69]

RUSS! WTF! WELCOME BACK DUDE!

Bleater may or may not recover. If he is anymore than "half"-wit, he will eventually realize that continually trying to praise the Spamulus The Inferior will only get him flak from everyone else around here.

But then, he is a masochist, so he may just continue on, in the hopes of being abused.

[ian_hitmanhart]

Sammy is so fucking boring. Its hard to get angry when you cant actually make it through the article without dosing off. He's just a bitter fat bum with clown biting off a band he was in years ago. Stick to making awful tasting tequilla and playing clubs with Chicken Shit.

Van Hagar played Dave's tunes because they HAD to. You'll never here Van Halen play "Why Cant this be Sam" ever again. And all is right with the world. I'd rather have a Van Halen with Wolfgang and Dave than a Van Halen with Hagar and Anthony (as much as I love Mike, its the price you have to pay not to hear shit music by the little red rocker).

[Zing!]

I'd rather have a Van Halen with Wolfgang and Dave than a Van Halen with Hagar and Anthony (as much as I love Mike, its the price you have to pay not to hear shit music by the little red rocker).

EXACTLY!

[Hammy5150]

I didn't mind some of the VH songs with Sammy. Certainly not as good as the music they did with Dave but I didn't think it was all bad. But Sammy's constant whining these days has definitely made me think much less of him and that era of music with the band. I understand there is some bad blood but move on with your life for God's sake. The more he whines and talks shit about the VH, the more of a moron he makes himself look like.

I do think it is funnier the hell how many more plays on You Tube that "Tattoo" has had compared to Chickenshit's last single... in a little over a week!

I will enjoy watching the new VH album put Sammy's shit to shame.

[SNIPER]

What a sad, bitter little man he is.

[MUSICMANN]

The fat red round idiot, has to constantly put down VH to stay some what relevant. The old saying goes, even bad press is better than none at all. He knows that since 1985 he has road off the coattails of the VH name and if he had not joined the band he would have been out of music at that time. It's like pro wrestling. even though he doesn't want to be the bad guy, he knows that if he keeps the bashing going, he becomes the anti VH and by default, keeps a small following that will continue to support him and Chickenshit. With that album only selling 50,000 copies, and the amount of positive press Tattoo is getting and also the amount of pure hype about the upcoming album and tour, it's not hard to see that he now realizes his place and is just a bitter fat fucker.