"The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

[GreenEyedMurder]

I thought that HAGAR (goddamn that's funny!) was cast out because she already had a son, Ishmael (or whatever) and thus was a filthy, filthy whore.

But come on, that's funny.

Ishmael was fathered by Abraham, before Sarah was able to get pregnant. Hagar (who was actually Egyptian royalty) and Ishmael were cast out because they mocked Sarah when she was unable to get knocked up.

[GreenEyedMurder]

What a sad, bitter little man he is.

Can you blame him? He puts together this self-described "super group" and they just released an album that nobody outside of diehards has heard of, let alone bought. Then VH is about to release an album that is a throwback to the band's roots (ignoring the blight known as the Van Hagar Years), and neither the media nor fans can get enough. The first single off the new VH album is all over the news, and Chickenfoot would be lucky if they could get McDonald's to give away theirs with Happy Meals.

The VH tour, album, these video tidbits, etc., are hot news, while most people (not the diehards) have never heard of Chickenfoot and some may be wondering what ever happened to the fat guy who looks like Sarah Jessica Parker and if he's still making music these days.

[DavidLeeNatra]

Wake up in the morning, in the middle of the night
Pass by the mirror, make sure I’m lookin’ right, uh

Tattoo it on my arm, on the back of your neck
In between your legs baby, so you won’t forget me, uh

Chorus:
Don’t you worry, its gonna be alright
I’m in a hurry, I’m gonna drive all night
Be there in the morning, you can bet your @ss
I got both hands on the wheel, and my big foot on the gas, uh

Whoooo

Well’uh, got houses of the holy, on the box
I got it all cranked up cause, yeah that shit rocks, uh
Gottta roll down the window, things are getting all hot
I’m runnin out of gas baby I gottta stop .. well

Chorus:
Don’t you worry, its gonna be alright
I’m in a hurry, I’m gonna drive all night
Be there in the morning, you can bet your @ss
I got both hands on the wheel, and my big foot on the gas yeah

I got my big foot on the gas

guitar solo

Well, got my imaginations, runnin wild
.......
I’m all by myself, ah I crackin up
Better get some rest girl, I’m all pumped up

Chorus:
Don’t you worry, its gonna be alright
I’m in a hurry, I’m gonna drive all night
Be there in the morning, you can bet your @ss
I got both hands on the wheel, and my big foot on the gas yeah
Right there ....
I got my big foot on the gas
Are you ready baby?
Big foot on the gas

[BITEYOASS]

Well the troll seems to have shut his trap so far.

[Unchainme]

I was bored today at my internship, and looked over something on google books about the start of MTV. There was actually a cool interview with the dude from from lost weekend, and per what he claimed dude couldn't even remember his FIRST day, and he even said that he smoked a joint with DLR. Fucking..awesome!

anyways, doing a quick google search on the band, I came across this shit:



If I could find one simple reason as to why fucking Van HAGAR and Sammy Hagar sucks balls in one statement, it'd be this.

I'm going to dissect this bit by bit.

First off, I hate Van Hagar, but I always felt that one of their view lone bright spots in pop culture was the "Right Now" video. It was humorous and pretty interesting. The song is quite mediocre, and Hagar nearly ruins it, so needless to say kudos to the director for attempting to make Van Hagar seem interesting.

For Hagar to rip it because people wern't supposedly focusing on his dumbfuck lyrics is fucking dumb. Fuck, for as much Roth is often criticized for wanting to be the center of attention and having an ego, at least it resulted in something productive and awesome. Hell, for Roth it worked like a dream. People may have been focusing on Miss Wayne Gretzky and her tits in the video, but I'll be damned if you can't find one person who grew up in that time period or is a fan of hard rock who doesn't remember the fucking lyrics for "Hot for Teacher".

Onto the 1st half about "Writing lryics about sex, and wanting to write about real issues". You know what Sam? That's why (among other reasons) you're music with the Van Halen bros. and MA SUCKED BALLS. Roth got it, he tapped into everyone's primal urges, he didn't try to pretend to be fucking U2, he knew what he was first and foremost. Van Halen always had an element of humor, in a very smart wise sort of way. Go fuck yourself Sam. I hope you run into DLR and the boys on the street and he karate kicks your teeth out.

[Seshmeister]

Joe is the only musician I have ever worked with that won't do his guitar solo until he knows what my lyrics are. I asked him why and he said,'Well I want to know what you're singing about, and I want to play that' Hagar says.

'Joe that is the worst guitar solo I've ever heard, it's a steaming pile of putrefied cheesy sub retarded crap'.'

'Exactly'.

[ELVIS]

edit

[ELVIS]

I love how Sarge remembers all the old traditions and stays true to them.
Its great to be around and see the torch blazing away, I havent felt this
excited for an album for over 20 years. Never thought I would feel
that way again. This is a sweet ride

BTW, it's nice to be back and to see you and many others as we count down the days...

[ELVIS]

And piss on Hagar!

This thread needs to DIE!!!

[indeedido]

[


In the past Hagar has criticized Eddie Van Halen as a songwriter,

“Eddie is a genius guitar player and he can really play and he’s got a million things he can lay on you but you’ve got to try to make a song out of it,

1. The six pack would disagree with you.
2. See #1

[Halen High]

.....just can't stop thinking about Sammy, can you? I don't get it, like you need to prove something....convince yourself or someone else...like you're trying to distract your attention away from the thoughts of "we all know this isn't really as good as we are saying it is".......

It seems Sammy can't stop thinking about our band. Gee, I wonder why that is? Other than the re-emergence of Van Halen, the best thing about the last 12 months has been watching Sammy reveal his true self, and seeing many fans across the Van Halen online community, who had remained neutral, finally realise what most of us have known for years - that is - Hagar is no friend of this band or its fanbase - and he never has been.

[dazzlindino]

all right...whoo
how bout you come on
oh yeah dig it thats right
is everybody ready
lets go...up and down....
round n around movin up and down in n out
yeah crank it blow out
uh...ouch....ah, help me....
now flip on over
oh baby, you know what i like whooo!
whoo whoo

Those are the actual spammy lyrics.....



to source of infection....LOL

[JJtheVagPounder]

That song could have been awesome.....without that guy.

[Halen High]

Not sure about all our international members, but in Australia when Hagar
was hired for 5150, myself and everyone else in Oz that cared to discuss,
did not know who the hell this guy was, or where he had come from.
Total nobody to us. (Much the same as now !)

He struggled to fill a bar in Sydney (solo) during a visit following the first
VH attempt to rid themselves of mediocrity.

Its obvious he is a legend in his own lunchbox from
the words he speaks, thats for sure !

Well Panamark, as a fellow Aussie I can say you are spot on about Hagar's profile here. The first time I had ever heard of him was when a radio DJ announced the new Van Halen single, WCTBL, "with new frontman 'Sammy Hagar". He was completely unknown, which gave him a clean slate so to speak, as fans here had no preconceived prejudice against him. He still managed to blow it. I think his appeal is limited to a small section of the American hard rock audience, who like his 'no-frills, bland, dumb' kind of approach.

[Jetstream]

all right...whoo
how bout you come on
oh yeah dig it thats right
is everybody ready
lets go...up and down....
round n around movin up and down in n out
yeah crank it blow out
uh...ouch....ah, help me....
now flip on over
oh baby, you know what i like whooo!
whoo whoo

Those are the actual spammy lyrics.....



to source of infection....LOL

I'm laughing too hard at the moment, forgot what I wanted to say. And what the hell is he talking about? 10 to 1 it is not about sex, but eating a chili dog is more likely