"The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

[Nitro Express]

One thing I have always enjoyed is playing for people and making them smile. Anyone who has played for people knows the feeling of looking out in the audience and seeing them react to what you are doing. When you can tell they are really digging it you know you are onto something.

In short, people really seem to have liked Wolfie's bass playing at the Cafe Wha? show. He was holding the groove down and it was working. He harmonizes well with his dad on the background vocals. I mean Mike was great but Wolfie seems to be working. I'm sure its going to be a great tour this year.

[Texas Outlaw]

Funny that the article says "Readers are giving the eedge to Chickenfoot's new CD'.

Umm, really? Maybe Hagar fans are giving it an edge. I personally think it sucks. I gave it one listen and then never opened it again. It's the same old boring shit. Who cares if Hagar doesn't like "Tattoo"? He doesn't get it. Never has and never will. If I wanted deep lyrics and lovey dovey lyrics I'd listen to Journey or James Taylor or some other crap. When I want sex, drugs, too much whiskey, and fun....I listen to Van Halen, with David Lee Roth.

Hey Sammy....fuck off.

[Jetstream]

How much better of a lyricist is Dave than Spammy? Here is a great example. Take the song Skyscraper and compare it Pleasure Dome by Van Vagabond Hagar. Both songs have a strong foundation to me on Zeppelin's Achilles Last Stand (Dave should have done that song with Ed since they dig the same stuff musically and this example shows), drumming especially and the breaks in time. Here is some of Spammy to get it the hell out of the way and allow Dave to get rid of the bad taste in the mouth it will leave.

"Well now, none of this was planned
It all just kinda happened
I got more than I wanted, but how is still a mystery
Obsessed with this feeling, I trusted it. So I followed it
I was tripping and stumbling across a land full of miracles

Ow!
Into a world so far from home
Miles and miles from nowhere
Rooms without doors open for me. Oh, no!
Taking me miles and miles from nowhere

Oh, (miles and miles). Oh, yeah!

Lost, in this pleasure dome
Lost, in my own pleasure dome

Oh man, I ain't got a clue how to get out
Or how to find this place
I want my control back, but I'm afraid I'll lose that feeling. Ow!

Lost in a world so far from home
I'm miles and miles from nowhere
Fallin' inside my own pleasure dome
I'm miles and miles from nowhere

Oh, (miles and miles). Oh, yeah!

Lost in this pleasure dome
Lost inside my pleasure dome"
yup, Spammy, you do not have a clue and your lyrics seem to just sort of happen like a fart and you get lost in your own self gratification pleasure dome

now Dave...
"I can hear the sound
Of the North Star calling
Put your high beams on
Stay on my wing
I'm falling
And spinning and turning
This is ultra-glide
The beginnings of great things
Cannot be seen
By your naked eye

Can you see me now crack the skies like lightnin'
Mama's little sonic boom
Is simply frighteninig
I'm a skyscraper

Float like a buttuerfly
Acrobatic
Sting like a B-52
Dramatic
And the radar locks on you
No static"
yup, no static....FREAKING COOL, that just pumps me up even without music...it is modern poetry that takes pop culture into the mix and Dave always had a knack of using words where they would imply rock and a certain swing and punch even without the music...DUDE writes amazing rock lyrics

[Terry]

You always had a gift for the spot on post .

In a perfect world you'd write for Rolling Stone and some of these others that don't get it, and need to compare new VH to (unmentional band) because someone who gets interviewed every other week told them to.

Wow. What a cool thing to say. Thanks...I appreciate it.

[neuralfraud]

God dammit sammy's lyrics are just plain awful. I can't even bring myself to try and post any of them for dissection because they're a waste of time.

if it wasn't for mikey he'd be all dried up singin' with the hagarita's being the official house band of his own club.

Somehow I have the feeling that if it was just spammy, chickenfoot would never have happened.

"oh but he wrote heavy metal, and 3 lock box! and... i can't drive 55!"

memorable songs they are.. can only remember the chorus!

[GreenEyedMurder]

Dave didn't write these...

and for sure did not write THESE:

She put the cream in my coffee (first thing in the morning)
Spread hot butter on my biscuit (honeydew my melon)
Like them cherries on bananas (gonna need a second helping)
Thats why I'm up for breakfast so early in the morning

Got bacon on the table (first thing in the morning)
Squeeze some honey on my biscuit (honeydew my melon)
Spread some cream on my bananas (I need a second helping)
You know I'm up for breakfast so early in the mornin'

Ugh. As someone who ignored the Van Hagar incarnation, I had no idea that this piece of dreck ever existed. Sammy should be deported to Siberia for writing those heinous lyrics. "Disco Duck" had better lyrics.

[GreenEyedMurder]

Please tell me those aren't the actual lyrics to a Van Hagar song (I've never listened to it).

And to think I always figured the Cherone debacle to be Van Halen's low point. Sure makes you appreciate the fact that as a fan of the band, these are good times... aww... you know.

I cringed at the whole Cherone era, but I have to give Gary credit for always being gracious when talking about Van Halen. I never liked the treacly crap that oozed out of Extreme, but after observing how Gary has gone out of his way to avoid bashing Van Halen, I have much respect for him. He's the Anti-Sam.

[GreenEyedMurder]

I feel like throwing Mikey under the bus as well. Didn't he choose to be with Spambo instead of joining =VH=? Plus, did you hear his version of "Somebody Get Me A Doctor" from the last Spamster reunion? It's fuckin' awful!

I just read elsewhere that when the Australian festival was canceled a few months ago, Mike and Sam laughed about it. If that's true, Mike is not the "class act" fans claim he is, and he's no better than embittered Sam.

[ELVIS]

No, Cherone is a flaming homo and Sam is a piece of shit who looks like Ronald Mc Donald...

[GreenEyedMurder]

No, Cherone is a flaming homo and Sam is a piece of shit who looks like Ronald Mc Donald...

Flaming or not, Cherone has never bashed Van Halen and isn't trying to crap all over the new CD and tour. He's not trying to build a career off of taking shots at his betters.

[Panamark]

I just read elsewhere that when the Australian festival was canceled a few months ago, Mike and Sam laughed about it. If that's true, Mike is not the "class act" fans claim he is, and he's no better than embittered Sam.

Yes, they were mocking Van Halen's "disorganisation" and were both 100% convinced that VH couldnt
get their shit together.... Which side of their face is that laughter coming out of now ?

[ELVIS]

Flaming or not, Cherone has never bashed Van Halen

Ga y Cherone bashed Van Halen with his lame-ass voice while fingering himself...

Learn to sing it in two part harmony with Dave and Edward...



"Gary Cherone is a fucking flaming homo! La la la licks nutsacks la la la"

[So this is love]

No, Cherone is a flaming homo and Sam is a piece of shit who looks like Ronald Mc Donald...

You're such an angry little bastard... I hope you're not the asian guy at wha cafe b/c I'll smack you little fucker...lol

[So this is love]

Flaming or not, Cherone has never bashed Van Halen and isn't trying to crap all over the new CD and tour. He's not trying to build a career off of taking shots at his betters.

Cherone is smarter than Hagar, he's having a retirement that you and me can only wish with VH3 only........

[gbranton]

Cherone is smarter than Hagar, he's having a retirement that you and me can only wish with VH3 only........

I doubt that, VH III barely went gold and the tour was mostly cancelled. He has probably made more dough with Extreme.